It Takes Input

The ocean was the best place, of course. That was what she loved most.

  It was a feeling of freedom like no other, and yet a feeling of communion

with all the other places and creatures the water touched.”    

  

~ Ann Brashares



Every day I hear the ocean and it calms me.  As the waves roll in, I feel as though I am being cleansed, over and over again.  The sun shines brightly upon my face and there is only joy, not sorrow.  As I wander back to our rented Key West home, I soak up the beauty of the beautiful trees and vibrant flowers snapping pictures all of the way. 

Once settled on the covered porch, I can laze on the glider listening to the gurgle of the small pool just a short glance away.  I watch small hawks flying overhead and wait for my favorite butterfly so delicate and graceful and yet so swift. 

For several years now, I have been meeting weekly with a small circle of women for contemplation, wisdom, and insight into various topics.  The sharing and learning between us has created a very strong bond of love.  This is where I feel accepted, not necessarily approved;and honored and respected in spite of frailties and wounds. Even though I carry these "sisters" in my heart, I miss their physical presence.

The same can be said for my writers group.  A few years back, I attended this gathering of diverse women and have returned weekly ever since.  Together we have laughed, cried, and taught each other through our shared writings and stories.  It is with these lovely ladies I have experienced tender hearted criticism, encouragement and validation.  I am keenly aware of my absence from these spirited sisters, and look forward to being with them once I return.

I also have weekly visits with a mentor and a close friend and by being absent, I realize how very much they help me to understand my self.  They say it takes a village to raise a child.  For me, it takes input from trusted and diverse souls to remain grounded and nurtured on my chosen path.  My destination will not be met if I travel completely alone, void of assistance from others.

When we were on the ferry last night, I was watching a buoy in the water bobbing around in the ocean waves.  This is how I feel at times, bobbing around in the deep waters of life.   I am upright and strong until a wave washes me over.  I resist and flounder until I allow my self to be upright again.  When I just trust the flow of the water and go with the ups and downs, life runs more smoothly.

A Place of Women

How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you?  A place for you to go, a place of women, to help you learn the ways of woman . . . a place where you were nurtured from an ancient flow sustaining you and steadying you as you sought to become yourself.  A place of women to help you find and trust the ancient flow already there within yourself . . .  waiting to be released . . . 

A place of women . . .

How might your life be different?

Circle of  Stones by Judith Duerk

Quite honestly, I do not wish my life were different, but I do wonder how different it might have been had I had positive, supportive, and caring women in my life.  If there had been a circle of women encouraging me and nurturing me as a child, I wonder if I would have still been as fear based as I am. 

If there had been those who celebrated my differences rather than shaming me, would I even look different?  Would I carry my self differently, physically?  Could my mind be more creative and my spirit more kindly? 

I cannot change my past, but thankfully my awareness grew through the diversity of women who did come into my life in later years.  Exposure to women who were excellent role models by being whatever their true nature called them to be, taught me a sense of value and self-worth. 

After bringing three wonderful boys into this world, I was gifted with a daughter.   With intense gratitude, I have been able to acquaint all four of them  with the strengths, gifts, and talents that all people bring into the world.  My boys learned how to recognize and respect diversity in  women while my daughter learned the importance of her own voice to be used with both male and female.

We are intended to be nurtured by those surrounding us.  It pleases me, therefore, to be aware of the diverse characteristics of women currently being displayed and developed in women across the globe.  We are entitled to be our inner self to the fullest which often times is made easier if we have a place of women.

Corkscrews On The Top Of Her Head!

We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads are equal in value no matter what their color.    ~Maya Angelou

 

Many years ago, I became intrigued by a young woman.  We were both in attendance of our husbands' softball games.  Week after week, I would watch her ... always alone, dressed very casually in jeans with a random top, large round glasses, and very long natural curly hair with random corkscews sticking out of the crown of her head.

My curiosity overcame my sense of rudeness for invading her private space on her red wool plaid blanket spread over the grass.  As she appeared to be somewhat of a recluse I was amazed when she openly welcomed me to sit awhile.

