Under Construction

Today, I salute myself as a work in progress,

recognizing both the long road traveled

and the road still ahead.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS 

Life can be so conflicted, moving in and out of positive and negative cycles.  One day we may feel indestructible and all knowing.   Within days or even over night we may feel as though we have been depleted with nothing to offer anyone.   On one occasion we may feel beautiful and radiant followed by several occasions where we feel fat and ugly.  The under current of life can churn our emotions into thick and heavy thoughts distorting our view or it can float us merrily down a stream.  Our life suits, indeed, must be designed accordingly. 

Planning ahead does not support us in life as much as our ability to be in the moment, to be present to others, and to be able to go where we are called.  We can have the best intentions, but life often times pulls us into opposite directions, onto other paths, and into unexpected arenas.  If we can truly accept our gifts and talents and remain in physical and spiritual alignment, we can gracefully face any day or any situation. 

There was a summer I went on a sabbatical.  I sat on my front porch reading, napping, and writing.  One night I sat in the porch swing and watched the full moon travel across the star filled sky.  Yes, it took hours.  I felt a total sense of completion and contentment. 

The next day I had lunch with friends.  They intentionally questioned me about what I was doing and what I had accomplished.  As they drilled me with questions, I anxiously realized I could not account for my time.  There was nothing I could produce or label as proof that I had  kept myself profitably busy.    My self-esteem quickly liquidated and slid away.  I truly felt unworthy having nothing physical to show for my time well spent.

When I returned home, I settled into the front porch swing.  I pulled out my journal and not only read but listened with my heart to my words.  I felt myself filling back up with peace and calm.  I was expanding in ways that could not be expressed in dollars and cents nor degrees and certificates.  I was mentally following a spiritual path, leading me to self-discovery and to my authentic self.

From that point forward, whenever someone asked me what I had been doing, I simply told them, "I am under construction!"  I wouldn't necessarily bother to try to explain, as I felt confident with my reply.  I was proud of my new additions and deep inside knew rejuvenating my inner dwelling was going to take quite some time.

Crossing Bridges

"After having been applauded

for busy-ness and productivity,

there is guilt about stillness."

Gay Luce 

 We cross many bridges during our lives (from child to adult, student to teacher, single to wife, wife to mother, mother to grandmother, novice to master, business to retirement) as we transition from one phase to another.  Some do cross gracefully whereas others may go kicking and screaming.   It would be accurate to say whether we welcome crossing the bridge or not, and adjustment is always a part of the transition. 

As in many situations, a forthcoming transition can create anxiety.  Even though we may be eager to move forward the transition is taking us out of our comfort zone into the unknown.  We may grow concerned of losing power or position in the world.  We may no longer be recognized by a certain label we have been displaying for years.  Especially when the work role is removed, we grow concerned about usefulness.

Many of us have been trained to see our selves as what we do for a living, and when we disengage we have a sense of uselessness.  In retirement, many will throw themselves into activities without discretion in order to fill in the empty blanks.  When faced with unexpected quiet or stillness, we need to take our time in learning how to embrace just 'being'.

When we do not learn to let go of fear and to embrace the unknown, we create a very rigid life style for our selves.  We do not experience any variance in our lives as we stick to our script.  So when we retire or physical ailments curtail our busy-ness, we are at a loss as to what to do.  Self-image or ego can become damaged by the sudden void which seemingly offers nothing for us to do.

The need to create a purpose surfaces.  Some fill it with extensive travel, volunteering, hobbies or avocations which become just as rigid as the earlier life style.  Underneath this need to be constant movement, we find the fear of dealing with our feelings.  We stay active disallowing our true nature to surface.  We will go to great depths to avoid what we have repressed.  For many, the act of being still is riddled with anxiety.

For those who are curious about this pause in time,  they find themselves exploring their fears.  They discover prejudices, misconceptions, or our culture's need for materialism.  When we begin to shed the many layers neatly stacked one upon the other, we can discard what we no longer need and feel freedom.  Whether on sabbatical or permanently leaving employment, many experience a huge relief.

It is in this stillness we learn to channel our energies into new aspects of life bringing deeper meaning to this physical experience.  We shift our thoughts to the earth, to the next generation, to compassion, and to meditation or prayer.  When we sit in the stillness we begin to experience our authentic self and a voice gently encourages us to be of service to our inner self and the outer world.  Our identity is no longer found in a career definition, but in our true nature as role model, gardener, painter, volunteer, writer or mother of a heartfelt cause. 

