Element of Exposure

 

"Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."

Brene Brown

A discussion was unfolding and there was a need to follow each person's reveal. Numerous thoughts were well documented when mentioned, and interest maintained by curiosity. While intently listening, eclectic responses were being held captive inside, hidden. Feelings were triggered, challenging the current belief system.

While holding the tongue, a person can feel either sucked in to the energy or pulled back into the shadows. The voice can be used in either agreement or difference of opinion. The question is how much does one want to reveal or invest? How much exposure is one willing to risk?

Private thoughts, perhaps, are the key. Observe if there is alignment or division and why? The mind needs to be open, not boarded up like an old building. Allow movement of fresh thought to decipher what stays or what is to be removed. Respect what is held true but be willing to shift in understanding through the element of exposure.

Fitting In or Belonging ...

 

"The opposite of belonging is fitting in."

Brene Brown

Life's work is about discovering who we truly are without veils or misrepresentations. When we discontinue projecting who we are not and risk being seen as who we truly are, sincere belonging begins. It is in truly knowing who we are that strength abounds. When we fully accept ourselves, belonging is established at our core.

We have perhaps an angel hovering above us or maybe it is a spirit guide or termed the higher self. No matter what this spirit is called, engagement can propel us forward with confidence and accuracy. Developing this relationship minimizes our altered need to fit in as we learn to be happy with who we are and finally belong to the self.

Our culture asks us to claim just one label of classification, when in fact, we are extremely complex requiring multiple descriptions. We have a potpourri of offerings and do not have to alter the self in order to fit in. When we sincerely like who we are, we find others who have learned the same lesson and there is space for all to peacefully belong.

Holding Space

"When we are looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted,

 is able to bend, and most of all, embraces us for our strengths and struggles."

Brene Brown 

Holding space for someone means that we allow that person to simply be present in whatever challenge they find themselves. We embrace the other without judgment or criticism. There is no need for us to have a perfect answer or offerings of wisdom. It is the atmosphere of safety that we provide and  a matter of opening our hearts with unconditional support. 

With pure acceptance, we offer an arena for spewing all thoughts, emotions, and fears. We allow the person to simply release all that is challenging them without placating or minimizing his or her journey. We simply observe as they grieve, unleash and struggle to find an element of reconciliation. As a calm witness, we do not attempt to evaluate, fix, or change the other person.

Being present for others develops the skill of being still. This ability can be used to create  harmony in our own lives. We can hold a space of safety to release our own pain and sorrow, allowing clarity to surface. Allowing the self to bend and reshape, we move through pain and sorrow in order to recall our own essence of loving kindness. 

Creating Safe Space

"We can't be brave in the big world without at least one

small safe space to work through our fears and falls."

Brene Brown

The best present ever does not come in a special box, wrapped in fancy paper with a frilly bow. The most valuable gift is the safe space created between friends. It is an area where truths can be told, extreme emotions released, and no judgment exists. The event itself will not be brought up again, unless self initiated. 

In the safe space between friends, each person is embraced, valued, and supported. There is room to eliminate doubt, criticism and misconceptions. There may be a need to scream as loudly as we can or we may be held in stillness wrapped in compassion and tenderheartedness. Permission is lavished for the ability to stand tall, being just as we are. 

For each other, we become a light in the darkness, a whisper in the chaos, and an unbreakable connection. Masks can be discarded, and together walking forward confidence and hope are built for brighter days. One does not hide in a safe space, he or she rests and restores. The unbreakable bond is a treasure that no one can take awaqy.

Perfection Is Abusive

 

"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best."

Brene Brown

Staring at the ugly concrete wall with imperfections, the lovely flowers pushing through the cracks amazed me. They were brilliant and healthy, showing the world both beauty and resilience. They did not retreat into darkness, stunting growth. Perhaps they were trapped in the wall's darkness, but persevered to exist as they were meant to do.

If we desire the removal of our scars, we may lessen our uniqueness. Pain from judgment and shame creates wounds that carve our character. We will never be perfect, but stretching to improve our gifts to the world will enhance our happiness. It is through giving of our natural nature we become grateful and happy. 

