I Miss You Like Hell ...

Where you used to be,

there is a hole in the world,

which I find myself constantly

walking around in the daytime,

and falling in at night.

I miss you like hell.

Edna St. Vincent Millay



It has been a few days now since death claimed the life of my friend's daughter.  I continue to fumble with appropriate words and refuse to utter time worn phrases that at the moment sound shallow and small.  The truth that I hold is no mother should ever out live her child.  I cannot imagine anything more painful.

The services will only be another comma in a very long drawn out sentence.  The sentence may run on for years until the time comes when  a new sentence can be structured offering a new beginning.  There will be opportunities for healing and forgiveness for this senseless accident, but there will never be a time when the mother stops holding her child in her heart. 

My friend is a very vibrant woman, and very out spoken.  She has magnificent blue eyes begging us not to forget her daughter.  She yearns to hear stories of how people knew her daughter, what their experiences were, and how they will remember her .... forever.

Her circle of friends will remain steadfast by her side.  She will have support from many paths as she plays many roles in the lives of others ... wife, mother, teacher, community participant, student, writer, and dancer.  In time, her best ally will be her very own self.

I will continue to keep this family in a bubble of love, energy and light, hoping they will pull together instead of a part.  I pray this family will move towards the light, healing each other in their own special way, never forgetting daughter, sister, loved one and friend.