Born to Dance



 

 

 

We are all pure perfection

desperately trying to be something

we already are.

Life is not a struggle,

life is a song and

we were born to dance.

 

Anita Krizzan

 

 

 

We experience days where everything in our personal lives seems to be aligned with the stars.  It is as though we carry personal power with the ability to create our hearts desires.  We tackle a creative project, approach the boss with a brilliant idea, or treat our family to an unexpected venture.  We feel alive and at peace with all things.

 

Unfortunately, this rush of personal power does not remain.  It appears to be a part of our cycle waxing and waning like the moon.  It slips away as silently as the moon crosses the sky.  All the more reason to be aware of these feelings when they arrive.  Recognize them as our time of strength and utilize the magical time to the best of our ability. 

 

We also experience the opposite times when we are out of sorts and nothing seems to cooperate.  We take malfunctions personally and can hear our inner critic shouting in our heads.  It is important to be aware of these times as well.  In these moments, we need to quietly nurture our self, accepting we are not at our very best.  Be gentle with the things that appear to be out of control, and remember that these times, too, shall pass.

 

In between these two stages of our personal cycle, it would be helpful to compose two lists.  One list is for the high energy day and the other for lower energy.  Jot down creative projects that keep falling to the bottom of the To Do List.  When we are aware of our high tide, we can easily select an item from our list and funnel all of our energy into achieving a particular goal.   The other list is for the low energy days.  This list contains ideas for more peaceful movements.  Maybe a trip to the library or garden store.  Catch up on a few communications waiting for responses.  Take a nap or a slow walk outside.  On these days, it is sometimes difficult to know what to do with  our listlessness.  We can easily turn to our list, picking and choosing calm but productive movements.

 

They say we were born to dance, even if our feet pat out a rhythm in an space we couldn't possibly be seen.  And perhaps this highlights a point ... we are born to dance to celebrate who we are and not who others want us to be. 

 





Time for Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leading a fear based life, certainly does not lead one to freedom.  Fear leads us into a sense of unworthiness, smallness, and perceptions of helplessness.  To lack a sense of personal power, one certainly is challenged to funnel energies into self-satisfying activities.   Without a sense of value, energy is used to meet the approval or needs of someone else.  A person becomes captive in a self-designed cave.  It takes enormous discipline, understanding, and patience to set one's self free.

 

If we catch ourselves saying, "I can't do that," or "My family needs all of my time," we are hood winking ourselves into thinking we are being honorable.  Many women believe self-nurturing is a form of self-indulgence or selfishness.  In fact, the direct opposite is true.  The better we take care of personal needs, the better partner, parent, or employee we can be.  Addressing our simple desires helps to build our immune system and distance our body from 'dis-ease'.  It reduces stress from our busy lives preventing excess wear and tear on our physical and emotional bodies. 

 

Reading a daily devotion, walking around the block, doing yoga stretches, or soaking in a warm bath are all forms of free nurturing not requiring an investment in anyone but our lovely selves.  Life is more pleasurable if we allow ourselves hopes and dreams.  Even if they never come true, daydreams accompany the present moment providing relaxation.  Actually, we cannot afford to not squeak out 15 minutes in the day as just 'me' time.  We are worth it!

 



Recall

"That's a different matter.  Images can fade.  Sounds and smells disappear from our memory.  But our heart forgets nothing.  A child's soul knows everything." 

A WELL TEMPERED HEART

Jan Phillip Sendker


When we are in our early non-verbal years, we observe the actions of those around us (including movies and TV) and we easily hear the tone of voices.  We lack, however, the understanding of intentions.  We do not readily understand harsh voices or aggressive actions.  Our observations lacking interpretation can create anxiety and fear.  Without a way to process our emotions, they can become repressed and hidden even from ourselves. 

Later in life, we can smell a fragrance that instantly reminds us of a person or place.  Maybe it is our mother's hand lotion or the scent from a grandparent's home.  We might hear a child calling for his or her mother, and we are reminded of our own children or a time when we were small. 

Within us, we carry many associations.  Some are lovely and heartfelt while others prompt unidentified uneasiness.  We might even be introduced to someone with a certain color of hair or a specific uniform that triggers a negative response. 

Automatic reactions cannot always be explained, but they are certainly based in previous experience whether as observer or participant.  We may take an immediate liking to a stranger, as they may remind us of someone we previously knew or just the opposite, feeling totally resistant for no apparent reason.

Our memories may fade, but all of our senses remember past data that can influence present behavior.  We may even catch ourselves over reacting to a situation.  "Where did that come from," we might ask ourselves. 

So the importance of this is to remember to be patient with ourselves and with others when sudden responses seem 'out of left field'.  Something has just stimulated  a recall from our heart or perhaps our soul.



Constant Companion

 

 

 

 

"May you have warm words on a cold evening,

a full moon on a dark night,

and a smooth road all the way to your door."

