Learning Through Relationships

  When men and women are able to respect and accept  
  their differences then love has a chance to blossom.
                                      John Gray

  Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for
 her and one for them together.
                                Jacqueline Bisset


Gary Zukav is the author of a wonderful book entitled, THE SEAT OF THE SOUL.  Although published in 1998 the book continues to trigger insight into human beings evolving into a more multi-sensory experience that not only enhances authentic power, but impacts the collective experience as well.

Each chapter of THE SEAT OF THE SOUL is filled with information to be digested slowly.  It is not a quick read by any means as it covers a variety of subjects that deserve attention.  At this time, however, I center my thoughts on his writings about relationship.

At one time, a relationship was established for security, shelter, protection and procreation.  Gary Zukav discusses spiritual partnerships as being just as committed, but with emphasis on individual spiritual journey or personal growth.  He suggests that spiritually, we desire the very best for our partner who is on his or her own journey bringing a richness to the partnership as well as to the collective consciousness.  In doing this, however, by supporting the desires of our partner, it may mean that either partner may be called in a different direction through the process of further spiritual development. Ideally, each partner can continue to support and celebrate the transformation of the other, but at times, one partner may be left behind.

So how do we react when we are the partner who is left behind?  Gary Zukav understands that we do not 'react', but rather, we 'respond'.  In truly loving and supporting the significant people in our lives, we must be holding their highest desire in our hearts.  We are called to encourage and embrace change without the drama of emotions such as anger or self-pity.  This is no easy task.

In A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE, author Alan Cohen states:  "Even when we do something foolish or unkind, we may be participating in a plan that ultimately serves everyone involved.  In retrospect, even those who tried to hurt us ultimately contributed to our healing.  If we are better off after an adventure, we can thank everyone involved, no matter what part they played in the drama.

"Trust that good things can come out of an apparent mistake. The big picture reveals that love is always present."

This attitude indeed requires a stretch of our emotions and understandings.  The question is not "Why did this happen to me?"  This question places us in the role of the victim.  The question needs to be, "What is the lesson for me to learn?"  This inquiry eliminates the emotional drama and propells us forward with understanding and empowerment.

The only constant in life is change and rarely do we have the vision to grasp the larger picture.  If at an earlier age my entire life flashed before my eyes, I feel quite certain that I would have been overwhelmed.  I sense that I would have said, "No thank you" believing that I would not have the tools to navigate through the challenges that I would encounter on a dark and shadowed path.  

So I have gathered bits and pieces as I have traveled through my life.  Individually, many circumstances did not make sense, but later, when coupled with other events, a picture begins to take form.  There are patterns, cycles, and the never ending spiral as we continue to learn through relationships.  Step by step, day by day, I strive to stay present in the moment ... it isn't always easy.