Behind The Door In Our Dreams

 

 

 

 

"It seems whatever the door, whatever our fear - be it love or truth or even the prospect of death - we all have this choice, again and again:  avoiding that part of our house, or opening the door and finding out more about ourselves by waiting until what is dark becomes seeable."

 

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

 

 

When working with dreams, a home is symbolic for our mental state of being.  First, we detect if we are in our own home or someone else's house.  Then we locate where we are in our home ... the basement (old baggage), the kitchen (nourishment), living room (social), bedroom (intimacy), or upstairs (spiritual). 

 

If we are in someone else's house, we can determine what the person who owns the home means to us.  What do they symbolize or what quality do you admire or dislike?  Whatever you decide, it has to do with you and not the person.   

 

If you are wandering, exploring unfamiliar houses, this may reflect that you are pondering new ideas.  If you notice you are in a foreign country, it might mean the content under consideration is foreign to you ... not wrong, but unknowing. 

 

So all homes have doors (if they don't that would pretty much indicate rigidity or a lock down of feelings and thoughts). There is much to be noticed about the door.  Is it locked or hidden?  Does it have windows in it to see through?  Do you have the sense that you are trying to tug the door open or keep the door shut?  Notice which room you are in and then apply this insight into what you might be hiding or seeking.  Is the door damaged by someone else or sealed closed?  Do you fear what is on the other side or do you already know, but cannot bring your self to open it.

 

At first sight, a door to opportunity may not look inviting.  All events in our life, however, are always an experience for us to learn.  The action of opening a door, even a crack, can let a little fresh air or light in.  The process can be gradual, but if it is presented, it  is doable. 

 

On the other hand, if you are plainly trying to keep someone out by bolting the door in your dream, this is a message to you that you are not hearing in day time.  You may be suppressing the reality of a situation when you truly need to take action to close the door. 

 

As in all things, the amount of attention we give to something, results in a broader understanding.  What we do not deal with during our waking hours, easily slips into our dream time.  If we ignore our dream time and a situation accelerates, we may end up with a night mare!

Prior to Sleep

 

 

 

 

 

My friend, Cherrie, posted this on Facebook,  My Night Time Affirmations, by Loaf Affirmations.  There were 14 positive messages to set the stage prior to sleep.  They are quite similar to preparation to encourage the mind to retain dreams.

 

I am now ready for sleep:  Once in bed, it is important to tell the body your intention for sleep.  This is why many people use sleep masks as a definite indicator that it is time to rest.

 

I am calm and safe as I lie down:  Even if we are not feeling afraid or unsettled, it is important for the mind to feel secure.

 

I am now relaxed both physically and mentally:  Begin at your toes, telling them to relax.  Work your way up your body, telling each body part to relax. 

 

I am filled with a sense of contentment, happiness, and gratitude:  Setting the mood for our sleep time is important.  Even if our only happiness is that the day is done, we are setting a pattern.

 

I am grateful for the experiences that today brought into my life:  We may not understand all of our experiences from the day, but we know everything will fall into a rightful place eventually.

 

I am very happy with my self and the accomplishment I achieved today:  It is important to acknowledge what we have created or contributed no matter how large or small.

 

I am thankful for the abundance I am constantly and forever blessed with:  Abundance has more meaning to it then financial gain.  We may have abundant love, food, shelter, or choices.

 

I am looking forward to tomorrow and the opportunities it brings:  Positive thoughts eliminate our worries with the next day.  They help to settle the mind.

 

I am forgiven and I am forgiving of myself and of all others:  Sometimes we hurt other people's feelings without even knowing it.  We may be holding a grudge subconsciously.  This helps.

 

I am filled with a sense of deep peaceful sleep now:   This message confirms all of the above.  We have placed all distractions outside of our body and mind. 

 

It was suggested that the list be printed out and kept by the nightstand.  Eventually, you will have it all memorized and will automatically fall into the steps, slowly.  Another idea would be to record this message and then hit the play button once settled in bed.  Might be worth a good night's sleep!  

Creating a Sanctuary

 

 

 

"Find a place in your home

that can become a sanctuary

from the cares and worries

of the outside world."

 

Ron Rathburn

THE SILENT MIRACLE

 

 

We all need a place to rest and I am not referring to  a summer home or an island vacation.  We need to carve out a spot for ourselves where we can have immediate access.  Some of us are fortunate enough to have a large enough living space that we can designate a room or a corner to claim as our very own. 

