The Burden of Time

"Just for today, allow yourself to embrace 

all that you are every moment.  

Know that you are a vessel of light."  

Iyanla Vanzant

Documents are reflecting it is more stressful to work from home than it is to drive to and from work for day, spending 8 hours in an office or work situation.  It is said working in front of a computer at home is creating more anxiety than at work as there may not be breaks to discuss work with co-workers.

There are those who are accustomed to being at home, not venturing outside for days, but are experiencing high anxiety by being told they may not leave the home.  They may worry about their elders or grandchildren who are now impacted by this confinement.

Do we struggle with survival, claustrophobia, vulnerability or overwhelmed by those who surround us?  Are we taking the time to nurture our hearts and our souls?  Too much time may have become a burden, but it is our responsibility to use a portion for self care.  By any means one may choose whether it be yoga, gardening, walking or creativity, strengthen the connection with self.  As the inner spirit is kindled, reach out to the awaiting divinity.

Detours Might Be Blessings

"I've learned to heed the call of my heart.

I've learned that the safest path is not always the best path

and I've learned that the voice of fear is not always to be trusted."

Steve Goodier

The journey may have been long, and risks might have been taken, but the movement forward has always been necessary.  We may have been distracted by scenery or stuck knee deep in drama, but eventually an additional push propels us from our stagnant state.

When the voices of ego and fear have finally been turned down, one begins to hear the silent whispers within.  It takes time to trust what we hear and not question the seemingly new routes unfolding.  What we fear as a detour may very well be the stairs to heaven.

There are diversified paths, each offering an opportunity to stretch and grow deeper within our beings and directly to the Divine.  Our light shines brighter attracting kindred spirits and we are able to radiate uplifting light out into the world.

All The Way From The Sky

"With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures 

and some books, I live without envy."

Lope de Vega, 1562

After attending a Roman Catholic grade school I was sent to a private college-prep academy where the educational experience was exceptional, and the insights into social structures and the stressors of family pressures were overwhelming.  I found myself openly embracing diversity, while never yearning to be anyone else.

In these early years, I saw what money could buy, but also witnessed the harmful side of it as well.  It became very apparent that challenges enter all peoples lives and I knew I did not want to switch places.  My life was lacking, but I somehow believed I needed to play the cards dealt to me.

Over the years, I have been on extensive travels and periods of an enhanced life, but my comfort zone has forever been created by books, candles, and warm hearted friendships.  Simplicity offers pauses for the songs of birds, the whispering of the wind and hugs from the moon ... loving me all of the way from the sky. 

Vocabulary Word: Uncertainty

"The truth is like a dried dandelion; how suddenly

it can be whisked away, only to leave behind

gleanings of uncertainty ... "

Nanette L. Avery

Words have meant a great deal to me, some more than others.  For instance, the word truth tends to carry a weight with it, a grounded sense, a tone of validity not requiring second guessing.  It is similar to the word forever as it too has a quality of undeniable affirmation.  

Times have changed, however, and any disturbance impacts us all.  We find our lovely selves living in a culture of fear rather than faith.  We question what the truth really is while worrying about newly created restrictions lasting forever.

The truth, no matter how purely spoken, may not be truth tomorrow; while forever might abruptly end.  I am okay with this as there does not seem to be any personal choice.  My heart tries to be more present than ever before, as silence settles in.

The Deciding Message

Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth or power.

Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have

figured out how to live so that our lives matter."

Harold Kushner, 1935

It has been a challenging experience to find my lovely self.  There were layers I self applied hoping for acceptance by others, layers projected upon me by others, and then the discarding of all layers that bound rather than enhanced.

Of course I participated in groups, but not to become enmeshed.  I had hoped for the joining of diverse souls forming a whole.  Eventually, I liked who I was and was no longer afraid to use my voice.  I was comfortable in carefully sharing my truths and felt blessed to be me.

In relationship, I attracted partners that were drawn to my complex personality.  Once in union, however, I was directed to not share who I was in public ... "Let's not tell people of your passion, yearnings, and spirituality."  The deciding message seemed to be, "Just don't be you and everything will be fine."

