Wintry Blast

"... there's just something beautiful about walking on snow that

nobody else has walked on. It makes you believe you're special."

Carol Rifka Brunt

In the still of this evening, the wind has blown the snow over the tracks of others and I feel like I am walking on freshly fallen snow.  There is a promise of sunshine tomorrow, so the four inches of snow will be melting as well as the ice beneath.  

In darkness, I choose careful steps and hear the crunch of the snow while feeling uplifted for no particular reason.  The silence of the night with children and sleds put to sleep, I reclaim this solitary walkway as mine.  With deep breaths, I address the loveliness of the trees and respect the scampering of tiny animal feet.

The snow has been a gift by changing the scenery to pristine white, and I can pretend the curtailing of venture is from this wintry blast.   I can ignore a little while longer that I am by the fire by choice and not quarantined by the force of a virus like none other in my life.

 

We Are What We Know ...

 

"If I had experienced different things,

I would have different things to say."

Mark Nepo

As we witness our lives interacting with life, there is a need to be honest and accurate.  To record the truth, we must not have preconceived ideas or faulty perceptions.  A level of pain is the catalyst to learning, but we must endeavor to not be stuck in the role of victim.

The turning points in life are normally triggered by negative challenges.  If we clearly recognize them, embrace the lesson, and apply it as a tool for living, we will advance. Heightened emotions only distract from the learning curve.

This being said, it is also true that some of our relationships have emotionally or physically damaged us. When we share difficult experiences we may feel badly for calling out others.  As we expose our truth  it must not be distorted as we continue to propel our lovely selves towards healing. 

Children of the Pandemic

 

"When the children return to school

we will need to listen to them."

Irish Holtry

An interesting letter written by Irish Holtry, an Upstate New York superintendent, shifted my narrow minded thinking about the effects of the pandemic.  The letter directed to friends and colleagues, emphasized how to embrace these students of the pandemic ... to learn and listen new history from them.

This superintendent's concern was our tendency to want to bring these students "up to speed" or focus on test based deficits that no longer apply There is a new history to be learned from these students and peers need to help them relate to these experiences.  They have suffered through the death of a relative or pet, what the created absence means, and how to deal with death.

Students desire will be to relate to their peers and teachers, to share what they have missed and articulate what they need.  They did not miss homework, lesson plans or tests.  They missed the relationship with others to understand the unimaginable upside down world they have been isolated in. Working with the children needs to take precedence, teaching them tools to adjust to the new world.

Slow Paced Days

"I have just three things to teach:

simplicity, patience, compassion."

Lao-Tzu

During this time of COVID, our boundaries continue to shift.  We are more aware of excursions outside of our homes and the distance we maintain between others.  In one sense, our surroundings have simplified our opportunities for giving.

There tends to be a slower pace and when we find ourselves growing impatient, we can give smiles with our eyes or we can make gestures for one other to move in front of us.  We can quietly assist a person who is struggling in reaching, stepping or walking.  So simple and it costs nothing.

These opportunities will help us feel better as we remain isolated.  It seems more appropriate to spontaneously send a quick e-mail or message just to touch base.  The effort to reach  out can be so simplistic, and yet compassionate.  We will spontaneously brighten these slow paced days. 

How It Could Be

"Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90.

Time is a concept that humans created."

Yoko Ono

Mysteries are prevalent in life if we slow down to notice them.  Ignoring scientific reason, we can wonder what holds the heavy airplane up in the sky or the bird with spread wings soaring, or the timing of color turning upon a leaf.  

As I peel off the heavy skin of a Clementine, I feel the juiciness leaking onto my fingers.  This is how I am, heavy skinned on the outside, but still juicy inside.  Visualization expands my mind, and meditation deepens my inner awareness.  

When I pause, glancing out the window, I see two hawks nestled together perched upon a limb.  They are braving the snow as it gently falls from the heavens.  One is colored a deep brown while the other is as white as a hawk can be.  Together, side by side, facing challenges as this is how it could be.

