Unfolding Parts of the Self

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”       

~Anais Nin




Change has never been one of my mastered areas as I lean more towards permanency.  I feel more comfortable  when things are the way I expect them to be; but then there suddenly seems to be a time when I want to rearrange everything as I have grown bored or feel stagnant.

Change is a constant in life, challenging us whenever we feel settled about an issue, situation, or location.  Change can shift our emotions and how we feel within seconds even though we may not be aware of the cause and effect until a much later time.

We are multi-faceted human beings.  We are not just one solid body of thought, word, or deed. We are made up of differing parts.  Our cause and effect, or ability to respond, or inconsistencies can vary from moment to moment or conversely may not shift for years.

We may be a professional flying to different cities daily, sleeping in different hotels every night and eating meals at random.  We may love this style of life, but when we return to our home, if one thing is out of place, we may go ballistic!  We may stay up late into the night arguing to win our partner over to our side.  Then first thing in the morning, our partner openly agrees, but we sometimes respond with, "No, I have changed my mind."

Not only are our parts vastly different from each other, they are also given to change.  We are similar to massive computers with files being added to regularly or transferred or deleted and then retrieved from the recycle bin!  We need to know ourselves well so we can recognize when we are on the cusp of real change or a fanciful whim. 

It is beneficial to listen to all parts of the self, as each part needs some level of honor and respect.  In other words, we need to create balance between all of our varying needs.  If we pay attention, we will recognize which part of our self is trying to get attention and to what degree we want to give it.

Sometimes our behavior may surprise us.  We may ask, "Where did that come from?"  We all are exposed to negative energy, and we are all confronted with change, creating a cause and effect.  If we take the time to know our selves very well, we can more readily anticipate our reaction and smoothly move through the currents of life.   If we rush through life, ignoring or repressing parts of our self, it will be a bumpy road.

Our Work of Art



It is the function of art to renew our perception.  What we are familiar with we cease to see.  The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.

~Anais Nin

When we travel, we usually spend time in art galleries.  I have an appreciation for most things I see, but I do not necessarily like it all.  I have come to understand, however, the more exposed I am to different artists, my preferences change and my appreciation in general grows.  In addition, the more I view a piece of art, my response to it alters.

When I met a friend for coffee the other day, we realized through conversation we had a mutual friend.  I had known the person mentioned for many years and thought I knew her quite well.  As my coffee companion shared how she knew this friend, I was amazed at how much more she had learned about her and in a very short period of time. 

Later, as I thought back over the conversation about this mutual friend.  I wondered if I was not like a photographer, snapping a picture of some one and then keeping her in this singular captured vision.  I apparently had been seeing my friend in a freeze frame photo ... exclusively in the one capacity that I had met her.  For whatever reason our relationship was always contained in only one aspect of our lives.   

When we place friends in categories ... work, church, community, family ... we restrict our view by seeing just one aspect of them.  It is when we experience friends in different situations that we begin to see the art of life in totality.

When we view a person only from one perspective, we not only miss personal diversity, we may begin to gloss over or take for granted what little we do know.  Human beings are complex individuals with an abundance of originality.

So I begin to look with new eyes and listen with both ears to discover more deeply the art of friendship.  I think this is especially true with acquaintances we "think" we have nothing in common with.  It is impossible to hold the expectation of deeply appreciating every person we meet.  It is possible, however, to listen and observe until we can appreciate multiple aspects of those we hold dear.   We are all evolving and constantly redefining our lives, our works of art. 

Author of Our Own Life

If you do not breathe through writing,

if you do not cry out in writing,

or sing in writing,

then don't write,

because our culture has no use for it.

Anais Nin

Writing can be very intimidating, but it also can be very freeing. I am most attracted to personal writing as we are author of our own life.  We live according to what we personally perceive, sense, intuit, experience, and believe.  We react and act through our own personal filters.  The written word gives testimony of life itself.

Our writing can be:  lists, notes, diaries, letters, journals, articles, or books to name but a few.  Some insist upon the hand written word with special pens, where as others exclusively use a computer. People use spiral notebooks, composition books, fine linen stationary or keep files on their computer.   I believe writers need to honor the method that works best for them.

Many people have said to me, "I want to write, but I don't have the skill." If we are alive, we have something worth sharing and we don't need a special skill!  I encourage others to write just for personal pleasure rather than trying to perfect words for publication.  In time, a writer may or may not want to broaden the audience.

Giving testimony of our life can be a liberation from the past or self-imposed limitations.  Our words placed into a safe place can be a wonderful mental health remedy.  We can scream, laugh, and express any and every emotion that is otherwise held within causing stress, anxiety or disease. 