Movement to Propel

"And we who loved the world must learn the language of absence:

days foreshortened, empty rooms, the irrevocable distance 

between the goodbye and letting go."

Joe Bolton

Today's world calls all of us into different routines.  All of us are asked to adjust schedules and divert activities away from social gatherings.  It is as though we are asked to learn a new way to deal with the space between letting go of old habits  ....  and  developing a healthier beginning.

Spring represents new growth and regeneration which we usually think of in terms of nature.  If we apply it to ourselves we will less likely become stagnant, depressed or discouraged.  Think of one singular action that would weed the overgrown lists loitering in the head.  Just one movement to propel us forward.

If we eliminate the false stories we tell ourselves and tunnel our energy into something fresh, we will be a better person for it.  If one really desires something, he or she will find a way.  It may be a minor step towards future summer time episodes, but we must begin.  We can keep it as our own secret project until it begins to take shape.  We may wobble in the beginning, but win in the end!

Ego Takes Offense

"Restriction generates yearning.

You want what you cannot have."

Portia de Rossi

The ego tends to take offense when it is confined.  It becomes very creative to succeed at removing or stretching barriers.  Our imagination can make up excuses as to why the restriction does not apply to us personally or totally reword the limitation to make it work for us not against us.

We are living in difficult times that are directly impacting our way of life.  Usually when devastation occurs, it happens in a different land, state, or city.  Today's circumstances are very personal sitting on our own doorstep.

Instead of yearning for what we don't have, we can canvass what is before us.  Ideal situations may not be present, but what is the light in the midst of the darkness.  Is it one on one times with a mate; getting to know immediate family on a new level; or surveying how far we have wandered from our personal goals?  The only thing we can change about today is how we use the 24 hours. We can brood impacting our health or we can generate kindness to lift our hopes and dreams.

Begin A New Life

"Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for your life to begin

and start making the most of the moment you are in."

Germany Kent

Life is not always predictable and if we surrender ourselves to guidance rather than following ego, we may find ourselves faced with surprises.  There is always challenge, so as soon as we learn to be flexible and aware, the smoother the ride to where we need to be.

We are all faced with adjustments at this time.  Progression into changing times can include rebellion or resentment, but when we open our perspectives to what might be gained, our life can take on new meaning.  We may not love it, but there are new things to be learned.

Broaden compassion to include others.  Open to kindness as an automatic response.  Remove attachments and view with gratitude that which surrounds the living space.  Discover the joy usually hidden by fear.  Strengthen the relationship with nature and become a beginner of a new life.

Never Too Late to Grow

"The world is full of magic things, patiently 

waiting for our senses to grow sharper."

W. B. Yeats

A professional acquaintance was sharing her frustration from the state confining her to her own home.  She had viewed lists of things to do, but she was in no mood to clean bathrooms or reorganize the attic. Diligently her work was daily completed which unfortunately gave her more time to be angry about her forced living conditions.

Then she was sadly contacted about the unexpected death of a relative.  It shocked her into stillness, as she began to realize she would not be attending the visitation nor the funeral service.  In grieving, her tears cleansed her vision and she began to realize how far she had strayed from her original self.

Ultimately, the woman turned in a dated notice at work and listed her condo.   Once unattached from a successful, but stressful career, she would be free to rediscover her authentic self.  She secured a beach side cabin where in the near future she would become reacquainted with the mysteries of life and the magical communication of nature.  

Highlight of Heart or Threat of Life

"Your eyes hide a tenderness that is more sensitive

than all the red roses of the world."

Avijeet Das

Just as the stars in the sky call for attention, the eyes of the known and unknown speak a language.  The eyes referenced as the portals to the soul, reflect  individual characteristics.  In spite of the words flowing from a person's mouth, deeper information can be sensed by observing  the movement of the eyes.

The look in a person's eyes can encourage or dismiss;  condescend or recognize; and  totally hide an agenda.  The lines around the eyes can help indicate full disclosure or hidden masks.  One may smile with the warmest of grins, accompanied by steel cold eyes.  The face readily exposes contradiction, showing aspects that are not consistent.  

