Misplaced Journal

 

"One day you will reflect on your journey, and when you recall how bumpy the road

you took was, you will smile and say to yourself, 'thank God I didn't give up."

Michael Bassey Johnson

While dusting, (a very rare occurrence in my home), I came across an old journal that had been misplaced. Anything to avoid the chore of dusting, I settled outside on my patio where there was a gentle breeze by my comfortable chair. Page by page, I fell back into a time occurring numerous years ago, but strangely crisp in my memory.

As I read the words I had penned across the page, I fell down the rabbit's hole rolling into darkness. Too easily I was engulfed in my past fears hearing my harsh self-criticism and judgments. Gently, I closed this outdated journal and brought my focus back to where I was on this day, in this space in time.

Over these most current years, I have bounced between regression and progression. Thankfully, I have moved forward and at long last learned to love myself. I may not like everything about me, but I unconditionally love myself for the first time, ever. I will remain dedicated to the forward movement upon my winding path of life's journey.

A Son at Fifty-One

 

"See with a different eye.

visualize with a colorful mind,

manifest your thoughts with the energy within."

Michael Bassey Johnson

Opportunities to learn from children began with the Head Start Program, then pre-school development, followed by day care teacher and director.  So I was well versed with kiddos from diverse nationalities, varying incomes, and numerous family dynamics.  

Out of my four children, my second son, born on this day fifty-one years ago, challenged my skills repeatedly.  With each stage of growth, my  knowledge expanded and perspectives shifted to understand the individualistic needs of my son.

This challenged child learned to use his stubbornness to endure opposition for what he stood for.  His endless energy propelled him farther than expectations.  His deeply buried heart found ways to heal through on going random acts of kindness.  This handsome and exceptionally successful man continues to unfold in ways that make his momma proud.

Creative Parts of My Self

Creativity expands the mind, stretches it beyond ordinary human comprehension, 

resulting in the mind being elastic and capable of 

transcending and discerning complex ideas."   

Michael Bassey Johnson

The Infinity Sign

In bed for the night with a full and grateful heart.  It feels like I am opening to a new aspect of myself  ... exciting, adventurous and creative!  As I release pain and old patterns, I have more room for the Divine. I have cleansed rooms with sage and recreated each one, building a more supportive environment.

The living room highlight is the fireplace where I find myself coloring, reading, and just staring out the window at the welcoming trees in the yard.  Even in the kitchen I have strategically placed an aging book shelf to hold my water color paints, brushes, and calligraphy pens.  The bathroom is filled with healthy plants and stained glass to support this sense of coming alive.  My bedroom is filled with dream journals, inspired writings, low lighting and candles.  I have favorite comforters, thriving plants and a plethora of pillows.   Then my darkened den is for writing and energy work, both supporting each other.  It is a reverent space for meditation, contemplation and prayer.

Every room is representing a diverse part of myself,  eager to stretch and grow.  My body, mind, and spirit are brimming with imagination!  There is a fullness within bringing me joy to finally be me without dark and wounded gaping holes.