Sharing Information

"I am responsible for what I have said, I am not

responsible for what you have not understood."

Jagadeesh Kumar

Like a clothesline with shirts and sheets pinned, flapping in the breeze, words hang in our minds as we try to understand or pin them down.  All humans have the desire to be both heard and seen and communication is how we navigate through life.

In the midst of social conversation or professional discussion, comments can be perceived as insults or confusing falsehoods.  Whether the error was made by mispronunciation or conflicted basic values, confidants divide.

An immediate reaction can be splayed across the face of the other,  but we may not even register the negative expression.  When challenged, we may wonder where in the world such a translation could have occurred or why the sharing of information would trigger such an adverse response. Be careful, as words can be like bullets shot through the heart.

Soothed

"Isn't patience the need to let the mixture of

inner and outer brew until the lessons are

fragrant and soothing?

Mark Nepo

Either we spend our time mulling over emotional roller coaster or pondering the actions of others.  The value of both reach us and we connect the two.  The lesson becomes more certain when we can open our lovely selves to a bigger picture going within and evaluating the outside.

We notice synchronicity more often when we can combine all of life.  We readily catch on to a particular theme or recurring option.  By noticing little flags on the inner and the outer, our path tends to be less cluttered. 

Perhaps we need to be more patient until we can connect the dots or maybe we are trying to apply unneeded information to what is meant to be simple.  When we have compassion for our learning curve, we will accelerate our progress.  Discover the fragrance and we will be soothed.

 

It Aught to Be ...

"Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but

just look what they can do when they stick together."

Vesta M. Kelly

Ice covered the pavements and then a light dust of snow. A day later four inches of beautiful snowflakes gently fell to the ground.  As I tried to individualize each flake, I became mesmerized by their grace and delicacy.  

This white fluff has stirred the child within the housed adults.  They have taught the children how to make snow angels and then snowmen.  Neighbors gathered together taking turns manning the sleds skidding down the steep street into the cul-de-sac.  

As if the COVID virus hasn't held us still enough, this lathering of ice and snow has sealed the  neighborhood.  Families have shared sleds, borrowed eggs or milk, and exchanged laughter.  The lovely spirit of snow has joined these common dwellers with peace and calm, as it aught to be.

 

Depth of Our Lives

"How are you tending to the emerging 

story of your life?"

Carol Hegedus and Frances Vaughan

Even when we say nothing, we need to be fully present.  In order for our life to unfold, we cannot repress any parts of our lovely selves.  There is no need to dwell on stories or history, but they do not need to be extended through drama or obsession.  

Life can be compared to reading a book.  The reader is aware of the book physically present, the information mentally accepted, and then we turn the page and begin anew.  We aught not skip ahead nor linger upon what has already been read.  Highlighting allows us to refresh memory, our covers can be damaged or lost, pages do become stained, and most unfortunate, we may not remain steadfast to experience the finish. 

When we actively participate in our own unfolding, we experience integrity and the desire to be true to our own authenticity.  As we grasp the importance of each moment, there is less time to dwell on experiences that no longer assist and more time to cultivate the richness and depth of our  lives.

 

More Like Olaf

"Some people are worth melting for."

Olaf 

 (Frozen Movie)

The spiritual path is displayed in many languages and taught by many masters.  It is a given that being in Nature can award us both inside and outside.  Wisdom can be found in nursery rhymes, fairy tales, as well as ancient documents.

This continues to be true by observing the character of Olaf in the movie FROZEN.  The entire concept of adapting to being frozen, contributes to this current tale.  My two youngest grandchildren faithfully watch this movie when television time is allowed.  Over and over, my attention continued to turn to the snowman, Olaf.

This character is an illustration of joy, uncertainty, relationship, and observation of life.  He embraces children, adults, and  animals while he is willing to be shape shifted and reframed.  I want to be more like Olaf ... laughing, embracing, and opening my heart to all.

