Apply the Information Wisely

Aim with your heart,

steer with your mind,

and know that it always works.

THE UNIVERSE

www.tut.com



There is a quote about God breaking our heart open again and again until we leave it open permanently.  At first read, I thought this was kind of harsh, but I have since learned navigation skills with matters concerning the heart.  Our focus ought not be on layers of protection, but on regulating our emotions.  We have no control over others, but we have absolute control of how we react to any given situation.

While exploring an old journal, I came across a relationship I had with someone.  During the first week of writing about this relationship, I was expressing red flags and reasons why I ought not invest more time and energy.  The weeks turned into months and at long last, there was a summary of why this relationship was not working that matched the previous writing in week one. 

We are expected to have a huge heart, but not to tolerate situations making us feel uncomfortable. It is ok to say, "No thank you," right at the beginning rather than getting all tangled up in emotional drama ending with intense hurt feelings.  Most often, our first response is right on target.  We somehow have the misguided thought of looking at a person in front of us and thinking, "hmmm...how can I make this relationship work?"  It really isn't about judgement, but it is about compatibility.  It is not our responsibility to teach another person how to best fit with us.  Nor is right for a person to desperately change his or her nature in an attempt to blend in with someone else.  We have the right to be our selves as long as we hurt no one. 

We can leave our heart open to others, but use our minds to explore directions.  We have no obligation to 'fix' any one else or to settle to make a relationship 'work'.  We must be certain of what we personally desire and remain present in each moment.  A healthy relationship provides comfort, respect, and love both ways.  It is in the giving and the receiving we will be nurtured and establish healthy boundaries and lasting bonds.

So unchain the heart.  Remove the barricades and layers of protection.  Dare to be vulnerable and realize our safety is within our wise decision making.  We always know the right answer, we just do not always apply the information wisely!

A Great Art



Stick it out: not by becoming a doormat, not by blindly obeying whatever command the other person gives you, but by resolutely refusing to hurt anyone no matter how much you have been hurt. It is a great art. Compassion comes with insight into the heart of life, as we see more clearly the unseen forces that drive a person into action. Ultimately, compassion extends to every creature.

Eknath Easwaran
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


There just some days we leave our homes feeling the entire world is beautiful and we are happy in our body, mind and soul.  We are fully prepared to embrace our day as we feel abundantly alive and filled with love.  Then we run into a friend or a rude sales clerk and the love is knocked right out of us, leaving us with the sensation of being deflated.  Our impulsive response is usually to strike back, but we are move evolved than that aren't we?  We do not have to condone a person's inappropriate behavior, but we don't have to take it on either.

In these situations, I believe we are called just to stay in the moment.  To be a witness in this person's life as a force of compassion can be the best thing we can do.  If we call upon our intuition we can perhaps catch a glimpse of how miserable this other individual is just by observing her energy or sense of emotion.  We don't need to do that, but it helps us remain in place just for a few minutes.  It is a matter of extending the good parts of our selves, our energy, to this person in obvious need.

When we are cut off in traffic by a dangerous move from another driver, if is easy to yell, "Idiot!"
Then we can quickly realize our error and say, "Oh, sorry."  Then think of why the person was in such a hurry.  Send them good thoughts, "Please be more careful."  It is not good for our mental health to take everything so personally. 

While standing in the midst of a group of people I knew, I felt myself fading.  I didn't need to draw attention to my lovely self, but I at least would have liked to be a part of the conversation.  I offered a nugget of information, but someone talked right over me and I could feel my self shrinking.  I was beginning in minimize my presence, turning invisible when some how I remembered to just be present and to do what I know how to do.  I stood near those who had gathered and simply sent them good thoughts, "Have a really good day.  Really enjoy the spirits of each other.  Open the heart and embrace one and other."  Tons of wonderful thoughts dashed out of my mind and into the presence of others.  I felt purposeful and good, standing in my own power.

Our Unique Story

"Our reality, as I am using this term, has four components:

The Body:  How we look and how our bodies are operating.

Thinking:  How we give meaning to incoming data.

Feelings:  Our emotions.

Behavior:  What we do or don't do.

These four parts of our lives constitute our reality from our perspective."

Pia Mellody

As we experience life, it is only as we know it.  Someone else may experience the same life as our own, but have an entirely different reaction.  Our interpretation of our personal reality adds to our uniqueness. 

We are usually aware of ourselves avoiding a mirror if we have added a few pounds.  We resist buying clothes in the next size deliberately choosing to be miserable in our outgrown attire.  If our face is looking fuller or has formed some blemishes, we will then begin to focus on our hair, not the scarred face in the mirror.  We tell our selves stories about our bodies ... my family is big boned,  exercises will hurt my back, it is too cold or too hot to walk around the block, or no one in my family has ever been athletic. 

As we think these thoughts, we have a tendency to keep them to ourselves, so no one is present to challenge us.  Left on our own, our perspective can easily increase in faulty thinking.  In some extremes, we may feel conscientious in public, thinking others are judging us with their own minds.  Yes, I believe we can become rather paranoid.

As we continue to tamper with our personal reality, our feelings stem out of these judgements.  We may begin to feel 'stupid' for not controlling our weight or we may distance our selves from others for fear their remarks will further damage our feelings of low self-esteem.    Internalizing our thoughts and feelings, we may begin to feel totally overwhelmed.

False thinking about our personal reality impacts our behaviors as well.  We begin to project a different image, hiding our fears behind our newly acquired actions of protection.  We may begin to minimize what we are doing ... oh, just this once;  he didn't really care anyway;  or it is not as though it will harm anyone.  We are reluctant to face the impact we have upon others. 