There is work to be done, yes; but the heart felt application comes only after one becomes comfortable in being still.  It is in this very stillness that direction is received, leading us to our highest nature.  By just 'being', we begin to resonate with the rhythms of the Universe, inspiring us to be empathetic human beings.  We then bring our love for life as service to our fellow human beings, to the world, and to all that breathes. 

If we pay attention to the stillness now, we can navigate life in a more meaningful way.  Do not wait for this understanding to come until we are crossing the last bridge of our life.

Breath of Fresh Air

       

       

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.

Erich Fromm

Today, I was allowed to breathe in fresh air.  The sun was shining on my face and precious breaths of pure air filled my lungs.  I felt more alive than I have in months.  These cleansing breaths poured over my troubled thoughts, sluggish body, and tainted cells.  I am alive once again.

It is like this when traveling the spiral, repeating lessons, and healing a little deeper each slide around a coil.   These transitions seemingly take forever when I am anticipating the very next segment.  I wait and wait, but when nothing rises on the horizon fear settles in ... what if there is nothing more? 

Seclusion seemed the most obvious way to settle my mind and open my heart to something new.  To eliminate distractions I focused  on reading, writing, and contemplating, but I did not seem to speed a transition along.  Desperate, I finally reached out to kindred spirits, hoping for some direction to appear.  Foolish gesture, indeed as all answers are within.  

Aware of my despair, a special soul held my hand and walked with me into my depths, helping to clear the debris blocking my path.   With her wisdom, she silently held her light for me to see more clearly the illusion of fear. She witnessed the dawning of my need to get out of my own way.

A surprise gathering of three eclectic spirits  reminded me of the power we all hold within.  As if waking from a long winter's nap, my strengths stretched  awakening the better parts of me.  How could I have fallen into such a deep sleep that I could no longer hear what I deeply know and what I have learned through a life time of lessons. 

My soul sounds like it is humming, happy to be inspired once again.  The breath of fresh air has ignited my visions and creative play is bouncing around in my head.  I had been worried my spiritual contract was complete, but today I know I am very far from done!

The Chicken or The Egg

The present was an egg

laid by the past

that had the future

inside its shell.

Zora Neale Hurston

Folklorist

1903 ~ 1960

Many references are made to the caterpillar's transition into a butterfly.  But what of the chicken fighting to crack the egg?  In THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, Mark Nepo says "Every crack is also an opening." Imagine being encased watching the space grow smaller and smaller.  The chicken cracks the shell by its own growth believing the world as it knows it is coming to an end.  All is falling away as the chick wiggles through the cracks.  The chicken does not die.  It begins a new life in a new world. 

In life, we cast off masks, break out of self-imposed shells, and struggle to regain safe footing.  Transitions are never easy, but new beginnings make the process worthwhile.  While growing up, we gather experiences and learn lessons.  There comes a time to let incidents of the past go, while maintaining the wisdom of the lesson.  In the present, we prepare for what will best suit us in the future.  Life may require sacrifice and loss, as we acquire strength and endurance. 

There was a time I used to feel that the future never really arrives, but with passing years, I find myself actually living in this so called future.  And if I do not relinquish enough of my past nor apply the wisdom learned in my present, I run the risk of creating cracks in this so called future.

Mark Nepo reflects that a crack is an opportunity for new life.  I wonder then, if when I get too many cracks in this so called future,  when I think I am suffocating and dying, will I simply squeeze through the cracks leaving the world as I know it, but actually fall into yet another new world?

I truly do not expect answers or explanations to my questions.  After all, they still seem to be working on what came first, the chicken or the egg!

Gardening the Soul

"Expect to have hope rekindled.

Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.

The dry seasons in life do not last.

The spring rains will come again."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

Spring is the season of renewal.  The clocks 'spring' forward granting us less darkness and more light in our days.  Spending more time in 'light' offers us the opportunity for new vision, a new perception, and new method of growing.  The minds of human beings are as fertile as the rich earth waiting for new sprouts.  It is a time to visualize what we would like to grow in our lives with our tender loving care.

