Wish for Thee ...

And so may it be for thee,
And so may if be for me,
And so may it be for all of us.

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes



Over the years, as women grow into their wisdom, they are able to look back over their lives and see previous struggles as lessons rather than misfortune or other personal recriminations.  They begin to understand the greater purpose or the bigger picture that was not as apparent earlier on.  As a tree's roots grow gnarly securing it into the ground, so does a woman's history. 

Experiences carve out greater space for compassion, tolerance, and pain.  The depth of feelings embolden, create passion, and determination.  The true strength of women is not gauged by physical abilities, but by the use of intelligence combined with intuition, creativity and a spiritual bond with the sacred.

Women, especially those I call sisters of the heart, have taught me so much about my self.  Through kind words, encouragement, and sincere relationships, I have been able to accept my faults as well as my strengths.  They have carried me when I could no longer walk.  They sheltered me until I was strong.  They shared their stories and listened intently to my own.  The memory of their songs will forever lift my spirit and their dances and drumming will keep beat with my heart. 

It is through this feminine energy that I learned to embrace all of nature and to see God in all things.  I find glimpses of holiness in the small song birds, the heavy fragrances of the flowers, and the wind blowing through the ancient trees.  I witness it in  the kind acts of others and the warm embrace of a friend.  I experience the sacred as we honor one and the other and find freedom through respect of diversity.
What I wish for me, I do sincerely wish for thee ...

Light Around You

Give light and people will find the way.

Ella Baker

A few days ago, I got stuck in an old emotional pattern.   Just one small negative thought crossed my mind, and instead of letting it slide right on through, it lodged itself in a web hanging in darkness.  The one small thought gathered other negative thoughts into the sticky web, growing in size.  One small thought became a wad of worry, concern, and fear.

I sent a quick e-mail to my women's circle, asking for them to place me in the circle of light at their gathering as I would be absent.  Almost immediately, I received uplifting responses.  The best was: "Just put that light around you now!  We will miss you!"

My friend's kind suggestion to use light, empowered me to take immediate action for myself.  Her simple words lifted my spirits, "We will miss you!"  I felt so much better.

The Circle of Women I meet with weekly always offers light to our loved ones, to those needing support, to those surrounding us in life, to the community, to the state, to the world.  We send light to those who may be homeless, hungry, ill or isolated.  For this brief time in our circle, we feel strongly connected with all people, tied by our compassionate hearts, universal love and oneness.

We truly need to remember to use our voices, to reach out and ask for help.  We must also be mindful that sending light or prayer can be very sporadic and brief, not time consuming.  When we are prompted to check on someone, to call or e-mail, I believe it is DIVINE SPIRIT working through us to assist someone else.  We need to respect these 'nudges' and follow through.

Holding my light, rekindled by the light of others, surely I will find my way!

Brunch, No Cinnamon Rolls!

In every one's life, at some time, our fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

~Albert Schweitzer


After quite a long spell, two of my favorite friends invited me to their home for brunch.  We had a lot of catching up to do, and they asked if I would bring my home baked cinnamon rolls.  I was mindful to prepare the yeast rolls the night before our brunch so by morning they would be twice their size and fluffy. 
While I got ready to go, I popped the rolls in the oven.  When they were golden, I added some special ingredients and then topped them off with a cream cheese icing.  DELICIOUS!

I gathered my things, and I was about to walk out the door, I remembered that I wanted to bring my friends tomatoes from our backyard.  I set everything down, grabbed a bag and went out to pick grape, Roma, and Big Boy tomatoes. 

Again, ready to leave, I had another thought.  I'd really like to bring them some flowers.  So back outside I went.  I snipped some asparagus fern, a few leafy stems from the holly bush, and then asters, Mexican heather, lavender, sage, and zinnias.  Pleased with my random collection, I popped them into an old favorite bottle, placing one yellow ribbon around the neck.  PERFECT!

Feeling really festive, I threw a batch of Sangria together ... white moscado, peach liqueur, and sprite, adding fresh peaches, strawberries and blueberries.  Now I was ready to attend the brunch!

Arriving twenty minutes late, which is definitely not my style, I offered sincere apologies for my delay.  I anxiously unpacked my car ... Sangria, tomatoes, flowers ... but no cinnamon rolls!  I had packed everything BUT the cinnamon rolls! 