 

Irish Blessing

 

 

 

Many authors, such as  Elizabeth Berg, share many ideas about THE PULL OF THE MOON. I have been talking to the moon since I was a young child. It is always 'there' for me. During the day I can sense its presence and even when the sky is dark and murky, I still can feel that pull. 

 

Astrologically, I am a Moon Child but I did not learn that until much later in my life. Although I love to feel the sun shinning on my face, my longing for the moon is far greater.  Over the years, I have watched the moon cross the sky, keeping me company while I contemplated on the porch swing.  Walking in the moonlight has comforted in many places whether  at home or traveling. 

 

Besides comforting me, the moon also inspires me.  It instills hope that even though there are stages of transforming, the cycle returns again and again.  It reflects times of being just a sliver of presence and other times as a huge  harvest moon.  The moon rotates, assuring us that in spite of change, our essence remains.

 

There are so many one liners:  "I see the moon and the moon sees me," or "Good Night Mr. Moon."  The moon is in scientific research, history, geography, nursery rhymes, poems, literature and movies.  It belongs to everyone, and yet, I still think of it as personally mine ... my  constant companion!



Carving Life

 

 

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. ”

Khalil Gibran

 

 

There are many sayings regarding our hearts being broken over and over again, until they are cracked completely open. making them large enough to hold love for ourselves, our friends, our community, and our world.  These little quips always raised the question of 'why' for me.  Not 'why me,' but 'why do we have to go through the suffering?'

 

The obvious is that we learn through difficult challenges and the key is how good we are at staying in the moment, being aware, and then letting go.  We are in control of the  emotional element.  If we desire to stay stuck in the challenge, investing excess feelings, digging our selves deeper into the experience, then it is a decision we make. 

 

When we are aware of the moment and can fit the pieces together best we can, then move along, we do not remain stuck.  When we can exercise our faith, trust, and hope for better understanding, we are able to move forward.  We recognize our ability to adjust our emotional control and decide to let go.

 

Our lessons help to carve our character.  If we can choose to live life a bit more deliberately, passion grows, creating artistic strokes out of our deep rivers of sorrow.  When we finally conquer our challenge, we gain more insight about the trail we leave behind.

 

When we find emotional balance after a life altering lesson, we begin to realize that we have more compassion for others, less judgement, and better listening skills.  Gathering all of these tools that can now be used more deeply with others, we find plenty of room waiting in our heart.  We can embrace more than before and re-enter living offering an open heart for more situations and the people in them. 

 



 



Feeling Worthy

 

"Now, I have no choice but to see with your eyes,

So I am not alone, so you are not alone."

 

Yannis Ritsos

 

 

Bella is blending into my routine and my heart is filled with joy.  It is the same fullness I feel when all of the kids are at home.  It is the happiness I share when my daughter is simply present.  I have someone to take with me wherever I go and who will listen to my rambling thoughts. 

 

My life is definitely more active and  I watch out for what might harm Bella or what might cause her to go loping away.  Paying attention to her brings me outside of myself.  She keeps my view finder equipped with a wider lens than the norm. I find myself to be more grounded and aware. 

 

The process of feeling worthy has been lengthy, but determining my needs, pursuing and acting, and then patiently achieving results has been worth the emotional roller coaster ride.  I am sleeping more soundly and happier throughout my day.  I so hope Bella feels exactly the same way!

 



The First Day of Spring Brings Bella!

"My goal in life
is to be as good a person
my dog aleady thinks I am."

 ~Author Unknown


 

My daugher has a Golden Retriever who was rescued  after the tornado in Alabama a few years back.  Hannah truly is a Golden girl mix.  I keep her when asked, visit her in Nashville and she truly has a piece of my heart.  Bringing this to mind, I realized I wanted a dog of my own.  Having a visiting dog just wasn't enough.

 

So for months I searched for my dog mate.  After encouraging words from my daughter, sisters of my heart, and therapist, I visited  the Sangamon County Animal Control Center.  When I pulled in front of the building, I noticed a rather tall woman gracefully walking with a dog.  "I want one of those," my heavy heart said.

 

Once inside, I viewed rows of poor dogs in cages.  Their barks were of desperation and fear.  I felt them draining all of my energy, and I began to get overwhelmed.  Stepping into the hallway, a very nice volunteer asked if she could help.  I explained to her about my search for a companion who would be  calm and well mannered.  Most of the dogs I viewed had been marked HIGH ENERGY which is exactly what I didn't need.  I had no interest in a small dog, either.

 

This kind women said, "I think I know a dog you would like, but she is outside walking.  Let's go see her!"  As one might have guessed, there was the tall woman still walking this dog I had seen upon arrival.  She, too, was a volunteer, and Linda changed my life forever!