The spring season is like a healing process.  We need to clear away old debris, allowing the sun to warm our soul, bringing back to life our passion and desires.  Once our focus is defined,  we protect these new seeds from inclimate weather and adventurous animals.  We must tend to our soul, supplying wisdom and courage for sufficient growth.  We must loosely till our ideas enabling sprouts to easily shoot up through the earth, reaching for the sun.  We must be brave as new stems will have to face the wind, the rain, and the storms.  If we remain faithful to our healing process, buds begin to appear.  These newly formed buds are tender and precious.  They must be given time to gently unfold in their own time.  These buds must not be prematurely exposed as self-doubt and criticism can chew their heart away.

The gardener of the soul must be patient and diligent.  A true caretaker of what is present and what is yet to come, he or she must be closely connected to the entire process, knowing exactly how and when to commune.  Through close observation, the gardener responds when there is too little rain or too much sun.  He or she realizes each seed has a unique growing period and in order to survive, attention is given to the natural flow of the entire process.

Spring rain cleanses during this early season, washing off the old and preparing for the new.  The extended hours of light allow work to be done on observations, charting, and care for the goal.  When darkness falls upon the garden, it is time for the gardener to self-nurture and restore. 

The gardener faces each morning without the sense of toil.  He or she simply anticipates the joy of tending to the soul.  With every given day, the gardener beckons spring to gently unfold.

A Good Day After All

“The most incredible architecture
Is the architecture of Self,

which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty

and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.

With every in breathe
you are adding to your life
and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life.
Every breathe is a re-birth.”

Allan Rufus

The Master's Sacred Knowledge

The sky is an ugly gray.  It is cold out. There is no prediction for sunshine.  It is too late to go back to bed and too early for a nap.  I am completely unmotivated.  I decide to ignore the growing stack of laundry and allow the dust to gather yet another day. 

After running through a self-assessment, I know in my heart  I will accomplish nothing today.  So I decide to create a sacred space to do nothing in.  I start a fire in the fireplace, gather candles, and my favorite old quilt.  I fill a basket with books ... Rumi, Hafiz, Gibran; old dream journals;  Kubler-Ross, Moody, Weiss; Tolle, Braden, Nepo, Cohen;  and my current journal with a new purple ink pen.  I complete this space by adding  bottled water, a fresh carafe of coffee and a stash of snacks.

Once settled, I extend a prayerful invitation for others to come and join me in my newly created sacred space.  I request energy, love, and light accompanied by wisdom and insight.  My heart then opens wider to allow my self to change, evolve, and grow. 

I feel purposeful and content to experience my created day.  I realize we some times need to just stop and carve out a place for our sacred self to be nurtured, revitalized, and safely grow.  My heart is warmed by the gathering in front of  my fireplace ... kindred spirits, angels, and some  I don't know.  I find my self excited as it turns out to be a good day after all.

Consequencs of a Wish Come True

Just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist.

Madeleine L'Engle

This morning I filled the coffee maker and stood by the kitchen window to check on the little birds.  They have taken over a bush outside the window and they are my morning inspiration.  I was surprised to not see even one little bird in the bush.  I was disappointed.  While I waited for the coffee pot to finish, I continued glancing around the yard.  At the foot of the bush was a hawk!

Hawks and I go way back.  They have been my 'totem' for years and I am always excited to see one, and I see them often.  So I immediately sent light to this hawk, welcoming him to the yard and sending him protection for the day.  It was very apparent that he was in a very watchful mood as his body was stock still, but his small head kept rotating, observing all parts of the yard surrounding him.  I patiently watched him as I knew he would not stay much longer and sure enough, he spread his powerful wings taking flight.

Whenever I have seen a hawk, I always receive a message of sorts.  I wondered what I would be learning today.  As I glanced back to the now vacant spot, I thought I saw a feather!  Oh how wonderful if the hawk had left a feather for me!  I would love to have it.  Wrapping my heavy robe around my pajama's, I dashed out the back door.  In my winter slippers, I  carefully tread across the ice on the deck and ventured to the small spot next to the empty bush where I hoped to find a feather.  A feather to treasure!

I stood very still as the moments slid by while my mind grasped what was before my eyes.  Yes, feathers were everywhere, but they had belonged to a little bird and not the hawk.  This was a killing scene, not a treasure trove.  I knew the hawk was long gone, but my sad eyes searched for the birds, big and small, usually gracing the yard.  None were  to be seen.

There are so many issues around death and dying, and grief and loss, as we as humans do not have the full knowledge of life or death.  With animals, we can console ourselves with acceptance of the the natural food chain, but when the loss is human and much more personal, devastation can distort all we hold dear.

