Clean Slate



 

 

I live in my own little world.

But its ok, they know me here.
Lauren Myracle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Traveling by airplane is very stressful for me.  I am intimidated by going through screenings based on nothing but irrational fear.  I am always early and relieved to sit by the appropriate gate, hoping flights won't be canceled or delayed.  I never feel quite secure until I am finally strapped in my seat.  I have no fear of flying preferring the speed of take-off to the jolt of landing. 

 

Arriving in Key West, descending the stairs of the airplane, anticipation spreads through my being.  I will go with the flow, follow a loosely structured day, welcoming every spontaneous event.  I will breathe in the warm air, soak up the sunshine, and delight in the diversity I find so endearing in this special place of mine.  I am much the same here, and I just blend in, being the observer of a life so different and carefree.  The creative energy surging through the art galleries, eateries, musicians, and kindred spirits seems to lift my spirits to a level where I can soar.

 

Our living quarters are quite small compared to our Illinois home, but they support the effort to live minimally without clutter and distraction.  I settle my clothes, find a place for my journals and lap top, and wander to the porch ... a perfect hideaway to use my iPad and dream.  In bare feet I walk through thick grass to the small heated pool and let my feet uncoil in the pleasure of the water in this small private garden of a yard.

 

This will be my home, although void of all my personal treasures ... family pictures, books, old journals and collections.  There is nothing but freedom here waiting for me.  No responsibilities or expectations or commitments.  Free to be a different me without associations, labels, or recognition. 

 

This is an opportunity to begin a new beginning.  The slate is clean waiting for the newness of this authentic and  inspirational adventure.  Oh, I can hardly believe I have yet once again returned to my lovely Key West!

Completion Is Mine

There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart.  So you'd better learn the sound of it.  Otherwise, you'll never understand what it's saying.

 

~Sara Dessen

 JUST LISTEN

 

 

Since Christmas Day, I have been cloistered, unplanned.  I have had numerous hours for contemplation and wide spaces in time for writing, but my physical weakness curtails my desire.  I have slept more hours than actually awake, and I have had many a journey into the depths of my soul.    When I find myself actually awake, I use the idol time to translate the images, symbols, and teachers who have visited my slumbers. 

 

As I inventory myself, I find bits and pieces missing or out of place.  It is as though certain aspects of myself are not working quite as crisply as they had.  There is no time to loiter over a suspicious loss when magnificent doors have been thrown open into realms of  ancient past, current present, and the forever on going future.

 

There is great comfort in recalling the sound of the last piece of the puzzle sliding into place.  The "ah ha" moment when the entire world falls into peace, calm, love and order.  When all the senses align themselves opening the heart to embrace all that is ... and there is nothing but the presence of Divine Spirit intertwined in us all.

 

All else falls away and I feel transcended, a true light body; and yet I have gone no where.  I remain in the same place, surrounded by all that was there prior, but what is unnecessary turns translucent and shimmers away.  Sweet sounds of music tune my memories into revelations easily understood.  Completion is mine, and I am all I need to be.

 

Inward Gaze

 

Truth be told, the inward gaze is something she's not too fond of.  But there are secrets that lurk in the mind, and she doesn't want any of them sneaking up on her.  Sometimes it pays to take a deep look inside even if you get queasy gazing into those dark corners.

 

Alden Bell

The Reapers Are the Angels

 

 

We all repress unpleasant memories for a variety of reasons.  Who knows what really triggers one to unexpectedly surface.  We might respond with a fit of nervous laughter or a startling realization of the return of something thought to have been left in the past.  There may be a sense of foreboding or dread, but if something has surfaced, we need to take a look.

 

It is said with recalling memories, nothing will appear we are not prepared to examine.  If our mind feels certain we are capable of exploring, it will release what it is we need to know.

 

Exploring inner landscapes is not always a pleasant thing to do.  We find our selves discovering both shadow and light.  We search for words to articulate the silence held within and this is not an easy task.  In fact it takes courage and resilience to face what appears to be the unknown.

 

Our hidden truth is like a seed buried in the ground, pushing to sprout and be known.  When we are capable of  embracing whatever lurks under the surface, we will find our selves to be a creative master of our garden.

Just Being Me

 

 

 

I bare my nakedness to the world

that the world may see who I am;

not the mask that hides my flaws,

not the mask that hides my beauty.

I bask in the light and I take off the mask!

 

Jocelyn Soriano

 

 

It is difficult for all of us to stand naked before the world.  For some it takes years of great courage while others are adventurers leading the way.  Then there are those who simply forget they are wearing a mask and therefore never disrobe.

 

Thinking back, I can remember how frightening it was to allow people to see the real me.  To be able to be the same person in private as well as in public, risking judgment and scorn.  And then when I became fully integrated, I experienced incredible freedom and joy with the prospect of just being me. 

 

No matter where I went, there I was ... not wearing masks to fit particular occasions, and not cloaking values which would dishonor my spirit.  Instead of feeling vulnerable, I felt empowered.

 

In order to live fully in our own skin, we must articulate our silence, explore our inner landscapes, and decipher our dreams.  We must know ourselves thoroughly in order to present ourselves as in integrated human spirit.   There is nothing better than simply just being me!

 

 

 

 

Don't Compromise

Don't compromise yourself.

You are all you've got.

Janis Joplin

 

It is unfortunate in our early years that our uniqueness is seldom highlighted and often times squelched.  Our parents want us to 'fit in' and we are desperate to be accepted by others. We are so young and we begin to abbreviate or delete very valuable parts of our self. 

We silence our voices, repress emotions, and restrict our selves from being fully comfortable in our own skin.  We sacrifice our personal needs, dreams, and desires to be secure in a group no matter how distorted our original self becomes.

When we have 'sold our soul' for the attention of others, we are no longer feeding our potential and we are starving our inner longings.  When we are starving our selves in this manner, we begin to 'stuff' our selves with food, alcohol, drugs, exercise or other compulsive behaviors.  Ultimately, we wander farther and farther away from who we truly are.

Awareness presents itself differently for each of us, but there is usually an echo of a whisper haunting us ... who am I?  In our own time, we eventually begin the long trek back to our authenticity.  Layer after layer of masks come off in the process of self-discovery.  We find our voice once again, and we reconnect with our heartfelt feelings, no longer numb or invisible in life.  We can recapture our dreams and use our gifts and talents to create a satisfying and original life.

Whatever you do, do not compromise your beautiful authentic self ... the price you will pay is just too high!

Slaying Dragons

Courage is not just about slaying the dragon,

but about being true to yourself

and speaking your mind.

Elizabeth Bernstein

If we manage to slay the dragon, but regress back into silence, another dragon will eventually appear.  Dragons can be  symbols of fear; thus the cycle of dragons.

Courage is a part of our self we use to conquer physical, emotional or spiritual fears.  We use courage to face battles, to run calculated risks, and to stand up for our truths and values.

For some, it takes courage just to get out of bed.

The Divine is perfection and the Divine has created us in perfection; however, as part of the human experience we have strengths and weaknesses.  The lessons in this human experience entitled "life" address our weaknesses far more than our strengths.  The lessons are opportunities to strengthen our weaknesses.  Whenever we face our fears our courage  grows just a little stronger.

When we maintain a balance between our body, mind, and spirit, we are 'in the flow' feeling resilient and empowered.  When we respect our gifts and talents, and integrate our personal beliefs with our outer world, we have the courage to move forward more easily.  If we hide our personal beliefs and do not utilize our strengths, life appears to be an upward battle.   Then one day, at last, we gather our courage and break through our fears, slaying our dragons.