In no time at all, Kath Ann became and remained one of my dearest friends.  We had little in common except our own individual uniqueness, but we bonded like forever friends.  

Kath Ann was newly married and still basking in the delights of creating a new nest.  I had been married for several years with two little boys in tow.  She came to my home often and we would share books, both avid readers.  She told me how she 'threw clay' and loved being a potter.  (This explained the few corkscrews on the crown of her head ... her long hair had frequently been caught in the clay with the wheel turning!)  She, too, had been in the field of social services.

In spite of growing as close as women can, I was unable to tell her of my failing marriage, my overwhelming sense of failure, guilt and shame.  My parenting skills were slipping, my focus was evaporating, and I longed to be invisible.  Within months, everything came crashing down.

When I told Kath Ann I would be moving within days, she was shocked and hurt.  She said she had known something was wrong, but didn't want to be invasive.  We vowed to remain friends.

Time passed and we both moved to different locations.  She furthered her education and moved to a California University to be an interpreter for foreign students.  She, too, divorced and I never saw her again.  She died at a very young age of breast cancer.

Kath Ann will remain my forever friend.  I treasure the years we shared together and I will never let her memory fade.  I still love those big round glasses and crazy corkscrews on the top of her head!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Empowered and Aligned

"the common divide" - a tension between needs that pull us

in two different directions at once.

Ann Snitow

Feminist, Theorist

We all experience "the common divide" at one time or another whether it is in reference to leaving home, changing careers, becoming a wife and mother, or questioning any of the great aspects of life.  The division is between diverse parts of our very self and the decision of which needs are to be recognized and met.  In time, we learn to honor and respect all parts of the self, creating a sense of wholeness.

THE ROOT OF THIS LONGING by Carol Lee Flinders discusses inner conflicts that tend to create the "common divide".  The conflicts that many women experience are between: "embracing silence vs. finding voice;  relinquishing ego vs. establishing 'self';  resisting desire vs. reclaiming the body; and enclosure vs. freedom."  The book explores the sources of these conflicts and how they can be reconciled.

By traveling upon a spiritual path, we learn to listen, but deflect comments and opinions that keep us limited.  The louder our inner voice grows, the less we depend upon the judgments of others.  The more we honor and respect what grows within us, the more satisfied and fulfilled we become.  As we learn to blend all parts of our inner self together, we become empowered and aligned with our personal goals and spiritual connections.  We find our selves intimately connected with all there is through a personal relationship with Divine Spirit.

Our Work of Art



It is the function of art to renew our perception.  What we are familiar with we cease to see.  The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.

~Anais Nin

When we travel, we usually spend time in art galleries.  I have an appreciation for most things I see, but I do not necessarily like it all.  I have come to understand, however, the more exposed I am to different artists, my preferences change and my appreciation in general grows.  In addition, the more I view a piece of art, my response to it alters.

When I met a friend for coffee the other day, we realized through conversation we had a mutual friend.  I had known the person mentioned for many years and thought I knew her quite well.  As my coffee companion shared how she knew this friend, I was amazed at how much more she had learned about her and in a very short period of time. 

Later, as I thought back over the conversation about this mutual friend.  I wondered if I was not like a photographer, snapping a picture of some one and then keeping her in this singular captured vision.  I apparently had been seeing my friend in a freeze frame photo ... exclusively in the one capacity that I had met her.  For whatever reason our relationship was always contained in only one aspect of our lives.   

When we place friends in categories ... work, church, community, family ... we restrict our view by seeing just one aspect of them.  It is when we experience friends in different situations that we begin to see the art of life in totality.

When we view a person only from one perspective, we not only miss personal diversity, we may begin to gloss over or take for granted what little we do know.  Human beings are complex individuals with an abundance of originality.

So I begin to look with new eyes and listen with both ears to discover more deeply the art of friendship.  I think this is especially true with acquaintances we "think" we have nothing in common with.  It is impossible to hold the expectation of deeply appreciating every person we meet.  It is possible, however, to listen and observe until we can appreciate multiple aspects of those we hold dear.   We are all evolving and constantly redefining our lives, our works of art. 

