Stretching Point For Others

"May I be a bridge."

Shanti deva

Sifting through my memories on New Years Eve, I come to realize how frequently I have stood upon a bridge watching water flow.  Water needs current to pull it along so that it will not become stagnant. and the same can be said of our emotions.  

A bridge over water has always been a place for contemplation.  Methodically, I stand on one side to think of where I have been.  Then, I walk to the other side and wonder where I will go.  When I stand in the middle, I sincerely try to integrate both sides into my present thinking.

Standing in the middle of a bridge is perfect.  One cannot see too far behind nor too far ahead.  Right in the middle is where I find comfort as anything seems possible.  The bridge itself is a support system, not intended to lead me one way or the other.  It suspends me above unnecessary emotions, and uncovered, allows me to hear the voices carried upon the wind.

In the midst of my reverie, I realize I want to be a bridge for others.  Not to direct them one way or another, but to support them while they too can observe the churning water below or gaze into the floating clouds of possibility.  I want to offer them a comfort zone where they can integrate what is necessary for them to carry on.

So this is my intention, to be a stretching point for others.  To have trees and birds on one end and a gentle wandering path on the other.  To have the undercurrent of emotions below, moving, not stagnant, and the ability to look up into the warmth of the sun in the sky.  Alone, I will not be afraid as the moon will arrive at night bringing forth a star studded sky.

Initial Steps Out Of Comfort Zone

"Never ignore a nudge or whisper from God."

GodFruits.com 

Divine Spirit works in miraculous ways, often times called synchronicity.  We need to begin in the moment we hear a whisper of intention.  Not next week, but today, this very moment.  We may be wondering about a topic when we are nudged to pick up a book, and there the very subject is presented.  Encouraged to turn down a street we have never been on before, we discover the perfect rental property.  On a lark we call a massage therapist and learn the next appointment just got cancelled.  Our brain is fried and the deadline is quickly approaching, so the thought of taking a walk is ludicrous.  Except, out of frustration, we take the walk anyway, and come up with a brilliant resolve.

We tell ourselves stories, wasting moments, days, and years:

I cannot afford it right now. (This may be true, but you can begin on a smaller scale like making a collage of destinations; dream homes; or new job.)

When I retire I will _____ .  (Don't wait, begin now on a smaller scale.  Make preparations currently so the plan will fall into place.)

I will be happy when I meet a significant other. (Learn to make yourself happy now so you will attract even more happiness into your life.)

Never will it happen that some one miraculously comes to your door delivering a life filled with all of your dreams.  We must be an active participant.  We must be the ones to open the door which requires us to take initial steps out of our comfort zone.  Do it.  You will be so glad you did!

Capture a Moment

"I am quite happy."

Dipa Ma

Knee Deep in Grace

Observe a child covered in mud.  The young mind is joyful and creative. There is an element of peace, contentment and lightness of the heart. The child's mind captures a moment.  Their movement is impulsive filled with excitement.  For the child, there is no intention setting as the time is now.  This very moment.  A child does not wait for the perfect day or the best time to begin an adventure. 

During a holiday party, I intentionally aimed my conversation towards creative play.  "So, what are you currently doing to entertain your creative spirit?"  One woman told me she had chosen journaling for a New Year's intention, but she had not found the perfect journal as of yet.  Another friend had set the intention to register for a winter class at the local junior college, but she was having difficulty narrowing the selections down, so had not followed through as of yet.  Lastly, an acquaintance was going to run a marathon in the New Year, but she had to join a gym, find a trainer, and get some appropriate workout clothes.  

As adults, we can recapture this sense of deep play, once we shred the layers of self-imposed restrictions.  When a magnificent idea floats through our head, we do not need a perfect instrument to write the inspiration.  We can grab a pencil and a napkin and quickly jot the insight down before it evaporates. If we are yearning for a classroom experience, we can ask our selves, "what is it I truly want to explore?"  Choose one class and begin.  There will always be other classes to choose from.  As for physical training, intentions are great, but what can we do right now in the moment?

Play was meant to be spontaneous filled with delight whether it is a walk through a mud puddle or glimpse at the sun as it sets.  No finance charges, admission fees nor special equipment.  Belly laughs release our anxiety and mud between our toes provides the sense of expansive freedom.