 

Bellas is a Red Bone Coon Hound which is a breed I know nothing about.  Luckily, Linda is affectionately referred to as 'the hound specialist' by her fellow volunteers.  She is a walking encyclopedia and hands on  experience with this particular breed.  She was kind enough to spend a few hours with me as I slowly began to bond with Bella.   This very strong girl is five years old with brown eyes that are deep pools of emotion.

 

Linda and I brought Bella back inside where we joined with other volunteers and the gentleman who actually picked Bella up.  Again, these very kind and friendly people at the Sangamon County Animal Control played with her, walked her, weighed her, cat-tested her, and she did not display any aggression or hyper activity.

 

By following the tips for transition from the volunteers, Bella has made a remarkable adjustment.  She will sit if she knows there is a treat involveed, doesn't jump up, house broken, and well mannered.  She needs to learn not to pull on her leash, but otherwise she is a good girl.  She has an extremely deep vibrational bark, which has only been heard three times ... each when someone arrived at our door. She sleeps all night long and doesn't make any demands in the morn. I love that she waits for me to fix coffee before she attends to morning business outside.    She rides well in the car, so as desired, I take her with me wherever I go.

 

Bella is blending into our home.  She is filling a yearning of mine that has been long time ignored.  She has already gifted me with the new friendship of Linda, the volunteer extraordinare!  Bella has provided both Linda and myself with a bond to establish a friendship.  Spring has arrived bringing sweet Bella with her!

 



Quandary

 

 

 

 

"Go slowly in your haste."

 

www.TUT.com

THE UNIVERSE

 

 

I have great patience with children, friends and elders, but little to no patience with my self.  I get trapped in my thoughts trying to solve what appears to be an impossible puzzle and I am growing very anxious.  When I am not immediately aware of a resolution, I doubt my self and begin again to find yet another solution. 

 

I know the lesson is right before my eyes.  I look closely as if holding a magnifying glass and then run far away to hopefully see a new perspective.  Nothing seems to resolve my quandary. 

 

There are trusted friends to support my search even though we are all aware answers are within me, waiting to be found.  It is though I am working a jigsaw puzzle with the border in place and the picture all but complete.   Just one missing piece.

 

What have I overlooked or misplaced?  Maybe I should sit still and meditate or walk getting lost in nature.  I could read hoping the answer I need will pop right off the page!  The answer is here, flailing it's arms in front of me, calling my name, and I am oblivious.

 

This morning I turned my attention to The Universe (www.tut.com) for some morning insight:

 

"Virginia, if you have to ask for 'signs,'

let this need of yours to be a 'sign'

that you should make haste very s-l-o-w-l-y."

 

 

With this direction, I allow my self to breathe again, slowly.  I realize the importance once again is to simply let go, unattached to any outcome.  It will be what it will be, regardless of my angst.  Eckhart Tolle would remind me to enjoy each present moment and let it all unfold.

 

 

 



The Human Response of Love

 

 

 

 

"... we are each our own greatest mystery,

and our life's work is to solve ourselves."

 

A WELL TEMPERED HEART

Jan ~ Philipp Sendker

 

 

 

There is nothing like a great book where one can get lost and wander in someone elses adventure.  It is an especially wonderful read if it leaves the reader feeling calm, hopeful, and at peace.

 

Some time ago, I read the book, THE ART OF HEARING HEARTBEATS by Jan~Philipp Sendker and found myself enchanted.  Now the author has extended the story into another book, A WELL TEMPERED HEART.  It has warmed my heart and touched my very soul.  

 

It is not a story of romance, but of an unexplicable love human beings can experience when we allow another to 'soothe a troubled spirit and make a loving and lovable soul.'  One of the characters shares,  "I speak of a love a love that brings sight to the blind. Of a love stronger than fear. I speak of a love that breathes meaning into life ..."

 

This sometimes harsh story is wrapped in delicate exchanges, spoken and unspoken instilling the hope that one can refine the tune of the heart.  It is a story within a story weaving a thread most anyone could weave.  It encourages us to shed our fear to discover the personal truth residing within each one of us, resulting in A WELL TEMPERED HEART.

Nine Times

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing happens by accident, they say.  We are always exactly where we need to be, we are told.  It is important to be awake to realize when we are in a learning experience.  To successfully accomplish a lesson, however, does not mean the lesson is duly noted and floated to the archives.  We seem to learn the lesson, but the Universe tends to try to sneak it by us once again.  It may be dressed a little differently, worded in an unfamiliar language, but indeed, the same lesson.

 

Sometimes we catch the lesson repeating itself, and we can laugh in recognition.  "Oh no you don't," we might exclaim as we gracefully slide through the opportunity with keen awareness.  Then there are other times we are mid-way into chaos before we realize we have royally been buffaloed once again.

 

Several months ago, I was aware that I was in the middle of a lesson.  I re-framed my actions, but not in time to avoid the disappointing results.  With every passing month, I have experienced this same lesson, adjusting my perspective, and still experiencing a dead end.  To date, I have cycled through this lesson nine times. 