Loving Self .... OSHO

Love Yourself You will feel the most significant experience, you will become ecstatic if you can feel that the whole existence needs you, that you will be missed, that if you are not here there will be a gap, you will be missed. You are not unnecessary, you are not superfluous; you have tremendous significance. Hence, love yourself. You are needed as much as the trees, as the flowers, as the birds, as the sun, as the moon, as the stars. You have to be here and you have a right to be the way you are. Osho If you do not have the sense that you need to be you, please have the sense to know that I need you to be you!

Behold this woman named Mel ...

Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love,

but that doesn't make you love them any less.

Sometimes you love them more.

Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

Melanie, on the surface, is a gentle and polite young woman.  She has long curling blond hair and a delicate face graced with simplistic beauty.  It is in her gentle eyes that I first began to sense that there was much more under the first impressions.

Women are complex creatures, and Mel is definitely multifaceted.  Raised on a farm in Ohio, she attended college in California, and did social work in Chicago.  She has a deep reverence for seniors that is equally bestowed upon animals.

One of her many gifts is working with Mother Nature.  She creates exquisite floral arrangements that are uniquely designed as well as displayed.  She has ten green thumbs that make quick work out of any yard or garden using color, dimension, and a natural grace to the requested task.  She has an inner sense that connects people with their own style and space.

In relationship with Andy, her husband, Melanie is tender, loving, and kind appropriately tempered with humor and strong will.  In friendship, Mel is giving, undemanding, thoughtful and supportive.  She is an excellent natural cook being very health conscious with grains and veggies. She is a 'sister of the heart' and someone who could never be replaced.

Before  imagining her as some piece of fluff or delicate flower, allow me to bring balance to her creative feminine side.  Dear sweet Mel can drive a tractor, tinker with engines, and address electrical wiring.  She has a strong physical strength residing within her slim built frame. 

This last January on the 20th (I'll check that date with Andy),

I had the priviledge of witnessing the birth of their daughter, Juniper Rose (yes, named after my daughter).  Mel's labor persisted all through one day and half way through the night.  The strength of her determination and physical endurance indeed were remarkable.  Although I have given birth to the total of four, watching the birth of this beautiful and healthy babe moved me beyond all imagination. 

As a mother, Melanie is captivated by the miracle of her little child.  She is open to learning, overcomes the imperfections associated with motherhood, and blankets this child in love.  She is a Mama Bear to this baby cub, and I sure wouldn't want to mess with her!

Without being irreverent, I could almost visualize this young woman as a Madonna.  Like some women have been categorized in history,  Melanie presents as a gentle spirit of this world and of that which hovers beyond.  She is a special blend of sweetness and the salt of the earth.  I honor her own birth and celebrate her life as distance has made me love her more.

Really Living

If we don't change, we don't grow.

If we don't grow, we are not really living.

Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

Gail Sheehy

Gazing back across the years, it seems as though I have led many lives within just one.  My life like a book has many chapters building upon the person I once was and who I seem to be today.  I would not choose to leave a bookmark in any special place, but rather move it along as the final chapters near.

It is no surprise to me, who I am today for I am very much the person I once set out to be.  I feel as though all of my masks have fallen away leaving me light enough to continue on my way.

Defining my self as a seeker, I have gathered knowledge primarily from books and mentors or teachers I acquired along the way.  There comes a time, however, when one must stop seeking and simply apply the wisdom at hand.  I no longer remember who said what or where or when, as all inspiration has melted into one. 

"And at what cost did this destiny come?" I ask of my self.  Ah, the price ... what did I pay?  "I paid dearly," the truth be told.  With every stage of personal and spiritual growth, as enhanced as I could be, I lost people, places, and things.  It puzzled me that others rarely could celebrate the existence of the awakened mind, but rather felt a need to turn away and leave me behind. 

