Decision Making

Whenever an answer, a solution or a creative idea is needed,

stop thinking for a moment

by focusing your attention on your inner energy field.

Become aware of the stillness.

Eckhart Tolle

Oneness With All Life 

Whenever we face a challenge, our brains usually kick in searching for resolve.  We may grow anxious during our search which immediately interferes with cognition.  We can then mix and match a few things together forming a band aid for the problem or we resource the entire problem out for someone else to solve.  

The best reaction to a challenge, is to not react at all, but to simply sit with it for a while in silence.  We hold fear and anxiety at bay as we quietly listen to wisdom or nudges we receive from within.  If a resolution does not immediately appear, then choose not to come to a decision for awhile.  Carry on with other tasks until there is time to just pause in silence once again, listening for insight.  Keep drama and unnecessary emotion at bay, while we blend our thinking with our heart to determine the best action for all involved.

Realizing some decisions need to be made immediately, there are others that can benefit from lingering thoughts.  Years ago, a friend mentioned to me that it took Jesus the Christ three days to rise from the dead.  The friend told me to give any problem three days to work itself out.  I felt this was worth trying, and I have used it numerous times throughout my life challenges.

A solution created today, may not be as good as the one made after some time has passed.  We can avoid being impulsive or  repressing our emotions as they are somewhat sitting on a back burner.  If we maintain the attitude of searching for the best calculation and not feel pressured into quick decision, we find ourselves in a very different space, thinking more clearly, after a few days have passed.  I have repeatedly found the decisions I have made after three days have been much better long term remedies for all concerned than the quick fix of three days ago.

So next time we are contemplating an appropriate answer to a problem, simply pause.  Sit with the situation in silence.  Be open to the creative options as they begin to surface. Be still allowing our energy to flow until we feel in balance with our decision.

Stillness Can Be A Gift

                             "Seek out a tree and let it teach you stillness."

                                                    Eckhart Tolle

(Findhorn Retreat: Stillness Amidst The World)

The art of being still accompanies practices like yoga, meditation, contemplation and simple observation.  The greatest skill is learning to quiet the mind.  Mind chatter, frequently referred to as monkey chatter, can and will distort most efforts of mind solitude.  Sometimes it is more difficult to quiet the mind in seclusion than simply 'zoning' out in the midst of life.

There is a technique which assists being still in the moment with another person.  Clear the mind of thoughts, and listen to what the other person is saying.  It helps to imagine their words filling a blank space above the head like one sees in cartoons.  Let the white cloud  fill up with the person's words.  Look at them just as they are, without bringing personal reaction to mind.  By keeping our personal beliefs or reactions to our self and opening our mind in solitude to receive the words of another, can really be challenging and insightful.

This particular practice brings a better understanding of others.  When we are totally still, we are more objective with the words of another.  It is easier to understand a different perspective without agreeing or disagreeing.  We are simply still in the moment, allowing the other person to be heard without interruption or interpretation.  Our emotions do not become conflicted or enmeshed and the opportunity for growth is fertile.

Some times our feedback is unnecessary.  A person may be seeking the opportunity to creatively express themselves without fear of judgment or challenge.  If we encourage them to continue speaking without our own personal comments, the experience can be liberating.  Again, we can agree to disagree, but it is not even necessary to express that option.  Just be still and this will be a gift ... to be a quiet witness in the space of another.

Simmer Until Boiled Dry ...

Where there is anger,

there is always pain underneath. 

Eckhart Tolle

There have been several times I have noticed the exchanges between couples prompting me to  question the balance of power in relationships.  I hope to recapture these moments to display what I mean.