 

I met a lady who once told me she had so many kids and extended family popping in and out, she sought out the dark space under her stair well that had been meant for storage.  She moved everything out that had been stashed in this place, and found room enough for an adequate chair, lamp and floor space for a small throw rug.  She kept a wooden box to hold her journal, tarot deck, and current book.  She would discreetly slip inside her sanctuary, closing her loved ones outside.  She took great pleasure in decorating the wooden slats with collages she made to reflect her spiritual journey.  I remember her saying, "Once you start meditating or get entranced by reading or obsessed with writing your story, who really notices what your immediate surroundings look like!"  She was joyful!

 

While reading about rituals, there was reference to a woman living in a small apartment.  She needed to have a sacred place, but no where to put it.  She finally discovered she had room in a corner behind a chair.  She placed a small table there with  her sacred inspirations, prayer journal, and candle.  With the chair in its rightful position, no one could see what was behind it.  When she turned the chair around, she automatically had her sacred space.  What is that saying, "Where there is a will there is a way."

 

As children grow up and move away, women eagerly claim the empty space for a sewing room or book room.  A friend of mine did not dismantle her daughter's room when she exited, but repositioned the furniture so she could set up her massage table to share energy work with friends.  Voila, it was perfect!

  

Although it may not be ideal for all of us, one woman I know uses her bathtub.  She keeps candles and music in her bathroom for her daily 'soaks' which provide inspiration.  Another friend uses a potting shed during the warmer months.  So we can use anything available, we just need to be creative. 

 

Our sanctuary is more about honoring ourselves than it is about having a chapel custom built in our home.  It is about experiencing an established emotionally safe place where we can just 'be' without a lot of orchestration.  We deserve a designated sanctuary where we can return to over and over again where our body, mind, and spirit can just unfold.  

 

 

 

To Stand Naked

 

 

 

"I never want to be afraid to pause,

touch my stillness,

then trust my calm sense

of what to do this time."

 

Hugh Prather

SPIRITUAL NOTES TO MYSELF

 

 

As a young child, I learned to wear a suit of armor to protect myself from all I could not understand.  My mantra became, "You are not going to hurt me!"  When things I could not control approached me, I was able to turn my little self into stone in support of my armor.  Perhaps, this contributes to the heaviness I have carried around all of my life.

 

So over the years, one by one, chinks in my armor were unlocked.  It was too cumbersome to drag all of the weight.  I learned that not only did the armor deflect emotions from me, it also isolated me. Being a survivor hanging out in armor, I never allowed myself to feel.  When a situation was coming at me, I would remove myself spiritually, emotionally and when I could, physically.   I placed all of my mental strengths into my plan of flight so I would feel nothing.  There would be no standing still.

 

It takes an enormous amount of strength to learn to stand in the present without a suit of armor.  After accomplishing that, I needed to learn to not turn to stone as a means of protection.  I began to realize this kind of action kept negatives out, but also kept out the positives.

 

So then I process issue by issue.  I learn to stand naked as a breathing human being.  It would seem that it was necessary for all previous resolve to return one last time in order to get the entire experience ... to feel.   So I never escaped all of those feelings, they just caught up with me later and all at once.

 

Traveling the passages of mental and spiritual health has been my life long spiral.  It has sometimes been like a slide ... climbing up challenges to finally enjoy a quick glimpse of joy while sliding down, only to climb again.  Thankfully, I have also experienced the widening spiral traveling upwards.  With gained wisdom and insight, my world grew broader and my Divine became all encompassing.

 

So it is with constant monitoring that I stand vulnerable in front of life.  I can be comfortable in the pause of stillness and not be afraid.  I know that life will once again approach me on some slippery slope, but I also know that I can just be with it and let it go.

 

 



 

 



 

 

 



Absolute Awareness

 

 

 

 

Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart,

and that depends upon how much he has polished it.

Whoever has polished it more sees more -

more unseen forms become manifest to him. ~ Rumi

 

 

In trying to resolve a problem, we can wander around in a circle for any length of time before we discover an appropriate resolve.  It can  be like a labyrinth, walking and knowing there is a path waiting to lead us out of the maze.  Often times, it takes new sight to recognize the correct path.

 

Over the years, our concept of God has more than likely shifted and expanded.  When we are in personal relationship with God, we work on learning how to comfortably embrace this great unknown.   Then the next challenge seems to be learning to recognize God living within us.  We hold such terrible images of ourselves, it is difficult to believe that Divine Spirit could live in such jumbled spaces. 