 

Repeatedly, my actions, no matter how displayed, have failed to sustain the end to my yearnings.  Nine times I have been suckered in to be left feeling like a reprimanded child sent back to her room. 

 

I can recall past efforts over the years that appeared to be negative in the moment, when ultimately time would show they were blessings in disguise.  I know there is a reason for everything we experience, but the greater lesson continues to escape from me.  







Try Again

 

 

Last night, as I was sleeping,

I dreamt ~ marvelous error! ~

that I had a beehive

here inside my heart.

And the golden bees

were making white combs

and sweet honey

from my old failures."

 

Antonio Machado

 

 

Fragments from old experiences can be gathered and used to create a sense of wholeness.  Time passes bringing new understanding to our failures and disappointments.  When our wounds begin to heal, we initiate a new foundation. 

 

We grow stronger through life's challenges, preparing us for the life we truly seek.  Without monitioring dreams and understanding lessons, our passion remains unsurfaced, waiting to be kindled.  Once we breathe air into our fires, the flames of life attract what we need and our hearts remain warm with a willingness to try again.

 

The Grass Grows by Itself

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing,

Spring comes and the grass grows by itself."

Zen saying

Instead of waiting for a vacation, choose one day and wipe the slate clean.  Cancel everything; give permission to ignore all intentions; and unplug from all media.  Sleep until the eyes open on their own.  Linger in bed enjoying the nothingness of an unscheduled day.

Without getting dressed, do what a schedule normally excludes.  Sit and read; gentle yoga stretches;  juice or coffee outside; or meditate.  Leisurely bathe and get dressed in casual clothes.  Find a deli and choose a lunch to go ... fruit, sandwich, and a drink.  Take lunch to a favorite spot rarely visited.  Settle in enjoying lunch, atmosphere and the step out of time.

Travel to a favorite antique store or book store or museum or another place to get lost in.  Just wander around, losing all thoughts of restrictions.  Find the self being as a child in a toy store ... totally absorbed in the magic around you. 

Dine alone being aware of all feelings ... comfortable or uncomfortable; relaxed or awkward; and happy or distracted.   Is there a present fear of being alone or of doing nothing? 

Upon returning home, get comfy again.  Settle in and do some reading or reflecting.  How did the day turn out?  How long did it take to become comfortable without a schedule?  What was personally displayed throughout the day?

Spending a day alone can bring peace and freedom.  It can rest our bodies, relax our minds, and connect with our souls.  If not a full day, then part of a day.  Recognize the importance

This one day of nothingness can be very beneficial to the body, mind, and spirit.  Our family, our business, and our schedules will all survive in our absence.  We will not be lost or forgotten.   We will feel honored and respected while the grass grows by itself.







Becoming Human

A Perfect Blend

Robert Brown

"So there was no going back:

she had to fight for survival

among the mysteries of life.

And what human beings want

more than anything else is to

become human beings."

Clarice Lispector

AN APPRENTICESHIP

We all experience a time in life when we behave poorly and then wish we could go back and be just a little more tactful or kind.  Maybe we regret not speaking our whole truth and feel as though we have dishonored our self by abstaining from using our voice.  There are many scenarios etched in our memories that cause us to cringe at our less than human response.

These events, however, help to shape us into doing better, to be more human, to be just a little bit more true to ourselves.  They are lessons teaching us how to be careful with our thoughts, words, and deeds.  It is how we learn. 

The sad thing is many of the times we have misspoken, it really had nothing to do with the exact individual in front of us.  The person in front of us just happened to catch the heat, the fire that had been smoldering all day.  When the smoke, the fumes, and the pain could no longer be contained, it erupted on an innocent bystander.  Bewildered, they stare at us wondering what they had done wrong.  They shrink from our wrath and excuse themselves in hopes of healing the tinges from the fire.

We learn to think before we speak.  We choose our words more carefully.  We act authentically to the situation rather than reacting from unknown or unseen triggers.  It is all about paying attention and staying in the moment.  The lessons are grooming us to become better human beings.

My Own Little World

 

 

Women Who Run With the Moon

 

 

 

A very thin veil separates us from other dimensions.  In fact, when we are very connected with loved ones, we can experience communication even when we are separated.  Some call this intuition or imagination, but it truly is reality for some.

 

There is far more in our field of consciousness than we recognize.  The bonds created through love can span dimensions.  When we sense the presence of someone, we can open our selves to the experience.  We may not hear actual words, although we may mysteriously receive a message.  We may just feel enormous comfort or an outpouring of love.  Some experience what is called a "knowing" which is understanding something without conversation.  A person just knows the information they just received came from someone other than themselves.

