A Piece of Myself

 

 

"There are pieces inside of myself

that are not as well as others."

 

Kris Carr

 

 

 

There is a sadness seeping down into me, creating a chill to my otherwise hardy bones.  A few friends have commented, but I reply in denial ... 'everything is fine'.  A tear falls from the corner of my eye and I avoid it at all costs.  This being vulnerable, not hiding behind walls really is a challenge.

 

The holidays always trigger emotions in people.  There are a variety of ways to deal with this occurrence, but one needs to get a jump start on managing the broad range of feelings. 

 

Today, I am writing short notes to those who I wish I would be seeing during the holidays.  Not a Christmas card, but a personal note emphasizing how deeply they will be missed.  I am including not only a favorite memory, but also qualities of the person remaining so dear to me.

 

Yes, this is a nice gesture, but I am not sure if I am doing it more for me or for the beloved I am reaching out to.  I guess it doesn't matter why I make this gesture.  Maybe it will bring happiness to all involved.

 

Perhaps this is the importance, to be doing little things during the holidays, not letting emotion get the best of me on Christmas Day.  Being mindful of all of the goodness flowing into my life throughout the year will lessen my awareness of absence during this particular season.

 

I refuse to get lost in the frenzy of shopping or retreat to long naps in my bed.  I will find a balance grounding me emotionally and meeting my personal needs.  I will take notice of the options before me and make choices wisely.  My thoughts, words, and actions will create how my day unfolds, and I intend to make it a good one!