Our personal reality can become quite complex when we do not keep things honest and simple.  We do not hold our selves accountable for the personal damage we are doing.  We may say "I am not hurting any one," but the person we are hurting is our self. 

It is a good idea to maintain a reality check through journaling or creating confidence with a trusted friend.  Either way, we develop a touchstone, a way to compare or track our thinking, actions, feelings and respect for body.  We need to embrace, accept and hold our selves accountable.  We can ask ourselves, "Is this really true or is this the way I am choosing to view it?"  We have the ability to skew or misinterpret others actions to support our own personal story.  "Could her coldness be a result of my careless thoughts and actions or is she just having a bad day having nothing to do with me?"

We are the authors of our unique life.  Let us endeavor to create an authentic self by remaining aware of who we choose to be.

A Leeson from the Ants

"Life is priceless

even to an ant"

Liu Xiaobo

JUNE FOURTH ELEGIES

  

Ants do not necessarily bother me, but I just as soon not have them in my house.  When we lived out in the country with four kids, we would frequently find a trail of ants headed for the melted popsicle or spilled kool-aide.  Thankfully, I have not had to battle the ant brigade for numerous years.  The other day, however, I noticed a big black carpenter's ant crawling near my computer.  Odd.  I picked it up, and carried it outside.  Then yesterday, I noticed another large black ant crawling at eye sight on the curtain behind my computer.  That is odd.  Carried this one outside, hoping it wasn't the first one I had brought outside.  So today, when another one appeared (one per day for four days) I turned to my Ted Andrew's book, ANIMAL -SPEAK, The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small. 

The keynote for ant:  Industrious, Order, and Discipline.  Apparently, ants can teach us how to harness our energy to recreate our lives.  It teaches how to work well with others and for others, how to remain focused, without neglecting other important things.  Based on the colony of ants and individual ant behavior, rewards follow through personal effort.

This is a wonderful reminder for me.  I have a project I have not worked on for over a year.  My interest in this project has been rekindled, and I want to get back on track.  It is going to take organization and discipline to complete this labor of love.  Too often, I put off writing until I have a larger block of time or when I am feeling more energized.  These thoughts are simply excuses to cover the mask of fear or unworthiness.

I find no matter when I begin writing, my energy flows and my passion surges unless I throw up my personal roadblocks to prevent my needed accomplishments.  I  do not like to work under pressure, but doing what I love truly is not pressure.  My ego will play numerous tricks on me to become distracted which results in my feeling unproductive with my writing. 

The ants easily display the sense of concentrated activity, patience, and endurance with successful results at the end.  I have recently committed to a new discipline which will actually bring order to my day.  Like time management  I will end up with more free time without guilt every day. 

Oh, and the black carpenter ants ...  I have not seen any more since I realized what they symbolized.  Message received, loud and clear.

Dreams Illustrate

 

Dreams are illustrations...

from the book your soul is writing about you.

~ Marsha Norman

  

As a child, I had very vivid dreams, I would dream walk and  I had recurring dreams.  I had always been interested in the night time realm, and  I would frequently encourage others to talk about their own dreams, hoping to learn from their experiences as well.     Pajama parties or sleep overs were the perfect setting to obtain such information.

As I grew older, I read books about dreams and dream symbols.  My interest in dreams was never front and center so to speak, but it was always simmering on the back burner.  In college I achieved a double major in psychology and sociology.  While studying different aspects about psychology, more documentation regarding dreams came forward.  I deliberately set out to remember my dreams more accurately. 

While raising four children, there was very little time to explore inner landscapes, but numerous times when my own children and their friends would share their dreams.  I started helping them to understand what they could remember rather than be confused.  When I returned to my career, dreams became a back drop once again, but I did start recording my dreams.  For years, I created my personal dream journals.

As life unfolded, opportunities to speak about deciphering dreams became plentiful.  Joyful experiences of speaking in private homes or social clubs were readily available.  A friend of mine who was a therapist joined me in an endeavor to host a dream workshop.  The all day workshop was well attended and it was a very rewarding experience.  So rewarding, I have repeated this experience offering information, sharing many stories and giving examples for others to better understand dreams as well.

So in search of creating more opportunities to understand dreams, I have decided to offer my knowledge to others.  If you have a vivid childhood dream, recurring dream, or nightmare, please allow me to help you decipher your dream. 

Changing Cycles

When you feel happy, really happy,

it somehow seems that you've always been happy

and that you'll always be happy.

The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely,

or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared.

Something, perhaps, to remember.

THE UNIVERSE

www.tut.com 

I have my groove back on.  I am in the flow.  I can do no wrong.  Luck is looking my way.  Hooray, hooray, how long will I remain this way.  Life is ever changing and very fickle.  Happiness here one day, then gone the next.

When the sun is not out and it is raining, I automatically know that I will not be doing yard work or mowing the yard.  I have a reset button that adjusts my intentions to indoor tasks.  The opposite is true as well.  If I have plans to do indoor chores and the sun comes out, I automatically adjust my schedule by going outdoors.  It is a matter of action and perception.

Perhaps we can apply the same to our cycles with happiness and sadness.  We could pre-determine what our actions will be if it is a dreary emotional day, such as:  read a favorite book, write letters, nap, or attempt something creative and artistic.  We can acknowledge our tempered mood and adjust our environment to be less chaotic and more nurturing.  The same for happiness.  We can have predetermined tasks for good mood days, such as:  yard work, shopping for flowers, meeting a friend for coffee, walking in a park, or napping outside in nature. 

Both kinds of emotional days will then have a reward, like silence or excitement.  These intentions will help regulate our moods.  For instance, if we really like jigsaw puzzles but never take the time to work them, purchase one the next time at the store.  Tuck it away in the closet, knowing it will be a spirit lifter the next time a sad day appears.  We can build in available distractions and the hardest part is remembering to do them.

