When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.
Elizabeth Gilbert
Eat, Pray, Love
Loneliness impacts all of us from time to time. It is a part of being human, but it does have a remedy for all levels of experiencing life. Loneliness is especially present during the Christmas Holidays.
We may originally believe that loneliness comes to those who are physically alone, but this is not accurate at all. There are many people who are surrounded by others and yet feel totally alone. There are also those who live totally removed from all others and yet do not experience an over abundance of loneliness.
Let us just accept that loneliness is no stranger to anyone. It is similar to being angry. We all experience anger at some level and we have a choice as to what to do with it. We know there are appropriate ways of releasing anger just as there are inappropriate ways. The same holds true for loneliness.
Prior to being lonely, it is ideal to make a list of things to do:
1. Take a leisurely bath with a candle, music, and good book.
2. Buy yourself flowers.
3. Invite friends over for a potluck.
4. Go to a movie, museum, art gallery, library ...
5. Curl up in your favorite chair and read.
6. Settle in and meditate or pray.
7. Journal
8. Get out in nature.
When we normalize loneliness, we can move on to the remedy. When we can see it as a state of being, accept it, and remind our selves that it won't stay forever, we already begin to feel encouraged. It is helpful to be aware of when we most likely will have the sensation of loneliness. Identify triggers like over working, unbalanced social and private time, not enough sleep, not eating correctly, or a particular time of the year.
Granted, loneliness is experienced differently for each of us, but we all share in the experience. If we but dare to embrace it with appropriate actions, we will not find ourselves in desperate situations that will be regretted immediately.
Resolution resides inside each of us when we connect with Spirit and move past the illusion of separateness. Spirit is always with us, but Divine wisdom is difficult to hear when we are self-absorbed. We need to be patient with our 'self' and remember loneliness shall pass. It just passes more quickly if we honor and respect ourselves with appropriate behaviors.