 

When that is all processed, we then begin to see God inside of all things, not just ourselves.  We can honor the life of a bird or a tree or an inventive thought.  We can allow ourselves to be viewing life through the eyes of God.  We can begin to acknowledge the spark of Divinty embedded within all things.  In doing this, our lives slow down as there is much to be seen and valued.

 

As we learn to maintain a constant rapport with the Divine throughout our day, our inner light grows stronger and brighter.  We touch the lives of people around us just by extending our radiant energy.  Not only do we feel better about ourselves, we begin to feel better about others.  A greater margin for compassion is created and unique thoughts prompt us into some action no matter large or small.  Each of us has something to give which will be readily replaced by the love of God.  We will experience a life not without challenge, but a life with an absolute awareness that we are never alone.

 







 

 

Keep On Keeping On

 

 

As long as you're still alive

whatever you put your mind to

you can achieve.

You have the choice to

keep on keeping on.

 

Unknown Author

 

 

While seeking a solid spiritual core, it is easy to slip out of the tethers holding us to the strength of life.  Some of us are too grounded and forget to look for the Divine while others are so busy delving into the Divine they forget to stay connected to life itself.  Ideally, we will secure a connection with the inner and the outer in addition to what is above and so below.

 

Struggle seems to be followed by discovery which brings comfort or more understanding.  Being human, we  ride the wave of contentment consequently losing the connection.  Struggle returns, we learn some more, and appreciate the abundance of the earth.  The spiral of life continues the motion, so round and round we go.   We eventually learn to not let life be one thing or the other.  Life must be lived and tended to, just as spiritual aspects need to be nourished and strengthened.  It is not an either or choice, but a mastering of two into one.

 

When we have learned to embrace the challenges of life while in union with Spirit, things unfold more reasonably.  One doesn't wait to purchase the fire alarm after the home is burned to the ground.  We practice prevention so that we are prepared. 

 

When we build an on-going dialogue with God, communication is established before our needs arrive.  Our conversation with the Divine is like any other relationship.  It requires constant care and awareness.  When we walk through life with God's light shining brightly through us, and radiating out of us,  we can keep on keeping on.

 

 





 

 



 

 

 

 

 

Master and Earth Student

 

John Salminen, artist

 

 

"Be humble for you are made of earth.

Be noble for you are made of stars."

Author unknown

 

 

The principles to keep me strong, the guidelines to keep me safe, and the awareness to keep me connected to both the world and the Divine grow complicated and challenging.   There are so many resources available, one can be pulled in many directions.  It can be overwhelming when trying to decipher personal  truth.

 

It really doesn't matter how much knowledge we have to be a faithful earth student sent by the Divine.  The basic call to 'love' is so simple; but even when we seek deliberately, the Master is difficult to find.

 

We build our foundation through trial and error and it is not until it all comes undone that we begin to discover roads leading to where we are called to be.  This is not the case for every student, but  it does seem as though living on this earth creates challenge.

 

It is when we process our struggles, we get a glimpse of what is meant to be blessings as residents on this earth.  The veils pull back and we are embraced by all there is waiting for us.  Unfortunately, the curtain swings back into place and we wander in darkness traveling the spiral over again.

 

When we have the presence of mind to cast aside the search, to just let it all go and remain still, progress can be made.   In the stillness we come to realiz our search outside of ourselves never does work.  It is when we turn inward, and find the heart of Divine we bring the Master to the earth student, together in balance.

 

 

 



Holding Light

 

 

 

  

"There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth,

beyond the highest, the very highest heavens.

This is the light that shines in your heart."

 

Upanishads

 

 

 

Holding light is a necessity for me in order to stay grounded and mindful.  I stand on my two feet, feeling roots grow down into the crystal core of the earth.  Then I pull the light from the crystals up through my legs and ignite the kundalini energy at the base of my spine.  As energy flows upwards through my chakras, I am mentally reaching up into the Divine Light of all there is.  In attempt to integrate the Divine Light with the light from the core of Mother Earth, I pull the light existing above, down through my body.

 

The two sources of light intersect and twine together within my body.  My heart fills with radiance and this blended light is experienced in both my physical and spiritual self.  Being connected above and below, I feel the pulse of two worlds.  I am tethered and yet suspended.

Throughout my day, I repeat this practice taking as long as it takes to feel as though I am holding this light.  It calms me, secures me, and unleashes my creative desires.  I am kept mindful to walk tenderly upon the earth while at the same time, holding a light for others.  