We can be more accepting of  our lovely selves when we acknowledge our position in a down cycle.  We can remember we will not always be discouraged.  By reminding our selves repeatedly that this too shall pass will help our selves to be more patient until the up cycle returns once again.

Decision Making

Whenever an answer, a solution or a creative idea is needed,

stop thinking for a moment

by focusing your attention on your inner energy field.

Become aware of the stillness.

Eckhart Tolle

Oneness With All Life 

Whenever we face a challenge, our brains usually kick in searching for resolve.  We may grow anxious during our search which immediately interferes with cognition.  We can then mix and match a few things together forming a band aid for the problem or we resource the entire problem out for someone else to solve.  

The best reaction to a challenge, is to not react at all, but to simply sit with it for a while in silence.  We hold fear and anxiety at bay as we quietly listen to wisdom or nudges we receive from within.  If a resolution does not immediately appear, then choose not to come to a decision for awhile.  Carry on with other tasks until there is time to just pause in silence once again, listening for insight.  Keep drama and unnecessary emotion at bay, while we blend our thinking with our heart to determine the best action for all involved.

Realizing some decisions need to be made immediately, there are others that can benefit from lingering thoughts.  Years ago, a friend mentioned to me that it took Jesus the Christ three days to rise from the dead.  The friend told me to give any problem three days to work itself out.  I felt this was worth trying, and I have used it numerous times throughout my life challenges.

A solution created today, may not be as good as the one made after some time has passed.  We can avoid being impulsive or  repressing our emotions as they are somewhat sitting on a back burner.  If we maintain the attitude of searching for the best calculation and not feel pressured into quick decision, we find ourselves in a very different space, thinking more clearly, after a few days have passed.  I have repeatedly found the decisions I have made after three days have been much better long term remedies for all concerned than the quick fix of three days ago.

So next time we are contemplating an appropriate answer to a problem, simply pause.  Sit with the situation in silence.  Be open to the creative options as they begin to surface. Be still allowing our energy to flow until we feel in balance with our decision.

The Longest Distance

The Longest Distance in the World Is From the Head to the Heart.

Michael J. Formica

Enlightened Living 

As human beings, we can have very analytical minds and very huge hearts, but the distance between can be well into infinity.  Somewhere in the process of development, the feelings of the heart were deemed as being weaker (and more associated with the female population) while mental capabilities were sighted as being stronger (and more associated with the male population).  As with many other things, both abilities when in balance create a wonderful human being.

There is a saying about going with our  'gut' feelings before they reach our head and we talk ourselves out of them.  Some decisions are made with the heart whereas some are made with the head, but perhaps the best is the decision tempered by both knowledge and heart.  Some will even equate mental equations with business and impact from the heart as creative, still that strength verses soft.    I personally believe that it takes great strength to be creative and analytical processing can be too extreme without compassion from the heart.  Too much analytical strength can squelch most anything or anyone instead of teaching and encouraging.  Too much creativity without the support of analytical support can aimlessly float away.

When we base our decisions with the consideration of both the head and the heart, we are fully living a compassionate life.  We don't have to actually change a well thought out decision, but we may be better off presenting our decisions from the heart.  The head and the heart are powerful contributors for guidance.  We may 'think' we need to take the job with more money, but our 'heart' may be yearning for the more diversity in the lesser paying job.  If there is a meeting between the mind and the heart, a better serving decision can be made.

There is quite a distance between the heart and the head.  The distance is filled with a lot of 'shoulds', self-imposed expectations, or career driven goals based on childhood or family directives.  There may be miles of debris between these two points, but if we persevere and navigate through these obstacles, we can finally know what are mind and heart can create together. 

If we entwine our hearts desire with our analytical perspectives we can create opportunities to fulfill our life purpose.  We don't have to live in isolation like monks, or travel to foreign countries as missionaries or be the poorest family on the block.  If we generate an excellent income, we have the choice to share our wealth with others in need. 

Humility is not to be confused with poverty any more than aid is directly exclusive to foreign countries.  I am aware of a large family who jointly agreed to eat simple meals all week without eating in restaurants or carry out foods, to save money for one week.  At the end of the week they pooled their monies from the grocery store budget, pockets, and spare change.  Then they anonymously donated it to a local family in need. 

If we get out of our own way, we can find a shortcut directly from our heart to our brain.  We can creatively and thoughtfully provide help for others as well as for ourselves.  If our personal finances are tight, we can offer our time even if it is just an hour per week.  We can help shoulder the burdens of life as a community of acceptance and compassion.  We can design our lives with heartfelt energy and creative dimensions to finally close the distance between the heart and the head.

As in the Mind, So it is in the Body

.

In order to create health daily, long before illness ensues we need to pay attention to the subtle signals from our bodies about what feels good and what doesn’t. Foggy thinking, dizziness, heart palpitations, acne, headaches, and back, stomach, and pelvic pain are a few of the common but subtle symptoms that often signal that it is time for us to let go of what we don’t want in life and start using our own power to improve things.

Christiane Northrup

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom 

This morning, I was reading a long time favorite author, Christiane Northrup.  She is a medical doctor who is very progressive in her approach to women and their health.  She has authored several books, and recently did an interview with Joan Borysenko, another admired doctor and author.  I find it comforting to read and hear these women discuss health issues, updating approaches to our health that have nothing to do with medicine itself, but the power our body holds and what we can do with it.

As women, we can realize when things are going right or wrong by our 'gut' or intuitive responses.  We all have them, but we don't always listen to them or follow up with appropriate action.  When we are feeling impacted by negativity, it is a clear sign that we are not taking the right approach or we are not headed in the correct direction or we are overlooking key signals.  Upon ignoring such promptings, we then develop a headache or nausea or anxiety.  These symptoms will fade away if we take a moment to pay attention to what are body is trying to tell us.