Perfectionism is abusive as it can never be attained. It is a silent message to the self that we are not good enough, lack value, and need to be different in order to gain a successful life. When we take steps to improve who we are, take errors in stride, and believe in our own essence, life will help us shine.

Application

 

"What we know matters. but who we are

matters more."  Brene Brown

Unexpectedly, light warms our heart, brings clarity to thought, and points us in a corrected direction. We may write impressions in our journal or share insight with a trusted friend, but if we fail to apply the knowledge, we miss the sense of wholeness.

We are at our best when we are able to join our intellectual thoughts with our spiritual aspirations, and apply both to physical action. Momentum is built, escorting us forward. Fulfillment is created when all parts are joined together.

Whether our insight relates to a future vacation, career change or segment of our day, we will experience a greater sense of self when we utilize the body, mind, and soul through action. This process illuminates a greater definition of who we truly are 

Bridges of Connection

"I define connection as the energy that exists between people

when they feel seen, heard, and valued."

Brene Brown

Let us give our lovely selves permission to be fully present in our authentic identity.  When we allow our own acceptance without judgment, confidence flourishes.  As we kindle self love, respect, and honor, we gravitate towards the light in the world.

Our energy can become diluted when we do not protect our presence with safe boundaries.  Rather than becoming enmeshed with others, we can create bridges to extend our essence and receive the presence of others.  

Connection helps us to thrive when it is affirming.  Positive energy gathered can be shared personally and extended out into the world.  Together, we will cover all things with peaceful calm and love.  We can and do make a difference.

 

Time Excavates Half Truths and False Beliefs

"Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as

difficult as spending our lives running from it."

Brene Brown

From an early age we hear the command, "Stop Running!" We eventually learn to slow our lovely selves down physically, but mentally our mind may run wild for years to come.

Our mind needs a personal Fit Bit to track the emotional steps towards mental fatigue or debilitating stress. Our inner subject matter bounces around like fleas hopping from one source to another, so we do not have time to lift up that which we repress.

Life will find a way to slow us down, and the slower pace offers creative pause to dig in to what has built up behind us. Excavating unearths half truths and false beliefs which have blocked our true beauty and worth. It is time to embrace our individual story and walk peacefully through the remainder of our lives.

Showing Up

 

 

"You may get your butt kicked,

 but if you don't find the courage to show up in your own life,

 there's more at stake."

 

Brene` Brown

 

 

Brene` Brown is a recognized author, speaker, and life coach to the masses, stripping us of our self-imposed expectations for perfection.   Her books reveal our own personal feelings of shame and guilt in a very user friendly way.  She has been a god send to the masses who take the time to invest in her perspectives.

 

When a person measures the energy it requires to wear a mask, to hold the mask in place, and to retain the history of the mask , he or she discovers it requires more time and effort than just braving the audience as 'self'.  When we allow our selves to be real, we acquire more energy to be placed into arenas that truly matter. 

 

We pay for the fear, shame, and guilt we drag along with us.  When we drop our costumes and stand clearly in our own shoes, scuffs and all, a sense of freedom embraces us.  If those surrounding us do not approve of who we are, then we are not in the midst of healthy supporters.  It takes courage to change venues, but it is the same courage we have been displaying through our artificial performances. 

 

All of us have strengths and weaknesses and it is truly important to be familiar with both, but not to focus on the lesser traits.  Acknowledge having a weak side, but don't play into it.  Know it is there, but accept it rather than repressing it. 

 

When we stand in our authentic place, we become ignited with a personal power to truly shine which attracts like minded people to us.  When we use our courage to be clearly present just as we are, opportunities never imagined present themselves.  Opportunities, mind you, are not always winning the lottery.  Opportunities can be seemingly small, but very well may be the first step onto our life time path.

 

So we are called to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, to be constant in our presentation of self, and to be aware of ample opportunity.  When alignment appears for our personal path we will feel it resonate through us.  Sit with the vibrations and be certain to respond with appropriate action, not knee jerk reaction. 

 

Celebrate ourselves!  Forgive whatever we need to be forgiven, and then let it go.  Step over the bumps of our past and move forward with creative vision.  Be proud of individual strengths and seek out avenues enhancing our skills.  If we don't show up, the show cannot go on.