 

Timelines Reflect Personal Transitions

"At age 20, we worry what others think of us.

At age 40, we don't care what they think of us.

At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all."

Ann Landers 

(1918-2002)

Timelines reflect information without being bogged down by either happiness or sadness.  It is interesting to draw a series of timelines to get an overview of changes we make throughout our life.  There can be a timeline for: life span, emotions, physical health, endurance, darkness, and creative growth. The options are endless.

Without cumbersome words or distractions, we can look at several of our timelines at one time and receive objective clarity. These markers can cross reference data showing alignment or disconnection. The layers of information observed together are quite revealing.

Timelines reflect how we have been strong or faltering during times of stress.  We can easily view  progress without getting defensive or creating a story.  It will be apparent as to how we have implemented creativity or chosen withdrawal.  Timelines offer self-reporting to assist us through change.

                                                      ----------------------------------

TIMELINE:  Draw a straight singular line from left to write.

                        Choose subject to reflect information: Support/Creativity/Challenge/Identity

                        Above the line mark specific segments of time or pass/fail model.

                        With a dot or star, mark progress at that time.

                        Continue across the line.

EXAMPLE:  Support System

Childhood      Teens           College        Marriage           Parent           Career   Retirement

Supported

 

_****___________________****________**______________**_______****_________****_____

                       *****                                                     **

Unsupported

                                                     ------------------------------------

(If I have confused you, please feel free to email questions privately: vec8@yahoo.com)

                        

Knowing the Difference

 

 

"I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving,

obeying and respecting."

Eve Ensler

At an early age, we experience choices between what is expected of us and what we desire to do.  We all want to be loved and appreciated, but as one becomes a parent, definitions and boundaries shift.  One would think by the time one has aged, there would be one clear set of questions, responses and flexibility. This is not the case.

We still have the tendency to be a people pleaser, giving in out of habit rather than clarifying our choice. We want to respect others, and we want them to respect us; but unless we speak our truth, how will anyone know who we are?  

For harmony in life, we can use our voice or set examples in how we choose to live. We maintain respect for others while displaying respect for ourselves.  Genuine affection will come to us without having to buy outcomes.  If we find ourselves with unmet basic needs, perhaps this is a sign to move forward. Establish new gatherings with a more fulfilling exchange.

Constricted by One Color

 

"I think the difference between being miserable and 

finding happiness is just a mater of perspective."

Sarah Silverman

God bless the person who brought my attention to the concept that we are multi-sided and not just one concrete never changing description or color.  If I had not been 'gifted' with this concept, I would still be undergoing self-torture of consistently adjusting my one limited color.

Physically, we grow and we mentally expand creating change.  No one remains the same, except when constricted by one definition.  They say to look into a mirror to see the self, but mirrors come in sizes, shapes and don't forget the carnival crazy house mirror! Why settle for just one color when there are endless hues and tones!

Establishing alignment of the self is the process of acknowledging the ability to be more than one thing, and how even in opposition, those things can be appropriately used.  It is torture trying to live up to someone else's definition.  It is best to throw away the roll of labels in exchange for a sturdy roll of toilet paper.  Use endless sheets to reflect our multi-sided radiance with the option of discarding some squares that in hindsight no longer blend.

Brief Overview

 

"Pain is inevitable; Suffering is Optional."

Dan Mager

The words pain and suffering are not the same.  Pain stems from a physical response which is unavoidable where as suffering is an emotional reaction triggered by our response.  Pain is not chosen, but the degree of suffering can be a choice.

Pain and suffering are connected when we mentally obsess over negative emotional situations.  In response, our body begins to tense creating physical pain in our muscles as reactions to stress.  The pain alert activates the body.  

In this sense, our choice to dwell on the negativity of life is felt in our physical space resulting in pain. So emotional upset results in suffering, but it also alerts the body to a physical response of pain. This leads to the connectedness of body, mind, and soul.  It reflects the importance of balance and our ability to control it.

