"If you truly want to be understood,
you need to say everything three times,
in three different ways.
Once for each ear ...
and once for the heart.
Paula Underwood Spencer
When sharing wisdom or fleeting insight, my long time mentor tells me "We have the right to speak our truth once. Then let it go." If the listener does not absorb what I have said, then it is not their truth or they are not open to the insight. I have the right to speak my truth, to share what I know, but I honor my self be speaking only once.
It is quite another story, however, when I am speaking to myself. Initially, I listen to how this information sounds to me. Does it resonate, stir discomfort in my belly or have no significance whatsoever. Then I will usually journal this morsel of information to expand upon it, to see how it fits with other ideas or beliefs. Often times I will forget the snippet of insight, until I am harvesting my journals, reading it once again. By this time, the third time, the wisdom is either locked in or disregarded.
Information may retain the exact same content and yet we may hear it in different ways at other times. Much depends upon our frame of mind or our immediate environment. It makes a difference if we are relaxed with our heart open or stressed already on overload. So it is beneficial to take our time with information rather than dismissing immediately.
A sister of my heart will frequently respond with, "I don't know. I have to sit with this for awhile." It reminds me of being a young parent of four with demands for immediate answers. I framed my response to be: "If you want an answer right this minute, it is no. If you want to give me a little time to think about it, the answer still may be no, but it could be yes!"
As I speak these words, I know many will say, "Time? I don't have time!" But in honesty, you do have the time, you just choose to not use it to benefit yourself in personal ways. If a child becomes sick, he or she is whisked away to the doctor. If mom is sick, she will carry on for days ignoring her health as she has other things to do. If mom doesn't keep herself healthy, nurtured, and respected, everyone surrounding her will suffer in varying ways. It is important to remember we are role modeling to others how to care for themselves. It is false thinking to believe we need to be 'stoic'.
We have the right of choice. We can choose to change our minds. We can have a different response the second time we run information through our mind, and reach out by saying, "You no, I declined first time around, but I sure would like to help if it is still needed." Of course, the opposite is equally true. Even though we thoughtlessly committed, we can apologize and withdraw.
Decisions are important, even small ones. Spontaneity is one thing, but taking time to really touch the heart of the matter works wonders. It strengthens our decision making, it preserves our integrity, and things just unfold a little more smoothly.
It is quite another story, however, when I am speaking to myself. Initially, I listen to how this information sounds to me. Does it resonate, stir discomfort in my belly or have no significance whatsoever. Then I will usually journal this morsel of information to expand upon it, to see how it fits with other ideas or beliefs. Often times I will forget the snippet of insight, until I am harvesting my journals, reading it once again. By this time, the third time, the wisdom is either locked in or disregarded.
Information may retain the exact same content and yet we may hear it in different ways at other times. Much depends upon our frame of mind or our immediate environment. It makes a difference if we are relaxed with our heart open or stressed already on overload. So it is beneficial to take our time with information rather than dismissing immediately.
A sister of my heart will frequently respond with, "I don't know. I have to sit with this for awhile." It reminds me of being a young parent of four with demands for immediate answers. I framed my response to be: "If you want an answer right this minute, it is no. If you want to give me a little time to think about it, the answer still may be no, but it could be yes!"
As I speak these words, I know many will say, "Time? I don't have time!" But in honesty, you do have the time, you just choose to not use it to benefit yourself in personal ways. If a child becomes sick, he or she is whisked away to the doctor. If mom is sick, she will carry on for days ignoring her health as she has other things to do. If mom doesn't keep herself healthy, nurtured, and respected, everyone surrounding her will suffer in varying ways. It is important to remember we are role modeling to others how to care for themselves. It is false thinking to believe we need to be 'stoic'.
We have the right of choice. We can choose to change our minds. We can have a different response the second time we run information through our mind, and reach out by saying, "You no, I declined first time around, but I sure would like to help if it is still needed." Of course, the opposite is equally true. Even though we thoughtlessly committed, we can apologize and withdraw.
Decisions are important, even small ones. Spontaneity is one thing, but taking time to really touch the heart of the matter works wonders. It strengthens our decision making, it preserves our integrity, and things just unfold a little more smoothly.
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