By surrendering external things, I gained a deeper meaning of 'me'.  I found not only my spiritual self, but became one with all that is.   Divine Spirit is in all things surrounding me and the world is mine to behold.



A Remarkable Woman Named Rose

REMARKABLE WOMAN

There is that law of life, 

so cruel 

and so just ~ 

that one must grow, 

or else pay more 

for remaining the same.

Norman Mailer

THE DEER PARK

On Mother's Day thirty-two years ago, I gave birth to my fourth child.  As the mother of three boys, I was expecting another little boy, but instead I received the overwhelming present of a baby girl.  This may have been the first time she surprised me, but definitely not the last.

I gave her life and watched this Rose unfold. Driven by a thirst so strong and an intuitive understanding of life, she reached accomplishments before her time. She used sunbeams to gain access to her stars and still shines brightly in my eyes.


This child is a grown woman now with today being her birthday.  She remains to be a present and a presence in my life.  I nurtured her as a little seedling, protected her as a tightly closed bud, and set her free to stand strong against the storms of life.  With her roots strongly stretched into rich soil, she has withstood the challenges of life, learning to bend with the winds. 

While walking through the garden of life, we both have heard the calling to never stay the same.  Nature beckons us to be authentically bright and beautiful and to treat others just the same.  In the years to follow, she gave life back to me and sheltered me when in need. She has nurtured me and encouraged me to allow my light to shine.

My beautiful Rose is a remarkable woman ... fragrant, delicate, vibrant and strong.  Gathering her mastered gifts, she showers them upon others with a compassionate and encouraging heart.   Her dedication to friends and her commitment to serving others is a reflection of her soaring spirit.


This flowering Mother's Day gift has been inspiring in every way. Acknowledging the sense of her eternal presence, she will reside in the depths of my heart forever.



Linger in my Heart

If there comes a day

when we can't be together,

keep me in your heart,

I'll stay there forever.

A. A. Milne

Winnie the Pooh

The most valuable gifts in my life have been friendships.  I have always been a person to be surrounded by people, but few did I ever really let in.  The ones I allowed to enter, still linger in my heart.

For me, friendship is best compared to a large old white house with a front porch and a pretty fenced in yard.  There are passers-by I would be happy to hang over the fence and chat with, but I would not want to open my gate.  There are others who I welcomed into my yard, but very few were invited onto my porch.  To make it to my porch swing where stories were shared was quite an accomplishment.  Then there were the small handful who actually made it in through the front door.  They were my forever friends.

It is interesting to look back over my life and recall the women who significantly impacted me.  None are necessarily alike in appearance or life choices, but they all are heart connected. 

Once firmly on my spiritual path, I began to gather a Circle of Women as I needed heart felt exchange, support, and insight.  Since then I have led several circles and learned deeply from them all. 

Then there were the women who somehow grew to be more than friends.  They became Sisters of my Heart and we shared a bond that went beyond words and time. 

I have always been attracted to a diverse population of women.  I have such a thirst to discover all fabrics, to examine all weaves, and to create a rich and colorful tapestry in my life.  Some strands have snagged, some threads have faded, but all of these loved ones continue to be the pattern warming my soul.

I can only hope that I have meant something to them as well, these Circles of Women and Sisters of my Heart.  I linger in their hearts, still.

  

  

Southern Wise Women

For most of history

'anonymous' was a woman.

Virginia Woolf

Upon moving to Nashville, Tennessee, I attended a spiritual discussion group at Scarett~Barrett in hopes of meeting new friends.  The woman I randomly sat next to just happened to have been born in Peoria, Illinois, within an hours drive from where I used to live.  This synchronicity brought surprise, laughter, and the beginnings of friendship.  When Judy learned of my interest in writing, she graciously invited me to attend a writing group at the senior center, Fifty Forward.

From the very first writing group, I felt warmly welcomed by true "Southern Hospitality."  All of these women were seniors to me and they have grown to be the elders I have never had.  Those in attendance, week after week, seemed to be unaware of the wisdom they held.  They are bearers of history, reflectors of family development, and conquerors of life's many challenges.