Just Let It Be

"To let go does not mean to get rid of.  To let go

means to let be.  When we let be with compassion,

things come and go on their own."

Jack Kornfield

We lug around old emotional baggage as we think we are not ready to get rid of it.  We hang on,  thinking we will one day look at the memory and see things all healed and pretty.  Meantime, it disrupts our peace of mind and keeps us off balance. This is idealistic and faulty thinking that keeps us weighted down.  

To simply let be means we may not understand, may not be able to fix,  or may not be able to go back in time, but we are no longer going to be investing our time and energy into holding it emotionally captive, weighing on our minds.  We do not  have to resolve, judge, or take action, other than just pulling our emotions out of the memory bank. 

Think of an electrical outlet with numerous plugs hanging from it.  Each connection is draining energy and this is true of our emotional overload as well.  When we pull out a few plugs,  it frees up energy for other things.  We will not short circuit or break into flames of fire.

There are incidents in life  where we are most compassionate when we just let something be.  No intrusion, manipulation, or personal gain.  When we restrain ourselves from obsessing, we unplug from the emotional charge.  

We can visualize ourselves leaving our old memories or disturbing thoughts at the base of a tree or swirling out into the ocean.  Without our constant hovering, we will feel exceptionally better and wonder why we were dragging all of that old stuff around for so long!  With compassion, just let it be.

Remedy to Refurbish

"You have to love yourself because no amount of love

from others is sufficient to fill the yearning 

that your soul requires from you."

Dodinsky

When we begin to adjust to the aftermath of the holidays, we notice more specific things about ourselves.  We may find ourselves irritable from being around too many people, disruption in digestion from over eating (food not particularly healthy), and simply out of sorts.

Returning to our normal routine may not be enough.  We may need to step outside, no matter what the weather, and just breathe in fresh air.  We may have to use our voice and decline a few invitations.   Double up on vitamin C and go to bed early or take a nap.  Getting the house back into shape will eventually happen.  Do not force tasks that are not yet ready to be tackled.

We have spent the last month focusing on the needs of others, so now we need to turn back inside of our lovely selves and tune into what we specifically need.  We can restore ourselves through exercise, massage, long walks, solitary reading, meditation, yoga, or anything self-prescribed.   What will make us most relaxed ... listening to music, picking up a paint brush, or journal assisted by a hot cup of tea.

So for this moment, be nice to lovely you.  Treat yourself with loving care.  Act like an unexpected guest in your own home. Nurture, with human kindness.  Gently return to inner harmony and physical balance. Tomorrow is another day!

  

Blanket of Peace

"That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality 

- your soul, if you will - 

is as bright and shining as any that has ever been ...

Clear away everything that keeps you separate from these

secret luminous places.  

Believe it exists, come to know it better,

nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly."

George Saunders

If you will, take a pause and sit quietly with your lovely self.  Breathe in love and Breathe out peace.  Do this three times.  I am serious, please do this.  Gently let your eye lids drop and envision a bright little star hovering in the sweetest part of your warm heart.  Breathe the light in. Breathe the light out.

As you relax your toes, legs and arms, give our shoulders a little lift while rotating your head resting upon your neck.  Let your jaw become slack, while deep breathing one more time.  Be comfortable on your 'sit' bone, and let the journey begin.

The star in your heart shines brightly and begins to extend itself.  With each beat of your loving heart, the star increases its size and light.  The light drips down inside of your body and rises up into your creative mind.  You are especially comfortable being filled by this light.

Feeling love and peace, let the light extend itself outside of your body.  Allow it to create a layer of protective love from head to toe.  As you gently breathe, the light continues to flow out into your surrounding space ... out into the community ... out across the world ... like a blanket of peace and a pillow of love.  

When you are ready, breathe once again feeling rested and connected.  Let this peace and love radiate from you wherever life leads you.  Blessings.

Solitary Refinement

"Shut your eyes so the heart 

may become your eye,

and with that vision,

look upon the world."