    A  woman in her early sixties was standing at a check out counter of a small shop.  The husband entered (they were wearing wedding bands) and in a loud harsh voice says, "You are not buying that are you?  You'll never wear it.  You don't need it." The few customers in the store turned to the bullish man as quiet loomed in the shop.  The shop keeper sympathetically looked into the woman's eyes and asked, "How about if I take 20% off the price?"  The husband in a degrading voice looked at the wife saying, "You aren't seriously going to buy that are you?"  The customers in the shop seemed to gather closer.  The wife took a deep breath and asked the shop keeper to please wrap it up.  The husband stormed out of the shop.


     A woman sipping her drink leaned forward and lovingly said to her companion, "Are you going to keep me forever?"  The man was hesitant creating a slight pause before he responded, "Well, forever is an awfully long time."    The earlier look of love quickly turned to embarrassment.

     A woman asked a man, "Which way do you want to go?"  Curtly,  the man replied, "How about you go that way and I'll go this way.  We can meet back at the house."  The smile fell from the woman's face while the man attempted to convince her he had been only teasing.

    The sidewalks were cramped with people moving ever so slowly.  An attractive woman was bumped off the curb and a man behind her was quick to grab her arm.  "Are you okay honey?" he asked.   She jerked her arm away from him obviously angry.  She loudly yelled at him, "You do not need to take care of me.  I can take care of my self.  I don't need you at all." 

    The attractive couple shared a bottle of wine.  He was physically fit and graying around the temples of his well structured face.  She was an attractive blond with long legs stretching under the table for two, reaching out to his.  Her smiling eyes never left his face.  She encouraged him to talk and they shared laughter throughout their dinner.  There seemed to be an intimacy between them.  Then he said, "Before my wife died ... "  She responded  immediately in body language.  She pulled her tanned legs back under her chair.  She broke her loving gaze from his face and looked away.  Pretending to let a huge yawn escape from her mouth, she quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks.  As she leaned back in her chair, she crossed her arms as if they would protect her. She yawned again in attempt to fill the newly created silence between them.  He appeared to be lost in his thoughts while she seemed to notice us for the first time at the neighboring table.  "Lovely evening isn't it," she bravely said in our direction.  We politely replied as the man left to pay the bill.  She seemed to wander off the porch of Bagatelle's Restaurant out into the night.

These are all examples of anger with pain under the surface.  If we choose to ignore  anger and let  emotional pain simmer until we are emotionally boiled dry, what then?  How long does one endure degrading remarks in public, humiliation in front of others, or damaging personal insults passed off as teasing or joking.  This behavior is not exclusive to age or gender.  The basic issue is respect and honor towards our selves and  others.  It is also about appropriate communication and speaking out about inner feelings.  Unfortunately, when we exercise this kind of behavior, it can spill  over into other relationships both social and professional.

It is discouraging to observe and/or experience these types of situations.  They reflect the masks we choose to wear when we are not authentically present in the moment and not aligned with our precious selves.  They are reminders to us all to be more direct and honest so we won't boil dry.

Anything but Bland

The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.

Eckhart Tolle
THE POWER OF NOW

An empty day.  I can fill it, change it, rearrange it, or do nothing with it.  There is nothing that I am required to do.  There are no meetings, no cooking, and nothing to hold me in place.  I am clearly blessed.

Life here in Key West is anything but bland.  There is such a mixture of life styles, ethnic groups, languages, and behaviors.  It is as though I have been placed in the middle of the world and someone has taken it like a snow globe and mixed everything all together.  Perhaps this diversity reminds me of my early years growing up in Chicago, IL.  The diversity impacts perceptions, personal appearances, and behaviors.  Feeling some what anonymous in a community makes me feel more relaxed and to a certain extent allows me to feel more a part of rather than an outsider.

Creativity, imagination, and clarity of thought seems to be more prevalent to me than it is at home in the Midwest.   Perhaps being stripped of standard daily baggage, allows me to feel lighter and more free in my thinking.    Maybe it is just a matter of giving my self permission to be settled into each and every moment.

Being in the 'now' I observe the actions of others without judgment, but with wonder.  The moments are here and then gone as people pass by.  In a few more days I will be able to discern who are the visitors, locals, and strays. 