To keep our energy flowing, we must be paying attention to recognize the alert from our body.  When we are aware of a negative emotion, and accept it, we try to understand what is going on within us that caused this.  We try to identify what happened to cause our energy to stop freely flowing.  Is the situation coming up in our mind welcomed or is it something we want to get out of?  It is important to declare to ourselves what it is we truly want, honestly.  In this way we are making our desires very clear.  When our intentions are perfectly clear we feel more powerful and our creative energy moves back into a balanced flow.  We can acknowledge we do have power and we do have the right to choice.  The situation is always enhanced by feeling Divine Spirit supporting us in a positive direction.

The universal law of attraction allows us to attract people or situations to reflect our own thoughts and belief system.  If we are connected to a positive energy flow, we will attract positive people and pleasant learning experiences.  If we are being negative, negativity will be reflected back to us by those who surround us. 

When we embrace a higher being, and love ourselves, we will find a loving community.  We will attract like minded people and discover creative options as to how we can live our lives.  Our bodies will be healthier and our spirits will soar!

To Keep The Mind and Heart Integrated



"When the Mind and the Heart are congruent with each other, living in this sense of integration is actually very easy to do. This does not mean that there are no challenges; it simply means that the suffering is optional."               

 ~ Dr. Michael Lennox

My dear friend Nancy was filling my head this morning with all sorts of inspiring articles.  I am always amazed at how much information she has at her fingertips.  She is very knowledgeable about random websites with incredible information.  ( NanYoga-AlongthePath@blogspot.com)  So instead of being bogged down by this rainy morning, I feel very integrated and safe to be me.

 

Life is filled with challenges.  Some we eagerly embrace and succeed while others may bring us to our knees.  What is an issue for one person may not be for the next.  Change and conflict are entwined throughout our days and many dark nights, all of which are unavoidable.  We cannot eliminate the challenges in our life, but we can control the emotions we invest into any situation. 

 

Eckhart Tolle has written and lectured numerous times about controlling the pain created by our emotions.  This is based on our ability to embrace our challenge without becoming stuck in heavy emotions.  He encourages to keep our eyes on the task and move through the fear without taking on unnecessary pain.  We get to choose how long and how deeply we want to continue suffering. 

 

This is not to say that we can avoid pain completely, but it does say that we can minimize the depth of a situation by our emotional response.  When we honestly address our emotions they do not become repressed or deeply complex.  We will feel pain and sorrow, rejuvenating our spirits at our own time and place, but we will not become overwhelmed and reside in our sorrow.

 

If a friend hurts my feelings, I can respond to myself by thinking, "Wow.  They must be having a really bad day," or "She was really rude to me and I am not going to talk to her."  By personalizing the situation, by taking on responsibility for my friend, I get enmeshed in additional emotion.  I may even choose to gossip and tell another friend about what happened, making things even more complex.  In our minds, a small incident can become totally out of proportion.  So if I originally just gave my friend the benefit of the doubt that she was having a bad day, I could move forward easily without wasting my energy flopping around in self-pity. 

 

I realize the example above is not critical, but it is nevertheless an example of two ways of reacting to any given situation.  Another option would have been to stop our friend and say,

"Hey, you just really hurt my feelings."  This is a means of clearing up the situation immediately.  Generally, we will find that our friend misspoke and had no intention of hurting our feelings.

 

There are life challenges more severe like hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, and illness.  These things cannot so easily be dealt with, but we still have the choice of where we want to put our focus.  We can mourn our loss, but we still choose a response.  We can choose to fall into fear paralysed or we can begin to make a positive plan out of what little we may have remaining.  Our personal energy is a force and is best used when maintained in one healthy direction rather than fragmented into emotional concerns. 

 

Although I have not mastered this entirely,  I do have numerous opportunities to keep my heart and mind integrated in an attempt to move through bumps along the way.  I don't always immediately remember to keep my self congruent, but I am getting better at catching my emotional behavior before it wanders into the depths of depression or fear. 

 

The best setting for me is reflected in the picture above.  I don't want to travel on a super highway,  I want to stay in the middle of the less traveled road.  I want to have nature on either side of me with the beautiful heavens above.  I desire to hear birds singing and follow my path until I come to a stream with rocks to sit upon.  As night falls, I will place a full moon in the sky and sprinkle tiny stars for all to see.   There will be a circle of fire gathering sisters and friends,

a safe place for stories and me.

 

 

 

 

Under Construction

Today, I salute myself as a work in progress,

recognizing both the long road traveled

and the road still ahead.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS 

Life can be so conflicted, moving in and out of positive and negative cycles.  One day we may feel indestructible and all knowing.   Within days or even over night we may feel as though we have been depleted with nothing to offer anyone.   On one occasion we may feel beautiful and radiant followed by several occasions where we feel fat and ugly.  The under current of life can churn our emotions into thick and heavy thoughts distorting our view or it can float us merrily down a stream.  Our life suits, indeed, must be designed accordingly. 

Planning ahead does not support us in life as much as our ability to be in the moment, to be present to others, and to be able to go where we are called.  We can have the best intentions, but life often times pulls us into opposite directions, onto other paths, and into unexpected arenas.  If we can truly accept our gifts and talents and remain in physical and spiritual alignment, we can gracefully face any day or any situation. 

There was a summer I went on a sabbatical.  I sat on my front porch reading, napping, and writing.  One night I sat in the porch swing and watched the full moon travel across the star filled sky.  Yes, it took hours.  I felt a total sense of completion and contentment. 