Rumi

Holy Days are for everyone.  Nations, religions, and creeds are all passages to the Divine.  Symbols and rhetoric are no more important than spiritual rituals discovered during Spiritual Refinement.  As our belief system is refreshed and expanded, we give way to certain limitations and embrace what was once hidden.  Wisdom befalls upon us requiring respect for one and all.  

Through spiritual seeking, all things become holy and  actions grow into reverence.  Lighting candles, watching the stars, feeding the birds, and displaying random acts of kindness all become segments of a spiritual practice.  Cleansing with sage, chakra clearing, meditation or prayer, we
re-frame our thoughts in preparation for the Divine.

When we are alone, heart open and mind quieted, we hear the words of a God by personal definition, offering healing, insight, and vision.  We reconfigure the balance between our body, mind, and spirit.  With this balance we establish peace, and  we can turn our hearts and minds towards others with deep compassion.  Let an inner light shine so brightly that all can see the peace and love in our heart.

The Gift of Presence

"The most precious gift we can offer others

is our presence."

Thich Nhat Hanh

It is during this holiday season we feel most alone.  Like children, we build up expectations and when they fall short, our fall is gravely felt. We allow ourselves to feel lesser than even when we have offered our best.

It is not the foil gift wrap, the curled ribbon, nor the fancy card.  Meaning is found in the heart that gives and receives.   We are the gift to be shared with others. When we learn to love ourselves, just as we are, we are more likely to embrace others, just as they are.  When we believe we are accepted in spite of weaknesses, we are less likely to judge others.  

When we find ourselves alone, we can choose to be a witness to someone else.  We can simply be a present by being present.  When we kindle our light, in spite of circumstances, we can hope to bring warmth to the coldest of hearts, including our own.

As we witness the lives of others, whether as volunteers, strangers, or close friends, we are a living message.   Spirit moves messages through us even when we are unaware; just as Spirit whispers to us if we are willing to hear.

The gift of presence relays a message of hope, love, peace, and good cheer. 

The Entry Point

"Wherever you are,

that is the entry point."

Kabir

All roads lead to where we need to be.  Some are short, long, bumpy, smooth, bricked, paved, graveled, steep, or winding.  We have free will to choose one in hopes of finding our way home.  There is no right or wrong journey even though some are shorter or longer; easy or difficult; creative or boring; or successful or unsuccessful.  Each road offers differing lessons to assist us in finding our way.  In the moment, we may feel the passage is not meeting our needs, but in hindsight, we will discover how truly vital it had been.

We may even travel down one road more than one time, not realizing it until the end.  It may have had different scenery or people or no people, but indeed it was the same road.  This is true as we view our surroundings through different lenses.  What we see during one trip may not at all be what we discover on the next venture.  

The mistake we make is expecting the road to lead to a gate of personal enlightenment.  We do not realize what we need is always present.  We are so busy looking outside of ourselves, we miss the  road signs and end up at a dead end.  Whether we are on the road less traveled or a busy highway, our own commitment is essential to opening the gate which ironically is within.  So if we are engaged in looking around us, we may become inspired, but we will not find what we so desperately seek.  As long as we are not focusing on the road inward, we will journey for a very long time.

So the road we choose to follow is not as important as the passageway we create inward.  Once we  engage with our inner light, we find our entry point.  Begin wherever we find ourselves.  Don't wait for a special day, an exotic trip, or a skilled mentor.  Just begin by moving inward. Create a connection  with  our inner spirit and we will find our personal entry point leading us home.

Lives I Am Not Living

"Sometimes I can feel my bones 

straining under the weight of all 

the lives I am not living."

Jonathan Safran Foer

Extremely Loved and Incredibly Close

Days without sunshine, spending time on things that have to be completed, and not getting enough sleep is taking a toll.  Little time is left for me to work on my writing and reading which is my source of passion for the day.   While I am out of my loosely knit routine, I am easily distracted and scattered. Imagined lives I am not living are slipping away.  Preparation for the holidays can be fun if not exhausting, and there is my selfish little child crying, "What about me?"

Why is it when my schedule is full, I can think of numerous tasks I'd love to take on?  Then when there is a wrinkle in time I could claim as my own, I am so disorganized I cannot think of one thing I'd really like to do.  As my December days seem to be overflowing with 'need to do' tasks, and my inner self is rapidly sending me creative ideas, I decided there must be a way for compromise.