 

 



A Smile



Undoing a Compulsion

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you feel angry towards someone and want to say something unkind,

that is all the more reason to speak kindly. If someone provokes you and

you respond with... anger, you are reinforcing anger as a part of your personality.

 

"So returning kindness for unkindness is not simply being kind to that particular person. 

You're being kinder to yourself, because you are undoing a compulsion, taking one more

step towards being free. You are turning wrath away from yourself, as well as being kind

to the other person."

 

- Eknath Easwaran,

"Words to Live By"

 

 

When someone acts out unkindly, we are often tempted to respond in the same way.  This allows the person to pull us off our center, to unbalance us, or trigger us to behave in a way that would not be our norm.  By doing this, we give our power away.

 

Whether it is a clerk in the store, a co-worker, or stranger on the street, we can always respond with a smile which reflects a more positive action.  In doing this, frequently, the other person will shake off their own mood and return a smile. 

 

Some times, we are caught in a mood and remain unaware that it is being projected out to others.  We don't realize the impact we make.  When a person around us speaks kindly to us, the contrast of our own foul mood awakens us to a better place.  So in a way, giving out smiles or small phrases of encouragement is an easy act of serving others. 

 

When we are faced with some one's anger and refrain from judgment, we not only serve a person, but also honor and respect ourselves.  Any positive interaction can elevate our own frame of mind.

 

We have all heard numerous stories of someone on a wait staff being abrupt, rude, or uncaring.  When the patron of the restaurant calmly responds, the waiter or waitress will soften and sometimes even apologize.  If we are patient, they may even respond by mentioning their bad day.  From that point forward, the service of the wait staff improves.  Both individuals involved feel better.

 

My friend Cherrie mentioned a phrase about our ego.  When we are wronged, we can apologize which does not necessarily mean we are accepting responsibility for any action.  When we apologize, we are showing that the relationship is more important than ego.

 

 



 

 



 

 

Kindled Enthusiasm

 

 

"Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.” 

 ― Hafiz

Last night I watched a movie entitled, The Magic of Belle Isle with Morgan Freeman whom I greatly admire.  The movie is probably a few years old, and I randomly chose it from my watch list.  Settled in, I was amazed that the story line was about a writer who had become an alcoholic.  The setting was dotted with quaint homes, endearing characters, and messages about having the strength to begin again.

In one of the scenes, Morgan Freeman encourages a ten year old girl to use her imagination as she seeks him out as a mentor for writing..  While looking down an empty street, he asks the child what she sees.  Frustrated, she says, "Nothing but an empty street!"  Then he asks her about what she doesn't see and she takes off like a rocket!  Filled with enthusiasm, she spins a tale of whimsy within minutes.  Mr. Freeman was so proud of her.  His guidance? "Write about what you do not see!"

In another scene, Freeman is comforting someone in tears, as tears fill his own eyes.  He says it is okay to cry. "I have arrived at some very interesting places by crying," he shares.  As these soft spoken words sink in, one can readily identify with the depth of the statement.

Although some may find this unfolding tale to be slow and uneventful, the messages stir the heart.  Just as the artist speaks their mind through a painting, so an author spills his emotions through words.  Any act comes alive when filled with love and passion.

As the child continues to pursue Mr. Freeman as her mentor, he becomes enchanted by her intrigue with writing.  She awakens within him a desire and confidence to write again.  His focus changes from adult fiction to magical children's stories and through the support of a new audience, he spreads his creative wings once again.

And to quote Hafiz once again, "Run my dear, from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings."

 

 

Reach the Other Side

 

 

"It is not trespassing

when you cross

your own boundaries."

 

Author Unknown 

 

 

Over the years, I have been blessed not only to read between the lines, but to experience visualizations.  These magical moments have inspired me, released me, and changed me.   My challenge has always been within illusions of worthlessness, separation, and the greatest of all, fear. 

 

A decade ago, I was working with a special soul as she tried to break through her limitations.  She shared her fears, we had reading assignments, entered into guided meditation, and did a lot of praying.  One day as I was preparing for her visit, I found a simple sketch in a book that seemed to reflect everything we were discussing.  There was a line drawing of a person standing on the very edge of a cliff, with one leg sticking out into nothingness.  Somehow this clicked.

 

In our session, I shared this image and immediately it seemed to turn on all kinds of understanding within her heart and mind.  She finally felt everything stored in her head.  She got it!  She understood that one must step through the illusion to reach the other side.  She knew in her heart that her faith and her trust would safely lead her beyond her own imposed boundaries.

