Stepping on the Toes

    

Disappointments in love, even betrayals and losses, serve the soul at the very moment they seem in life to be tragedies.  The soul is partly in time and partly in eternity.  We might remember the part that resides in eternity when we feel despair over the part that is in life.

Thomas Moore

Care of the Soul

Taylor Caldwell and Jess Stearn collaborated on  a work of fiction in 1977 entitled:  I, JUDAS.  The novel created  a new gospel and allowed Judas Iscariot to reveal causes and motivations of his own actions.  Judas, in this story, displays an intention not to betray, but to force Jesus to assert His messianic role.

Not focusing on biblical or historical accuracy, this liberal interpretation of misunderstood intention shines an entirely different light upon the validity or possibility of misconstrued truth.  Judgment aside, exploring two sides to a story truly opens the heart and mind.

We all experience betrayal of some sort during our life experience.  It is a costly and painful experience taking a depth of time to heal.  As times passes, however, there is enough room to step back and see the situation with a broader lens resulting in perhaps a better view of what really happened.

As human beings, we have the tendency to view experiences through our own rose colored glasses.  We form decisions based upon our  previous experiences coloring occurrences in the present or now.  The only actions we can be certain of is our own and even then there are times we question our  personal behavior.

This leads me to the importance of judging no one as Divine Spirit can do just fine without me.  I am not interested in taking sides as I will never have absolute clarity to understand all aspects of any given situation.  I have the absolute right to take a stand for my self, but not to step on the toes of others.

The Little Soul by Neale Donald Walsch

"Oh we have danced together

you and I,

many times."

Neale Donald Walsch

"The Little Soul and the Sun"

There is a wonderful children's book written by Neale Donald Walsch:  "The Little Soul and the Sun:  A Children's Parable Adapted from Conversations With God."  (Neale Donald Walsch is the author of "Conversations with God" which became a series of very successful books. )

The parable is about a small angel, Little Soul, who understands that he is made of light.  He also understands to truly know what light is, one must also experience dark, just like hot and cold or up and down. 

Little Soul decides to take an adventure into the physical where he can truly witness the dark.  Another small angel, Friendly Soul, offers to go with him into this next life time to do something "bad" so Little Soul can be One Who Forgives.  Friendly Soul states that he will have to slow his vibration way down and not be who he truly is to be in the dark.  His fear of course is that Little Soul will forget that Friendly Soul is playing a part to be a teacher to his beloved friend.

A friend shared this book with me probably 20 years ago, and it remains one of my favorites even though it was written for children.  It is in total alignment with many spiritual teachings reflecting all of our actions impact each other and we are all one.   

Many spiritual beliefs come easily to me, but wrapping my mind around my enemy being someone who loves me, truly challenges me.  In truth, it has taken several years for me to act accordingly.  Thus the question, "What is the lesson here," followed by, "Don't kill the messenger!" 

These thoughts trigger many questions which act as a catalyst for forgiveness.  Based on the parable above, the people who have treated me harshly are actually those who love me the most.  Harsh teachers loved us so much they were willingly to run the risk of our judgment and lack of forgiveness ... to forget who they truly are ... to forget who we truly are ...  to lower our vibration to be who we are not.

It matters not whether you believe this concept or not.  What matters is stretching your mind and earnestly seeing your very self in the eyes of others.

"Fool me once ...

"Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me."

Old Proverb

Living my life with compassion, loving kindness, and an open heart is not always easy.  My down fall has always been seeing people at soul level, not as they really are in human form.  Illusions generally fall away, rendering a cost to my unsuspecting heart.

Forgiveness comes easily to me as I truly believe we are all doing the very best we can do at any given moment.  When faced with choice, we don't always make the best decisions.  Believing we are here for the human experience, of course we are going to face numerous challenges and we will not always be proud of them.

So with my open heart I forgive as I am very aware that beneath all actions resides a fellow spiritual being.  We learn through our conflicted decisions and I choose to see the forgivable/unforgivable situation as an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.  And by forgiving I do not mean condoning. 

So this is where I get stuck.  Processing brings me this far and then I falter.  First, I struggle with the genuine disappointment that the person chose not to do better. Secondly, although I have forgiven, the heaviness of my personal loss remains.  I ask myself what the lesson was for all involved, but primarily search for the application to myself.   And lastly, I find myself dwelling on the situation rather than simply letting it go.

I accept that our perspective is frequently limited leaving us incapable of seeing the big picture.  Only as time passes do we begin to truly view how all of the pieces fit together.  With a little distance, we can turn back and see how we ignored information that could have helped minimize the entire experience. 

It is easy to sit back and count the wrongs of others as it is a distraction from listing our own.  We may even find ourselves in denial saying, "Oh, but what they did was ten times worse."  Point being, we are not the ones to judge.  We must use all of our efforts to keep our own house in order.

All people carry love, energy and light within them.  There are different ways to utilize this power:

well wishes, blessings, prayer, energy work, or meditation to name a few.   Whatever method

we use to touch the hearts of others, we must be mindful to apply it to ourselves as well.  Restoring

our inner self with the love of God, Universal energy, and light of Christ/Buddha or simply the Divine will help us heal.  Letting go of what is heavy in our heart, enables us to make room for new, moving forward hopefully a little wiser. 

Life at Hand

Carrying the past with us is always more burdensome than any mistake we have made.  Guilt, resentment, and criticism of self or others for past deeds is far more debilitating than a momentary error.  Any energy we invest in reliving or resenting the past detracts from the life at hand. 
                              
                                A Deep Breath Of Life  by Alan Cohen

Father's Day ...

I cannot think of any need in childhood

as strong as the need

for a father's protection.

Sigmund Freud

                                   

On this day I remember the man I adored.

I stood by his bedside with death at the door.

I didn't know then my heart would be shattered

to learn the truth, that I never mattered.

Memories crept out of the dark in my soul,

followed by healing for me to grow whole.

It all makes sense now looking back,

fiction replaced by glaring fact.

Wherever you are, know this to be true,

the pen in my hand writes in spite of you.