Out of My Grasp

Arrange whatever pieces come your way.

Virginia Woolf

This morning I explored highlighted sections in several of my books.  I had not remained with one theme, rather reading anything and everything.  The results had been overwhelming.  There were so many fragments, each exploded in my mind, and demanded more attention.  So instead of streamlining into one flowing thought, I had been bombarded by every worldly thought.  I knew the best way for me to simplify would be to retreat into the stillness of outdoors.

I settled my lovely self out on the back deck.  I breathed in the crisp spring air while I wished for sunshine on my face and hair.  The birds chirped, the rabbit ran away, and the squirrel dared me to stay.  As I watched the clouds as they floated by, I was reminded of Shirley MacLaine's suggested experiment with clouds.  She instructed the reader to choose one cloud out of the sky and to keep eyes locked upon that one cloud.  Permission would be asked of the cloud for it to disappear.  With maintained eye contact the cloud would slowly dissipate. 

When I first read of this experiment, I grew very uncomfortable thinking I might have the power to ask a cloud to disappear.  Besides, clouds had been my childhood friends, so why would I want them to go away?  Curiosity got the best of me, however, so I chose a very small cloud and asked if it would disappear.  I eye-balled it with great intensity, and sure enough, it began to stretch its shape until nothing was there.  It made me feel sad.  It didn't feel right for me to make a game of something so lovely in the sky.

Somewhere in my thoughts, wisdom surely waited.  Unfortunately, it was either too worldly or lofty to be grasped.  I watched the clouds as they gently floated by, unable to formulate words, but I sensed deep within there was so much more to oneness than what really meets the eye.