I lazily sit by the harbor watching the boats come and go.  There are pleasure boats, sailboats, racers, schooners, yachts, and house boats.  Many of the locals live out on house boats.  They motor in to work, to do laundry, to shop, to socialize and then motor back out to sleep or have their privacy.  Some commute back and forth in tiny little 'dingys'.  Others are fishermen bringing in their catch to be sold to the local restaurants.

Wandering just around the bend, maybe ten minutes away, I am greeted by lavish hotels with prime ocean front bars.  There is an entirely different segment of Key West here sipping cocktails or shopping in the high price jewelry or clothing stores.  People are tanning by the pools and their skin is no where near the condition of those at the wharf.  Their facial skin is not wind beaten with deep crevices and their hair is groomed and styled.  Although there is just as wide an age span here by the pools, the material wealth is prominent from head to toe.

Moving through the gliztz and bling, I wander to the main drag not far away which is dotted with tourist traps and bars, but unique boutiques as well.  There is a steady stream of people and once again I am lulled by the blend of accents, laughter, and bright bold colors. 

This island is only one mile long, so it is nothing to walk all the way down to the most southern tip.  There are more art galleries here and stores offering local talent creations.   Some bed and breakfasts are blended in with historical sites and the beginning of the long chain of hotels and commercialism.  In my opinion, there is not one place on this island that is not a point of interest, but I much prefer Old Town where we stay.  It is, to me, the heart of Key West taking in the old cemetary, neighborhood restaurants, unique gift shops, health food store, and stretching over to the Bahama Village where my most favorite shop thrives ... Besame Mucho!  Blue Heaven a long established local restaurant (some indoor seating) is here as well offering excellent meals throughout the day. 

I believe it is now time to work my way back to the solitude of our temporary little home, take a dip in the pool, and settle in for a nap on the covered back porch!   I always welcome dream time!

Ascending ...

  

Give up defining yourself ~

to yourself or to others.

You won't die.

You will come to life.

"Oneness With All Life"

Ekhart Tolle

Society tends to feel better if it labels us, so we feel pressured into having a well packaged identity.  In order to do such a thing, we gather experiences that will support the label society will accept.  This is somewhat like placing the carriage before the horse.   

Life would be more positive, perhaps, if we first looked at our own personal strengths.  If we could identify our authentic gifts and how we uniquely apply them, we could then match this criteria to a creative  label of our own.   Rather than feeling stifled and unfulfilled, we could enjoy the freedom to manifest our visions.  We discover our personal definitions through being still, contemplation, prayer, or nature.

We all have experienced the family gathering where a young child will express what they want to be when they grow up.  The adults laugh openly ... "You'll never make any money doing that!  That is a stupid idea!"  ... and the child feels squashed and shamed.  In reality, many of our exceptional inventors, writers, artists, scientists, and entrepreneurs defied the 'nay sayers' by remaining a visionary in their own private space. 

Often times, the worst 'nay sayers' are the ones we hear in our head.  The voices  critique us, judge our ideas, minimize our abilities  and cripple our strengths.  Experiences such as these need to be followed by an ascension. 

The word ascension has been bantered around with various definitions.  In this context, we are looking at an emotional or spiritual cleansing allowing us to rise out of our personal den of negativity, leading us to a higher level of comprehension, action, and well being.

To pull our selves out of the complexity of life time negativity and restraint, takes diligence and awareness.  We must learn to be aware of our inner and outer sensors, to rephrase our inner most thoughts, and to maintain our personal and spiritual power.  It is a process, but a worthy one at that.  A process that requires being present with our selves.

