Bittersweet

The curious paradox is that

when I accept myself just as I am,

then I can change.

Carl Rogers

The fall wind blows and the autumn leaves float by my window, dancing their way down in their last free fall.   I cannot help but wonder if their spinning is filled with joy or sorrow.  Perhaps the experience of the great fall is bittersweet.

This particular autumn, I find myself to be similar to the leaves.  I am in a free fall, floating in and out of bittersweet thoughts.   The swirling motion of the wind jumbles my feelings and blows my sense of balance away.  The sounds of the branches shaking the leaves, drowns out spiritual whispers usually supporting me.

When left to spiral alone, too easily I forget who I am.  The critical gust from others shakes my confidence while old flight patterns surface in the air and carry me farther away from where I yearn to be.

Once the wind calms, I find myself gently floating down a stream.  My reflection reminds me of all that I am and all there is left for me to be.  The tug of the current pulls me forward and I am excited, ready to embrace a bittersweet change in me.