Direct eye contact is key to my exchange with others.  Years ago, I momentarily gazed into the eyes of a stranger and fell into the bowels of hell.  There was also a time I glanced at a stranger and he had the most magnetic blue eyes I had ever seen.  We exchanged warm smiles as though we had known each other all of our days. Viewing an individual face can be the highlight of the heart or the threat of life.  

Nurturing as the Baseline for Beauty

"There is something incredibly beautiful about a woman,

who knows herself.   She can't break, she just falls;

but, in every fall she rises, past who she was."

Nikki Rowe

There are times we wish we had known about incidents in our lives earlier, to have been  better prepared.  I used to think such a thing, but as life unfolded, I knew that if I had been given a preview or summary, I probably would have declined the journey to earth all together.

Scabs on my elbows and bruises on my knees were nothing compared to high school embarrassment or college competitions.  Relationships were the heartbreakers and sacred revelations unearthed spoon fed falsehoods, under minding me. There was an unrecognized gain, however ... the ability to pick one's self up to begin again.

Every woman who has persevered, evolved her spirit into various depths which eventually reflected wisdom.  The blossomed woman established her own nurturing as the baseline for  providing kindness towards others.  The beauty of a woman is not singularly found on the skin, but radiating from a glow within.

Endurance, Persistence, and Regeneration

"Speak to me:  I will spend my lifetime

trying to understand you."

Kamand Kojouri

If we desire to understand someone, we have to set aside all of our personal opinions and life experiences, in order to receive a story that isn't ours.  We intend to leave comparisons and solutions out of the trusted conversation.  Our goal is to be safe place for others to share.

To be a compassionate listener, our thoughts are needed to be cleared from our mind.  We must be an open vessel where others can cry, spew, or release feelings without having to worry about things being repeated.  We all want to be heard without masking or editing parts of our experiences.

To be a secret keeper, it becomes a privilege to listen to others, not to hear a scoop, but to gain a broader understanding of the individual impact from life experiences.  The human spirit is fascinating in terms of endurance, persistence, and regeneration.  To understand a person's unique journey does not require judgment.  With an open heart, safety is offered allowing the other to be fully be present in the midst of challenge.

  

Unfolding Prayer

"It is better in prayer to have a heart without words

than words without heart."

Xavier University

Our earlier introduction to prayer may have been a child's prayer or a memorized prayer that focused on perfection of reciting rather than heartfelt experience.  A child may have even felt unworthy to approach God on one's own not having latin or biblical foundation. The priest/minister was the needed middle man.

As we grew older, we were stronger in our sense of prayer, but more than likely they were requests for freedom or gifts.  Life experiences bring us closer to prayer, many times in desperation.  The words of prayer change and become more personalized.

Eventually, our relationship with God changes dramatically and there is no hesitation to speak, share, or ramble.  We become more personal in our prayers and hopefully they broaden to include all peoples and not just one. We find our lovely selves asking for what is best not telling.  Prayers become walks in the park, yoga, meditation, or creative works of art.  As long as we are motivated through our hearts, our prayers grow more meaningful with every passing day.

Humor ... Harm or Heal

"I'm sorry, I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain."

Cassandra Clare

Sarcasm was extremely popular in college.  As my father was sarcastic by nature, I quickly gravitated towards being especially sarcastic.  It takes impeccable timing, quick thinking, and no regard as to how one may be hurt by the insensitive snap.  The laughter I received from others generated my desire to be 'funny'.  

As my emotional pain started to heal, I began to be aware of how badly my sense of humor impacted others. It became clear that sarcasm had more to do with my own bitterness and very little to do with the person I chose to be my target.  

I still tend to revert to sarcasm when I am nervous, but otherwise I find exceptional joy in being kind.  It is heart warming to see the recipient be uplifted rather than squelched.  We have the choice to use our sense of humor to harm or heal.  In today's swirling world, kindness is imperative as we try to avoid the harm.

