In The Darkness

"There is a child in every one of us

who is still a trick-or-treater

looking for a brightly-lit front porch."

Robert Brault

rbrault.blogspot.com

With fond memories of Halloween, my mind spans across years of my own trick-or-treating, as well as the years of my children and grandchildren.  Although I no longer participate, Halloween continues to offer a sense of anticipation.  

If the day is cold and strewn with streams of rain, I am genuinely disappointed for children everywhere.  Even if it is reasonably cold, I shudder for the little ones dressed as ballerinas, faeries, or sprites, unable to hide heavier clothing beneath costumes.  

As the day turns to night and curfews are long passed, my mind wanders to images of children patiently waiting for their parents to paw through the safety check of treats.  Evening entertainment offers creepy haunted houses or movies to traumatize.  (Not to overlook the art of toilet papering trees and houses of unsuspecting friends and neighbors.)  

Just like any other fall evening, I settle in front of my fireplace, blank journal in hand accompanied by a big bowl of hot buttered popcorn.  As I stare into the growing fire, visions coil one after the other.  Bright images burst into fleeting flames, but the emotions remain, haunting me in the darkness.  

Hurdle Road Blocks

"You do have a story inside you;

it lies articulate and waiting to be written -

behind your silence and your suffering.

Anne Rice

Whether we are riding on a bus, sharing a cab, or waiting in a long line for service, the people around us are filled with stories.  We are in the presence of wonderment at all times, yet rarely tap into what is present.  

I am reminded of riding on a trolley in New Orleans, LA, with a resident seated next to me.  A standing tourist engaged her in conversation and I overheard an overwhelming story of her challenge and survival after Katrina.  Once in Nashville,TN, I found myself in conversation with a woman sitting next to me.  We discovered her family of origin lived within 30 minutes of my home in Illinois.  Befriending a senior citizen living in a retirement home, I heard the story of an exceptional life led with brilliance beyond my imagination.  Listening to a small child in a day care system, I heard the voice of an aged soul, insightful beyond his years.  In Sedona , AZ, eating breakfast at a restaurant, I listened to a Native American Elder tell both ancient and current history of his people and their land.

Synchronicity allows delight and deeper understanding if we take advantage of these available opportunities.  Storytellers enhance life and allow us to take a step towards each other rather than away.  Every breathing individual has a story to tell, and we probably take our story for granted.  We don't realize  the gifts that come with the telling.  The lower income woman may once have lived a life of luxury.  The highest executive in a Fortune 500 company may have grown up dirt poor.  The beggar in the street may have an exceptional perspective.

When we listen to the hearts of others, we come to realize their is no such thing as an average person.  Our personal stories reveal our uniqueness and yet draw us together.  We all face challenges and with learned knowledge from each other, we hurdle road blocks with greater strides.

Cultivating Aspirations

"Aspiration has been described as our true nature striving to reveal itself. It can be seen as an inherent movement to who we truly are.  The effort of aspiration is soft, not driven by results as by the inner impulse to live more genuinely."  Ezra Bayda, The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom

Harvest time, and we are reaping what we have sown.  Review the seeds planted two seasons ago, and examine the results.  Did we tend to everything or were we lax in cultivating certain yearnings for creation.  Did we get the easy crops out of the way and neglect the seeds requiring more of our time and efforts.  

In a discussion with a farmer, he compared child rearing to harvesting in this way:  If you take seed and throw it into your field and never work the field, your crop will be spindly.  If you carefully plant the seed into a well cared for field, cut out the weeds and cultivate the rows, your crop has a better chance of survival.

I believe the same can be true for any aspirations.  We will succeed in an authentic life when we take care and strengthen the seeds we plant.  When we pay attention to growth and nurture when needed, our yearnings will bud and sprout.  

So as we survey our fall gatherings, what we have produced will display what kind of care giver we have been to our inner desires.  Did we do just enough to get by?  Have we shied away from goals requiring detailed care?  

Winter, our next season, provides time to pull back and re-assess.  It is a time to plan and regroup.  To do so, we must be genuinely honest with ourselves and determine what truly rests in our heart.  Life takes our energy, and we either use it for our dreams or for the dreams of others.

One Major Piece

"In daily life, we are often lost in thought.  We get lost in regrets about the past and fears about the future.  We get lost in our plans, our anger, and our anxiety.  At such moments, we cannot really be here for ourselves.  We are not really here for life.    Thich Nhat Hanh


It is a beautiful crisp fall morning, perfect for walking my lovely, Bella.  Her nose is to the ground while I span cloud formations in the very blue sky.  Perhaps it is because of my peaceful state outdoors, my mind jets off to a processing of its own.