I have started making an on going list.  Every time an idea crops up while I am wrapping presents or trapped in holiday cheer, I make a quick notation with some additional ideas.  My list is growing and instead of dreading the let down usually felt in January, I am looking forward to an exciting list of things that will restore my sense of 'me'.   I no longer feel the weight of the season, only joy.  The strain has been replaced by an eagerness to enter the gloom of January with my inner light glowing.    I will have my list as a map to explore the lives I felt I was missing.

Holding The Universe

"She wasn't doing a thing that I could see,

except standing there leaning on the balcony railing,

holding the Universe together."

J.D. Salinger

THE GIRL I KNEW

My admiration falls upon unrecognized souls dedicated to healing the condition of Mother Earth, quietly reaching out to fellow dwellers in need,  and silently praying for those who struggle all over the world. Out of camera sight, in plain view, every day people are extending prayers, energy work, and humble actions. Setting aside celebrities, officials, and tin gods, unrecognized souls are quietly rendering peace into the world.  

Perhaps they are not specifically courageous nor fire eating specialists, but they have unconditional love coursing through a heart not knowing separation.  These unknown souls, living ordinary lives take extraordinary silent steps towards respect, peace, and compassion, never seeking gain, recognition nor fame.  These unidentified workers of goodness,  tirelessly hold the Universe together.

Holding the Universe together, these unnoticed humans do not necessarily recognize anything special about themselves.  They may have many outside contacts or none;  others may never know of the rendered personal acts;  and bringing attention to themselves is the last thing they desire.

There are people meeting in parks, forming symbols by where they stand, sending loving light out into the world and into Mother Earth.  Some friends gather in a section of a community, and as they walk, they extend positive energy, peace and love.  Still others travel to other countries to meet like minded souls to sit in monasteries, up in mountains or at vortexes holding thoughts of peace, love and world wisdom.  Through the internet and Skype, still others join at a certain time regularly to pray together, to send healing energy out into the world, and request miracles for suffering children.

Our focus desperately needs to be upon the goodness in our world.  Turn off the news and do not read the sensational acts of vandalism and violence.  We will not bury our heads in the sand regarding the existing problems, but focusing only on the negative, begets more negative.  Counter balance the anger being displayed by dedicating prayers, meditations, energy work to the good of all.  Be an invisible beholder of the Universe.

Craziness In Our Head

"The mind is its own place, 

and in itself can make a heaven of hell,

a hell of heaven."

John Milton

Holidays trigger emotions within our families, within our surrounding environments, and within our thoughts.  We worry about buying the right gift, returning to old dysfunctional places, and whether or not we are going to measure up.

We may find ourselves in a perfect scenario, a dream come true, but if allowed, ego can trigger our fears and ruin the glory around us.  When our minds are filled with fear, we can choose to  gently uncoil into a safe moment to regain appropriate balance.

Stop the craziness!  Stay in the present moment and deeply feel the connection with life and all parts of the self.  We are no longer a child, and we can give ourselves permission to turn down invitations or abbreviate visits, if it will help us to stay positive and clear thinking.  We have choice, and as an adult, we can shoulder the responsibility of decision making and live with the results

When we do not stay connected in the real world (grounded), our ego takes flight sprinkling fear throughout our moments, days, and nights, creating full blown craziness in our heads.  If we find our minds 'making crazy', we need to become honest and identify what is the cause of our discomfort.

Every morning we can set an intention to stay in the moment and maintain our sense of peace.  Drama will fall away when we no longer invest in it.  Our thinking will remain positive and we will no longer be a sponge absorbing negativity.

Playing Opossum

"With unfailing kindness, your life always presents

what you need to learn.  Whether you stay at home or 

work in an office or whatever, 

the next teacher is going to pop right up."

Charlotte Joko Beck

To experience a Master is very powerful experience, but teachers come in all forms and sizes.  A variety of lessons are learned without us even realizing we are being taught.  If we are unaware or not living in the present, situations escape us. Some of the best lessons are portrayed by a young child or a creature of nature and not by a world shaking event.

I had just finished my coffee and was rinsing out my cup, when I looked outside through the kitchen window and observed an opossum delicately walking across our privacy fence.  It was broad day light and opossums are nocturnal.  So was this a teacher for me?  