 

She was radiant, remarking of how she felt cleansed and as though all misunderstanding had been washed down the drain.  She felt courage filling in the vacated internal spaces with a shift towards a loving attitude preparing her to stretch into a new horizon.

 

Simply put, it is not what we know, but what we do with the information we have.  It is searching through our clutter, taking time to cleanse away excess, and then utilize what remains.  We can realize our first step through illusion is not taken alone.  If we prepare ourselves with requested guidance, we will successfully reach the other side.

The First Day of The Rest of My Life

 

 

 

"Come, my friends,

'tis not too late

to seek a newer world ...

We are one equal temper of heroic hearts."

 

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

 

 

This morning I awakened to the first day of the rest of my life.  While still warm in bed, I knew all of my random reading from yesterday, and exploring of inner landscapes had finally reconnected me with the sacred heart of reason.

 

For months now, I have seen a cloud of darkness hovering near me.  Within it all of my worst fears, anxious memories, and disturbing actions clustered together looming over me.  I had dealt with each of these on separate occasion believing I had successfully eradicated the muck for good.  Now, all of it gathered together once again to test what I had learned along the painful way. 

 

The darkness descended upon me, and although I was not afraid, I was deeply discouraged to be doing battle with so many dead foes, once again.  Emotions rubbed me raw, leaving me to feel totally drained and exhausted.  I slept for days, trying to gather energy to live through betrayal, death, and rebirth.  In dream time, all signs pointed to what I already knew and the necessity to get up, move through illusions, and finally find my way.

 

In desperation, I turned to random resources such as:  Virginia Satir, Georgia O'Keeffe, Mark Nepo, Alan Cohen, Jesus the Christ, and all things Mary.  In these writings, I looked for roadways to lead me into a healthy Divine Connection.  Roads that had been traveled before, safely advancing me on my way.

 

Alan Cohen said, "Help me remember that my inner world is where real change occurs." I knew this, but had not fully applied it. It was lodged in my brain, never reaching my heart.  Mark Nepo reminded, "... uncover that original center and how to live there once it is restored." 

 

As I began to weave spiritual beliefs together, I was reminded of how human beings cannot function by living in the spiritual world at all times.  We are here to experience down to earth living, not removed into total Divine Connection.  The equation I came up with can be used either way.  We can be under water for a given amount of time, but we need to come up for a breath.  We can master meditation obtaining spiritual dialogue, but eventually if you are human, one must be grounded to nourish the body as well. 

 

As human beings, it is not an either or situation.  It is learning balance to uplift the human experience into the light, but also to bring Divine Light down into the human existence.  Obviously, this creates the balance of body, mind, and spirit. 

 

So at the end of this dip into darkness, I realize I already know what I need to know.  It is a matter of remembering in every given moment to be a human being living with light.  It is to move through each day with the sacred heart of reason.  The obvious remedy is to relocate my thinking center from my head and into my heart.

Every Moment that Follows

 

 

 

"Either write something worth reading

or do something worth writing.

 

Benjamin Franklin

 

 

Webster's English Dictionary defines the word worth as: having value; useful; and giving satisfaction.  I do believe I have value; that I can be useful; and that I am capable of giving satisfaction.  At certain times, I might even be capable to do all three at once! 

 

I personally found these descriptive words to be rather boring causing curiosity as to why this word  worth triggers insecurities.  If we all are created equal and we are made in God's image, where's the problem?

 

How would life be different, if from the time we were conceived, our birth mother began preparing us through words of love and kindness, not fear of physical pain, financial burdens, or lack of support.  What if we were greeted at birth with anticipation as a new bud waiting to unfold?  Imagine if we were nurtured and allowed to follow our inner cadence, would we be more secure? 

 

When we were in trouble for acting out whether for attention or simple exploration, how would we be different if we were settled in to listen to music rather than be yelled at, beaten or grounded?  Suppose we were asked to write out our feelings and then to discuss them later to bring understanding from all of the family.

 

Think about the outcome if the laughter of criticism was restricted to be used only in adoration or applause for jobs done to the best of age ability.  How about a hug just for the heck of it instead of used only in good-byes?  

 

Is there any way we can all focus on the light until the glow is so bright there is no longer the illusion of duality?  If we could see our own reflection in the eyes of others, would we not want to embrace rather than raise a fist?  