I begin to remember how I once kept my self small and endeavored to be as invisible as any living thing could be.  I channeled all of my energy into the elevation of others.  Praise, encouragement, and support all for comfort as I hoped my servitude would gain friendship. 

Long gone are those days, so why do these memories surface now?  I do not ponder long as the realization hits me how I continue to keep myself small.   I feel sick to my stomach with the dawning of how I continue to play it safe.  I no longer try to be invisible as I recognize my strengths and have accepted my weaknesses; but, efforts to  put my self out there are nonexistent.

It disturbs me to find myself shedding yet another layer as I spin through the spiral.  There is more work for me to do which will pull me out of my comfort zone.  Down to my bones, I understand there is yet one major piece out of place.  A commitment had been made out of time and out of space, a desire to accomplish this one last thing to complete my happiness.  It would be the seal to all of my work.

Sigh.  Time is of the essence and I evaluate my remaining energies wondering if I could ignore this last yearning, although I would never be able to rest.  It will require me to place ego aside, turn down the volume of my inner critics, and work very hard.  Once and for all, I am called to stand tall.

Navigation

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up

where I need to be."

Douglas Adams

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

We wander here and there, then sadly discover we are no where near where we need to be.  We return to our illusionary map, deciphering a new way to travel to hopefully come across the land of our heart's desire.  We take on a new adventure, and then another quest, yet still do not arrive where we thought we would.

This afternoon I am going to a car dealership to have a navigation system installed.  I run the risk of this new implant feeling ill placed in my head, but what could be worse than constant vertigo.  Now when I wander off course, I wonder if I will be guided by a voice boldly stating, "Recalculating!"

The Voice in the Inner Space of Nothingness

"You didn't come here to face hurdle after hurdle after hurdle.

It's not as if by mastering your issues today, more issues will be added tomorrow.

That only happens when you deny them today.

Master your issues, today, and be free."

THE UNIVERSE

www.tut.com

I have this void inside.  I try to fill it with a variety of thoughts, activities, and applications of words I have read.  When I grow still, the void is still there, waiting ...   So today I will try to move closer rather than attempting to stuff the hole with busyness.  I will sit silently, listening for my inner voice to speak from the vast depths of my soul.

I begin to sense there is something beyond this emptiness.  Perhaps this loneliness is similar to fear and I need to push through it, to listen to what is on the other side.  I am now wondering if this sense of emptiness isn't a layer depriving me of feelings other than pain.  What if there were joy and freedom within my reach?

So I sit with my lovely self.  Calming my mind and ignoring distractions, I wait for my intuition to be heard.  I welcome the insight that will hopefully, at long last, set me free.

In Spite of My Intentions

"Life is really simple,

but we insist on making it

complicated."

Confucius 

This morning, my mind is not cluttered with thoughts.  In fact, it would take serious effort to string three words into one phrase.  My head, I swear, is filled with cotton.  Each thought is softly covered in protection from being pulled out and down onto my page.  I am at a standstill, without one word to write.

Where is this solitude when I try to meditate and my words are roller blading, zipping through my head!  Why can I not enjoy this forced stillness with a deactivated brain?  Instead of peace I feel anxious and unsettled.  

Indeed, I struggle to make the most simple pause into a complex arena of discombobulated thoughts.  I forget that timing really isn't mine, that it is elastic, contracting and expanding according to the Divine.

My life unfolds in spite of my intentions, and adjust I will.  I forget to breathe deeply, to let go, and just be.  Without this surrender, drama will continue to loop through my brain creating all kinds of complex drama.

Waking A Remembrance

"I want to know who you are.  I want you to know who I am.  We may not even know why, until I hear our stories, until you hear mine.  We may not even know why until something sparks between us that makes us smile or cry with recognition - not out of sentimentality, but out of commonality, waking our remembrance that we are each other."  Christina Baldwin

At the Peoria Riverfront Fine Art Fair, I gave myself permission to chat with Ana Buzancic Petercic who is an artist and designer.  I was drawn into her tent by her art work, but quickly became captivated by her accent.  Her signature sign reflected she was from the Chicago area, as am I, but  her words had a cadence all of their own, I knew she was from a different country.

I rolled down my protective barriers and allowed vulnerability by striking up a conversation with this artistically attractive woman.  Her immediate smile opened gateways to becoming a momentary friend.  I liked her immediately!

Eventually, I gathered my courage and asked. "Ana, you have such a lovely accent.  It opens my heart to such familiarity.  What is your heritage?"  Her response explained it all.  She had dual citizenship in the United States and Croatia.  She said soon she would be returning there for a long visit.