As the author of our own life, what we write definitely helps our selves, but also can benefit others.  By sharing a personal story encouragement can be offered to others.  The reporting of a struggle can inspire an other to seek help or not feel so alone.  To use the voice to speak truth, those who hear can stretch and grow. 

My passion is the written word.  If I can touch but one life with my words, my mission has been fulfilled.

Healing Bubbles

  He does not need opium.

He has the gift of reverie.

~Anais Nin

For several days, I have been challenged by a throbbing pain.  I believe in the body, mind, and spirit connection, so safely placed my body in the hands of one of many respected energy worker friends.  She successfully manipulated my body, softly led me into a meditative state, and shared insights from her hands on work.  This experience was quite revealing which is why it is important to be with those you trust.

My body was able to relax on the table while it was being massaged.  Then it widely opened to the energy work at hand.  Guided back through several days, I was able to pin point what action was causing this pain.  Once I recognized the behavior that became the trigger, I was able to go back even farther to see earlier patterns of this behavior.

While visualizing, I saw the cells in my body all cramped and repressed.  I mentally began to separate them and cleanse them, allowing them to float freely.  In doing so, I was reminded of my bubble machine and how much I enjoyed watching bubbles float in the air.  It was easy for me to connect the cleansing of my cells with my love for floating bubbles. 

For me, creative visualization or the gift of reverie, is very potent.  I am blessed to be able to see vibrant colors accompanied by what I will call 'knowings' or reflections.  I truly believe that our thoughts when ignored become lodged in our bodies.  When we disregard the beginning of discomfort and continue with our thoughts, the discomfort can stretch into pain, trying to get our attention.

Yes, in truth, I still have pain, but it is most definitely modified.  Once I was able to connect the pain with my action, I felt a release.  Now through contemplation, I can keep going back to root out and understand these actions that cause me pain.  I can also be aware daily to correct the thoughts that trigger this pain.

Energy workers shift our energy that has become blocked by actions, behaviors or trauma.  They balance the body so that the energy can flow in its natural state.  I once again feel peaceful and balanced.  I am deeply grateful for the loving kindness of my friend who so generously shares her gifts with me as well as others.  May the blessings be.

Valentine's Day

The value of the personal relationship

to all things

is that it creates intimacy

and intimacy creates understanding

and understanding creates love.

Anais Nin

I am thankful for all of my friendships that embrace my life just as it is.  I am grateful for all of the wise women and sisters of my heart who empower me through their own diversity and unconditional love.  

I am blessed to have love in my life in spite of challenge and change.  The power of forgiveness, wisdom, and insight creates a safe haven where I can begin anew.  I am ever so hopeful that the change in an other can be a catalyst for change together. 

My heart is continuously touched by the hands of friends, children, grandchildren and 'family' I meet along the way.  Without my boys and the never wavering love of my daughter, I would not be here today.

May your hearts be filled with love today ...
and every day!

Remaining Tight in the Bud ...

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it takes to blossom."



Anais Nin


The process of unfolding seems to start quietly with sudden episodes of closing in on the inner self.  Withstanding seasons of wind, rain, and snow growth brings strength to hold self open stretching towards the sun in front of either friend or foe. 

Within the depths of spirituality, clearly one discovers true identity, but frequently in the midst of this earthly place fear overwhelms and ego soars out of control.  "Who do you think you are," asks the dark voice hiding in the shadow.  As if on cue, the tape recorder in one's mind instantly replays every slight, disappointment, and emotional mishap in personal life.  It is as though someone has carelessly yanked at your roots threatening depths of despair. 

Courage begins to glow within the darkness remembering the power of love, energy, and light.  The time comes to face the fear that haunts.  The presence of all that is, the divinity of life, steps through the illusion of what has been allowed to hold the inner self in place.  The movement dissolves the imaginary shackles upon the wrists and awakens the gift of freedom that is waiting patiently within.

Each time one dares to unfold, a fuller awareness begins to awaken and the need to be entirely committed to the spiritual tasks at hand pulls the self into a higher dimension of understanding.  The contrast between living life small and blossoming at long last becomes too great to ignore. 

Even with the warm pulse of spirit vibrating within, it is still difficult to let go of life as one knows it.  It is challenging to step away from all that appears to be security, to take the risk of being whole, and to be a beacon of light for those who follow. 

Once the temptation to remain tightly closed is overcome, running the risk to be whole is invigorating.  Empowerment eliminates the bind as though weeds have been untangled from the rich soil, making room for personal wholeness and invincible energy.

To be fully in bloom one feels the warmth of spirit shining and lighting the way.  To open petals with grace brings beauty and honor to the soul.  To breathe in the fragrance of fulfillment establishes an everlasting sense of joy.  In doing so, one becomes a part of the worlds most beautiful bouquet.