Victor or Villain

"One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others

would want you to be, rather than being yourself."

Kilroy J. Oldster

No matter how challenging life becomes, we must dig deeply into our lovely selves, recalling times of great strength. There needs to be a little shimmering of hope, a small beckoning light to encourage positive movement forward.

When we find ourselves kind and open, we may also find ourselves sorely used.  We may participate in a game of life unknowingly that other players are manipulating from a deceptive level.  If we find our selves hood winked, we must accept the portion of responsibility we invested and let all else go.

There is no real comfort in placing blame or shame, as those who would dupe us do not operate from the same playing field.  They are led by ego focusing on capture, control, and consume; while we are simply enjoying the exchange.  Our rewards are self-respect, integrity, and taking the higher road.  

Wounds or Warrior

"Self-evaluation proved to be distasteful business."

Kilroy J. Oldster

Waves of collective consciousness continue to wash over me.  It feels like excessive negative energy accumulates within me and it truly is not me ... is it?  The strong side of myself encourages me to let these feelings flow right through me without investing in them.  The weaker side of me questions if I am not to see my own reflection in these disturbances.  Is there a lesson I am over looking?

I do not want to harshly judge, but nor do I want to avoid what is begging for recognition.  This is a daily application I want to use personally and in reference towards others.  If I believe I can evolve into a positive light, so why cannot this be true for others?  Is this just ego hood winking me into believing falsehoods?

Apparently, I am being called to revisit the intentions of my human self and notice how they align with my spiritual self.  The backlash of painful memories may be prompting me to discern between unhealed wounds and the opportunity to once again be a warrior.

Editing Self Concept

"Childhood plays a critical role in forming

our final version of self-concept."

Kilroy J. Oldster

Aspects of childhood surface throughout our lives, trying to rekindle original passions or dreams.  Segments of discarded interests pop up nudging our imaginations to reconnect,  This is also true with trauma, no matter how slight, as it is easily stirred by any remote similarity.

In spite of intention, as children, we assume ownership of any hardship to befall.  "If I had been a better child ... If I had not gone outside ... If I had loved harder ... " are inner thoughts festered by false teachings of a punishing God.  

If we believe we are at the core of any disaster, we will assume responsibility for most anything occurring in our life.  It is when we finally  release child like expectations and embrace core instincts, we move forward in editing our healthy and unlimited self-concept.