 

When we are blessed to have kindred spirits in our lives, we often know exactly how they might respond to a situation or what their response will be before they even speak.  When we feel loved and accepted by our sisters of the heart, protective barriers are released and communication occurs on many different levels.  We can read body language to determine if they are stressed out or angry or tense.  All in one glance, we easily absorb random pieces of information about our friend. We each have little movements  labeled 'tells' that tip each other off ... like an eye or hand movement, a twitch at the corner of the eye, body position, or how we stand. 

 

Some say that I live in my own little world, and I might have to agree.  My world, however, is populated by those who know me exceptionally well as I have allowed them to enter.  They recognize my movements and accept my interpretations without needing to completely understand.  They do not judge so I am free to say whatever it is that awakens or challenges me.  There is safety, beauty, and extraordinary bliss flowing in my own little world, except there are no limitations and only inclusions.

Flying

 

 

Flying high above the world,

I leave all my cares behind;

Gliding free as an eagle,

With wings found within my mind.

I feel joy I cannot share,

With anyone except me;

Skating over vast oceans,

That only I clearly see.

There's nothing that I can't do,

While sailing throughout the sky;

Spinning or tumbling mid air,

As clouds go floating nearby.

Sometimes I feel so happy,

Dancing among, twinkling stars;

Or sliding down ice mountains,

Or seeing our Earth from Mars.

Flying high above the World,

I go beyond Heaven's moon;

Roaming where, I need to go,

In dreams that end, way, too soon.

Flying High

ABSTRACT MUSINGS

Judith LaHaie

Carving Out Solitude

May the stars carry your sadness away,

may the flowers fill your heart with beauty,

may hope forever wipe away your tears, and, above all,

may silence make you strong. ~ Chief Dan George



We don't always know where we belong.  We can sit at gatherings wondering why we are wasting our time, but not wanting to be rude, we do not leave.  A long awaited musical, movie or book finally arrives and it fails to meet our desired needs. 

When we become aware of our impatience with being present where we no longer desire to be, it is important to go within and listen to where our spirit calls us.  Carving out some solitude may be more clarifying than anything other resource. 
 

Purchase some flowers being present with their beauty.  Notice how delicate yet complicated their formation is.  Feel the petals of a flower enjoying the texture or trading energies.  Breathe in the fragrance an notice how it alters our feelings.
 

To sit in the dark watching the stars is another altering experience.  We begin to wonder about the stars which triggers other worldly or unworldly thoughts.  We become less focused on our selves and experience being a part of the larger picture.
 

Carving out solitude makes us more vibrant as we shed all that is really not important and find what has been left unattended in our heart.  We increase awareness of what we are longing for and why we are not seeking it.  We can discover what is standing in our way and what simple steps can propel us forward.
 

Freedom is experienced when we allow ourselves to change and to grow into other interests.  If we are truly bored with what used to excite, then begin a new journey to discover new delights.

I See You!

                  

 

Working in social services, I would visit a new client only after reading their lengthy history filled with every hardship imaginable encompassing drugs; alcohol; sexual, emotional, and physical abuse; homelessness; violence; etc... 

When I entered the person's space, I would always begin by saying, "Tell me about yourself.  Tell me how you got involved in all of this and how you see me helping."  Then from that conversation, I would truly see where this person's view blended and ignored reality.  Documentation is one thing, but it is best to start where the individual perceives herself to be, and so, that is where I would begin. 

Human beings long to be seen just as they are without bargaining or prostituting themselves. Many unacceptable behaviors are distress signals saying, "See me!" Unfortunately, many people seek the extreme just to get some sense of validation.

When we truly listen to one and other, looking each other in the eye, without displaying judgment, we can truly be seen.  To feel safe in the presence of someone who will not judge allows us to unfold both the good and the ugly. 

As I cross paths with anyone, I try to remember that we are all children of the Universe.  God loves all of us the same.   A Goddess encourages all of mankind.   We are the students just as we are the teachers.  We each trigger an emotional or physical  experience as an opportunity to learn. 

When I look at you,   I see creativity, abilities, originality, vulnerability, fear and passion.  I am encouraged and inspired.  I admire your diversity and determination.  I am eager to witness the story of your life as you alone know it.  I really do see you! 

Will you take the time and patience to see me? You may recognize a piece of yourself well hidden within me. We can learn from each other.

 
 

Perfect Time to Let Go

 

 

What Happens After Death?

The process is realizing that you and I exist on more than one plane of awareness simultaneously and on one plane suffering stinks, and on another plane suffering is grace.

And the question is, “Can you balance those two things in your consciousness?
Ram Dass

As a child, death was a messy affair.  The cat shred a bird to pieces or a dog got smashed by a car.  Adults talked about surgeries and death while the news on television showed guns and knives.  History books weren't much better as they related wars, bombings, and horrible destruction.

