The Pictures We Paint

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others.  Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval.  Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.   ~  Lao Tzu

Isn't it amazing how we can experience the exact same situation twice, responding in two totally different ways depending upon our mood?  A person can tease us about something, and if we are in a really good mood, we can laugh and shrug it off.  On the other hand, if we are not in a good mood, the teasing can hurt our feelings and leave us brooding ... for hours ... for days ... any maybe even longer.

The other day I came across an old picture of myself.  I instantly remembered this place in time, and the exact same feelings I had felt in that moment spread through my present day body.  I felt fat, ugly, and alone facing a professional dinner where I would know no one.  I knew I would be miserable and dreaded going. 

Holding the picture in my hand, I recalled that the evening introduced me to several new friends as well as professional connections.  Looking into the picture I saw a woman dressed very professionally in a business suit, freshly applied makeup, thick shoulder length glossy hair and a terrific smile.  In short, I would have given anything to look this good again!  I had no idea my waist had been so small! 

So why had I painted this terrible picture of myself those twenty years ago?  Then the dawning ... this picture was taken not long after my divorce.  My self-esteem was shot, I was returning to a career that had been dormant for far too many years, and I was a single mom of four.   I was embarrassed about being divorced and was struggling with shame and guilt for what I termed a "failed" marriage.  

My personal assessment did not paint a very good picture.  Sadly, I was focusing on all of the negative things and my internal critic was running wild.  I had been very frightened of all of the responsibilities facing me.

Looking back at this photo, I saw an entirely different image.  I saw a successful business woman, a dedicated mother, loyal friend, and intensely creative human being.  I did not see these things at the time as I looked through the lens of fear. 

We need to paint better pictures of ourselves.  Throw on the paint using brilliant colors and use a small brush to better define details.  Instead of focusing on shadows, highlight all of the good qualities.  We need to see ourselves in a larger picture with all of our strengths and desires aligned.

Sounds So Simple

Yield and overcome,

empty and be full.

Have little and gain.

Have much and be confused.

Not putting on a display, not justifying,

Not boasting, not bragging.

Be really whole and all things

will come to you.

Lao Tzu

          
The above quote was on my friend's blog:  Nan Yoga-Along the Path.  She has a way of choosing quotes that directly connect with my heart.  These words just resonate within me, (especially the "... empty and be full. Have little and gain" ) although we generally would be thinking the opposite.

At times our lives are so full, we tend to lose our focus or our intentions become diluted.  There is another saying "Less is more," (I don't remember who authored it) which seems contradictory to what our culture believes. 

So if we strive to get rid of excess and what no longer serves us, and open to simple spiritual truth, we will receive what we need.  Life surely would not be as complicated.  It would be more calm, peaceful, honorable and respectful.  Sounds so simple!

 

The Nameless Path

The great square has no corners.

The great vessel takes long to complete;

the great note is rarefied in sound;

The great image has no shape.

The way conceals itself in being nameless.

It is the way alone that excels in bestowing

and in accomplishing.

THE TAO TE CHING

Lao Tzu

(translated by D.C. Laus)

Why is it people, places and things being held in our highest regard frequently cannot be described in words?  How is it when bringing to mind a heart rendering event, emotion overcomes our words? 

So much that is dear to us, cannot be described.  There doesn't seem to be a language known to us that would appropriately encompass all particles of description.  Although artistic expression is an avenue just as the written word, neither captures all of our senses in totality. 

In so many situations, we are left to trust in our lack of description, of our inability to put into words all that we intuit,

and to embrace what I term as "knowing".  It could take a life time to describe in depth one person's definition of the Divine.  One could search for days for words totally embracing the experience of feeling a new born baby's breath against the cheek or breast.  Which words would express entirely the isolation or imprisonment of grief and sorrow from a loved one's death?  The nameless passages in life are endless.

In the words of Lao Tzu, translated by D.C. Laus:

     "The way conceals itself in being nameless."