I immediately turned to Ted Andrews magnificent book, ANIMAL-SPEAK and searched the resource for opossums.  The questions triggered were spot on:  Are you acting in an inappropriate manner (not being true to myself); Do you need to strengthen your appearance (stop body image criticism); Are others trying to divert your attention (allowing distractions from my heart's desire); and,  Is it time for a new strategy (personal discipline will advance my journey).  I have a destructive habit of keeping myself small (playing opossum) or minimizing my value. Message received, thank you very much.

Granted, every neighbor could have seen this animal and each one could have differing responses or none at all.  It is really a matter of us being in the moment, eyes open, and receiving the messages that are so freely given. Our lives are enriched on a daily basis if we but embrace the world surrounding us.  By doing so, we feel a part of the Universe, connected and not separate. 

Difficult Decisions

"When we do not know what choice to make,

our best bet is to search our heart for the act

that would be most in harmony

 with our most important ideals, 

and to act on the high standard."

Alan Cohen

THE DRAGON DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Ego enjoys keeping us undecided.  It highlights the wisdom of the Universe, which allows us to feel separate and unwise.  Truth is, the Universe abounds with knowledge, but if we choose to look within ourselves as well, we will find many insights and answers.  We can scan our heart for wisdom gathered from previous lessons, and filter out information that best resonates with who we truly are in this moment.

If we base decisions only on our past, our actions can be tainted by old wounds and attitudes we no longer possess.  When we look through our heart, we can make decisions that resonate with who we are today.  As we continue to evolve and grow, we also adjust our personal code of honor to reflect those very changes.  

When we react too quickly, using an outdated bases for a decision, we can use our voice by saying, "You know, that is not going to work for me.  Let me amend my decision."  There is strength, not weakness, in tempering our decisions.  A flexible attitude projects fairness; whereas, rigid thinking often leads to narrow thinking.  

If we are perplexed and someone is demanding an answer, a very good response would be:  "If you need an immediate answer right now in this moment, it is no.  If, however, you can allow me a little time to think this over, I may be more open minded."  We can give ourselves permission to not know and to allow more time for us to find harmony between our thoughts, words, and actions. 

You Don't Know Me

You, see, our stories become an ongoing love letter

to someone you may not know.

James Nolan

YOU DON'T KNOW ME

For me, it has never been important for the reader to know who I am.  I want my words to open minds, heal hearts, and encourage creativity.  I think of my self as the silent companion, being a non-physical presence for those who might feel alone.

Credit must be given to my writers group for teaching me how to blog.  My friend, now residing in New Zealand, welcomed the group into her home and instructed each of us on our lap tops, how to proceed.  In the last four and a half years, I have entered 1518 posts. Finding a new way to channel my writing has been a life changing experience for me with over 50,000 readers.

In grade school, I wrote in many small diaries.  During the summer of 7th and 8th grade, I wrote two novels.  While attending a private college prep academy, it became clear that writing was definitely one of my strengths.  I am certain being an obsessive reader assisted my skills in writing.  Receiving my very own library card in grade school was more exciting than my drivers license in high school.

When I had read every book available to my age level, I received special permission to move into the high school section with the assistance of the librarian.  As my reading expanded, so did my writing.  There was so much for me to write about, I gave up on diaries and graduated to notebooks.  The challenge was where to keep them as privacy was not a high priority in my home.

My love for silent speech took on a new form in my later years of high school.  I began speaking in front of groups and then audiences.  My thoughts were assembled through reading, writing, and performing.  On into college, I received more encouragement and opportunities to share.  Both joy and freedom were found through the spoken and unspoken word.

Laboriously, I could continue on with a time line of my love for writing, but I would rather impress upon you that every single individual has the ability to write.  Punctuation, perfect grammar, or complete sentences are not important in a journal.  I have a friend who sketches and never writes a word.

A private journal offers a place for releasing words one cannot speak.  Words that might frighten or insult others.  Line after line can be filled with observations of nature or the world surrounding us.  It is a place for fear, sorrow, and unfulfilled dreams.  It is validation that the author indeed is real.