 

We are all worthy, but we must strive to see our own worth above and beyond the opinions of others.  We are all love.  We must love our selves so deeply that all that remains is love for others.  Love can squeeze out hatred, greed, and oppression, to be replaced with compassion, assistance and freedom. 

 

We will recognize basic worth in each other.  Will you consciously join me? It begins with me, in this moment and every moment that follows.  I am prepared, are you?

 



Perfect Moment

 

 

 

"Writing, at its best, is a lonely life."
 

Ernest Hemingway
Nobel Acceptance Speech

 

 



 

Today I was watching several birds cramped on a small window sill, soaking up the sun. There also were birds balancing on a single vine precariously attached to the side of the house. As I was drawn into this peaceful scene, I wanted to get a picture, but in order to do so, I'd have to raise the blinds which would ultimately scare all of the birds away.  From somewhere deep inside,  I realized that this was simply a moment to enjoy, a form of communing with nature and not a photo shoot.

 

There was a time I believed I needed a particular pen or an assigned time or a special journal in order to be a creative writer.   I instigated all kinds of limitations to prevent any sort of authentic progression between the pen and the page.  My self-imposed false boundaries kept me small.

 

Random ideas float through all of our minds just waiting for us to grasp one and create an authentic expression whether in writing, painting, dance or music.  Instead of being inspired, we use our creativity to form a story of all the reasons we just can't do it right now.  Not the right clothes, not the right people, not the right tool, not the right weather, etc ... We repeatedly talk ourselves out of our own creativity.

 

We are all so busy and so disconnected from our true inner beauty, we do not take the time to unleash our passion.  Some day ... when my career takes off, when my children are born, when financial security prevails, etc ... Will we ever follow through?

 

I have learned that if I have five minutes with a cup of coffee, I can write.  If I have a full day with a computer,  I can search through resources for supporting material.  If I am surrounded by others, I can truly listen with an open heart to catch key phrases or disclosed emotions.  I no longer wait for that perfect moment, as every moment can be perfect!

 

 

 

 

Gently Shake the World

 

 

 

"In a gentle way

you can shake the world."

 

Gandhi

 

 

No matter where we wander, we are always accompanied by our lovely selves.  We can hide, ignore, avoid, and dissociate from our inner selves, but they are still very much present waiting to be recognized.  

 

Not too long ago, I accepted an opportunity offered by a woman who was completing her last requirements to become a religious Spiritual Counselor.  She was to mentor my spiritual path for eight weeks.  At our initial meeting, we seemed to connect as she explained her expectations and presented the guidelines.  I like being challenged about my spiritual beliefs and I sincerely looked forward to exploring this situation with her.

 

During the eight weeks, we created a wonderful working relationship.  She had very wonderful people skills highlighted by the ability to truly listen and feed back my comments accurately in her own words.  I always felt as though she really understood me.   

 

I listened closely to what I said, and then I would hear it back in her own interpretation, so I heard my words twice.  There were times I was amazed at how I might 'parrot' something, and when she responded, I realized I was not speaking authentically.   It came to light how many bricks in my foundation had cracked or needed new mortar.  This became a time to reconstruct a more sturdy foundation. 

 

My mentor was not nearly as liberal as I am. I knew that she did not embrace many of the beliefs that I held dearly as truths.   She never preached nor tried to alter my thinking.  She would dig deeper into conversations, as though the point was not to change me, but to understand me.

 

Although my intention from the beginning was to help her, I must share that she would often shake my world, but gently.  Without religious dogma or patriarchal hovering, my words could be flowing without censorship.  Every week she would create a safe haven for me to explore.

 

She had a small gift to share with me at our last gathering.  It was a token of thanks as neither one of us had been paid.  We were both accepting the time spent together as a love offering. I, too, had a small gift for her, but the real gift was the time we shared.

 

There was an evaluation with specific questions, I was obligated to complete.  I was to comment on her strengths and areas needing improvement.  I was over joyed to respond: 

 

My mentor was loving and kind.  She never preached

nor tried to change my mind.  She offered compassion

rather than correction and guided me through several

 of my hidden  land minds.  Although there was a structure

it was flexible with a weekly summary, and an uplifting

prayer.  She was consistently prepared to handle any

situation that spontaneously surfaced.

 

My mentor will undoubtedly receive her degree,

but she is already an exceptional Spiritual

Counselor who has truly gifted me.

 

 

It is important for us to remember that we impact the lives of many whether it is deliberate or not.  In being an authentic person, one does not instruct another to believe as told.  One encourages the other to explore and discover, to learn and understand, to love and not judge.  We can gently shake each other's world.