So what was the message the hawk presented today?  What we wish for (a hawk to visit my yard) does not always take into consideration the consequences of the wish come true ...



The Setting Sun

Today, I choose to cherish myself like a beloved child.  I treat myself gently with compassion.  Practicing alert attention, I find delight in the treasures of the day.  I allow meaningful moments to assume enhanced perspective.  Counting these blessings, I enrich my impoverished heart.    Julia Cameron

These days have been difficult for me.  My body, mind and spirit seem to be laced with apathy.  I can barely find myself in my own thoughts.  It is easy to be in the present moment when there is nothing there. 

My dedication and discipline to my writing has been absent, hopefully for just a short holiday.  Whatever I choose to read, I have read before.  I have no desire to see anyone nor do I wish to go anywhere.  I feel suspended between what was, what is, and what will yet to be.

The crystal blue beauty in the eyes of my younger friend should have inspired me.  Pulled into her heart,  I allowed my light to shine upon her gifts, strengths, and challenges.  Such a beautiful soul she is and yet I was not ignited into realms of reflection.

Listening to another friend's heart breaking, I wanted to be present to instill hope with the promise of good things yet to come.  Her spirit needs to be replenished or she will not help anyone at all.  So much giving on her part, asking for nothing in return.   Miraculously angel feathers float into her view! 

Although I do not yet understand this loftiness I am in, I am at peace.  I feel calm.  There is no anxiety, pain, sorrow or loss.   I patiently wait for the setting sun, signaling another day soon to be done.

The Space Between

                 Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.

Raymond Lindquist

For various reasons, we need to make adjustments to our attitude, or situation, or issues with others.  For our own mental health, we are encouraged to eliminate all that weighs us down and to welcome all that lifts us up.  This, however, is a process.

Transitions are successful when we take our time, carefully extracting people, habits or responsibilities in order to start fresh.  What is difficult is the space between letting go of the familiar and waiting for the new to arrive.  Even though we no longer desire the old, it still may feel more comfortable than standing in a void waiting for change.  Even when we invited the new in, it may not be comfortable for awhile as we are not yet used to the comfort of the calm or joy. 

We gather the new to us over time. We don't just get one big special delivery.  Like all good things worth waiting for, we are called to have faith, be patient, and to trust.  We take baby steps with great awareness so that we don't simply duplicate what we had before. 

Changes or transitions are very difficult processes, but they can also be fun and creative.  In order to facilitate this, one has to be in touch with themselves so they are crystal clear about their unique desires and individual needs. 

So when we find ourselves wanting change, we need to prepare for the transition.  Get deeply in touch with our inner feelings and become acutely aware of how we want things to be.  By using our imagination and careful planning we eventually discover ourselves living with the rewards.

Life is a Process

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places,
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"hurry, you will be dead before -----"
(What? Before you reach the morning?
or the end of the poem, is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!.....
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the Sun!

~ May Sarton ~

(Collected Poems 1930-1993)

 

 

 



It is in gathering years that we can create enough distance to be able to turn around and look back at our life.  Otherwise, we stand so close to life itself, we do not have accurate vision.  When life is right in front of us, it is difficult to see the big picture.

It is with the passing of time deeper meaning can be recognized and applied.  Patterns begin to take form and we slowly catch on to the errors of our ways, and accept responsibility for what we have done or left undone.

Life is a process offering opportunities, transitions, and shifts.  From the beginning, our core is nothing but goodness, but during the process of living, we acquire many masks and falsehoods before we finally become determined to return to our true self.  Layer upon layer of old emotions, experiences, and memories are finally discarded as individual awareness strengthens and Spirit nudges us along.

It is a glorious experience to finally stand in stillness, no longer running from who you thought you were.  Our heart is finally filled with love and compassion and we are discouraged no more.  When forgiveness and healing cleanse the soul, we feel safely embraced by the beauty of the world and a oneness with all that lives within it. 

Do not be in a rush.  It takes time to truly recognize our most beautiful inner self.  Enjoy the journey as life unfolds.



One Step

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes.  In order to be free, we must learn how to let go.  Release the hurt.  Release the fear.  Refuse to entertain your old pain.  The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.  What is it you would let go of today?  ~ Mary Manin Morrissey


Every day, we make transitions.  We get up out of bed and transition into our morning routine.  We transition to work and into different thought patterns for the work we do.  We transition from work mind sets to social settings, and then transition back home.  Once again we find our selves in reverse, transitioning back into our bed time routine in preparation for bed.

