"Feed yourself with the food of wisdom.
Wisdom is recognized by joy and peace.
When you allow your ways to be light, you go high.
When your path supports heaviness, it weighs you down.
Raphael Zernoff
Heaviness has been shadowing me. Early morning reading and writing did not bring new light and if anything, darkness began to fall. It is important to not let this shadow get ahead of me, so I faced the sun and inhaled deep breaths of bliss and exhaled buckets of dim.
I have been floundering, dragging this heaviness with me, not able to shake free. I sat down hoping meditation would flush emotions to the surface, to understand what has been bothering me. I was able to unearth the wound creating this despair. It was the obituary in this morning's paper of a friend from long ago.
I do not fear death as I believe in the realms or heavens poets discuss. In my heart, I feel that those have passed will be in spirit when I, too, pass. This is my core belief system, but apparently my human emotions have not caught up with this spiritual level of thinking. I am feeling the loss of a friend, no matter how long apart we have been. I can still hear laughter, serious conversations, and the spin we put on things. I will honor this relationship that has come to an end with a small candle, glass of wine, and lovely words to return joy and bliss.
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