 

Our culture grooms us with ideas of death being something to fear.  Even religion teaches us very early on of the persecution of Jesus the Christ and Bible stories filled with violence.  When an elder dies, many times the young children are sectioned off from services as they are deemed not able to understand.  So  then young minds are left to imagine why great uncle Ernie went "pfft" in the sky.

 

When we personally experience death and emotion overwhelms, it is challenging to find appropriate words to give meaning to the end of life; and yet all things die.  We are never really prepared to let a loved one die.  There is also an undeserved harshness to ourselves if we adjust and begin to move on with this challenge of living, forgetting even for a brief time our loss.

 

I never understood the Native American saying, "It is a good day to die," until the last few years.   Nature brings us a day that is picture perfect, we experience oneness with all things, and we feel unconditionally loved all in one sequence.  Indeed, a perfect time to let go when happiness is aligned.

 

Nature repeatedly displays birth, life, and death and in many cases rebirth.  The seasons also demonstrate a cycle symbolic of life itself.  The sun comes up and the sun goes down just as the moon continues to float across the sky.  The Supreme Power ... who ever we deem that to be, he or she, goddess or god, universe or galactic being, ... takes such implicit care to create each snow flake as unique, could hardly just not be involved in the crossing over.

 

The concepts of angels, runners, spiritual guides, sprites, fairies, appearances of Mother Mary, and the resurrection of Jesus the Christ surely give some foundation for the hope of a tomorrow, once out  of physical form.  Documented near death experiences surely germinate hopeful re-thinking of life after death.

 

Perhaps the true focus, all along, needs to be based on the idea of ending challenge and returning to the Creator (he or she) as a celebration.  If we can at least down play the fear aspect of death, and believe we all will be reunited through the passing of death, would we not all be more at ease.  Be happy that our loved one is at long last united and safe with all there is in spite of our selves suffering the loss as we are left behind.  To continue our converstation with those who pass, as they monitor us from the other side.

 

 

 



 

 

 



Free and Whole

 

 

"Keeping our word is the alchemy

to become free and whole."

 

Tukaram

(1608 - 1649)

 

 

While interacting with others, we quickly learn not to make promises as life often times gets in our way.  We may have the best intentions to follow through, but circumstances can dramatically change.  When we get interrupted by life, we can be resentful, judgmental or condescending to ourselves and others.,

 

Words need to be spoken carefully, either to ourselves or to others.  Our word loses power when we do not stand behind it, and yet, we must be gentle with unforeseen changes. 

 

At this moment ... in this space of time ... with the information available to me ...  I give my word.  We can feel the heaviness of this intention while fear creeps in uninvited. We may have set ourselves up for failure or self-sabotage.  We can feel enormous responsibility growing.

 

Then we can remember God's promise to always be present in our lives.  We can recall the numerous times we forgot this presence and wandered aimlessly.  When we stumbled or woke up, Spirit was waiting for us. Divine Spirit enables us to once again become free and whole.

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 



The Purpose of Being Me

 

 

 

 

During the journey home to Illinois from Florida, I had plenty of time to create a list of things to do upon returning home.  Some of the tasks were quite obvious while a few others were more vague.   The list was balanced by both chores and creative outlets.  I had truly given it considerable thought.

Now  home, I am no longer certain as to  where I have placed this list and I am not aware of any desire to find it.  The sun is shining, the temperature has warmed, and the clocks have moved forward ... all signs of approaching spring.  My mood is elevated, as well as my energy level.  Once again I feel alive! 

Winter's hibernation has been filled with wandering ideas, projections of possibilities, and road maps to orchestrations.  I gladly leave all of this behind in my cave, bolting out of the confines and into the hope of spring. 

When I can be outside, surrounded by nature my heart sings.  It is easier for me to fulfill a purpose.  I have a greater understanding of not being driven, but relaxed by the love of nature surrounding me.  There is simple joy in spotting flowers pushing themselves up through the ground, and I await their bloom.  Grass turns green and buds sprout on trees, as they awaken growth within me.  This promise of spring beckons me to proudly be me.



No Real Ending .,,

 

 

 

 

 

"There is no real ending.
It’s just the place where you stop the story.” 

 

Frank Herbert

 

 

Lake Michigan is where I learned to swim, ice skate, and appreciate the comfort of rolling waves.  Up until I went to college, going to the lake was an act of comfort.  No matter what the season, a person would always be allowed to be on the beach.  As my life continued to unfold, my habit of returning to water remained.

 

I was a strong swimmer, a life guard, and the last one out of the pool.  Floating in water, cupped in waves, removed my worries and calmed my challenged soul.  The stress was released from my body and I felt rejuvenated.  All of my rewards were physical.

 

Four summers in high school, I went on canoe trips portaging up into Canada.  It was during this time the shift in appreciation began.  Being on the water for lengths of time, sleeping in a tent, and spending silence in the midst of trees, encouraged my already established love for nature.   