If there are images we hold of our selves we have yet to address, get busy.  There is no time like the present to begin our hearts desires.  If we happen to be  an accountant with hidden musical desires, make a plan.  Use time management to find time for lessons even if once per month.  If we cannot arrange this, then we can commit to listening to our favorite composers live or otherwise.  We can attend community musicals, operas, or orchestras to keep feeding our musical desires until we reach a place in time where we can make our dream a reality.  If we are dedicated mothers with out personal space, take children to the YMCA/YWCA or youth programs offering an art or drawing class or yoga for adults with children.  When we manifest just a portion of our vision, we begin our true path to what awaits within.

When we exit the darkness of not fulfilling our spirits, our lights grow stronger and we ascend into a space that supports our desires.  This may take time, but it is an exciting journey!  When we are finally creating our hearts are filled with joy.  Our self-worth increases and we transcend the den of negativity ... by being still, by developing our skill, and by taking flight!

So How's That Working Out For You?

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it.

                                        Eckhart Tolle

                                 Oneness With All Life

Math, algebra, geometry, and numbers in general have never been my strength.  Somehow I never came up with the right equation, and in many ways this seems to be holding true in my life.

Every year I forewarn my self about the holiday season and how it impacts emotion which in turn triggers responses otherwise never intended to be spoken.  I tell my self to stay in the moment, not to wander into the sadness of the past nor stray into the unknown future.  I know these things to be true and time has taught me these simple precautions are vital.

Today, however, the world of unfairness had broken through my defenses and crowds of questions have rushed in trampling over my carefully placed safe guards.  They are demanding answers and no matter how I link the information, the equations are not coming out satisfactorily.  

Fear shakes me so violently, my rose colored glasses fly off and I see nothing but poverty, illness, violence and death.  Instead of seeing the beautiful spirit emanating light from the heart, I see hunger in the belly, and hatred in the eyes. 

I return to the safety of solitude and begin to mend the fences trampled down.  I pull my resources around me and begin to read passages of well worn books and journals.  Centering myself, I breathe in loving light and exhale the darkness of fear.  Thoughts, prayers, energy and light restore my sense of balance.

Through creative visualization, I begin to send  love, light, and energy out into the world of pain.  I become a deliberate vessel of light pouring brightness into the world of darkness.  I will hold this space in time for as long as I can, clinging to what I believe to be true and hugging the present moment.

Meaningful Existence

I don't know Who --- or what --- put the question.  I don't know when it was put.  I don't even remember answering.  But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone --- or Something --- and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that therefore, my life, in self-surrrender, had a goal.

Dag Hammarskjold

Secretary General of the United Nations

Within each of us, there is a small soft voice speaking to us.  It is underneath all of the self-criticism being spewed by our ego, under the analytical brainstorming of our mind, and under our lonely hearts.  The small voice patiently waits for each of us to be still long enough to listen.

Eckhart Tolle tells us to lean into a tree to discover stillness.  With our fast paced society, we have forgotten how to be still.  Many of us experience stillness only when we fall exhausted into a restless sleep.

The still small voice that awaits our attention is sometimes called God or Buddha or Allah or Divine Mother or Universal Love.  The title is unimportant, but the substance is vital to our purpose and unfolding.  Meaningful existence can be created through a deep connection when we at last surrender to the wisdom within. 

Listening takes time and patience, but the whispers can be heard while reading, or walking or listening to music.  Stilling the mind is important, but we all do not have to sit and meditate or contemplate in order to discover the spiritual connection.

Hearing the whispers of wisdom is important, but things do not stop there.  We learn to trust and have faith, we begin to surrender to greater intentions than self-pleasing goals.  Surrendering is difficult as it prompts change that we are not always prepared to make. 

How will this change my approach to life?  Will this impact the lives of my loved ones?  Am I to believe this is really true?  Can I have more guidance and direction?  When will like minded beings join me in this effort?  All of these questions and more pave the path to a meaningful existence.  We do not need to live in poverty or give up rewards we have earned, but we may be led to use them differently to impact those who surround us.  We may be called to extend more kindness or compassion or to see life with an open heart rather than through tinted lenses.