Temptations Either Good or Bad

"Why is is that any time we speak of temptation we always speak of

temptation as something that inclines us to wrong.  We have more 

temptations to become good than we do to become bad."

Fulton J. Sheen

Words are neither good nor bad.  It is how we use our words ... the inferences, the implications, and the insinuations that can determine a negative or a positive slant.  The volume of our speech or the tone of endearment can also direct the direction of the word.

Temptation, for example, is primarily associated with the possibility of wrong doing rather than an opportunity for goodness.  Often we are tempted to say a kind word or to orchestrate a kind deed, but we quickly talk ourselves out of it.  We do not want to appear silly or be judged by our impulsive actions.

What is it that blocks us or inhibits us from taking action with temptation whether good or bad?  Is it a moral compass for the negative and an insecurity for positive?  What if we are perceiving a temptation as bad when fear is actually distorting something advantageous?  Lastly, what if our temptation to do good would really be an impairment although not our intention?  

Tempering Chaos

"Because the truth is, our reality is deeply etched

by HOW we see it, and by my limiting thoughts

habitually formed in our minds."

Tosha Silver

Sorting out thoughts in our head is probably more important these days if we are still being 'sheltered' at home.  Some of us might be isolated while others may be over run by family members.  We may be stuck in stillness or feel like we are being pulled in too many directions.

While ego is tormenting us in one ear, our monkey brain is jumping through numerous scenarios far from the truth.  Slithering thoughts of criticism added to the mix, we can easily become detached from wisdom, truth, and reality.

Every day, we need to touch base with the Divine, whatever this personally means.  Let God be present within and breathe in calm with the certainty we are never really alone. Worrying is wasted energy, but acknowledging concerns can assist with preventive health.  If we center our lovely selves daily, we will be tempering chaos appearing on our journey.

Express, Not Repress

"I've come to see that much of my confusion in life

comes from giving my attention to the next thing too soon."

Mark Nepo

There is more time these days to reflect upon my reading, writing, and dreaming.  Depending upon what I read, certain emotions pop up unexpectedly.  I am then distracted by the emotion wondering where it came from.  Why now?

In various ways, I write daily, and often get carried away on a tangent which had been intended.  It can be filled with anger and loss which obviously has been building for quite awhile.  It seems as though it bursts through like a pent up fire.

Once I tracked my dreams for seven years in a row.  This experience taught me so much about how we continuously repress experiences we do not feel like facing.  The facts may present in entirely different symbols but the significance remains the same.  Whether prompted by books, writing or dreaming, we cannot hide our feelings indefinitely.  Let feelings flow rather than be surprised by inappropriate actions.

Personally and Globally Taking Care

"Every once in awhile, people need to be in the presence of

things that are really far away."

Ian Frazier

'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' has been a well used phrase over the years.  There are numerous people or places we take for granted until they are no longer available.  Our lack of appreciation often becomes glaring only when it is too late.

There are those who have been serving us for years and it is a rare occasion for us to take a moment to compliment the server, the baker, the bus driver or the garbage man.   We don't have to be a creative genius to say, "Thank you for a job well done!"  

When our current restrictions are lifted and we are able to roam wherever we choose, let us express our gratefulness to all peoples, places, and things. As we once again feel the support of  Mother Earth  beneath our feet, let us endeavor to take better care of her ... personally and globally. 

New Definitions to Holiday

"We must adjust our plans to succeed in light

of the changes that have occurred."

Andrea Goeglein

As weeks pass by, we continue to alter our life styles, routines, and expectations. Adding the Easter holiday into the controlled chaos challenges us even farther.  There does not seem to be any shred of normalcy to the mix.

When we shake things up, totally reverse our normal actions, it seems easier to change.  Perhaps in creating the new can be more exciting than morosely comparing the past to the present.