I shared with her why I loved her accent:  I have loved ones in Croatia whom I have not seen in a very long time.  As our conversation deepened, we exchanged more information which led to the discovery of her being familiar with the family name of my friends.  This gifted artist, Ana, would carry my love back home with her in hopes of contacting my friends.

It is such a small world when we allow our selves time to share space with others.  I was deeply moved by meeting this kind woman from Croatia, and touched by the synchronicity of common ground.  If I had not had courage to speak, if she had been too busy, this awesome connection would never have been made.

Try to be open to opportunities with unknown kindred spirits.  Conversations will enhance the day and touch our hearts in unexpected ways.  By connecting links, perhaps oneness will find its way.

Fear, The Informant

"Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into novel and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out."  Madisyn Taylor  DAILY OM

Fear is not always a bad thing.  We have a tendency to get stuck in the emotional aspects of fear, unable to move in any direction.  Fear, however, can be thought of more appropriately as a yellow traffic light for caution.  Fear is not telling us to speed up or slow down, but to be aware.  It encourages us to pause prior to a decision so we can carefully explore what the consequences will be.  

We need to be aware of our actions whether we are moving foreword into a new career or extracting ourselves from a relationship.  Fear surfaces so we can slow down and evaluate circumstances.  It prevents us from moving head on carelessly or lurking unnecessarily.

Fear can also be an indicator of being out of our comfort zone.  This is a notification of a needed transition.  Are we tired and bored with our life or are we being lured into a new situation? In either scenario, we can experience fear.  At any time, we can choose to sit quietly to pinpoint what is triggering us.  Then we can next decide if it is in our best interest to simply move through our concerns or allow more time to pass.

Fear is simply trying to get our attention to cautiously keep moving through our worries and concerns.  Refrain from giving it too much control, as it is truly just an informer.  Fear presents itself during any transitions made in our life.

Relating to Single Vibration

"I think it is healthy to spend time alone.

You need to know how to be alone 

and not be defined by another person."

Oscar Wilde

Even if we are in a healthy relationship, we still need our private time.  We need to experience personal space where we can just be.  The energy of two people or more create a different frequency than the vibration we have on our own.  

To spend some time alone, does not mean there is something wrong.  It does not suggest we are loving lesser than we did before.  We simply need to recharge our personal space, to untangle our thoughts, and to just experience what is going on with ourselves.  This time allows us to come into balance or align our body, mind, and spirit.

We sometimes do a happy dance when our significant other leaves for the day playing golf, or attending a meeting.  There is something so freeing about being home totally by ourselves when we are used to living with another.  Maybe our partner will be gone late into an evening and we are joyful to not have to fix a meal, and allow our self to retire early with a great book.  

Don't wait until there is something wrong before we claim private time.  Actually, securing alone time can help prevent relationship problems.  There is such a thing as too much togetherness.  We need to discover what we are thinking.  It is an opportunity to get in touch with our body and how it feels.  Nature may be beckoning us outdoors, leaving our concerns behind.  

If we are living alone, the same holds true.  Sometimes we have to get out of our daily surroundings to have a more clear reflection of ourselves.  Julia Cameron would suggest an Artists Date where we choose a time and place during our week.  We can look forward to it and honor it when it arrives.  The time is especially designated to honor our self and can be used for solitude, adventure, or exploring.  

It is important to get to know ourselves all over again, as we change routinely.  The more in touch we are with our body, mind, and spirit, the more resilience we will have for others.

Success, The Embodiment of Joy

"Do you know what's 1,000,000 times better
than getting to the top of the mountain?

Getting there, after having been lost!"

The Universe
www.tut.com






Life challenges us throughout the years, often times showing no mercy.  We barely make it through one learning experience, before another one presents itself.  When we fall, we somehow learn to pick ourselves up and begin again.  At first we may experience falling as devastating, but as life's lessons come and go, we learn to take all experiences in stride.

At track and field events, we see one athlete gliding over hurdles, while one other may be pole vaulting with ultimate grace.  Common sense tells us they have practiced routinely and yet still get tripped up.  The same is true with a toddler.  The small child wobbles and falls continuously throughout the day, offering a huge smile during surprise moments of perfection.

Fleeting moments of success are pivotal in moving forward.  Once we have accomplished something, we focus on repeating the act on a higher level.  Success becomes the embodiment of joy when we have steadily tried, tried, and tried again.