When we have established a heart connection with the wisdom within, we lead fuller and more productive lives.  Our existence takes on deeper meaning during the stillness we create.  We  no longer feel alone and our purpose in life becomes inspiring, not only to ourselves, but to others as well. 

***Inspired by Mark Nepo's newly released book, SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN.

A Daily Ritual



Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. Let your awareness rest upon it, How still they are, how deeply rooted in Being. Allow nature to teach you stillness.

Eckhart Tolle

All of life surrounding us is a mirror.  Life reflects back to us what we need to see and learn.  A dog will show us how to play and a cat will demonstrate yoga poses!  Birds show us how to allow our thoughts to soar while flowers and trees can be examples of being still soaking in the sun or rain.

Our lives are so fast paced we frequently miss the examples posed all around us.  The summer beauty becomes a backdrop of blur on busy days.   We entirely miss the comfort nature is capable of providing.

Whether at the beginning of our day or at the ending, we can slip off our shoes and stand on the ground, letting our feet feel the energy of the earth.  We can imagine roots sprouting from the bottom of our feet traveling deep into mother earth grounding us for the day awaiting us or after a long day.  We can stretch our arms up to the sun or stars and breathe in the energy of all that is holy while feeling the energy from below.  So we are connected with the above as well as the below.

It is during this connection with the above and the below we find a stillness that refreshes our body, mind, and soul.  Although this morning or evening gesture takes only minutes, it can become a daily ritual honoring all that is and allowing us to briefly be still. 



Eternity

To clarify "eternal" just a smidge ...

Once the river of time has rounded her final bend,

and the last star in the sky has brightened its last night,

and every child who may ever be conceived

has been given ten thousand names ...

we will have just begun.

The Universe

www.tut.com

For some reason, thoughts of eternity rattle around in my brain.  We hear politicians refer to a future global war having the potential to wipe everyone off the face of this earth which causes great anxiety.  Eckhart Tolle encourages us to stay in the present moment, not in the past and not in the future.  To "BE HERE NOW" (the title of one of his very interesting books).  Without delving into detail, I do believe if we practice being in the now, we will avoid future disaster.



Once the river of time has rounded her final bend ...

Time was created by man to bring order to life.  The sequences of nature, however, are not regulated with a giant clock in the sky.  Nature seems to have an intimate connection with Divine Spirit, trusting everything will fold in its proper way.



and the last star in the sky has brightened its last night ...

Stars have been known to man forever and I sense nature knew them long before man.  We become aware of stars as children and stars continue to cause us 'wonder' throughout our lives. 



and every child who may ever be conceived has been given ten thousand names ...

There are many people who still believe that we are born, we live, and then we die. Nothing more. While others believe we are born, live, die, and then go to heaven.  There are others  who believe we live many lives and have an existence before our life and after our life. 



we will have just begun ...

If we entertain these ideas, we can easily become overwhelmed or anxious, but these very ideas give me hope and a happy heart. 

On the Exhale

With awareness there comes choice.

And so you are able to say:

"I allow this moment to be as it is."

And then, suddenly,

where before there was irritation,

there is now a sense of aliveness and peace,

and out of that comes right action.

Eckhart Tolle

We have a tendency to look forward to gatherings.  Somewhere in the back of our minds, we are envisioning a wonderful time.  Unfortunately, this is not the way things always unfold.  Maybe it rains forcing all of the visiting adults and children into our home. Perhaps some adults discover a hot spot of political discord and the tension envelopes everyone.  Waiting for late comers while the meal dries out or someone cancelling at the last minute might pull us off balance. 

Eckhart Tolle suggests staying in the moment, in the now.  He tells us to just let things be.  I have discovered by letting go of my thoughts, allowing the situation to appear and then releasing my emotions can quickly bring back my sense of peace.  We simply need to remain in the moment without reaction.