The next day I had lunch with friends.  They intentionally questioned me about what I was doing and what I had accomplished.  As they drilled me with questions, I anxiously realized I could not account for my time.  There was nothing I could produce or label as proof that I had  kept myself profitably busy.    My self-esteem quickly liquidated and slid away.  I truly felt unworthy having nothing physical to show for my time well spent.

When I returned home, I settled into the front porch swing.  I pulled out my journal and not only read but listened with my heart to my words.  I felt myself filling back up with peace and calm.  I was expanding in ways that could not be expressed in dollars and cents nor degrees and certificates.  I was mentally following a spiritual path, leading me to self-discovery and to my authentic self.

From that point forward, whenever someone asked me what I had been doing, I simply told them, "I am under construction!"  I wouldn't necessarily bother to try to explain, as I felt confident with my reply.  I was proud of my new additions and deep inside knew rejuvenating my inner dwelling was going to take quite some time.

You Can't Hide ...

“One thing you can't hide -

is when you're crippled inside.”

                                                                    John Lennon



We have a tendency to hide when things go wrong.   A coping skill is to withdraw, to hide until we can be better balanced.  We can wear masks and even costumes to distract those surrounding us, as we fear the real 'self' might be discovered. 

Sometimes we think we are masters of disguise when in reality, the people we have chosen to surround us may not really care.  They may notice we are somewhat altered, but if they indeed are not kindred spirits, they may ignore us anyway.  Most the time when we think we are playing our best performance, people who truly care see right through it.

We must choose our friends wisely, finding a balance and harmony.  When we depart from a friend we are thankful for the time just shared.  We do not feel drained or depleted.  We know our friend will openly listen to us without overreacting or passing the information on to others. 

We feel better about our selves when we realize everyone has something they feel they need to hide.  We all have negative factors we need to overcome or improve upon.  There are times when we feel a part of our self is ugly or distorted, but it may be a total illusion of our own personal judgment.  We learn to embrace other peoples imperfection, faster than our own.  

When some of us were children, we were told we were sinners and would always be sinners ... quite a burden for a child to carry.  So years of learning need to unfold to alleviate false impressions of shame or guilt.  In order to be whole, we must not hide.

We are all just a bunch of frogs

wanting to be loved

warts and all!

Edge of the World

I think that half of us feel fraudulant in our lives anyway.  There's that strange connection of not really knowing what we're doing sometimes, or why it matters.  It's our existential crisis.

Carrie Brownstein  

A few days ago, I purchased a note card from  Tree of Life Artworks.  These artists primarily use scrimshaw as their medium, and I have several pieces of their artistic work.  I came across their first attempt at note cards.  There were four patterns, but I was immediately drawn to a card with a tree, the moon and stars.  I was not certain as to why it jumped out at me, but the inscription at the bottom read:  "Somewhere near the edge of the world, Trees drip with stars." 

In contemplation, I brought the image of the note card to the front of my mind.  There were numerous thick and distorted roots reaching into rich black soil.  As I imagined them moving down into the earth, my understanding expanded.  Human beings need a root system, not just one root designated for faith.  Self-esteem and worthiness also form strength to keep us upright and strong.  Friends, teachers and mentors become part of our healthy roots as well.  Exercise and appropriate eating establish additional roots.  Multiple roots spiraling into Mother Earth are conduits for energy, both giving and receiving. 

Mentally focusing on the note card once again, my vision moved up the tree.  I examined the gnarly bark, the loss of limbs, and even some decay.  The root system was so vibrant, however, I could see the energy floating in  the tree.  The tree displayed the twists and turns of many life times, enduring unexpected changes.  There is a need to be aware of issues, but not to use energy in personalizing them.  Use energy to resolve them, no matter where they originated or in which life time. 

Breathing deeply, my eyes followed the tree limbs reaching up towards the sky.  The tips of the branches were extending themselves pulling energy from the heavens.  The energy sped down the trunk of the tree and became enmeshed with the energy coming up  from the earth, bringing balance and harmony.  I clearly embraced the strength of this tree as it was a vessel between the earth and the sky.  If I am deeply rooted into Mother Nature and if I reach up into the wisdom floating in the clouds, how tall I will stand in this energy flow.

In the background is the moon giving great meaning to me.  It has been a listening companion for me throughout the years.  I find the presence of the moon to be calming, and it initiates hope, acceptance, and inspiration.  It also offers the Lunar Cycle still observed by many to this day.

At last glance, I view the trees dripping with stars.  Stars remind me of the magic in life we seem to overlook as we grow older.   When we are in balance with what is above and that which is below, we are strong  enough to open our senses to the magic in life.  We once again become vulnerable and creative to wish upon a star.   

All I am and all I am meant to be has been reflected in this contemplation.  I have visited my most favorite things:  the tree, the moon, and the stars  ...  somewhere near the edge of the world.

Best Friend

“I want to love you without clutching,

appreciate you without judging,

join you without invading,

 invite you without demanding,

leave you without guilt,

criticize you without blaming,

and help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you,

then we can truly meet and enrich each other.”

Virginia Satir 

Relationships are sometimes considered to be the most challenging lessons in life, and also the most rewarding.  We learn through our relationships and all such unions require attention, respect, and honesty.  For whatever reason, we expect partnerships to be easy.  So easy we are tempted to veer from appreciation and gratitude for the gift it brings.

While attending a workshop, the audience was asked to list all of the good qualities a friend needed to have in order to be a favorite.  I remember having no trouble whatsoever with this list.  Qualities and characteristics flew out of my brain and straight out of my pen.  The list grew longer and longer as I wrote just as fast I could.  "Time is up," the instructor announced.  I gazed through my mighty list, proud of my expectations.