Wild Woman Brings Yearning Into Reality

"The real miracle of individuation and reclamation of the Wild Woman is that we all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us.  We respond before we know how to speak the language, before we know all the answers, and before we know exactly to whom we are speaking."  Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Women have what I am terming a wild side, meaning highly creative, thought provoking ideas, clarity of intention, and a voice to be heard.   Our families of origin, impact our earliest stages by trying to tame our wild side.   If we are fortunate enough, we may have an elder in our early stages who plants tiny seeds for future incubation.  Maybe it is a grandmother or an aging neighbor who shares stories, but the meanings are not truly understood until time passes.  

When we are teens, our keepers wonder where we got these wild ideas and believe they can regulate our thinking to keep a lower profile.  If we have a mother blessed with insight or a teacher to recognize our gift, we can gain momentum in finding our paths.  If we are not distracted by outside influences, and can maintain a conversation with our inner guides, we will become leaders for those who have had the volume turned down.  

In maintaining our passion for life in spite of negative worldly influence, we can call to others who have forgotten the wild voice of free thinking.  We can awaken others to memories of authentic life callings.  Tears will wash away the sludge of misguided adventures and when the sun comes out we are filled with joy as we sense the definition of our longing.  As highly creative individuals,  women bolster the drive to bring their yearnings into reality.

The wild women lives inside of each and every one of us.  The word 'wild' has been misconstrued as wrongful action, in hopes of tempering women.  Let us define 'wild' as genius, creative, deep thinking,  warrior, story teller, truth teller, visionary, artist, and leader of authenticity and originality.  We need to claim our wild side as it has been privately evolving since birth, just waiting to be called out to play!  

Fog Between Perspectives

"Between memory and reality

there are awkward

discrepancies."

Eileen Chang

The initial thinking about freeing the mind is that one will walk in harmony with all things.  Peace is created, but in between the moments of stillness, there is work to be done.  Our route towards inner calm becomes foggy on many occasions.  We find ourselves caught between perspectives, as we attempt to define truth.  As we dismantle distorted thinking, there is a lapse in time, a pause, where we perhaps feel even more confused than we began our journey.  

Yet, this is true in all acts of restoration.  Whether we are cleaning out a desk drawer, or a hall way closet, we create a bigger mess in the process of sorting out what no longer is needed.  On our way to peaceful thinking, we let go of our past.  We are called to create a new lens to view old enemies, harsh judgements, and painful events.  We can view scenarios to observe the lesson they played rather than who was right or wrong.  

If we continue to step through painful pauses, we will gain momentum in freeing our mind and healing  our heart.  When we no longer keep an emotional score, our energy becomes invested in freeing our minds to live in peace.  To create harmony within ourselves allows us to move forward in bringing peace to our world.

   

Remove Character Assassinations

"Part of your job in being human is to remove

all of the external voices

telling you who you are."

Panache Desi

As a child, the voice we heard the most was our inner intuition.  Think about it, we had not yet acquired  a collection of resources.  We had not always been listening so closely to what others were saying.  We lived happily in our own little world without an overabundance of outside influence.

As we grow older, our circle of socialization grows larger.  There are more instances of adults and children telling us about our selves.  We receive layer after layer of characterizations and we wrap these references around us whether true or false.   The character assassinations never stop, and follow us through education, job placement, family of origin, and extended social circles.  

It is when this layering becomes so thick preventing us from any sense of self-concept.  We are lost to our most inner nature, feel isolated, and alone.  This is when we begin to unroll all of the layers, feeling strength return, as we go along.  

After years of believing we are ugly or stupid, we are find our lovely selves amazed at how gifted or talented we have been all along.  We are excited to truly see how solid our core truly is and we begin again listening to our inner voice as our most honest point of reference.  

The more we listen to our inner voice, the louder it becomes and the further we can advance.  This inner voice, directly connected to our goodness within, guides us to ways we can nurture, support, and love our creative nature.

Eventually, the person who knows us best, is our intuitive self.  When we empower and value our authentic nature we are  prompted to live a life that resonates with who we truly are and not the character defined by others.

Strength In Messages

STRENGTH

"Sometimes life will present you with challenges that you think are too difficult to endure. Sometimes it seems as if nothing goes your way and everyone else seems to be having the good times. Be strong my dear. Drawing this symbol means no matter what is happening in your life you have the strength to endure all experiences. Like an ancient oak tree whose trunk cannot be uprooted by any storm or tempest, you will also know strength that will come from within. You will win this game of life! You have the strength to face any situation now."  

Colette Baron-Reid

I read a message from a friend reflecting upon a storm rolling in.  Being me, I of course look at it as a waking dream.  I respond to him, reminding him of his strength and ability to bend with the wind while  keeping  his feet deeply rooted.  I felt comfortable with this exchange.  

This morning I randomly draw one of Colette Baron-Reid's oracle cards for this day.    Guess what, it is the STRENGTH card.  It is spot on to what I shared with my friend last evening.  Then I get it.  The pieces slide together and lock into place.  