Each author takes a turn to read a piece of her memoir, poem, or creative writing.  With each testimony, the stories wrap themselves around my heart.  These women share personal insights into lives that I have previously never experienced.  There is no extended family in my life, and these women unknowingly have become respected and admired grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, blessing my life.

Wanda's fingers are always knitting as she listens at the table.  Her words are so descriptive I feel as though I have sat in her son's home up in the mountains appreciating nature's panoramic view.  Carolyn, with all of her southern sweetness shares her next detailed account of family history with names and dates written in exacting penmanship.  After the reading, she neatly folds the letter into a stamped envelope to be mailed to grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Betty's writings bring back my own memories of childhood times spent in Wisconsin.  We have chatted about places of interest we have both visited.  Janie at times seems to be unconcomfortable to have everyone's attention, but she is a natural storyteller of her younger years.  Sharing her early thyroid treatments, her words remain crystal clear.  Sybil is the eldest of the group, I believe in her mid-nineties.  She has a spry and spunky spirit that has experienced a life of adventure with her own sense of style.  Lou is our leader.  I sense that she has held many responsible positions throughout her life, mastering them all.  She appears somewhat stern upon first meeting her, but I have learned that she has a heart filled with gold.  Sitting next to her every week, I have sensed she would extend a loving hand to help anyone if a need should ever arise.  She may have accomplished more serious writing than all of us put together, but it is not her style to show it.  Alice appears as though she has placed her life in God's hands so she can experience life innocently and simply.  Her faith is portrayed between her written words, giving testimony to the presence of God in the midst of her life.  Although there are other remarkable women in this group, I will lastly mention Ann.  She reads from her memoirs and frequently speaks of her grandsons, Harry and Jack, especially Jack.  It is only with the passing of time that I have recognized my self while looking into the heart of this woman.  There is an uncanny parallel between our lives, and I find her to be a kindred spirit!

At this time and place, my ten months in Nashville, Tennessee, are drawing to a close.  I am eternally grateful for the synchronicity in meeting Judy.  Her kind heartedness introduced me to to people, places, and events, but most importantly her heart and home.  I have started the transition back into a full life waiting for me in Illinois.  I will return to Nashville for ample visits with my daughter and perhaps we shall all gather again.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

May Divine Spirit always surround you.

Rainmaker by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

RAINMAKER: YOU COULD BE THE WATER ...

By the scent of water alone,

the withered vine comes back to life,

and thus ... wherever the land is dry and hard,

you could be the water;

or you could be the iron blade

disking the earth open;

or you could be the 'acequia',

the mother ditch, carrying the water

from the river to the fields

to grow the flowers for the farmers;

or you could be the honest engineer

mapping the dams that must be taken down,

and those dams which could remain to serve

the venerable all, instead of only the very few.

You could be the battered vessel

for carrying the water by hand;

or you could be the one

who stores the water.

You could be the one who

protects the water,

or the one who blesses it,

or the one who pours it.

Or you could be the tired ground

that receives it;

or you could be the scorched seed

that drinks it;

or you could be the vine,

green-growing overland,

in all your wild audacity ...

Untie the Strong Woman

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

It is important for each one of us to discover the role we play in the greater scheme of things.  We must identify our strengths and use them accordingly.  There is no role too small or insignificant as we all form the whole together.

Hidden Silences

One of the tasks of true friendship

is to listen compassionately and 

creatively to the hidden silences. 

Often secrets are not revealed in words, 

they lie concealed in the silence 

between the words 

or in the depth of what is 

unsayable between two people. 

A BOOK OF CELTIC WISDOM 

~John O'Donohue 

Anam Cara 

No matter how diverse a circle of women, an unseen bond secures the circle. Over time, each woman in the group experiences the opportunity to articulate the silence dwelling within her heart. Even when fear holds words captive, the women offer understanding and encouragement embracing any unspoken declaration.