Boy did I ever get teased!  Throughout the morning, my friends took turns causing laughter by saying:  "Pass the cinnamon rolls, please.  Oh, that's right, we don't have any!  Boy, I sure am hungry for a cinnamon roll, we should have asked someone to bake some!" 

Sisters of my heart, great conversation, and sharing of our food ... all makings for a perfect gathering.  In spite of the teasing, my spirit was rekindled by their love, compassion, and acceptance.  Driving home, I was both grateful and thankful for the beauty brought so generously into my life by these two lovely souls.  Their presence in my life is indeed a present!

Loving Self .... OSHO

Love Yourself You will feel the most significant experience, you will become ecstatic if you can feel that the whole existence needs you, that you will be missed, that if you are not here there will be a gap, you will be missed. You are not unnecessary, you are not superfluous; you have tremendous significance. Hence, love yourself. You are needed as much as the trees, as the flowers, as the birds, as the sun, as the moon, as the stars. You have to be here and you have a right to be the way you are. Osho If you do not have the sense that you need to be you, please have the sense to know that I need you to be you!

A Friend Indeed

 

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.  The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward.  When we are listened to, it creates us, make us unfold and expand.

 

Shel Silverstein

 

 

Attending a spiritual gathering, I found myself racing through the parking lot.  On my way,  I noticed a license plate that I was certain I had seen in my neighborhood.  I walk most every day, taking in the birds, flower beds, trees, homes and license plates on cars.

 

Upon entering the building, I started asking several of my friends about who owned the car with this particular license plate.  As soon as the woman was pointed out to me, I knew we had never met. 

 

After the gathering, I approached this woman and introduced myself.  Our brief exchange was enough to determine that we had an instant connection.  We ended up car pooling a few times, then coffee, and then lunch meetings.  We discovered we had numerous friends in common and quickly became friends.

 

A few years have passed now and this woman easily has become a 'sister of my heart'.  Although she would sometimes say I am the teacher, she needs to remember that the teacher frequently becomes the student.  I have learned about her compassion, resilience, and desire to extend loving kindness to others.  She does not really realize how she is frequently pulled into situations where she becomes an angel in disguise.  She is more than willing to allow Spirit to use her in helping others above and beyond the expected. 

 

Life continues to challenge her, but optimistic she remains.  She is mindful to replenish her spirit so she can continue to generously give to unsuspecting souls.  Opportunities present themselves to her regularly allowing others to share their story as she is a wonderful listener.  She offers compassion without any trace of judgment or expectation in return.

 

Her friendship has been a gift to me and I treasure her presence in my life.  Our special relationship continues to expand and unfold as we lovingly open our hearts and souls.

 

 

 

 

Linger in my Heart

If there comes a day

when we can't be together,

keep me in your heart,

I'll stay there forever.

A. A. Milne

Winnie the Pooh

The most valuable gifts in my life have been friendships.  I have always been a person to be surrounded by people, but few did I ever really let in.  The ones I allowed to enter, still linger in my heart.

For me, friendship is best compared to a large old white house with a front porch and a pretty fenced in yard.  There are passers-by I would be happy to hang over the fence and chat with, but I would not want to open my gate.  There are others who I welcomed into my yard, but very few were invited onto my porch.  To make it to my porch swing where stories were shared was quite an accomplishment.  Then there were the small handful who actually made it in through the front door.  They were my forever friends.

It is interesting to look back over my life and recall the women who significantly impacted me.  None are necessarily alike in appearance or life choices, but they all are heart connected. 

Once firmly on my spiritual path, I began to gather a Circle of Women as I needed heart felt exchange, support, and insight.  Since then I have led several circles and learned deeply from them all. 

Then there were the women who somehow grew to be more than friends.  They became Sisters of my Heart and we shared a bond that went beyond words and time. 

I have always been attracted to a diverse population of women.  I have such a thirst to discover all fabrics, to examine all weaves, and to create a rich and colorful tapestry in my life.  Some strands have snagged, some threads have faded, but all of these loved ones continue to be the pattern warming my soul.

I can only hope that I have meant something to them as well, these Circles of Women and Sisters of my Heart.  I linger in their hearts, still.

  

  

Blown Away

Love comes unseen;

we only see it go.

Austin Dobson

We are all multi-sided individuals, creating different sides to one personality.  There are masks to give the appearance of what we are not or to hide what we are.  It is rare that we show all sides of ourselves to one person.