Intended for Love

 

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, 

how much the heart can hold."

Zelda Fitzgerald 

Too frequently, we envision our heart to be this lacey and delicate shaped sentiment when it is really an expandable, contractable, encouraging, and warning device.  We say our hearts are stolen or we have given them away, and yet they are very durable beating within.

There needs to be a distinction between heart and spirit.  The heart is an amazing organ symbolizing all of our emotions.  Our spirit in an invisible entity shape shifting into streams of knowledge, awareness; guidance, and all things both worldly and spiritual.

Our spirit is a container holding out of world realities and programs for our human experience.  Our heart guides the container into which our energies flow.  Our spirit is resilient and our heart patient as together, they intend our lives to be filled with love.

Fear Not Being the Same

"We all grip tightly to what we know, even if we hurt ourselves in the process."

Mark Nepo

Why do we do that ... keep touching sore spots?  It is similar to pushing upon a bruise to make certain it still hurts.  Correcting behavior sounds contradictory in that when we feel the need to cling, it is really time to let go and when we feel the need to run it is really time to stand still.

We tell our lovely selves we are going to change, but somehow it is more comfortable to stay in our quagmire.  Change requires deliberate actions and a mending of our journey.  If we continue to remain in the same grooves, we will continue to be lodged in the same patterns.

Even when we know the past cannot hurt us, it remains challenging to eliminate the memory.  It takes time and patience to unearth the sore spots and release the story.  We may even fear that we will not be the same if we dislodge emotional boulders; and truthfully, we will change ... we will become stronger, healthier, and amazed by whom we truly are.

 

Freedom to be Authentic

 "Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be."

  Abraham Lincoln

If we seek happiness from others, we will be dependent upon outside actions.  When we develop confidence and self appreciation, we discover a sense of freedom while developing the life we want or need.

We have the inner ability to support being happy or being sad.  If we hold our lovely selves accountable, we are more selective in our choosing.  

In order to make best choices, we need to have working knowledge of our preferences, passions, and abilities.  We must align our actions with our goals.  When we practice independence by listening to our spirit, we will take greater strides towards our intended worldly presence. 

Ego On A Chair

"Awareness and ego cannot coexist."

Eckhart Tolle

Like a magic trick, it can be mind boggling when we discover we are not our ego.  The ego is separate from who we are and programmed by years of conditioning.  The ego is like an automated response created over the years not truly reflecting who we are or who we intend to be. Once we become aware, we are able to silence the ego and project our true nature.

As we begin to understand how the ego works and exactly how invasive it can be, we become more aware of how we need to present our true selves to others.  We are willing to risk being authentic as our confidence grows.

As we realize the ego can throw tantrums, make ultimatums, and automatically react by itself, it becomes helpful to consciously dismiss it.  Here is a great tool:  Prior to an important interview, deep conversation or difficult situation, tell the ego to sit over on a chair.  Mentally see this.  This conscious movement assists us in being true to our heart.

Gathering Our Parts

 

"When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Do you see the real you or what you have been conditioned

to believe is you?"

David Icke

Society, if not family of origin, conditions us to feel too fat or too thin; too book smart or rather stupid; popular or reject.  Outside judgments can be extremely cruel, especially if we neatly file them away as eternal truths.

Each of us can recall a time in our past where someone, either friend or foe, made a sarcastic remark that influenced us for years to come.  It has inhibited us from progressing in development.  To the extreme, one can think of musicians, poets, or artists who have been judged and rejected repeatedly; but, somehow they push on.

In what areas do we need to personally push on?  Are we stuck in harsh memories that keep us small?  Looking into a mirror will not reflect the heaviness in our soul.  We need to look within and unsnarl our natural beauty, talents and spirit.  We can gather our parts together, making us healthy and whole.