When we are separated from our friends, time passes, and life moves on. Then we find ourselves joyfully visiting one or all of our friends and the conversation seems to pick up right where it left off.

There is something endearing about looking into the eyes of a 'sister of the heart' and experiencing a special knowing that silently passes between you. A voiceless communication transpires securing the bond of the relationship.

In a circle of women or in the presence of a dear friend, one does not always find appropriate words. Women capable of listening with compassion to what is not being said is a greater gift than being 'silver tongued'. Even if the women do not totally understand each other, their simple presence brings comfort.

Having a place to sit with our hidden silences is priceless. When we feel totally accepted there is a restoration of spirit. We have newly found courage to move forward once again.

Valentine's Day

The value of the personal relationship

to all things

is that it creates intimacy

and intimacy creates understanding

and understanding creates love.

Anais Nin

I am thankful for all of my friendships that embrace my life just as it is.  I am grateful for all of the wise women and sisters of my heart who empower me through their own diversity and unconditional love.  

I am blessed to have love in my life in spite of challenge and change.  The power of forgiveness, wisdom, and insight creates a safe haven where I can begin anew.  I am ever so hopeful that the change in an other can be a catalyst for change together. 

My heart is continuously touched by the hands of friends, children, grandchildren and 'family' I meet along the way.  Without my boys and the never wavering love of my daughter, I would not be here today.

May your hearts be filled with love today ...
and every day!

'Undivided Tenderness'

"When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you.  If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will."     ~ Sasha Azevedo  

Over time, we grow aware of our differences.  Differences from the role we play in our family, to our selves, and to others surrounding us.  Who are we any way?  When we are exposed to conflicting belief systems,  dysfunctional family dynamics, and  inappropriate life styles, it is important to have a strong sense of self so we will not be over come by so many differences.  If we learn from these differences, we will not become stagnant nor lose opportunities to stretch and grow.  If we carefully open our inner self and not be rigid in our perceptions, we will see our selves in a new light.

Lingering memories from the recent holidays can be challenging for all of us.  It is a sensitive time and we all have unresolved issues or challenges to work on ... forgiveness ... acceptance ... compassion ... fears.

We must not lose our selves in the past nor is it wise to escape too far into the future.  We must use 'undivided tenderness' to nurture our spirit in the present moment.  Be here now for all else is an illusion.

If you are lonely: 

1.  Make a presentation at a senior center, youth group, church circle
2.  Read books out loud to incapacitated
3.  Offer to babysit your neighbors children for one hour
4.  Take a class ... dance, art, writing, photography
5.  Start a garden club
6.  Initiate a monthly meet at the local coffee cafe

                                                            The ideas are endless ......

Sacred Space

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.

- Joseph Campbell

Over the years, I have discussed sacred spaces with a diverse population of women.  Sacred spaces offer a place for a person to restore their spirit, discover answers, receive guidance, or simply just to 'be'.

A sacred space can be anywhere.  I have learned of some who have one chair in the corner of their home where they can feel safe and connect with what is holy to them.  Others may be more fortunate and have an entire room filled with books, music, desk with chair, and inspirational wall hangings.  There are some women who deem their entire home as sacred space.  Nature lovers may have a favorite park or a bench in their yard where they find time to be alone with the Divine no matter what the season.  Walking in the rain, sun, leaves, or snow can help focus on a sacred space within where we can celebrate our inner strengths.

Having a sacred space has everything to do with our personal faith or belief system.  It is a place we have been so frequently, we immediately slide into a contemplative mind frame, feeling safe and not distracted by surroundings. 

Many women in particular feel drawn to rituals that are not offered within the confines of their organized religion or desire to experience the sense of ritual in a more frequent and private way.  For some, lighting a candle to celebrate their life or sipping a glass of wine while listening to relaxing music or brewing a favorite tea to accompany the reading of poems and favorite writings.  Catching thoughts in a journal or randomly sketching brings us closer to our source. 

