Inner Independence

We may encounter many defeats, but

we must not be defeated.

Maya Angelou

As individuals, we are not free if we are living in fear and keeping ourselves small.  Being smaller than Divine intended us to be, not using our God-given talents, and feeling separated from all that is does not create the life contemplated for humans on this earth.

There is no person able to control you, unless you allow it.  If you are giving your power away, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it is by your choice.  You may tell yourself that you acquiesce to a friend, family member or significant other as an act of kindness, but if it is at the expense of your own spirit, it is not an act of love.

Advice from others can be helpful, but listening to your own heart can give you personal guidance for the life you are called to live.  You live this life not your advisers and therefore, it needs to be designed to personally meet your needs and goals. 

At times, you may look at someone else's life, and wish it were your own.  You may look at another person's house and wish you were the owner.   A different career may catch your attention so you imagine how different your life might be.  In reality, however, you will be 'you' no matter what life you are living or where you call home or you work.   

If you are not standing in your own power right where you are today, you will not be standing in your own power no matter what the circumstances of life brings.  If you are feeling separate now, you will bring that same sense of separateness with you.  It is what dwells within you that appropriately shapes your world, not what is outside of you.

Discover your personal strengths and build on them.  Focus on your talents and deeply love the uniqueness of your spirit.  Take pride in what you bring into this world and let your light shine.  When you learn to love yourself, integrity grows and you share your light with others.  It is this very light that will attract what you truly need. 

The transformation to inner independence does not happen over night as it is a process.  Start small and keep building upon what you learn.  Keep a journal for jotting down your feelings, losses, and discoveries.  Use resources to support your transition whether you find books in the library or articles on the Internet.  If you have a very trustworthy friend, engage them in your process. 

When you are feeling good about yourself, jot down things that support you:  a massage, a walk in the park, lunch with a friend, or an early bedtime with a good book.  There will be days that may challenge you, and on those days you can turn to your list and it will help provide you with options you may not think of when you are feeling down.

If the whole idea of reclaiming your inner independence overwhelms you, choose a therapist who can help untangle the gnarly ball of anxiety residing in your belly.  At the end of the day, jot down what you are thankful for and make a list of affirmations to help keep an attitude of gratitude.