My qualifications and my longings are found in the following:  Articulating Silence, Deciphering Dreams, and Exploring Inner Landscapes.  I am thankful for anyone who shares this time and space with me.  I encourage everyone to begin a journey with a journal and observe their inner selves unfold.  With deep gratitude and a thankful heart, I remain, Virginia's Voice.

Tunnel of Time

"I guess when you turn off the main road,

you have to be prepared to see some

funny houses."

Stephen King

Holiday gatherings make us more aware of how much we have changed.  Whether we revisit family, old neighborhoods, or friends, we discover the need to adjust ourselves to meet the situation.  Conversations are picked up where we left off, and our mind speeds through the tunnel of time, remembering where we last departed.  

Gathering with old acquaintances make us aware of how well we have traveled on our envisioned map.  Have we taken all of the appropriate roads, missed any turns, or wandered off the road entirely?

The key question is whether or not we were prepared.  We can travel anywhere, get lost, or discover dead ends, but all is good if we have a plan.  

Much to our dismay, conversations may reflect we have remained on the main road, passing the same landmarks and digging a rut in our routine.  Excitedly, we may share an adventure experienced after wandering off our intended route.  The first situation tells us we neglected to follow our plan.  The second situation demonstrates flexibilitity even when there is a plan.  There are many levels of readiness to embrace our journeys. 

If we are too rigid with our plans, we may overlook an option to lead us deeper into our bliss.  If we are too vague, we may endlessly wander.  We are best prepared when we have a strong core and open attitude.  In this way, we may laugh at the funny houses, rather than be placed in them!

Holiday Dance Card

"We all experience pain and pleasure.

We all gravitate to what's comfortable,

and have an aversion to what's not."

Pema Chodron

During the holidays, everyone is doing an emotional dance, missing a step or two, bumping indelicately into others, and yearning to be off the dance floor.  If we remain confident on our feet, we will not step into the drama or illusions of others.  

We can choose to not react to another person's tangent.  As they rant, we can mentally send them peace, love, and acceptance.  We can be a model of calm and deescalate building fear.  We can breathe in our own emotions, aware of tension, stress, or fear, and gently breathe out our feelings, releasing everything with a willingness to be free of them.  As we refrain from comment during a confrontation, we can be extending peace and calm rather than searching for resolve or acid responses.

When we remember all of us get our toes stepped on, compassion flows a little easier.  If we can look behind words and see fear, we can be present with loving kindness.  Challenge touches the lives of everyone, even though it may be dressed a little differently and responses are varied.  

Dance partner to dance partner, manage the tricky steps rather than withdrawing into the faulty comfort of a two step.  What we ignore, tends to reappear further down on our holiday dance card!

Turn This Around

"That peace will emanate out from you,

surrounding and touching everything

in your path."

Panache Desai

My eyes were half open when I realized I felt off balance.  Maybe a dream impacted my feelings or was I sensing overwhelm from the forthcoming day. I really was not certain. 

Words from Panache Desai's book,  Discovering Your Soul Signature, came floating back to me.  "Turn this around."  His words encouraged the reader to turn fear into love, and to "be the change."  I was to see every opportunity of the day as a challenge to remain clearly centered and balanced.

At the first sense of disharmony, I can pause and determine what is triggering me, rather than ignoring the feelings to build and ruin the entire day.  As I readily determine my irritation of the moment, I can step through the illusion and return to harmony.  In doing this, I disallow any one from taking my peace from me.  

I will shift and I will make the change, knowing that I cannot alter anyone but myself.  I will navigate my day, willing to remove blocks before they build a foundation.  Peace is at my core, waiting for challenge to flow through it and pass on by.  It is up to me to turn any potential negativity around.  The decision is mine.

Making A List and Checking It Twice

Holiday to do list:

1. Buy Presents ... Be present

                  2. Wrap gifts ... Wrap someone in a hug

3. Send gifts ... Send peace

4. Shop for food ... Donate food

5. Make cookies ... Make love

6. See the lights ... Be the light

Eco-Vegan Gal

Every person has an individual streak of creativity.  Zero in on what you do best and utilize it to personalize the holiday season.  Think out of the box for ideas that express heartfelt caring.  Offer to help put up an elder's Christmas tree or give a card designating willingness to help take down the tree. 