The instructor then asked us to neatly fold the paper, and so we did.  Then she told us to hand deliver this masterpiece to our very selves, taking note of our reaction.  I unfolded my paper and immediately thought, "No way," as I pondered the lengthy list.  I was overwhelmed by my righteous expectations.  I then began to consider what I would be willing to give in return.  This too surprised me as my reaction was quite miserly. 

Our matches may have been made in heaven, but I wonder if we were programed with additional resilience, determination, and endless patience.  I would guess not.  No matter how good a relationship may be, there is always room for improvement.  The bottom line, I believe,  is the ability and the degree to which a person can trust. 

Loving a person isn't enough unless we are able to do all of what Virginia Satir suggests.  We will easily become undermined if we love, but do not experience a balance of give and take.  Once resentment grows and we do not use our voice, our feelings are repressed coiling into anger.  If we do not face our anxiety our dreams can turn into nightmares.  Unfortunately, what we repress is not forgotten by the body.  The emotions we hold inside begin to cause our body to be 'dis-eased'.  When we are struggling both mentally and physically, our spirit easily becomes broken.

The most important relationship is the one we have with our very own selves.  So when we read once again the above writing of Virginia Satir and apply it to the relationship we have with our self, how do we fare?  Do we honor our selves as respectfully as we honor others?  Will our personal actions enhance us or harm us?  We must be our own best friend.

Somewhere In The Stars

"There was a star riding through clouds one night,

and I said to the star,

'Consume me'."

Virginia Woolf

                                                                       THE WAVE   

The very first object of wonderment we may experience as a child is a star in the sky.  An awareness of a star is reinforced by the nursery rhyme "Star Light, Star Bright, First Star I see tonight" or the song, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."   We can probably remember staring at the dark night sky making a wish upon a star, throughout all stages of life.

A dark cloudless night emphasizes the twinkle in a star and shows how each one is dancing to its own rhythm.  Although stars mesmerized me throughout my childhood and teen years, I did not see a falling star until I was a senior in high school.  I was spell bound by the sight of light free falling to the earth.  My feet were firmly planted on the earth, my heart beat was racing, and in awe, I was speechless.  I captured this magic moment in my mind never to be forgotten.

Stars were always symbols to me, but I am not so certain why they were so alluring.  They seemed to be waiting for me as a connection to the  the heavens above.  Some people found an unearthly connection with angels, but for me, it was always the stars.

When my youngest son was healing from the death of his favorite uncle, I found him awake in his bed staring out at the stars.  I snuggled under the covers with him, sliding my arm around his shoulders and pulled him towards me.  We just sat together staring out the window without a word, just the comfort of silence.  Then right before I untangled my self from him, he mumbled in a sleepy voice, "Mom, I know the stars have meaning for me and the meaning  is important, but I am afraid I am starting to forget."  I have always wondered if the stars didn't have special meaning, but as many things fade in time, I believe we simply forget the magic always present in our world.

There is much to be read about the possibilities of the stars above.  Some say they are a portal to other worlds and other beings having energy of their own.  I must admit I have given deep thought to the existence of our brightly shining lights above. 

One night I found myself outside in the country, looking up at the stars and singling one out in particular.  I remember thinking, "If I could beam myself up to you right now, I could stay for a long time and when I returned to earth, my absence would have been just a blink of an eye."  I continued to stare at this singled out star, wishing to somehow beam my self up, when the star suddenly began to fall from the sky directly towards me.  I stood frozen in place watching the star spiral to the ground in a great flash.  I knew it would not hit me and I was not afraid even though I seemed to be directly in its path.  When it grew closer to the ground, I ran into the house and out the opposite door in time to watch it pass over my head and hit the earth several miles away.

Stars continue to ignite my imagination and I meditate with them more, not less.  Like others who have traveled to this earth, I have forgotten the star's original meaning, but it remains an unknown symbol to me.  I find it easy to commune with these sparklers in the sky, and as a star child, I know some day I will return to my home somewhere in the stars.

Holding a Grudge

"Perception is created and twisted

so quickly."

Louis C. K. 

 

 

My father's parents individually came to America from Sweden.  They met in Springfield, Illinois, and later moved to Chicago, Illinois, to marry and raise a family.  My father resided in Chicago for most of his life.  When my paternal grandparents passed, we found in their basement a very old upright piano made out of mahogany wood.  With a little 'spit and polish' it shined into a beautiful keep sake.  My older sister began piano lessons in her early grade school years, continuing well into high school.  Many years later, when my daughter was in second grade, we brought the old antique piano to our home.  She began lessons immediately and played well into high school. 

It was no surprise when numerous years passed,  my granddaughter then kindergarten age, took special interest in playing the piano.  She loved my daughter and watched her play the piano numerous times. One day, my granddaughter opened the piano bench and rifled through the sheet music as though she were searching for a particular piece.  She finally withdrew one, and gently placed it right where it belonged and lovingly opened the sheets.  She delicately placed her fingers upon the piano keys and began to play, turning pages as she went.  This beautiful child had never had any lessons and when she played it was very obvious she had not had any instruction whatsoever.

In spite of her inability to play, she never hammered upon the keys or disrespected the piano in any way.  She would routinely choose her music from the bench, and then spend indefinite time gently playing random keys and timely turning pages.  The family quickly learned the child would be offended if we laughed or teased, so she was always left to her odyssey.   She continued doing this for years.

When my daughter married, she requested to have the piano in her home.  I knew it would always go to her, but how would I explain the removal to my granddaughter?  It had to be done.  So the next time my granddaughter visited, I explained to her the piano was going to go to its rightful owner, my daughter. 

Shock registered on her face as she sat on the piano bench absorbing this devastating news.  I watched her desperately searching for a response.  Finally she turned her big blue eyes towards me and asked, "Ummmm, could we just give her the bench?"