I was thinking of my children and how they would describe me or remember me when I have passed.  They knew me very well as a mother and a grandmother, but what about the other parts of me?

There are those from my career that knew what high standards I held for myself and what ethics I maintained for all people.  Privately, however, they really knew very little about me.

Sisters of my heart, my very dearest of friends, know me very deeply.  They have been present during my anger, pain, and joy.  They have witnessed my unfolding with encouragement and support.  And yet, there is much they do not know.

My daughter, perhaps, knows me best of all having been so constant and loving in my life over the years.  She has seen many sides of me and embraced me when times were very difficult.  The truth remains, she has never walked around in my mind where unexplainable knowledge resides.

As I grow older, I have integrated my private self with my public self by being less public and more out spoken in private.  There is less motivation to be 'known' as I do feel understood, accepted and loved.

There is so much left inside of me however, I feel all of this seeking and recording will have been in vain.  Like leaves falling from the branches of the trees, my most inner thoughts will be blown away by the wind. 

 

Erasing Decisions

Memories, all those little experiences make up the fabric of our lives.  I wouldn't want to erase any of them, tempting though it may be. 


~Ben Affleck


"THE GIFTED MAN" is a television show I happened to be watching last week.  I listened to a conversation between a medical doctor (neurosurgeon) and his deceased wife, also a medical doctor (head physician at a free clinic).  Apparently, they had had a less than perfect marriage and the wife who is a ghost, asks of her husband, "Would you want to erase all of those years together?" 

There are many times in our lives we may wish to have an eraser to delicately erase a situation in our lives or perhaps roughly smudge it out.  If we look beyond the moment, however, I believe it would be in our best interest to let life unfold on its own without our censorship.

Repressing experiences or thoughts is not healthy for anyone, so I am not suggesting to do this.  I am suggesting to explore the difficult situations, extract the lessons, and earmark what good accompanied the situation. 

When I examine what erasures I would be tempted to make, divorce almost always rears its head; but where would I start erasing ... before the marriage, during, or after?  If I erase the entire marriage, I would also be eliminating my children.  If I erased the location of that part of my life, I would also be erasing a few close friends that have remained 'sisters of my heart'.  So if I would just erase the dysfunctional elements of the marriage, would I still have learned the lessons within that made me who I am today?

One time, I purchased a bottle of Roundup to kill some weeds invading my driveway.  I thought this to be a perfect solution as I was not one to extract weeds at leisure.  This would give me a permanent solution and it would be so much faster.   Then I read the instructions and cautions.  Slowly questions began to form in my mind like wily weeds creeping into my yard.  What if this poison killed my grass or thriving flowers?  What if future plants could not grow in the tainted soil?  Would there be chemical damage to mother earth herself?  My mind wouldn't stop.  End result was I didn't want to have this kind of power, to use a fast solution that really might have unforseen permanent results.

If havoc is running rapid through our lives, it is tempting to erase it; but only in the moment.  As we look with hindsight, we see with different eyes.  Yes, we would do things differently if we had the chance, but if not those particular lessons, surely new ones would replace the old.

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over,"  asks John Wooden. It does seem to me when we miss a lesson, life is more than willing to run it past us one more time, only a little bit more challenging to secure our attention.

It is the same when viewing the lives of others.  No matter how inviting some one else's life may look, I don't want it.  I never know what challenges they face and I would really rather just deal with my own personal set.  I figure I am learning what I need to know coming from the Divine.  Spirit uses a much wider lens and creates greater intention!

Girls In My Circle

***This last Christmas at my women's circle, Mary, a dear 'sister of my heart', shared this poem.  I have no idea who the author is or what resource from which it was taken.


GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another, 'Let's fight together,'
Another, 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ...
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several.
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

Walking Home ...

"We're all just walking

each other home."

Ram Dass

This morning I received the above quote by Ram Dass from my dear 'sister of the heart', Nancy (nanyoga-alongthepath.blogspot.com).  It resonated warm feelings within me.

Immediately, my memories turned back to childhood where friends walked everywhere, usually joined arm in arm.  We would 'meet in the middle' or walk each other half way home or walk to school together.  As a child, the walk was a sacred time to share hidden dreams,  sadness and secret crushes on boys in our class.  These walks provided time to feel safe with each other, reducing any fears that might bubble up in our little world.

So with this image of us all being friends walking 'home' together, I feel happy and safe ... not quite so alone while following my sacred path.