Pause ... Think ... Speak

"Let your mind be like a tightly woven net

to catch emotions and feelings that come,

and investigate them before you react."

Ajahn Chah

As the winds escort us towards winter, thoughts of the holidays stir our memories.  If we are repressing old anger or resentment, we may retaliate to loved ones around us with unjust cause.  Unexamined emotions can create havoc for ourselves and those surrounding us.  

If we can slow ourselves down, we can create a space for investigation just prior to response.  Think before we speak is great advice.  Are our responses aligned with our immediate situation or are we on automatic pilot from the past?  

When we experience a friend or foe poking at us with an emotional stick, the created space prior to response gives us the option of responding in the manner that most suits us.  We will refrain from an immediate response like a child, and we will not invest energy into a negative conversation.  The majority of the time, the person coming towards us aggressively has issues all of his or her own and have nothing to do with us.  

We can choose to be a mirror to ourselves and to others.  Look into our mirror and ask, "Is this my issue?"  If it is, take the time to  minimize raw feedback.  If it is not our issue, we can mirror back to the person being aggressive.  "Seems like you are having a really rough day," or "This doesn't seem to be the best time," and allow the other person his or her own space to sort through emotions.  

A new holiday jingle: Pause ... Think ... Speak