 



Understanding the Feminine through Mary

 

 

“It is theologically and anthropologically important

for woman to be at the center of Christianity.

Through Mary, and the other holy women,

the feminine element stands

at the heart of the Christian religion.”

― Pope Benedict XVI

 

 

Spirituality is not a religion.  Spirituality is a way one engages in life ... body, mind, and soul.  It is how we treat ourselves, others, and our world.  World religions offer magnificent reading material.  It is in and throughout history we learn of how cultures have committed horrible crimes of greed, lust, and violence in the name of their "god".   Religion has persecuted people and oppressed those they intended to save.  It has been primarily patriarchal.

 

Leaders in Christianity from its early stages has minimized the efforts of the feminine element.  As authentic ancient material is discovered and translated, there is quite a different story.  The role of the feminine is in balance with the role of the masculine. 

 

As the influence of Mary unfolds, she is accompanied by many women who were equally  as important as the men.  Christianity cannot be directly accused of diminishing the  importance of the feminine aspect; however, when religion became an organized patriarchal business, it swiftly eradicated the importance of the feminine.  It was about bias and control.

 

A few months ago, I had been reading several books about Jesus the Christ.  There really is a lot more to Jesus than what the Bible portrays.  Much has been edited and important aspects either mistranslated or omitted.  Please understand my intent is not to criticize the Bible or Christianity, but rather to exclaim, "There is so much more to the story!"

 

In my life personally and worldly, I desire a balance between masculine and feminine.  I want both to be revered and respected.  When the feminine aspects have been retrieved, and then blended with the masculine, we are offered a balance which allows a true sense of wholeness.

 

Without detracting from the masculine, broaden current information on the topic of the ancient feminine Divine.  If you happen to disagree after exploring, then at least an educated decision has been made. 

 

 

Here are some very interesting reading materials:

 

UNDER HER WINGS, The Making of a Magdalene by Nicole Christine

ANNA, The Voice of the Magdalenes, by Claire Heartsong

ANNA, Grandmother of Jesus, by Claire Heartsong

MARY'S MESSAGE OF HOPE by Annie Kirkwood

 



Highlight of the Day

 

 

 

Today is a stay at home day.  There is nothing on my agenda either social or personal.  There are hours of time stretching before me, allowing spontaneity to lead the way.  I cannot resist writing for awhile, sipping my morning brew and reading my morning inspirations. 

 

Next I am in the kitchen, being nudged by my domestic side.  Placing my apron around my waist I notice  I am still in my pajamas.  A luxury indeed! So I decide on home made potato soup, my winter favorite of hearty soups.  Tomorrow I will make my second favorite, chicken noodle. 

 

After the muffins are done and the batch of cookies cool, I shed my domesticated interests for other parts unknown.  I water my plants, trying to silently communicate a sense of nurturing and a plea for them to survive. 

 

Wandering around my home, the idea strikes me to spike up my level of energy.  I sit quietly calling in the light, filling my body from head to toe, and spilling out into the space around me.  I gently hold my hands out on either side of me, and gracefully walk through every room, cleansing it and renewing the energy.  I am left feeling light hearted and supported in my space.

 

I suppose at this point I could choose to ground myself, but I would rather meditate and bask in the altered state I have placed myself in.  Suspended in time, visualizations come and go, strengthening my connection with all there is.  Some might call this a prayerful state or a state of bliss. 

 

Nothing to do, and no where to go.  I will gently float in and out of this Divine Presence of Light.  I am more at home here than anywhere.  All else falls away, as I know this to be the highlight of my day.

Thin Ice

 

 

"To see takes time."

Georgia O'Keeffe

 

 

Throughout the holidays I noticed how very well I was controlling my emotions.  I believed that I had finally gained the appropriate balance to navigate securely through family issues either present, passed, or simply absent.  I wondered, however, why I felt a heaviness even when I had successfully reflected feelings away from me.  In time, the truth surfaced. 

 

In meditation, I sat with this unidentified heaviness, truly wanting to understand.  It took time, but eventually I began to see the root of my problem.  Once again, I found myself skating on very thin ice.  One little crack and I would find myself drowning in surfacing emotions.

 

In my endeavor to control my feelings, I saw myself successfully reflecting them when in reality I was simply repressing, suppressing, and numbing myself.  The story I told myself was that I had advanced in mastering my feelings when in reality, I just increased my ability to dissociate.