My granddaughter is many years wiser now and she would be horribly embarrassed by being named in this story; however, it is one of my favorites.   My daughter still plays the old piano and I do believe my granddaughter still holds a grudge!

Setting Intentions

Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.

Isolation is what you crave when

you neglect the first.

Wayne Cordeiro

Leading on Empty

In mid December, I was mildly aware of a need to withdraw.  Considering my self to be an extroverted/hermit, I was not necessarily concerned.  My desire to be alone continued to grow well into the next year.  I continued to feel a deep need to be isolated.  The thought of being alone truly resonated with me, and yet a part of me questioned why I was having this behavior.  My concern about what I was deliberately doing grew, but I honored my decision to remain in isolation.

I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, and maintained my writing and reading, otherwise isolated.  Then one day some words jumped off the page as I quietly read:  "Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.  Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first."  These words by Wayne Cordeiro struck a nerve deep down within me.

As I looked back through my journal, I found my original longing for a deeper soul connection.  Instead of seeking solitude to soul search, I chose isolation which I seemed to crave.   Even though my sense of connection stretched quite thin, I remained rigid in pursuit of what I thought I needed. 

While in isolation, I was not feeding my soul.  I was not shoring my self up, but rather disintegrating.  Although well intended, my actions took me in the opposite direction from where I originally wanted to be.  Isolation felt  cold and lonely,  with waves of separation.  Instead of growing closer to all that is, I was falling down the rabbit hole.

Solitude really is different from isolation.  Isolation is being cut off from everything as all healthy systems shut down.  Solitude is deliberately selected with the purpose of opening up to learn more.  Listen to both of these words ... isolation and solitude ... as even their pronunciations indicate the cold in one and  comfort in the other.

Once I realized the error with my intention, I quickly set out to revamp my actions.  I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, maintaining my reading and writing while carving out time for solitude.  Within this solitude, I opened my heart with the intention to deeply grow. 

Leaving isolation behind, I reached out to sisters of my heart for  insight to later be explored during my solitude.  Being still by my self during this designated time generated inspiration and understanding.  In this time of solitude, I was able to stretch and grow ... my original yearning.

We must be careful when setting intentions as the Universe truly desires to meet our requests.  I had set my sails for isolation and that is exactly what I had received.  Even while I had been sensing I was not entirely on target, I had kept my sails billowing in the wind.  I had remained determined and rigid.   Had I simply allowed my intention to bend, I could have gone with the flow instead of against it.

In solitude, I  now sit amongst the stars and nap by the sun, while refining my soul.  Another lesson learned ... at least this time around!

Crossing Bridges

"After having been applauded

for busy-ness and productivity,

there is guilt about stillness."

Gay Luce 

 We cross many bridges during our lives (from child to adult, student to teacher, single to wife, wife to mother, mother to grandmother, novice to master, business to retirement) as we transition from one phase to another.  Some do cross gracefully whereas others may go kicking and screaming.   It would be accurate to say whether we welcome crossing the bridge or not, and adjustment is always a part of the transition. 

As in many situations, a forthcoming transition can create anxiety.  Even though we may be eager to move forward the transition is taking us out of our comfort zone into the unknown.  We may grow concerned of losing power or position in the world.  We may no longer be recognized by a certain label we have been displaying for years.  Especially when the work role is removed, we grow concerned about usefulness.

Many of us have been trained to see our selves as what we do for a living, and when we disengage we have a sense of uselessness.  In retirement, many will throw themselves into activities without discretion in order to fill in the empty blanks.  When faced with unexpected quiet or stillness, we need to take our time in learning how to embrace just 'being'.

When we do not learn to let go of fear and to embrace the unknown, we create a very rigid life style for our selves.  We do not experience any variance in our lives as we stick to our script.  So when we retire or physical ailments curtail our busy-ness, we are at a loss as to what to do.  Self-image or ego can become damaged by the sudden void which seemingly offers nothing for us to do.

The need to create a purpose surfaces.  Some fill it with extensive travel, volunteering, hobbies or avocations which become just as rigid as the earlier life style.  Underneath this need to be constant movement, we find the fear of dealing with our feelings.  We stay active disallowing our true nature to surface.  We will go to great depths to avoid what we have repressed.  For many, the act of being still is riddled with anxiety.

For those who are curious about this pause in time,  they find themselves exploring their fears.  They discover prejudices, misconceptions, or our culture's need for materialism.  When we begin to shed the many layers neatly stacked one upon the other, we can discard what we no longer need and feel freedom.  Whether on sabbatical or permanently leaving employment, many experience a huge relief.

It is in this stillness we learn to channel our energies into new aspects of life bringing deeper meaning to this physical experience.  We shift our thoughts to the earth, to the next generation, to compassion, and to meditation or prayer.  When we sit in the stillness we begin to experience our authentic self and a voice gently encourages us to be of service to our inner self and the outer world.  Our identity is no longer found in a career definition, but in our true nature as role model, gardener, painter, volunteer, writer or mother of a heartfelt cause. 

There is work to be done, yes; but the heart felt application comes only after one becomes comfortable in being still.  It is in this very stillness that direction is received, leading us to our highest nature.  By just 'being', we begin to resonate with the rhythms of the Universe, inspiring us to be empathetic human beings.  We then bring our love for life as service to our fellow human beings, to the world, and to all that breathes. 

If we pay attention to the stillness now, we can navigate life in a more meaningful way.  Do not wait for this understanding to come until we are crossing the last bridge of our life.

Some Sort of Symbol

If you truly hold a stone,

you can feel the mountain

it came from.