The messages we give to others are often times the words we need to hear ourselves.  I needed to be revitalized and reminded of my ability to persevere.  I didn't absorb what I told my friend, so the message returned in another form.  I am so grateful for the connectedness, seen and unseen.

NOTICE: Permission to Be

"NOTICE:

YOU ARE HEREBY ALLOWED TO

BE HAPPY, TO LOVE YOURSELF,

TO REALIZE YOUR WORTH,

TO BELIEVE IN GREAT THINGS,

AND TO BE TREATED WITH

LOVE AND RESPECT."

Happiness In Your Life

THEHIYL.COM

Allow the opportunity to unfold where we can recapture the limitless sense of self  as experienced in childhood.  Release self-imposed obstacles, and set ourselves free.  Dismiss the accumulations of disappointments, and embrace time not with expectations, but with simplicity, clarity, and an open mind.

We can create, even if just for a moment, a space in time where we can meet with the Divine and experience total acceptance, love, and oneness.  We realize we are not our fears, we are not frail, and we are not incomplete.  We are beyond labels, bank accounts, and the expectations of others.

When we dare to step outside of our limited images, we find ourselves standing in luminosity without pain, anger, or suffering.  We discover ourselves to be human kindness with capacities to fulfill our destined dreams.  Breathe into this space in time.  Return to it over and over until it exists in each moment of every day. 

Essence Remains

Death

She lived not long enough.

She was so vibrant.

Now her life has ended.

A young woman expressed how difficult the passing of her grandmother had been, until she found old journals filled with sorrow, happiness, history, and wisdom.  Although the granddaughter had maintained a strong relationship with her elder for years, these journals reflected other sides of the grandmother's life never before mentioned.  Through these keepsakes, the grandmother remained alive, even though she had moved on.

People die, leaving us behind, but if we keep their memories fresh, a part of them lives on.  We can share stories of those who have gone before us with our children or friends.  We can write stories of our relationships or struggles for others to learn from.

Our physical body expires and our spirit moves on, but parts of our essence remains in the people, places, and work we have touched while still alive.  When we become lonely for those whom we have released to a different world, we can sit in silence and experience them once again.  Through stories, memories, dreams, or day dreams, we might be lucky enough to feel his or her presence, even if for the briefest moment.  

There may be a fragrance floating by that is definitely Aunt Millie's.  We may see a set of granddad's initials like MKC everywhere you look:  license plates, bar codes, monograms.  An old piece of jewelry long associated with a relative may unexpectedly surface.  Synchronistically, we are introduced to someone who knew our relative and opens a pathway of new insight.

There is a very deep sense of loss when someone dies, but in time we realize the person isn't entirely gone.  We can hear them laugh, see them run, or sense a warm embrace.  We can sit in silence and speak a name.  A sense of the deceased will stay alive for as long as we can hold them in our hearts.

Minimal Requirement, Breath

"Life is the moment

we're living

right now."

Paulo Coelho

We talk about our goals for meditation, and isn't that an oxymoron?  Meditation is mastering a blank state.  Our focus turns to mantras or chants; cushions to sit on; and memorized directions how to become still. It adds pressure about doing things the right way. All of this clutter removes us further and further from nothingness.   

The minimal requirement for meditation is breath.  If we can breathe, we are well equipped!  Forget the counting, it can be distracting.  Just slow the breath down, and we have begun.  Whether we are sitting on the floor in perfect yoga pose, relaxing with our eyes closed, or simply walking outdoors we are ready for meditation. As long as we are inhaling and exhaling slow deep breaths, we have started the process.

Meditation becomes difficult when we make it so.  We find our selves trying too hard to do it right.  When we find our selves stopped in traffic, sitting in a waiting room, or waiting for the water to boil, simply breathe.  It slows life down and we find ourselves living right now in the moment, which really is all we have ... just this moment.

Anticipate Arrival

Saying yes to the universe

opens the gate

to receiving what

your soul really wants.

Madisyn Taylor

If we take the time for declaring our intentions, we, indeed, must make the time for receiving answers. What good is it to ask for something, and then not anticipate the arrival?  It is important to leave ourselves open to answers not identical to our specifications.  We are all familiar with the old adage of "beggars can't be choosers"; however, we can also be open to things greater than our expectations.   Years ago, I was begging the Universe for answered prayer.  I honed down my request to basic need, and pleaded with angels for my undeserved response.  Fortunately, I ended all of my wishes with, "this or something greater".   The Divine never has the exact timing we wish, but eventually my desires were fulfilled, not only with my needs met, but with an abundance I would have never asked. If we maintain patience and keep an open mind, our answers arrive in many disguised fashions.  We simply cannot give up if an opportunity appears, not looking at all like we requested.  There may be a silver lining, a giftt well hidden within, and we will never discover it if we lack the patience and attentiveness to anticipate arrival.