Spider Web Prevents Alignment

"It seems like the chaos of this world is accelerating, but so is the

beauty in the consciousness of more and more people."

Anthony Kiedis

We are all exceptional at storytelling.  Some stories are complete fabrication while others are tainted by narrow perception.  As an individual, reality is prevalent when we can grow quiet and open our minds to clarity.

It is not until we can be still, allowing truth to appear not influenced by our sense of right or wrong.  Truth appears when we can be open to embrace reality without disfiguration of thought, word, and deed.  It is necessary for us to withdraw into the inner space where there is no story.

Using the image of two branches loosely attached by a spider's web, one can perceive how our stories connect are inner self with the outer self.  Our inner self is more capable of maintaining truth as reality, than our outer self that as it bends towards the conditioning of our culture. The debris caught in the web is what keeps the two selves from aligning.  

The Soul Leads Us

 

"The stuff of our lives doesn't change.

It is we who change in relation to it."

Molly Vass

Whatever challenges face us during our human experience are related to our core issues.  Each of us have lessons to be learned, and these projects often return repeatedly, even after we have mastered them.  They can appear totally different at first glance, but in time we learn from repeated mistakes.  It is with hindsight that we eventually see the thread running through the tapestry of our lives.

It is common to try to avoid these lessons at all cost.  We can isolate or become enmeshed,  but what we must learn, follows us.  There is no permanent side stepping.  Circumstances lead us towards self-discovery and with courage we shift our reactions and deepen our sense of self.

We continue to return to certain lessons and we find our selves asking, "What am I supposed to be learning here?"  Often times we proceed with blind faith which leads us to our self-worth.  Our soul continues to offer us the chance to change who we are in relationship to our inner selves, our worldly presence, and spiritual path.

(Thoughts have been influenced by the writings of Mark Nepo)

Natural Resource, Intuition

"When we speak of following your inner voice, remember 

that most people do not experience it as a voice."

Shakti Gawain

We have lost touch with our natural ability of listening to our intuition.  As the stories we tell our lovely  selves thicken, and the increasing drama with raised voices accelerates, it becomes more challenging to hear the inner guidance.

We are unaware that our nudges or gut feelings are part of our intuitive process.  We anticipate insight into our dilemmas, but some how move too fast physically and emotionally to actually embrace the wisdom.  Often times we expect answers immediately, and for our best interest, guidance gently unfolds.

Eventually we develop the skill to simply relax, allowing responses to gently flow.  The answers may come with a bird song or a whisper of the wind or an automatic sense of right from wrong.  It might appear in an document  or from an over heard conversation.  If we push too hard, we block the process which is really quite fluid and natural.  Intuition is a natural resource within us that can be separated from our inner chatter.

 

Trigger of the Emotion

"... to neither repress nor express.

I call this 'direct experience.'"

Gangaji

As an avid reader, I consume a multitude of words.  The non-fiction subject matter is often the same, but each author expresses his or her understanding differently.  THE DIAMOND IN YOUR POCKET written by Gangaji is somehow very palatable and taking me deeper within my presence.

In Gangaji's discussion of the impact of positive or negative, she states we accumulate stories that are immediately applicable to emotion.  If we simply remain present in our core and neither 'hide' nor 'seek' an emotion cannot penetrate into our authentic self as all emotion has a beginning and an ending.  We learn to stand in truth with all else stripped away.  This reduces the trigger of the emotion.

We are conditioned by our culture and we tell our lovely selves stories tainted by false interpretation and we consistently create chaos.  By not automatically reacting, we can easily watch fear or anger come and go.  As we experience the depth of our presence, we view the human being existence before us, and truth becomes more apparent . This helps us to better understand and remain in our connection with all things.

 

The Experience of Switching Places ...

        "Some days we feel like strangers.  When our

heart opens, we will realize we belong just here."