 

As my focus turned more spiritual, a visit  to the sea lifted my awareness to the oneness in all things.  It encouraged the wisdom found only in solitude.  In my visits to Maui, I found the ocean to be exceptionally enchanted.  It lifted my spirit to be on St. Thomas by Megan Bay, forging all of what I knew with all of the unknown as the waves washed in and out.

Now, the month in the penthouse has swiftly passed and it is time to pack up our things and return to the reality of winter in Illinois. Transitioning is made easier by planning to stop half way home to visit again with my daughter and her wonder dog, Hannah.

I cannot say my time by the water has come to an end, as I believe I will always find myself returning to water, again and again.  Whether it is San Francisco or San Diego, I will be called to the water, continuing my love for the pounding waves.  For me, water is a large part of my life having no real ending.  For now, this is just where I stop the story.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Autism ... Understanding the View

 

 

AUTISM

A LONELY JOURNEY

Author Unknown (See below)

 

 

My childhood calls me back home again where I dwelled clearly alone,

Hid in shadows of damning wakes fearing clatter others chose to own.

My mother's side I seemed to be always, holding tightly to her,

When people gathered in our midst causing soaring worrisome blur.

Yet mostly I would find my own place whence I'd gain peaceful abide,

Building castles of fantasy's design ere lovely fairies danced 'round inside.

 

Very few entered my world wholly encompassed by silent platitude,

Tho' one at a time, I'd allow within enjoying moments in a playful mood.

Caught off guard by a word or display of hurtful bursts thrust my way,

I'd rise in ire fighting depths of suffocation releasing a stormy repay.

After challenging deeds cast wickedly, I'd lament hating what was wrought,

Not wanting to inure another's soul, thus spiraling midst abyssal thought.

 

I recall a happy day as two friends and I walked gaily together at recess,

Entwining our arms round each other's necks courting Spring's caress.

Singing and skipping joyously with me wrapped in the middle with pride,

Till my bracelet fell down one of their dresses, ending our side by side.

I couldn't claim my best bangle as mine fearing to speak for myself you see,

So, day after day, I'd pine for it in the school's lost and found repository.

 

I loved school totally and I learned thru continuous repetitious bouts,

Always working eagerly tho' struggling to fight my unending doubts.

Shyness held me back too often, as I feared being charged a stupid dunce,

Knowing my answers to questions were uttered in error more than once.

So advancement on a level of part5icipation in class was, denied to me,

But I surpassed expectations and borders passing each grade successfully.

 

School was my safety net as it lent me power to go past barriers of limit,

But not knowing when, where and how to speak showed me I was a dimwit.

In first grade once I got in trouble for blurting out when all was quiet,

Finding I was in big trouble by causing others a laughable roaring riot.

In third grade, I realized that words of poetry arouse from me penned to page,

With fourth grade giving me recognition as an artist of some, talented engage.

 

I still lived in fear of being too close not letting others near my solemn space,

Whence asked to play, attend parties, etc. oft' I'd opt out without any grace.

Fridays after lunchtime I withered alone in the school's auditorium of dark,

Whence movies and cartoons let school kids find delight with each embark.

I'd sit by myself most times, although asked to join in and be with my friends,

As sadness closed in on me, until I silently cried inside employing no amends.

 

 

 

****While visiting THE HIDDEN LANTERN a small book store in Rosemary Beach, Florida, I purchased some random books.  Later, as I was browsing through these books, I came across this testimony neatly typed on single page attached to nothing else.  It is not my story, but I felt so drawn to share it with deep respect and compassion.

International Women's Day ...

 

 

Since the year 1908, when 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights, women have fought for equality. Three years later, in 1911, the first International Women’s Day was held, and to this day, remains a national holiday in dozens of countries. March 8 is the day set aside each year for this important event. This year’s theme is Inspiring Change and encourages advocacy for women’s advancement everywhere in every way. Thousands of events are held worldwide to mark the date. Many of them are listed on the official Site - www.internationalwomensday.com.     One of the world’s most outspoken activists for women’s rights today is Arianna Huffington. She has spoken her truth in the realm of politics, literature, on the speaking circuit and the Internet, as the innovative leader and CEO of the online media giant, Huffington Post. Now, in collaboration with Mentors Channel, Arianna is presenting On Becoming Fearless,a 21 Day Meditation Journey. On Becoming Fearless, a 21 Day Meditation program, beginning Monday, March 31. This unique global and FREE opportunity is based on one of her finest works, On Becoming Fearless in Love, Work and Life. In this truly life-enhancing series, Arianna provides women from all walks of life with a roadmap for achieving fearlessness in every aspect of their lives. Her writing outlines the various ways fearlessness can radically and positively affect every woman’s living, every day. This free, online program will focus on topics such as: Approval from Within; Dealing with Divorce: The Fear of Aging: The Perfection of Imperfection, plus many more; Already our growing, global community of meditators is so excited and buzzing about stepping into pure fearlessness and passing this crucial way of living onto friends and loved ones. You have the opportunity to embrace the spirit of International Women’s Day by becoming the bold, confident and fearless woman you were created to be. Please mark your calendars and join us on Monday, March 31, for the first day of this life-transforming journey. You will be so Registration is free at: www.mentorschannel.com To your wellbeing, Mentors Channel Team

Invisible Bonds

 

 

 

"Almost any woman will tell you that

her friendships with other women

are among the most rewarding

relationships she has."