Our society is very fast paced.  We are very absorbed in "doing" rather than "being".   We move so quickly through our lives we miss the beauty held in each moment.  We are walking so quickly we forget to look up at the beautiful blue sky or notice the flowers or the gentle fragrances in the air.  We are so caught up in our schedules that we miss conversations or comments containing synchronicity or a sudden spark of joy.

If we would just take time throughout our day for a deep breath into our selves, our minds would clear and stress would ride out on the exhale.  By taking three deep breaths within moments we are refreshed.  If we can do this a few times

sporadically throughout the day, we would be amazed at how much better we would feel and how more easily we could handle our day.  Our responses to decisions might be made more clearly and efficiently. 

Eckhart Tolle uses the words 'right action' and I do believe we would all prefer to go through life using clarity and wisdom.  We cannot do that if we are bombarded by prejudice, conflict, disappointment and fear.  These very things prevent us from being who we want to 'be'. 

"I allow this moment to be what it is," states Mr. Tolle.  We may scoff as this sounds entirely too simple and disregard it entirely.  If we are truly smart, however, we will give this simple suggestion a try and we will be amazed at the relief we will experience. 

Hope Resides

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.

Dalai Lama



The twisted spell in my darkened mind has finally shattered and hope resides! This beautiful spring day fills my heart once again with joy, and fear no longer holds me in place.

I am reminded of what I learned from Eckhart Tolle in THE NEW EARTH. He wisely spoke of the pain body residing within us begging for drama and to be fed with extreme emotion. He advised that we stay present in the moment, be aware of the demands of the pain body, and to quietly wait for calm to return. He suggests we do not allow ego to pull us further into the drama or pain. This can be accomplished by staying in the moment.

Hope is pulling me forward today, tomorrow, and the next.   Feeling somewhat rebirthed, after loitering in the labor of darkness, I am building inner strength to be my 'old' self again.  I am once again ready to trust, to believe, and to experience hope eternal! 

Sunshine or Shadow

Keep your face to the sunshine

and you cannot see a shadow.

Helen Keller

The weather was beautiful yesterday and I was able to return to my three mile walking route.  It was glorious to be outside with the sun shining on my face accompanied by a gentle breeze.  I heard the birds chirping and watched the squirrels darting in and out of their secret hiding spaces.  The trees and flowers reflected a vibrant energy that seemed to lift my spirits easily.

Too frequently I hide my face from the radiant sun and find myself standing in the shadows.  If I would just momentarily linger in the shadows examining the effects of the sun, I would be fine, but unfortunately, once I step into the shadows, I have the tendency to get stuck.

In his book, The New Earth, Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body.  (If my copy of this excellent book were not packed away, I would be sharing wonderful quotes.)  Eckhart Tolle speaks about the pain body living within us, waking up and desiring to be fed...with drama and emotions.  We over feed it, stuffing it with endless drama, building negative energies in the process.  Eventually, the pain body is stuffed and goes back to sleep.  Then our life goes on for awhile until the pain body wakes again, demanding to be fed.

Have you ever been just perfectly fine and then some negative thought flits across your mind?  We click on rewind and then pause.  We look at this pain and recall how it felt and the emotional reactions it caused.  This viewing once again awakens the original pain, increases the pain with additional emotions, and leaves us feeling terrible once again.  This is orchestrated by the pain body.

It is in our best interest to be able to recognize the demands of the pain body to be fed.  Compare it to being on a diet.  Our tummy growls, but we learn to distract our self and not immediately force down unnecessary foods.  The same is true for the pain body.  When it makes demands to be fed, we need to distract ourselves by not recalling old memories that will cause us to feel badly.  Instead, we must consciously choose to bring positive emotional thoughts into our awareness in order to feel loved and whole.

So when we find our selves standing in the shadows, getting chilled and feeling alone, let's turn our face to the sun.  Let the sun shine upon us and warm us with the promise that we are never really alone.