Move It On Out!

Instead of avoiding our fears and frustrations or beating our heads against them in anger as we lash out at ourselves, others, and the world, we are able to pass through them and become larger, more inclusive, and more compassionate people. 

Norman Fischer 

ALL THE RAGE

We tell our lovely selves we are taking the 'higher road' by overlooking the misconduct of others, but at what cost to our selves?  It is important to not judge, but it is equally important to deal with our fears as they arise.   There is not need to lash out at another person for their insensitive ways, if we learn to channel our feelings in appropriate ways.

We can strive for responding rather than reacting.  If someone shouts hateful words at us, we can react by shouting back or we can respond placing the intensity back on the owner.  When we react, we habitually say things we wish we had not said.  If we calmly choose our response, we will not be sucked into the drama of others.

"Sounds like you are having a bad day," can be chosen or "You really sound angry, what is going on?"
We don't have to 'tolerate' attacks of others, but the energy must go somewhere.  So the choice is to respond from a balanced attitude and leave the angst with the owner.

If we remain silent and absorb negative energy, then we need to artfully pass it on.  We can do this through singing, exercising, writing, or other ventures  such as:  seeking solitude, praying for the people involved, or forgiving the displayed anger.  By using one of these opportunities, we can move emotions outside of our selves.

No one can make us feel a particular emotion, unless we allow it.  We decide how much energy can be placed into a situation, so we indeed have some limited control.  Don't be a retainer for others anger. Move it on out!

Shed for Flight

 she flew

having tired of the negative words -

she laid them down.

being finished with the weighted boots,

she burned them.

touching a feather to her tears,

she slipped on her winds,

turned to her sky, and flew.

terri st cloud

Bone Sigh Arts

Waiting for Divine Intervention is not always the best resolution to our problems.  We are expected to make personal efforts towards defining our lives with the assistance of spiritual support and encouragement.  We are called to be caterpillar troubadours. We are to be diligent in pushing through our self-imposed casings.  

Release the emotions we have been hoarding, weighing our hearts down.  Throw open the windows of our soul and let the gentle breeze carry in the light.  Get rid of what no longer defines us ... clothes, household decorations, hair styles, and even friends.  Transitioning from the old to the new sometimes requires time.  This extra time is not to be spent waiting.

Begin to patterns.  Create a schedule to visit a library or museum or a church.  Inquire about book clubs, people exploring genealogy, or find some trails to hike.  We can't expect our lives to change if we continuously repeat our old routine.  There are many ways to network and we can find them if we are willing to put ourselves out there.  We cannot sit at home waiting for the perfect friend to come knocking at our door.  

So shed negative images, donate those out dated clothes, and feel the weight slip off our shoulders.  We will feel more energized and better prepared for the flight towards freedom to be who we truly want to be!

Move Forward

"fear is in the head,

courage in the heart."

Louise Penny

Many of us are fear based, even though fear is not factual.  Fear is not reality, and yet it can be dominate and a dictator of our actions.  If we deliberately bring our attention to our heart, we will discover courage.  Courage to carry on, in spite of fear.  When we allow courage to be our focus, we can over ride our fear and move forward.

Courage can be strengthened through positive affirmations.  We can jot a few positive sayings down to carry with us as a reminder of our personal strength.  It is helpful to wear a piece of jewelry not usually worn as a physical reminder to meaningfully repeat our words of support.  

When we avoid sinking back into the past and restrain from looking too far in the future, it is somewhat easier to live in each day within each moment.  Our courage grows as we successfully step through elements of our day with courage radiating from our hearts.  Eventually, fear evaporates.  

When we use our imagination to create a wish list, we remain aware and watch opportunities as they present themselves.   As confidence grows, we will take our dreams a little more seriously, expanding them as we move forward.

Feeding our courage instead of our fear, can alter our life experience at any stage of the game.  We may not be presented with our exact dream, but sometimes it is better than what we imagined!

Full of Your Self!

"Here I am.

This is me.

This is all of me."

Panache Desai 

We have been taught to not be 'full of our self' appearing to be a braggart or arrogant, but if we changed a few words, we create a phrase to live by ... full of spirit.  Everything we are, skill or flaw, has been bestowed upon us by spirit.  Spirit dwells within us and is a forever presence.  

We may be in a position where someone gives us a very direct compliment.  We may respond by shrugging it off, minimizing it or changing subjects.  This situation reflects how we do not embrace our individual strengths, gifts and talents. 