Jack Kornfield

As a young child, I experienced recurring dreams.  To better understand them, I learned to project them on an imaginary movie screen.  Outside of the dream, I could observe using fast forward or choosing slow motion.  I grew adept at recognizing symbols and learned to untangle the message behind the dream.

It wasn't until I had children of my own that I began to help others with their dreamscapes.  It was amazing how much a person could learn about repressed feelings or fears.  Most people were not  especially aware of the depth attached to a dream nor were they prepared for the confusion between the sense of reality in the dream.

Through the discipline of meditation, one learns how to be present and  allow thoughts to float across a screen.  Both visualization and meditation practices allow us the ability to be somewhat 'out of body' with spiritual imagery.  Therefore, today, I can be the essence of calm up on the screen, while watching my human self participate in an earthly story with birth and death.  The non-physical presence becomes my reality ... connected with all behind the scenes.

 

FINDING THE SOUL

""But no one tells us exactly how to go about transforming

the defended self into the undefended self."

Betty Clare Moffatt

The last half of my life has been spent on either trying to extract what is no longer needed or trying to inject more compassion and kindness.   Betty Clare Moffitt's book, SOULWORK reflects this process of transformation.

Our attention tends to become all action when we really need stillness.  In Gary Zukav's book, THE SEAT OF THE SOUL, we come to understand how our authentic identity sits and waits.  It is a matter of uncovering that which is already there.

We can think of the presence within, sitting and waiting to be recognized and heard, as our soul who arrived in life clad in a human body suit.  It is interesting to think of the soul observing the human self trying on qualities like being behind a curtain trying on clothes. When we can embrace the sacred self in stillness and silence, life becomes not easier, but more understandable.

 

 

The Essence of Nothingness

 

"But it is actually no face at all, with no gender, no agenda.

It is simply shining as it is, shining and shiningness."

Gangaji

It would seem as though once we determine something is solid, it begins to gently crumble.  We are determined to unfold into the best of our lovely self so we teeter between hiding our inner concepts while actively searching for another.  This is something similar to a cat chasing its tail.

In quietude, we can sink into our depths silencing thoughts, words, and deeds.  This is where one discovers nothingness which is a state of undefined presence.  THE DIAMOND IN YOUR POCKET, written by Gangaji, illustrates the experience of "no face at all, with no gender, no agenda". 

When we can witness this 'nothingness' we release all forms of previous conditioning.  Boundaries superficially protecting us fall away allowing our inner light of nothingness to grow stronger.  It is with this understanding we experience the true sense of freedom and authenticity.

Lead Towards Integrity

"... what matters most to the author is the honesty

with which a book is written."

Paulo Coelho

An author can write about fiction or non-fiction and an individual can share a dream or intention. In both cases, we would expect honesty.  Reality may be a very small segment, but the projection aught to be grounded in truth. 

It is helpful to project an image of self that can be depended upon.  We are called to be true, but our appearance may be altered from one situation to the next.  The underlying hope is to relate with honesty and integrity.

A parched wild flower may have hidden thorns, and so may we. Simple awareness of reality and application of honesty leads us to integrity.  Accepting what is and unfolding into improvement is far better than the false presentation of perfection. 

 

Bare Essence

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk,

then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."

Lemony Snicket

My morning readings consisted of Mark Nepo, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, ("The mystery is that being authentic is the only thing that reveals to us a kinship with life."); and Shakti Gawain, REFLECTIONS IN THE LIGHT, ("Being in contact with your higher self is characterized by a deep sense of knowingness.")  Both of these authors invite the reader to pull inward without definition to experience inner knowing.

We intuitively know that change is a constant, and we observe our personality, family, and environment alter before our very eyes.  If we watch from behind our eyes, however, we realize we are a credible presence other than our worldly definitions.  

The projection of child, mother or friend is simply a role we play.  They are all characters we create for stories dressed in our individual perceptions of experience.  By taking away the investment in costumes, drama falls away, and in this stillness, reality occurs.  We then begin to relate to our bare essence.