Habit Forming

Criteria of Emotional Maturity

*  The ability to deal constructively with reality

*  The capacity to adapt to change

*The capacity to find more satisfaction

in giving than receiving

*The capacity to love

William C. Menninger, MD

Body language has always intrigued me while observing others.   It is interesting to listen and observe a person saying, "I am good.  Really good."  All the while, the speaker is shaking his or her head no from side to side conflicting with the yes answer.  There is almost comic relief when a person says, "I am open to anything you have to say."  He then crosses his arms in a very defensive position. 

One time I read a depressed person walks with his or her head down, looking at the sidewalk or feet.  A person bracing for what awaits, walks hunched over and into an imaginary wind.  The optimistic person walks looking up into the sky seeking sunshine, birds, clouds, and happiness.

Positive and negative thinking is linked directly to positive and negative behavior.   We choose our thinking and behaviors.  Both are habit forming. 

Positive Thinkers                                                      Negative Thinkers

Connected to creative power                                   Feeling scattered

Be constructive                                                         Heavy criticism

Look for the good                                                     Expect the worst

Choose how  to feel                                                  Lack of emotional control

Do the best in every situation                                 Muddle through unprepared

Eat mindfully and healthy                                        Poor diet  lowered immune system

Happy and optimistic                                               Anxiety, depression, pessimistic

It is easy to see that negative thinking can be bad for our body, mind, and soul.  When we respond by being hesitant and resistant we are not open or flexible to change.  If we do not change, we remain stuck in negative thinking and negative behaviors follow.

A positive attitude does not spare any one from challenge or sorrow.  We all experience both difficult and precious times.  The optimist allows the memories of precious time to sustain and to give courage when experiencing life's disappointments.  An optimist is more likely to step through fear and face the known or unknown consequences.

It is important to use self-talk or affirmations to set the tone of our day.  'Today will be a good day.'  'Today I will embrace all people with patience.'  When we know we are facing a difficult morning we can acknowledge it but also see past it.  'This morning is going to be challenging, but I will get to the other side where calm awaits me.'   

Life is consistently teaching us lessons and is not out to destroy us.  When we endeavor to be a positive and  receptive student, things will still unfold, unravel, and undo, but if we can maintain an open attitude we are more able to  withstand hardships and succeed.