I am a candle burning brightly, radiating out to others to ignite the light within them.  I want to shine brightly so that the exchange can be positive and magnificent allowing spirit to shine through me.  Here I am.  This is me.  This is all of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Please join me in this place of brilliance with strength and dignity, joining your light with mine.

Walking Through Shadows

"It begins with willingness.  With courage.  With vulnerability."

Panache Desai

When we choose to explore inner landscapes, we wander with our light into passages of darkness.  It is often times a very difficult journey, but there are many rewards.  This way of being, balancing our light with our shadows, creates an acceptance of our pretty parts, our dark sides, and everything in between.

The word shadow references mystery or things going bump in the night.  Our shadow is better defined by phrases Panache Desai uses:  past wounds; unfinished business; denied fear; unexpressed rage; self-hatred; unworthiness and anything not fully embraced by our consciousness.  

When we find ourselves judging others, it is like an alarm going off in our head as it is a sure indication this very issue is lurking in side of us as well.  If we criticize someone, we can immediately turn back to ourselves and apply it to our own behavior.  When we blame someone, we can swivel an imaginary mirror back towards our selves to catch that very reflection. Panache Desai states, "What we judge in others are qualities we refuse to see as our own."

So if we find ourselves being insecure or arrogant, we can acknowledge this behavior which pulls it into the light.  It is no longer hidden or repressed.  We then have the opportunity to accept our shadows and eliminate criticizing these very quirks in others.  We will never be perfect, but we will be more humble and accepting of our lovely selves and others.

Carriers of Truth

"As artists, we belong to an

ancient and holy tribe. We

are the carriers of the truth

that spirit moves through us all."

Julia Cameron

Our ancestors are lined up behind us, watching and waiting for us to do our part of the journey.  We have a responsibility to move what has been learned before us to those who have yet to come.  We strive to do our best, not only for our selves, but for those who have already met their challenges and for those waiting in the sidelines, memorizing their future parts to the stream of existence.

There is great question as to whether or not we will ever be a great author or accomplished artist; but this has no bearing on our responsibility  to be the connecting dot between what has been and what may yet to be.  

Spirit exists in the heart of every person and we are carriers of truth.  Truth, as we know it.  Reality as we perceive it.  Life as it is shown to us.  We are tempered by the experiences of our ancestors through DNA, memory, and ancient writings.  The truth of today, may not necessarily hold up to the truth of our tomorrows.

We are one person in a line of many and this is enough to call us forward.  Our personal existence is relevant to those behind us and those who wait.  It is important for us to do our very best with what we have been given.  Endeavor to discover and enhance our gifts to make contributions great or small to the unfolding of all people, places, and things.

Revisiting The Beginner After The Master

""In the beginners mind there are many possibilities,

but in the expert's there are very few."

Suzuki Roshi, Zen Master

An open mind discovers never ending opportunities; whereas, a rigid and closed mind creates a very narrow path.  As a child, adults share information with us, and we are not aware of additional knowledge.  Adults seem to be sharing the gospel and who are we, mere children, to question authority.

Knowledge opens the world to us.  We can choose what to believe and what to disregard.  When our imaginations survive criticism, we can be led to great discoveries.  We experience expansion in our search rather than confinement governed by fear.  

If a great teacher or Master restricts thinking to just one way, without consideration to opposing views, she or he has forgotten the possibilities entertained by the  beginners mind.  There is joy and discovery while using the beginners mind.  It is open, but not immune to discretion.  

We find freedom in exploration, but it does not mean that we become wild or overwhelmed.  We pick and choose our way during the adventure while still observing the scenery.  When we evaluate our beliefs, what better way than to have comparison to reinforce our choices?  When we become familiar with conflicting views, we make more appropriate individual decisions based on fact rather than spoon fed unchallenged rote beliefs.

We play the role of beginner and at other times the role of Master.  It is to our benefit to be able to cycle in and out of both roles, always learning and expanding.  We can share what we have mastered, but continue to gather in even more with a beginners mind.

Pre-Planned or Spontaneous

I have a tendency to 'choke' when asked to write on a particular topic.  I do much better with a free flow style. Actually, my writing begins with several paragraphs before I  get to the heart of the message.  I will go back an eliminate the first few paragraphs, as the writing is not as good as what followed.

When I am writing spontaneously, I write non-stop as it takes a while before all is poured out onto the paper.  I dislike feeling pressured as though my writing were a test.  

My intention is to  allow life to gently unfold,  and the same is true for my writing.  I am never quite certain what will come forth on any given day.  The lesson is never clear in the very beginning.  I try to let myself be led rather than directed or pushed into a pre-planned topic. 