The sense of absolute is one of quick passing.  We rarely

extend the sense of identity for very long.  So much of life

is unidentified purposefully so that we seek our unique and authentic pathway.

The road I travel still remains nameless and my exact direction continues to be unclear.  Teachers and mentors continue to be exacting road signs on this often times isolated journey; but this nameless path continues to lead me inward where I become less and less of self and expand into all that is.





Simplicity, Patience and Compassion

I have just three things to teach:

simplicity, patience, compassion.

These are your greatest treasures.

Compassionate toward yourself,

you reconcile all beings in the world.

Lao-Tzu

Life gets pretty complicated sometimes.  Unresolved issues and uncontrolled emotions spike up the drama in any situation.  If we try to keep things simple, life unfolds not only more naturally, but more meaningful.

Emotions and issues get in the way of our basic love, honor, and respect for each other.  While someone is being rude to us, instead of directing anger towards them, we can extend compassion for we do not know the burdens they are carrying.  We don't need to accept or condone their actions, but if we can mentally extend loving kindness to them, it just might be a turning point in their day. 

Simplicity and compassion requires patience.  We decide to embrace the world as our brothers and sisters, but we will find ourselves immediately tested by the harshness in the world.  At times we can feel like the only spiritual warrior on the playing field.  Maintaining patience, keeping things simple, and extending compassion we will begin to notice a more peaceful nature to our own lives.

"Be the change you want to see," is a beautiful quote and very much to the point.  We must start with ourselves, our own community, and surrounding environment.  When we begin with ourselves, simple, patient, and compassionate, we are role modeling to others.  We can begin a small ripple that just might turn into a wave that could bring cleansing or healing to faces you will never see. 

We are all in this together.  We each play an independent part, but we are all connected.  We can begin together to make this world a peaceful place to be. 

Life's Spiritual Highways

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path to a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.  Our life is a long and arduous quest after truth.

                                            ~Mahatma Gandhi
                                                   1869-1948


This morning my daily meditations did not quench the thirst I had for inspiration.  I pulled out a few favorite authors and gathered in a new book, searching for quotations that would support my morning musings.

In my older books, I found favorite passages that had been underlined or highlighted.  A certain time or place seemed to accompany the words underscored.   Memories flirted through my mind, not all being pleasant.  

In earlier years, I seemed to believe that I was always a 'better' person when I was in a committed relationship.  I believed that when coupled, I had a stronger base that allowed me to search my truths.  Scanning my intimate relationships, I realized that the exact opposite was actually true.  Every relationship called for me to be 'smaller' rather than greater, not embracing  any sense of who I was trying to become.

Then my fires were fueled by participating in classes, workshops, and seminars.  Years later it seemed that I could be teaching the very classes I found myself being the student.  Then there were teachers who finally escorted me on my way to fend for myself, and not to become a simple follower.

One of life's little rules reflects that when we stop chasing what we want, it has room to finally turn around and approach us.  So it is when we stop running, chasing, or pursuing our search for who we really are, we learn to be strong enough to stand in stillness.   It is in this self defined silence that answers seem to appear.

It can be frightening to be still and sense the wisdom flowing through our consciousness.   That which we sought after gently comes to us and we respond in fear.  We doubt our sanity, we question what appears to us, and we find our inner self being repressed.  Once again, we start with the running or chasing.  We run from our own wisdom even though it is what we had pursued.

Free will allows us to roam life's spiritual highways, until Divine finally nudges back in the right direction...inwards.  This time around we are more capable of accepting the inner truths and respecting the integrity of our personal longing.  It is only after we strip away the layers of earlier learning, the conditioning, that we can finally discover the wisdom being passed down througout the centuries.

"Silence is a source of great strength," states Lao Tzu. 

When we grow comfortable with our spiritual quietude, and learn a greater sense of  who we are, our voices grow strong.  We feel safe being present in any given moment, articulating our truth, and finding safe passage down Life's Spiritual Highway.