There are so many variables!  The mood we are in, the weather outside, how someone speaks to us or doesn't speak to us ... all of these situations impact our ability to transition or move forward.  Transitions can be well thought out with extensive planning or they can be impulsive and spontaneous.  Transitions can be exciting or dreadful, welcomed or feared, and successful or unsuccessful.

The healthiest transitions move us forward no matter how difficult they might be.  Whether we are changing locations, jobs, or families, we will experience all kinds of emotions.  It is difficult to say good-bye, but good-byes do not have to be forever.  To leave friends does not mean we no longer care about them.  If moving forward feels "right" but difficult, it is simply a challenge requiring courage and focus.

Moving forward can be easier if we focus on the adventure and what there may be waiting for us just ahead.  We acknowledge that any kind of change unsettles us, but it is not reason enough to keep us from allowing our lives to further unfold.

I loved to swing on swings and still do on rare occasion.  I loved being pregnant and raising children, and was very sad when the time came to move forward into another chapter in my life.
Leaving co-workers was very difficult while the excitement of a more lucrative job lured me forward.  Even though retirement was so very welcomed, there was a period of adjustment to establish a new way of identifying my self. 

Throughout the years, outcomes has been very positive with each transition.  Moving forward has done just that ... moved me further along life's path.  We need to take our foot off the brake, and coast into the next transition.  Obstacles may appear and things may not unfold smoothly, but all things considered, as long as we are connected with our inner spirit, all will be well.  It just takes one step in a new direction!

Leaving Nashville ...

We must be willing

to let go of the life

we planned

so as to have the life

that is waiting for us.

Johann von Goethe

My move to Nashville ten months ago was a forever move.  I began to create a new life for my self and although it was not what I had, Nashville offered many adventures and opportunities.  At times I became immobile by the process of the old dying away and the new being born.  The challenge or lesson often overwhelmed me.  Through perseverance, however, I made an extraordinaire spiritual transition accompanied by the loving support of my daughter (both emotional and physical), family I met along the way, and sisters of my heart.

I attended classes at The Estuary, Vanderbilt Center for Integrative Health, Scarritt~Bennett, Integrative Health Center, and Kundalini Yoga Center.  Following open hearted meditations daily, my spiritual life opened to forgiveness and healing.  Experiencing many insights into my own personal issues, my perception changed dramatically.  Compassion for my self and others flourished.

During my residence in Nashville, I experienced a synchronistic meeting with a woman who had been born in Peoria, Illinois, not far from where I had lived.  She

was a kindred spirit who introduced me to a Writer’s Group and a Book Club which met my basic needs of writing and reading.  I soon had my library card and

frequented the Nashville branch library.  My daughter brought me to parks,

festivals, art shows, and gatherings allowing me to feel settled in my new surroundings.  We frequented many restaurants that reminded me of growing up in Chicago with wonderful neighborhood eateries.  Ted’s is possibly my favorite restaurant with bison burgers accompanied (right around the building) by Scarlett Begonia my favorite shop offering free trade from Ecuador.   The Nashville Zoo, The Southern Book Festival, Shakespeare in the Park, Centennial Park, Crockett Park, Radnor Lake, all offered walks of contemplation and laughter.  One highlight for sure was watching my dear Joy’s sell out performance with John Paul as “Civil Wars” at the Ryman! 

Although cloistered much of the time, I found companionship in the writings of Alan Cohen and Mark Nepo to mention just a few.  Posting on my blog became my daily life line to the outside world.  It was a place to release my expanding and contracting journey with spiritual growth.   My dear spiritual sisters endeavored to SKYPE with me every week while others were with me in spirit offering love, light, and energy. 

After four months of exclusion, I revisited my past relationship back in Illinois discovering the dramatic change that occurred within his own life.  We began

to carefully reconsider what could be rekindled from our past nine year union.

Through a long series of couples counseling in Nashville and individual counseling, hope settled in.  I do not believe if I had not been experiencing open heart meditations, I would have been able to embrace the life which now opened before me.  Reconciliation can be successful only with the convergence of two hard working individuals willing to make changes for the betterment of self and of each other.

In a few weeks, I will transition back to my life in Springfield, Illinois.  Those of you who have remained close will understand how this has come to be.   I will always be indebted with a thankful heart for my daughter’s compassion and enduring love, as I leave one way of living for another.  Although I will frequent Nashville with ample visits, my heart will now stretch and grow back in the Midwest. 