 

Carmen Renee Berry and Tamara Traeder

GIRLFRIENDS: Invisible Bonds, Enduring Ties

 

 

I have been vacationing in Florida for the last three weeks, basking in the sunshine, residing in a penthouse, and collecting sea shells.  There is nothing more mesmerizing than watching the gulf waves roll into shore.  Then again, there is regular sighting of the grace of dolphins whisking through the sea.

 

I have kept up with my writing, my reading, and other resources, but not one of these measures replace the nurturing bonds of a circle of women whom I meet once per week.  We have been meeting for seven years, experiencing crisis, joy, and wonderment.  The atmosphere created by these women is all embracing, private, and supportive.  Every week I return to this group as though I were entering the essence of my long awaited home. 

 

We create sacred space as we call in the Divine, Angels, Spiritual Guides, and anyone who is invested in our highest good.  We place names of those who are in need, communities in chaos, or those struggling with challenges into the energy of our gathering.  In the form of light our good wishes are distributed to those in need, to use as they see fit. 

 

Our circle of women generates light, for our individual selves, for others known and unknown, and for mother earth.  We sit quietly experiencing our light growing together, gaining strength, and silently filling us with calm, insight, and hope. 

 

We each have our own passion and individual intentions for our life to increase in personal or spiritual meaning.  During the week, any one of us can close our eyes and sense the energy and light of our circle.  With creative visualization we can join the invisible bonds that we have created throughout the years. 

 

Each one of us brings a different aspect to our circle.  When one person is not able to attend, their absence is always felt.  We hold them in place to complete our circle.  This is where we hold ourselves accountable for our progress or lack thereof through understanding our personal journey.   We are a witness to each others passion.  We are a presence during transformation from one experience to another.

 

This may all sound very lofty or what some might call "woo-woo", but indeed, it is what keeps me tethered to each day, every day.  This source brings better understanding to my yearnings and a greater sense of spiritual community.  It is where I experience a oneness with each person reflecting a different part of my self.  We are all mirrors to each other, nourishing and nurturing the road less traveled.

 

 



 

 

 



Wired Together

 

 

 

"For an instant, we were wired together and humming,

like two engines on the same circuit."

Donna Tartt

THE GOLDFINCH

 

 

 

 

In the Goldfinch written by Donna Tartt, I could relate to the main character.  Here are some of his thoughts:  "Was it normal to fixate on strangers in this particular vivid, fevered way?  Often I saw interesting looking people on the street and thought about them restlessly for days.   For years I turned those strangers over in my mind, wondering who they were and what their lives were like.  I was very taken by the idea that a person might notice in passing some bewitching stranger and remember her for the rest of his life."

 

I am forever reminded we are all connected in some way, shape, or form. We walk by people for years never knowing them, until later through chance meeting, discover how frequently our paths have crossed. We arrive at a scheduled event to discover a dear friend is also attending, but we never previously realized we shared the same interest.

We laugh with each other when we experience being on the same wave length. We comfort each other when we share tragedies. We sometimes relate better with total strangers than long time friends. Then there are instances when we can sit quietly with another, and still know what they are thinking.

 

The most curious to me are the people we have noticed, exchanged glances, and never seen again.  When I was in college I was driving across a bridge from Missouri into Illinois.  It was late afternoon and I noticed a woman in a nurse's uniform in the middle of the bridge.  For whatever reason, she caught my attention and I kept watching her.  She turned and looked at me as I drove by.  Her face was all red, and tears were streaming down her face.  Her body was convulsing while she sobbed.  I could not stop nor did I go back, but I wondered if she would jump or merely cry herself out. I wondered if she had experienced a death of a patient or if she was mourning the end of a relationship.  Of course I will never know, but I will always remember her.

 

Years ago, I was walking through the mall with my daughter who was an adorable toddler.  We had just been talking and were holding hands.  As I glanced away from her, there was a man dressed in a suit with a black long over coat walking in the opposite direction.  He had gray hair and magnificent blue eyes.  Although he was a distance from me, our eyes locked on each other and neither of us turned away.  In real time, I am certain it was just seconds, but those brief seconds opened to a pocket of time where I experienced unconditional love and the sense of complete bliss.  Our eyes released each other and we both smiled in some emotional recognition.  I never saw him again and somehow I knew I never would, but I was absolutely certain that we were connected in some  unearthly way.  "For an instant, we were wired together ... "