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

When I was a little girl, I was always collecting stones.  There were never any two alike.  In the summer, I especially liked to hold a stone in my hand and feel the energy stored from the sun.  I   had an old cigar box to keep my treasures safe. 

My cigar box is long gone, but my habit of collecting stones continues.  I have some from Maui, Sedona, Key West, and Boulder Junction.  Some are from farms, fields, oceans, rivers, and neighborhood walks.  The stones are all different shades of color and a variety of shapes. 

My one time favorite I discovered on the ground at a market in a small village in Mexico.  It was shaped exactly like a heart.  There is a huge boulder in Wisconsin that I sat on during the summers.  I would read, watch my children play, and day dream.  When I still had the statue of Hebe in the yard, I would come home and place my new rocks around her feet.   Enjoying a feminine vortex near a river bed, I was overwhelmed to come around a bend and see thousands of rocks piled singularly one upon another, reaching towards the sky.  I was even more surprised years later  to discover the very same scene along the ocean.

I believe stones must be some sort of symbol for me.   Perhaps I feel the energy within them and the shared energy grounds me to this earth.  I associate them with medicine wheels or sweat lodges I have helped to build.  I have used stones to form energy grids or to experience them as a hot rock massage.  I can hold river rocks and hear the water flowing. 

For whatever reason, I respect rocks just as much as flowers or birds.  Before I have ever removed a stone from its nesting place, I always ask permission to carry it away and thank the earth for its gift.  The earth does not belong to us, we belong to it.  And as temporary residents, we need to care for it in a more respectful and honorable way.

In the Silence

Silence is a fence around wisdom

German Proverb 

Silence can be found in isolation, but it can also be maintained in the presence of  chaos.  If we can quiet our mind and grow to be comfortable in the mental stillness, we can be any where or be present in any space.  We discover our teachers often times keep still when we are searching for answers.  We are aware of the knowledge the mentor retains, and yet they may remain silent when we long to hear answers.  Perhaps it is in the silence that our answers will appear.    The mentor knows we hold our answers within our own heart and spirit.

It can be good to hold our wisdom to our selves, being silent in the presence of another.  Our silence allows space for the other's inquisitive mind to explore and to put discoveries into a language.  The fence around our wisdom allows us the pleasure of not experiencing pressure to always have the appropriate answer.    We can sit in silence, content in just knowing what we hold to be true.

We can carry our silence with us, hearing the purity of the abundant sounds of nature.  In our silence, we can focus on deep breathing, experiencing subtle oneness.  When all is quiet within, we experience the lofty sense of just 'being' and not doing.  In this silence we will find our Divine in the midst of peace and calm.

Journey, Not A Destination

Nothing is taken from you
without something better
replacing it.

Sanders G. Laurie
Melvin J. Tucker
CENTERING

It seems that many people are going through a transition right now whether physical, mental or spiritual.  In order to embrace the forthcoming change, we need to make room.  This means getting rid of the old in preparation for the new.   We have behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that have seized to sustain us.  Perhaps we harbor grudges or criticisms from earlier on taking up space and weighing us down.

If we have a glass of spoiled milk, we do not pour fresh milk into the soured milk.  We throw away the old milk, clean the glass, and pour fresh milk into the glass.  The same is true with our selves.  When we release, we are letting go of things no longer serving us.  When we detach from negative emotion or dependence on  material things, we in a sense cleanse our selves so we can welcome new insight or abundance. 

Results are not always immediate.  The timing is not our own, so it may take awhile for us to notice that a shift has been made.  In hindsight, we see more clearly how things slid into place.  There are times, however, if we are alert, we can experience an 'ah-ha' moment when inspiration, insight, and wisdom overwhelm us all at once.

Measuring progress is a difficult task.  It is best to not be attached to the outcome, but to enjoy the process as it unfolds.    If we daily pay attention, we will realize how goodness arrives in very subtle ways.   In the words of Steven Tyler, "Life is a journey, not a destination."

Fruitless Race

Today, I resolve not to change myself,

but to accept myself.

Today, I seek not to repress my nature,

but express it.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS



We spend years trying to be like others, wearing the right clothes, landing the right job or joining the right organization.  All of this energy could be better invested in discovering our own authenticity.   Our fingerprints are unique just as our personality traits are  individually blended.  We are original and we must strive to fully become who we were meant to be.

Some where along the growth and development process, we finally give up the fruitless race of trying to be some one else.  We begin to focus on our own strengths and explore how they can be used to serve others in making the world a better place.

Even when we become successful in our own endeavors, we still do not  necessarily celebrate our unique abilities.  At the grocery store the other day, a woman caught her cart in a large produce wagon.  I noticed her struggling, so I walked over and said, "Here, let me help."  She immediately began apologizing for being so stupid, for not being more careful ... the tirade went on.   When the cart was finally dislodged, she gave me a huge smile and exclaimed, "You are the kindest person."  I immediately replied, "Not any kinder than you." She then immediately fell back into her tirade of berating herself.  Such a pity she was so uncomfortable with any compliment or any positive reflection of her very  lovely self.  I spoke with her a few more minutes.  I watched her almost cower as she talked and appeared to almost cringe with any kind word.  She avoided eye contact and seemed extremely awkward.  I could not help but wonder what part of life had beaten her so down. 

Some of us do not need enemies as we mentally badger our selves in spite of our goodness.  We minimize our accomplishments and become excruciatingly harsh if we miss just a step or two.  Our ego can be mean and cruel inside of our heads, leaving us devastated and depleted. 

When we become aware of the critic demeaning us, we need to turn the 'voice' off.  It is vitally important for us to be gentle and respectful with our selves.  If we do not treat our selves well, then why should any one else?  We must set an example of honoring our skills and respecting our unique place in this very large world.  There is a place of honor for everyone; really, there is plenty of room.