I am letting go of what I had planned and find my self stepping into the life that is waiting for me. 

"Be willing to be a beginner every single morning,"

says Meister Eckhart.

And so I being again ...

The Way You Look

 

When you change the way you look at things,

the things you look at change.

The way you perceive things

is an extremely powerful tool

that will allow you to fully

bring the power of intention

into your life.

Wayne Dyer

Like a caterpillar, I have been incubating in a cocoon of darkness for several days.  I am not a very patient person, so when a stream of light slipped through a slight crack in my isolation yesterday, I knew it would not be much longer before my emotional webbing would gently release me.

It seems there are steps we all transition through:  unknowing, awareness, beckoned to action,  and living in the light.   It is a simple configuration that can be applied to many situations.  When there is a presenting problem we are a victim until we realize there actually is a problem.  We stop being a victim when we review our choices and take action on at least one.  The movement towards correction empowers us and we then have the courage to move forward.  This being accomplished we feel ourselves living a better life.  There seems to be hope.

A mentor of mine saw all things biblical as symbols and templates. He believed the number three to be highly significant in diverse ways.  So he encouraged me to be present with a problem for three days without worry, judgment, or thoughts of outcome.  When I can be still, stay in the moment, and let the three days pass, there always seems to be an appropriate resolution waiting for me.  Emotions are balanced and energies are restored.

As a human being, however, I 'know' these things, but I simply forget.   I get caught up in the drama and the emotion then freeze, losing all ability to apply what I know to be true.  This is part of the process of transitioning.  It is symbolized by the spiral, as we continuously cycle in and out of experiences, learning the lessons we need to know.

I find myself telling friends to be gentle with themselves, to keep resources in place, and to nurture their souls.  As I offer these words to others, I hear my inner voice saying, "Are you listening to this?"

Wayne Dyer is a favorite author and presenter of mine.  I have been aware of him since 1967 and have enjoyed watching him unfold.  He has stayed true to his spiritual path, helping thousands of others along the way.  He encourages us to use perception as a tool and to keep our intentions pure.

Creative visualization enables us to do just that.  If we mentally see ourselves being spiritually powerful, embracing diversity, and receiving the joys of life, our life will unfold more gracefully than not.  We are less likely to be pulled into someone else's drama, become unbalanced, and lose our way. 

If our intention is clear and we remain mindful, we are frequently supported by synchronicity and magical moments.  If we get up in the morning and say, "Wow!  This is going to be a great day," the intention usually holds true.  We know the reverse is true as well. 

There are so many surprise happenings in life when we hold our perceptions and intentions in place.  Think of all of the 'accidental' meetings that occur that lead us right where we need to be. 

Perceptions can be altered by previous unfortunate experiences and we must be certain to not let negative memories taint present opportunities.  What you see is what you get.  What you think becomes reality. 

I have been trapped in a cocoon by a false perception in a current situation.  It took three days for me to alter my perception and set a concise and clear intention.  Today I can navigate through my day like the flight of a butterfly!

Rewards Will Come

 

When one door closes,

another opens;

but we often look so long

and so regretfully upon the closed door

that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

Years ago, I was the director of a private agency by the name of OPEN DOORS.  This facility was given this particular name as I was committed to opening doors to those who were not able to do so on their own.  I assisted others, especially women, in stepping through doorways they couldn't personally see. 

OPEN DOORS was a message to all peoples for all situations.  No one was ever turned away, although some were referred to other resources.  The key to moving forward was clearly in seeing options.  If a person cannot see choices, they remain a victim.  Even when limited, if there is choice, there is motivation to take the next steps.  Movement creates necessary action to reach a better place. 

Once we make a decision, we feel better and no longer feel stuck.  Our self-esteem can be restored and hope brings the possibility of a brighter future.  I have been privileged to be present in the lives of others as they pass through a new opening.

Let there be no mistake, we must be prepared to walk through an opening door alone.   We must take our own steps and find our own way.  When we allow awareness and insight to guide us, in time, rewards will come our way.

New Beginnings of Spring

The cool wind blew in my face

and all at once

I felt I had shed dullness from myself.

The birds were singing.

It was spring.

Burl Ives

 

Spring is here and I feel as though I have just awakened from a long winter's nap.  The birds are all singing and the grass is greening while the flowers are making their debut.  Once again I feel a joy, a connection with all of life.  I am ready to begin again, to plant seeds and nurture them for creative growth.  My energy is coursing through my body and I am excited to move forward again!