Wherever we find ourselves, seek at least one positive interaction to save as a memory.  Young family:  Instead of decorating a festive dinner table, make a fort and eat under the table.  Teens in family:  Challenge each to dress like a favorite musician or activist.  College family:  Set up Zoom or Skype and greet those who are far away;  Retired folks:  Do something ridiculously fun to trigger memories like coloring Easter Eggs or having a Chocolate Egg hunt.  Whatever unfolds, fill the body, mind, and spirit with delight.  Be grateful for the breath we breathe.

Membership on Earth

"Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth

and compassion against injustice, lying, and greed.  If people

all over the world ... would do this, it would change the earth."

William Faulkner

Times are changing, offering opportunities to improve existence on Mother Earth.  We must endeavor  to shed what has almost destroyed our land, and implement new techniques to heal with compassion for all.  There are numerous young people creating new techniques to maintain clean water, to eliminate waste, and live equally in cleanliness.  Their discoveries and voices need to be recognized.

Change will begin with each voice.  If we do not project our ideas for others to hear, how will we come together?  Just like a jig saw puzzle, all pieces are needed to reflect the diversity on planet earth.  We can work together until each and every piece is appropriately put in place.

If we do not have any healthy ideas for change, we can explore various topics.  If reading isn't a passion, there are plenty of documentaries with easy access on computers, cell phones and television.  Listening to the educated input of others, even if we disagree, helps us to form our own thoughts.  As members of this earth, we are entitled to raise our voices and be heard.

The Ego and the Monkey Mind

"Because Time is not something to be measured with the eyes,

but by the Heart, it's never too late to go and change."

Ana Claudia Antunes

It is important to follow our first instincts, before we talk ourselves out of them.  An accident happens or a person becomes ill and we immediately think of some small act of kindness we can offer; except, we begin convincing ourselves there are plenty of family members or other neighbors that are probably on the scene.  So we back down and do nothing.

Is it our ego who speaks over our attempts of kindness?  From no where the voice says whatever you make they will throw it away or the dessert isn't fancy enough or you will simply appear to be nosey. These ridiculous statements eventually over ride our instinct to serve, to help, and to be kind.

If you like to play the piano, make healing music for your community and the world.  If you enjoy singing, use words to calm the soul.  If you don't like bringing attention to your lovely self, leave a favorite book in a public restroom.  Carry a disposable bag in your car with a toothbrush and toothpaste; granola bar; and handiwipes to be given to a homeless person.  The reaction of kindness is instinctual until our monkey mind messes with us.  A great place to start is with your self.  Be kind and then pass it on.

Slip Into The Light

"I lie to myself all the time.

But I never believe me."

S.E. Hinton

Self- criticism can trigger damage more profoundly than a bevy of nay-sayers.  We tend to face confrontation more easily than dismissing our own negative thoughts about our character or place in life.  Our ego can lead us further astray by perpetually feeding our mind with falsehoods.

If our perception of reality is always dialed back to a narrow lens, we will never see the depth of life's picture.  We will remain stuck with a smaller view which is often a fabrication as it does not reflect the larger picture.

Our emotional misperceptions bind us to limited behavior and growth.  Negative thoughts will even discolor and distort truth. We will foster illusions until we broaden our scope, recognizing and embracing the better parts of our selves.  As we escape our personal darkness and slip into the light we become aligned with authentic self compassion.

To Have The Gift of Both

"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much

as to be understood."

George Orwell, 1984

As children, we want to be loved, and exaggerate our gestures to be understood.  As adults, we also want to be loved and continue to express who we are through communication and arts.  It would seem most humans want both love and to be seen as who they truly meant to be.

For numerous years, we find our lovely selves trying to explain who we are when we are really not all that certain ourselves.  As we constantly evolve, we change and those surrounding us do not necessarily notice or accept the new parts of the self.

If we quietly sit in silence and listen to our hearts, we begin to develop a sense of self.  Then throughout the day, we can try to enhance this one distinction that we have noticed, enhancing it to be a permanent aspect.  There are situations where we are loved, but not understood; just as there are times we are understood, but not loved.  Emotionally, life can be lesser than when we do not have the gift of both.

This or Something Better

"Not every ROAD we come across in our daily life is one we have to take.

