Victim, Survivor, Heroine

"Above all, be the heroine of your life,

not the victim.'

Nora Ephron

We must decide if we are going to let life happen to us or if we are going to have a full life of our own choosing.  We all experience life differently and definitely do not have equality in numerous areas.  The bottom line is we all have choice.  Granted, we may not have as many choices as others, but we do have choice.

Culture has groomed women to be submissive and co-dependent, so breaking out of an emotional prison is costly.  Isolated from resources and responsibility for children often keep a woman from making her choice.  She may risk her lovely self, but not the lives of her children.

Highly creative women can wear a mask and disguise the hell where they currently live, and eventually arrive at a point in time where they can bare no more.  We must make our lovely selves strong so we can recognize self worth and gain independence.    Individual strength can change a woman's course of life from victim to survivor and on to heroine.

Lay Down the Cross

"Above all be the heroine of your life

not the victim."

Nora Ephron

We are all angels from heaven and we must lift our wings and fly.  Whether it is storming or beastly hot, we are called to take flight.  If we remain in a tight ball, grieving the injustices placed upon us, our eyes will never see the beauty of this earth.

When we take flight and glance down, our problems seem much smaller in the greater landscapes below.  We see that all people have problems and rising above them is a matter of stretching our wings to grow.

As we grow, we hold our heads up more and view a wider picture of the world.  Our position may be smaller than we intended, but if we are taking an active part we are no longer the victim.  When we lay down our cross and stretch our wings, the winds of life will encourage to be the angle we were always meant to be.  

Victim or Heroine

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."

Nora Ephron

Common factors in domestic violence are the inability to see options; unable to gather energy for both emotional and physical movement;  and physical fear for self, children or additional family members.  The battered women have been emotionally beaten down in addition to being subjected to violence  and eventually believe they deserve such unacceptable treatment.  

It is my opinion, women experience this scenario in different degrees at major turning points in life.  Women have the tendency to be patient, to tolerate, and to accept the blame for any family dysfunction.  The woman slowly becomes like the rose who can no longer stand the tightness of the bud and finally unfolds.  

The stage of victim hood is finally exited when one can tolerate no more. As momentum builds, a woman will make a choice, even if it is minuscule.  The tiniest movement begins the assent to becoming a heroine.  Patterns may be repeated, but with a willingness to not be conquered, courage builds a sturdy platform for a woman to excel.  From this platform, the heroine begins again and again...