Shadow Falls

"The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone;

not only do they tend to be erased as years go by,

but often they change or even increase by incorporating extraneous features."

Primo Levi

I feel as though the sun is setting within me, pulling all of my inner light with it.  Darkness is seeping into a perfectly good day, triggered by memories.  I try to stay grounded by placing my bare feet upon the freshly mowed lawn while nature fills my ears with sweet sound.  

Eckhart Tolle explained the pain body years ago in his book, THE NEW EARTH.  I had never heard of such a thing, but it made perfect sense.  There is this energy-form residing inside of us, thriving upon negative thoughts.  It may be dormant for periods of time, but when it wakes up for a feeding, emotions run rampant.

For no reason, old emotions surface reminding me of separation, loss, and darkness.  I feel like a child picking at a scab that has not yet completely healed, forgetting the necessity of dwelling in gratitude and appreciation.  My mind continues to be drawn to sadness.  

It is not until I remind myself that these emotions are not who I am and they no longer serve any purpose.  I sit quietly, bringing warm glowing light into my heart and gently let it spread throughout my body.  I acknowledge my thoughts, and let them go.   

I can remain in a dark place, misinterpreting gestures tainted by my past, and get stuck in drama or I can be presently aware that emotions do not control me.   My feelings are not who I am and no matter what triggers surface, I can remain disengaged.  

With acute awareness, I feel my inner sun rise once again, bringing a new dawn.  As I walk towards the rays of light,  my shadow falls back into the darkness.