Sometimes just standing still and being, can BE the best move we ever make."

Angie Karan

Tempting opportunities present themselves, but we must know our heart to determine if this amazing offer is the best for us personally.  A gift appears, but it may not necessarily be intended for us.  We can look back over situations where we were so disappointed to not buy a house, get a promotion or find our special someone, only to later realize what a horrible mistake it would have been.

It seems there are times when we are held in place when we sense it is time to move forward.  Unexpected barriers pop up, delays or interference requires us to stand still.  It is a good time to quietly ask within, "What am I to learn?"  

Too often our ego is squelched if we get passed over for advancement, but if we broaden our scope and patiently wait, our time of glory will make a grand appearance.  A healthy mind set can be .... this or something better.  Be still and see what else passes down the road.

The Enemy Himself

"Keep quiet and the enemy 

will reveal himself."

Bangambiki Habyarimana

Possessions were lost and I was penniless.  

I wandered across your field, stumbling as I went.  

I heard you yell, but my throat was dry, 

and my voice had left me long ago.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" came the words in the night. 

 I knew if I would stop, I would fall over dead.

You fired your gun, and I fell over dead.

The Impact of Others Upon Our Life

"It doesn't cost much to show love, but it costs a fortune not to.

Lack of love is the root cause of pandemonium and unrest in the world."

Olawale Daniel

On a more personal note ...

     It is warm outside on the covered deck of my daughter's lovely home.  I sit in my favorite outdoor rocker and feel a gentle breeze calm my thoughts.  I watch neighborhood children playing with chalk and games like tag as their schools are temporarily closed.  A car pulls up and the father embraces his kids and goes inside carrying his computer so he can work from home.

     Neighbors on the other side have placed exercise equipment in the driveway as their local gym is closed, temporarily.  I watch a husband and wife  working together, clearing brush from the wooded area behind their home.  Everything appears to be so peaceful as one waves to another.

     Although I semi-settled into my little apartment in Nashville just weeks ago, moving from state to state, tornadoes passing through, and life in the world twisted by threats has challenged my perception of individuals, life, and the world as I know it.  Due to the vulnerability of my age, my family, out of love, has encouraged me to live with them until things become stable again.  Since I have had the nature of being a hermit, I am adjusting well to limitations; but I have grave concern for those who are not so fortunate.  Daily I send light, love, and prayers out into the world in hopes that healing will come to all living upon Mother Earth.

April ... New Life

"Her laughter sounded like April showers,

liked whispered secrets, 

like glass wind-chimes."

Rebecca McNutt

With the arrival of April, one begins to open windows; survey plants, and gardens; and linger in the outdoor markets displaying budding plants  We begin to imagine how we will adorn our porches and window sills.  

In April, we begin to linger out doors a little longer and become aware of the flight and song of the birds.  We might hear the laughter of children playing and the dangling movement of wind chimes.  New fragrances beckon us out of our winter daze.

April showers cleanse, nurture and invite memories to return.  To sit on a porch, listening to the rhythm of rain drops falling, is somehow comforting  and encouraging.  Thoughts become lighter and perspective broadens and we are not as reluctant to face the unfolding of life.

Digging In ....

"

"It is a time for going within, finding quiet, and getting clear on what's 

most important to us.  While at the same time, releasing our attachments

to what we cannot control and surrendering to an all-loving Universe."

Mike Dooley

They key to any forward movement is reducing fear and applying our energies towards positive movement.  We make more room for motivated progress when we clear our paths, removing debris that no longer supports  our journey.

Sit quietly and prioritize what is most important for the healthy development of a mind open for peace, calm, and service.  The soul needs to be nurtured with wisdom and right action; the body needs to be  appropriately cared for using movement and nourishment; and our minds need to be fed with positive support and kindness.  

If we can release attempts to control and embrace the concept of togetherness with respect and honor, we will rekindle friendship amongst all peoples.  Diversity will remain, but tolerance will offer each of us a place in the greater scheme of life.  We will see with clarity when to hold our tongue and when to dig in side by side.