Writing is an insightful experience.  It awakens an awareness, connects me with other sources, and makes me feel alive.  When I get out of my own way, meaningful material seems to arrive.  If I am focused on a fixed subject, it is difficult for me to disengage my ego and trust what might come through.  When I write under direction, my brain overrides my natural authenticity which is usually found when I aimlessly write from my heart or deeper places.

Even if I am assigned a familiar topic, my words have a tendency to be more restricted.  It is so much more fun to be spontaneous just giving freedom for words to line up on a page!

Own It!

"Humility for me, 

is being honest

and clear with myself

and about myself."

Panache Desai

When we align ourselves with our truth, we become empowered.  The trick is to be very clear about weaknesses as well as strengths.  We can still be humble as we claim our strengths, and we do not waste our energy denying our lack of particular skills.  

The act of embracing the entire package, strengthens us, and we no longer seek or require the acknowledgment of others.  Compliments are wonderful to receive, but acknowledging our skill from a deep place within aligns us with our truth.

Humility is in place when we are in harmony with our truth about gifts and talents while being aware of our shortcomings as well.  Personal power is enhanced when with humility, we are honest and clear with ourselves.  We remain aware of our feelings whether they are of joy or insecurity.  It is a practice of not denying, but recognizing what is going on inside.

Panache Desai encourages his readers to do an honest inventory listing good aspects and weaker particulars without any need to enhance or minimize. He encourages us to list our positive attributes, talents and gifts.  When this is accomplished, we have a greater sense of our authentic self and can operate from a place of personal power.  We experience our natural radiance and shine.  We just have to own it!

The Good Music

"You better believe someone is watching

and as long as you keep the good music playing,

before long,

they may just offer you the moon!"

Kristin Fontana

As a mother of four children, all in school, I decided to create a business.  The concept of this business grew very slowly as pieces fell into place.  Every morning upon awakening, I would whisper a quick prayer to God, saying "What can be done today?"  In those years, I felt God was present in each moment of every day.  

My business became a reality as I never felt as though I was in the adventure alone.  Requirements for my shop were readily met by strangers appearing with whatever I needed.  Along the way, I would say, "God, if this is what you will have me to do, these things will need to be provided."  Sure enough, needs would be timely met.  New people entered my life, continuously providing needed insight, skills, or advice moving my adventure forward.

When my shop was up and running, I indeed was successful on my own terms.  I changed my  waking conversation with God to, "What will I be called to do today?"  Each day, at least one person would appear who would be lonely, confused, or seeking.  The nature of my business allowed me to clearly be present in the moment with the visitor.  I felt as though God worked through me for each person in unique ways.  

In those years, I lived as though the days were not mine alone, but God's as well.  It was a blissful  existence, but only respite.   As a spiritual seeker, my image of God kept growing and expanding my vision, but well placed boundaries were broken by others, and needs shifted to a greater scale.  Life changed in spite of my diligence.

The years have passed bringing change, but much remains the same.  Every morning when I wake, I still whisper, "What will I need to offer today?"  I have reverently replaced the restrictive  noun "God" to the ever changing verb, Spirit.  Spirit moves in and out of my body, mind and spirit.  Spirit is my presence, not simply watching me, but actively living with me.  I do keep the good music playing, even though I often miss an entire chorus,  and the moon rises and sets with my love every day.

Standing In Our Own Space

grace

maybe grace is figuring out it's not

all about you.

that people are doing what they're 

doing for their own reasons.

not yours.

and maybe grace is accepting that.

terri st cloud

bone sigh arts

One of the greatest personal experiences is when we learn to stand in our own space.  When we embrace our own power  and feel so fully complete, we do not readily absorb the words, actions or observations of others.  We are so in touch with our own presence, nothing pulls us off course.  We are steadfast, in a position to observe others without implicating ourselves.  We can truly listen to their story without distraction.  We can watch their body language, and understand more deeply their level of pain.  All, having nothing to do with our lovely selves,

When we are able to remove our thoughts of judgement, anticipation, or protection, we are no longer side tracked.  Our rapt attention will bring nurturing to the other without disturbing our own balance.  As we move from one moment to the next, we are extending love to the other which can be a powerful in itself.  

We are free when we stand in our own space.  There are no attachments to the past, present or future.  We simply are being present.  We don't have to formulate tricky questions or enhanced resolutions which cause us to miss half of what is being shared.  When we stand in the space of respect, honor, and love, for both ourselves and others, we realize everyone has their own agenda, and quite frequently, it has nothing to do with us.  Perhaps, this is the gift of grace.