Out of My Grasp

Arrange whatever pieces come your way.

Virginia Woolf

This morning I explored highlighted sections in several of my books.  I had not remained with one theme, rather reading anything and everything.  The results had been overwhelming.  There were so many fragments, each exploded in my mind, and demanded more attention.  So instead of streamlining into one flowing thought, I had been bombarded by every worldly thought.  I knew the best way for me to simplify would be to retreat into the stillness of outdoors.

I settled my lovely self out on the back deck.  I breathed in the crisp spring air while I wished for sunshine on my face and hair.  The birds chirped, the rabbit ran away, and the squirrel dared me to stay.  As I watched the clouds as they floated by, I was reminded of Shirley MacLaine's suggested experiment with clouds.  She instructed the reader to choose one cloud out of the sky and to keep eyes locked upon that one cloud.  Permission would be asked of the cloud for it to disappear.  With maintained eye contact the cloud would slowly dissipate. 

When I first read of this experiment, I grew very uncomfortable thinking I might have the power to ask a cloud to disappear.  Besides, clouds had been my childhood friends, so why would I want them to go away?  Curiosity got the best of me, however, so I chose a very small cloud and asked if it would disappear.  I eye-balled it with great intensity, and sure enough, it began to stretch its shape until nothing was there.  It made me feel sad.  It didn't feel right for me to make a game of something so lovely in the sky.

Somewhere in my thoughts, wisdom surely waited.  Unfortunately, it was either too worldly or lofty to be grasped.  I watched the clouds as they gently floated by, unable to formulate words, but I sensed deep within there was so much more to oneness than what really meets the eye.

Reflections

Reflections must be reserved for solitary hours;  whenever she was alone, she gave way to it as the greatest relief;  and not a day
went by without a solitary walk, in which she might indulge in all the delight of unpleasant recollections.

Jane Austen


Whether we are gazing into a mirror or a crystal clear lake, we find ourselves pondering the discrepancy we feel between the image being reflected and our true inner selves.  There may be times we wonder who that person is staring back at us. 

Catching a glimpse of our reflection may even startle us as we may have distanced ourselves completely from our image.  Or the opposite can be true.  We may feel so fragmented, we know who is in the reflection, but not the identity of who we are inside.

There are many of us who have stopped looking into the mirror.  We may brush our teeth, touch up our makeup, or comb our hair without looking into our very own eyes.  By not looking into the reflection of the mirror, we can avoid the aging process or the deception we may feel from not living as our true selves.

Look into the eyes in the mirror, disregarding all flaws and imperfections.  Connect with the image returning a gaze and practice saying, "I love you!"

Healing Bubbles

  He does not need opium.

He has the gift of reverie.

~Anais Nin

For several days, I have been challenged by a throbbing pain.  I believe in the body, mind, and spirit connection, so safely placed my body in the hands of one of many respected energy worker friends.  She successfully manipulated my body, softly led me into a meditative state, and shared insights from her hands on work.  This experience was quite revealing which is why it is important to be with those you trust.

My body was able to relax on the table while it was being massaged.  Then it widely opened to the energy work at hand.  Guided back through several days, I was able to pin point what action was causing this pain.  Once I recognized the behavior that became the trigger, I was able to go back even farther to see earlier patterns of this behavior.

While visualizing, I saw the cells in my body all cramped and repressed.  I mentally began to separate them and cleanse them, allowing them to float freely.  In doing so, I was reminded of my bubble machine and how much I enjoyed watching bubbles float in the air.  It was easy for me to connect the cleansing of my cells with my love for floating bubbles. 

For me, creative visualization or the gift of reverie, is very potent.  I am blessed to be able to see vibrant colors accompanied by what I will call 'knowings' or reflections.  I truly believe that our thoughts when ignored become lodged in our bodies.  When we disregard the beginning of discomfort and continue with our thoughts, the discomfort can stretch into pain, trying to get our attention.

Yes, in truth, I still have pain, but it is most definitely modified.  Once I was able to connect the pain with my action, I felt a release.  Now through contemplation, I can keep going back to root out and understand these actions that cause me pain.  I can also be aware daily to correct the thoughts that trigger this pain.

Energy workers shift our energy that has become blocked by actions, behaviors or trauma.  They balance the body so that the energy can flow in its natural state.  I once again feel peaceful and balanced.  I am deeply grateful for the loving kindness of my friend who so generously shares her gifts with me as well as others.  May the blessings be.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

 There is in every true woman's heart

a spark of heavenly fire,

which lies dormant

in the broad daylight of prosperity;

but which kindles up, and beams and blazes

in the dark hour of adversity.

Washington Irving

THE SKETCH BOOK, 1820

My thoughts grow conflicted when I ponder words of judgment like good, bad, and ugly.  I have known people who have portrayed themselves as good, but who have fallen far from the mark.  I have never really thought of people as being bad, but have known those displaying very demented behaviors.  And as for ugly, isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?

There have been some things I once considered good for me, but now with science's advanced research I realize they are bad for me.   There are some actions I once thought were bad, like not attending church, but I definitely no longer hold that to the extreme.  There are objects that I once found to be ugly, but they have grown on me as my tastes have changed.

The basic nature of man is goodness, but through bad choices, he can appear to be ugly.  With so many varying factors, how in the world can I align my thoughts and make a decision!  Perhaps this is the point.  In many cases I will never know the truth of the matter and so I will never be able to decide.  More to the point, perhaps one never needs to decide on matters he or she knows nothing about.

So I don't sit in judgment.  I listen and watch, and I may assess and process, but I do not become rigid in my conclusions.  To form rigid judgments is just being opinionated.  It is good to have an opinion if you can leave your mind open for other consideration.  Many people have used the saying, "The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open!"

Do not misunderstand.  I do have passions of the heart, mind, and soul.  I will hold my tongue respecting others right to voice until I am disrespected my self.  Then my spiritual light ignites and hardily beams and blazes.  I will say my truth with clarity and dignity holding an open heart with compassion for others ... hopefully tempering the good, the bad, and the ugly.