No Boundaries, No Safety

"When kids come from an unstable home, it's not unusual 

for them to be afraid of leaving the house.  When they do leave, 

they're afraid of what they will find when they get home.

There are no boundaries in their home, so there's no safety."

Luanne Rice 

Stone Heart

Children are resilient and knowledgable beyond comprehension, especially when regarded as 'kids' who know nothing.  In the earliest stages, infants can detect a sense of safety or neglect.  They are inarticulate, but highly sensitive to emotional atmosphere.

Little toddlers know to cover the face and hide when voices raise in volume and objects begin to break.  They don't understand what is going on, but the building fear inside urges them to act or to act out.  Frequently, inappropriate adult behavior is mirrored in the actions of the impacted child.

It is challenging for both child and adult to leave home when there is no sense of safety.  They have little to no control within the home, so the outside world can be devastating.  The individual who sponges up the violent excess, may believe he or she can control the family by being present.  They are fearful of leaving and experience grave anxiety upon returning home to discover the unwinding abuse.