 

It is so disheartening when we cycle in and out of our lessons in life and discover we have not advanced as much as we had thought.  Maybe we have progressed on one level, but then another area pops up needing adjustment.  In time, we see through our own illusions.

 

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to take down our wall, to stand securely in the present, can really be painful.  It is a necessary practice in order to keep our feelings flowing through us instead of damming them up inside.  When we respect ourselves, it is easier to let other peoples negative projections to pass right through.  We are not as inclined to harbour what others say, as we do believe in our personal integrity.

 

I find it personally amazing to monitor how I feel at any given moment. When I  acknowledge my feelings, it is easier to deal with them head on, and then let them go.   When I am dealing with raw feelings my outlets are writing, painting with water colors, or verbally sharing my stories. By using these outlets,  the heaviness can be  released.  

 

By being more in tune with authentic feelings, I feel better in spite of the painful process.



Beyond Judgment

 

 

 

"Love is the light that dissolves

all walls between souls."

 

Paramahansa Yogananda 

 

 

When our core grows stronger and we are more comfortable in our true self, it is easier to let down the walls and embrace others. Being open and being vulnerable are two different things. It is somewhat easy to be open to other peoples ideas, intentions, and dreams, as it requires us to simply listen without filters.  I can do this and I can do this well.

 

Being vulnerable is an entirely different calling.  It invites us to stand without protection of any kind.  It requires us to be who we truly are even though we have faults, weaknesses, and negative reflections.  Vulnerable, we extend love to ourselves and others, creating a space to connect to all that is. 

 

Love is truly a light capable of leading us into and out of darkness of many shapes and forms.   Love is a form of energy that emits positive frequencies in preparation to accept all others.  Love does not mean condoning violence or abuse of any kind, but it does ask us to see through the actions without judgment and love the soul hidden inside. 

 

I once knew a senior volunteer who looked like the perfect image of a loving grandmother.  She met with a young high school student who had giant holes in his ears, tattoos, and piercings.  He approached this volunteer situation with great skepticism.  For six weeks, the grandma volunteer sat listening, nodding her head and never breaking eye contact.  The teen talked the entire hour spilling out garbage to shock the elder, but without any reaction from her, he eventually expressed deep hidden feelings.  At the end of the six weeks, the young man said this elder was the wisest woman he had ever met.   She had never said one word.

I like to think of love as air, gently floating above, below, and through us, forming an invisible sense of comfort.   It penetrates walls, it heals old wounds, and it helps us feel connected to others ... pets, nature, or friends.  Love can be a silent embrace or words unspoken. It can be gestures or acts of kindness. Sometimes love calls us to just be present to witness life.

 



Personal Contributions

 

 

 

 

"My eyes are God's eyes.

I exchange judgment for compassion

and look upon a forgiven world."

 

Alan Cohen

 

 

 

We experience life in different ways. For example, a family can experience a trauma at the exact same time with the same degree of fright. When interviewed, however, each family member has their own particular reaction. Everyone perceives situations in their own way. These experiences leave imprints on our emotional make up, which causes us to conceptualize future reactions. The reactions, therefore, to new situations may be the learned previous behavior repeating itself.

 

This leads us to the importance of authenticity.  It is important that we do not lead our lives on automatic pilot.  We need to evaluate each situation on its own merits.  We are called to act not react.  Our lives deepen when we can extract the unique importance of all the events unfolding in our lives.

 

If we discover that we are repeating a situation over and over, then we need to see if we are using the exact same response.  If so, apparently it is not working and we can create healthy change by a new way of responding. 

 

When we slow down and understand what stands present before us, we can pause in our minds for clear intervention.  What we normally do, may no longer be appropriate.  Either we may have changed or the dynamics of the situation may have changed.  Before responding, take a moment to check in with inner feelings and realities. 

 

People may not appreciate the changes in our actions, but we hold ourselves accountable.  We have choice even though some choices are not very desirable.  It is not selfish to ask, "What is best for me?"  When we alter our decisions, best case scenario would be to have a personal exchange with the parties involved.  There is no need to be defensive, but sometimes when others hear all of the facts a decision was based on, they have greater understanding ... or not.

 

Comparison once deleted, we have room to be creative and original.  We are all like spices sitting on a shelf.  We may all be spices, but each spice has its own level of impact.  In our world, we all make our unique contribution.  Once competition is removed, we are more eager to extend compassion not only to others but to ourselves as well.  With each contribution, we can surely make a healthier recipe for peace.