The Holidays are fast upon us with a new year approaching.  Memories of loved ones, career disappointments, neglected goals, and required tasks squeeze us with pressure.  It is important for us to have a sacred space we can visit every day even if just for a few minutes.  We need to refresh and restore.

If you do not have a sacred space, just momentarily close your eyes and visualize a space where you are safe, nourished, and can rest.  Celebrate your self and recall the goodness in others so that you can joyfully face another day.

Adorn Yourself Accordingly ...

Know first who you are,

and then adorn yourself

accordingly.

Epictetus

Stoic, AD 55

A few years ago, I was gathered with some women exploring our spiritual beliefs and personal truths.  The conversation wandered into a discussion about  the image we project onto others.  Unexpectedly, a very dear friend pointed at me and exclaimed, "Well, look at you.  You are all decorated like a tree!"   I was so caught off guard, I quickly withdrew into myself and allowed the conversation to move forward by saying, "Why thank you!" I felt embarrassed, defensive, and hurt. 

I tried very hard not to feel that this was a personal attack, but more of an observation regarding the diversity of women.  I believe that it was pointing out the differences between good friends. Later, in the safety of my home, I reviewed this bothersome remark.

When I no longer felt defensive, I began to explore the evolution of my dress code which ran parallel to the unfolding of my spiritual life.  All of the changes that occured on the inside of me, were eventually reflected on the outside.

As a little girl, I was dressed in feminine attire until I morphed into a 'tom boy'.  Entering a private college prep academy, I quickly realized I was totally out of my league in fashion.  When I left for college, I packed one pair of black flats and one pair of navy blue heels.  Fortunately, my college roommate and I were able to swap clothes frequently.  My interest in clothes accompanied my marriage, but was quickly replaced with pregnancies and booties. 

After having my three boys, I was gifted with a daughter on Mother's Day.  Into my life came patent leather shoes, little gloves, smocked dresses and matching bonnets.  There was enormous pleasure in dressing this beautiful child.

Once I returned to a professional career, years later, my respect for myself began to flourish.  I was not fanciful, but tailored clothes were a must.  It was during these later years that my spiritual self joined forces with my physical self producing a confidence that was reflected in some flair.

As my daughter entered a professional career, she too fashioned a style of her own, and repeatedly assisted in discovering designs suited for myself.  I had a multitude of shoes, suits and a casual wear.  I developed a very good sense of color scheme accented by unique jewelry.  I liked who I was and thoroughly enjoyed dressing in what reflected how I felt.

Self-discovery brought me to compassion and acceptance of myself.  Nurturing myself comforted my wounded child and love became possible.  In celebration, I adorned my body accordingly. 

Each of us will choose what feels comfortable on us.  Our apparel may change from hour to hour or day to day.   We may have a set uniform that we can live in repeatedly and indefinitely.  It does not matter, but realize there is choice for all of us.

Celebrate yourself! Be festive in your own way!  Use music, dance, and poetry to herald the unfolding of your beautiful self.  And if someone says you are lit up like a tree ... know your internal light and the loving kindness of your heart is shining through for all to see!

The Reliable Wife

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.  ~Charles W. Eliot

Book Club was held on this very dreary day.  Women gathered around a table to discuss the book entitled THE RELIABLE WIFE written by Robert Goolrich.  The leader, a substitute, was organized and prepared.  An interesting discussion followed.

It was amazing to me how 18 women could read the same book and report with such varied impressions.  Some remarked about the structure of the writing while others commented on the style.  All of the characters were analyzed with attention to both the dark and light sides of their personality.  Learning about the personal life of the author offered a new insight into the subject matter. 

This evening I will settle into my chair and cover myself with a favorite old quilt.  A candle will be glowing and a cup of hot chocolate with a dash of peppermint schnapps just might make this scene picture perfect.  I can almost feel my body gently relaxing while the heaviness of the day slides away. 

For hours I will escape into the words of another writer, finding challenge, wisdom, and hope.  I may even give more thought to the interpretation of being a RELIABLE WIFE.   Inspiration will once again accompany me to my bed and be my faithful bedfellow.