On small slips of paper, I have written down all of the 'shoulds' in my life (I should attend ... I should call ...) and placed them in a small brown paper bag.  I went out to the garden and buried the sack below the rich garden soil.

There is newly found freedom in letting these 'shoulds' go.  A heaviness has been lifted and I excitedly wonder how my life will grow.  I want it to unfold without structure or obligations, to just gently flow. 

I long for Spirit to move me through the mysteries of nature and into the creative silence I have known as bliss.  During the day, I will wait in the white wicker rocker with sunshine on my face.  I will linger on the porch swing of the evening, watching as the moon slowly glides across the sky.  Even in dream time, I will maintain an awareness for the new beginnings of spring.

The Meanings of Christmas

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.     - Agnes M. Pharo


Deep in each and every one of us, we long to be heard, accepted, and loved.  As we have no control over anyone else, we must execute our own behaviors to open the hearts of others by being available to them.  Not be used, abused, or minimized, but to retrieve parts of our inner being that remain caught in the past.  As a dear mentor of mine says, "Pull our parts together."  In so doing, we become whole and better prepared to approach the life we have been meant to live.

It takes courage to be emotionally vulnerable to what has hurt us in the past.  As we face family or friends, we accept them ... their truth, their path, their choices ... without any need to 'fix' them or bring them 'around to our way of thinking."  They, too, want to be heard, accepted, and loved, but not one of us needs to forsake our selves ... our dreams, our insights, our paths ... in order to be loved.

Personally, I find silence to be a wonderful tool for this holiday season when so many unresolved differences are presented.  Silence, accompanied by sincere listening, genuine acceptance, and love, promotes a safe passage for everyone involved.  We can agree to disagree, emotionally stay in tact, and experience the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is the true meaning of Christmas?  I believe it is determined individually in many languages and with a wide range of definitions.  In the final translation, however, I believe we find these words ... hope, unconditional love, and peace.

Part of the Whole ... Albert Einstein

A human being is a part of the whole called by us

"universe," a part limited in time and space.  He

experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as

something separated from the rest ---

a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison for us,

restricting us to our personal desires and to

affection for a few persons nearest to us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from

this prison by widening our circle of

compassion to embrace all living creatures

and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Albert Einstein

It has been said when we are feeling depressed, we need to turn our attention to service of others.  By reaching outside of our own comfort zone, we release some of our own stress and bring compassion to another.

Could life really be that simple?  Rather than building our personal walls of fear to keep people out, we can open our hearts while embracing others with compassion.  Understand that personal boundaries are important, but have we carried this too far?  As a culture have we grown too isolated within our surrounding community?

By connecting with others, we begin to see and feel the spirit of each other learning diversity.  We are not all the same, but we are all worthy of love.  We all want to be heard, loved, and respected.

If we present our self by reflecting our true spirit, others have the opportunity to respond in kind.  Engagement then is readily available.  As we open our self with respect to hear a new message our compassion grows as everyone has a story. 

Granted, there are those who are difficult, who challenge us and who will not engage in loving kindness.  It would not be in our own best interest to subject our self to repeated hurtful situations;  but it is helpful to remember that there have been times in our own lives that we have been difficult as well.  Just as we do not want to be judged, others do not want to be judged either.  Silently offering forgiveness, healing and peace to those who are difficult, we then can return our attention to others wanting to experience healthier encounters.

The emphasis here is to appreciate all peoples.  We are a part of a whole that experiences pain and suffering,  joy and hope, and birth and death.  Let us look into the eyes of each other to discover the spirit residing within hidden by fear of exclusion.



Letting Go ...

Keep in mind that letting go

isn't the end of the world,

it's the beginning

of a new life.

author unknown

It has never been easy for me to let go whether or not it is about releasing a friend, a book, a child, a lover, or the last potato chip in the bag.  Moving along has always been challenging even if I have been clinging to that which is not good for me.  Somehow the known has always been more appealing than the unknown. 

Many years ago I found myself clutching onto a situation that was no longer healthy for me.  In the deepest part of myself, I knew it was time to make a change.  Even though opportunity was pounding upon my door, I watched my feet slowly shuffle forward rather than running with glee.

The only constant in life is change and so I am called to master letting go to make inevitable transitions more gracefully.  I must focus on the adventure that opens before me and trust that all will unfold.