Instead of purchasing another ugly sweater for a relative, recall what they truly like.  Maybe they love birds so make or purchase a bird feeder or deliver a stack of bird feed in a plastic tub with a heavy lid.  There may be a repair badly needed, but often times people who have no sense of fixing things, delay finding a trustworthy repair man.  Offer to fix a leaking faucet or install a safety railing.  This will mean much more than an ugly sweater.

When a neighbor fell on the ice and broke her wrist, another neighbor generously offered to   address Christmas cards.  Another neighbor offered to babysit for a couple of hours while the parents went shopping.  When I was working full time and a single mother, I was elated to receive a basket of home made goodies. There are numerous opportunities to help.

Gifts do not necessarily need to be newly purchased.  Maybe it is time to pass down a grandmother's quilt; a piece of china preserved by the family for years; framed old photo of ancestors; or an item that is frequently admired.  

This year, give from your heart.  Share your lovely self with others just by being present.  Many people become depressed during the holidays, so wrap them in a hug.  Bring an element of peace into  a troubled life.  Make extra holiday treats and share with others.  Exchange earnest conversations with those who are important to you.  When we tame our ego, we become a bright and shining star helping in the lives of others.  By giving, we do truly end up receiving.

Hugs or Instant Messages

"The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don't talk anymore, they don't sit down to talk and listen.  If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories."  Paulo Coelho


There have been numerous conversations about the impact of technology on our abilities to expressively communicate.  My thoughts have been along the lines of the connectedness computers, and super speed telephones create amongst people.  I have been thinking maybe some people are more apt to stay in touch if they can quickly send a text rather than securing time for a conversation.  Also, I have been imagining school kids who now have the ability to walk into an empty home with the safety of a parent on the line.  Technology, I have been thinking, has maybe increased communication.

This morning I was seeking a picture to reflect communication.  I looked under gatherings, and communication.  I found endless photos of machines being used by humans, stripped of the element of emotion.   These tools indeed make life easier, but at what cost?

I communicate every day through texts and on line exchanges, preferring not to call and interrupt a person's busy day.  If they are busy, they can respond when they have time.  This is balanced, however, by participating in small groups where I can tell my story, and listen to the journeys of other dear friends.

Relationships are established through personal communication, one on one sharing, listening and reporting.  Smart phones and other devices are additional tools to maintain formed relationships.  Even when we have a strong sense of another person, just reading a statement can easily be misinterpreted.  There is more depth when we can hear the timber of a voice, sense the aspect of emotion, and see the telling facial expressions.  Hopefully, an instant message will never replace the nurturing experience of an embrace.

 

Responses Become Kind

"We train in seeing that others are not so different from ourselves.

We train in opening our hearts and minds

in increasingly difficult situations."

Pema Chodron

The Places That Scare You

Mahatma Gandhi stated: "Peace between countries must rest on the solid foundation of love between individuals."  We are called to 'love our neighbors as ourselves' and yet we struggle within our families, communities, states, and countries.  When our responses become kind rather than rooted in prejudice or aggression, we will begin to cultivate peace within and outside of our selves.

As individuals, we are focused upon our own suffering or deliberately ignore the suffering of others, which creates distance between relationships.  Instead of focusing on our differences, we could choose to recognize our similarities.  At the time of establishing a kinship, we will be more reluctant to strike upon any one, as it is truly a strike against our selves.

Life is filled with challenges for each human being.  In life, we learn through our lessons and develop compassion not only for ourselves, but for others as well.  In recognizing our individual worth, we will be less threatened and more eager to help others.  Working together creates a momentum for peace and working against each other stirs aggression.

As a nation, if we choose to ignore our problems and the problems of others, our focus will be on securing our own strengths at the cost of others.  Once we stop assessing the level of wrongness and focus on resolution we will begin to work towards harmony.  

There are those who are doing amazing things for other countries and personal communities without recognition or reward.    When we begin to cultivate peace within our inner core, we can be strong enough to extend it to others on any scale.  Small acts of kindness offered by the masses will begin the shift of correction rather than destruction.

Touch A Life

"To make a difference in some one's life, 

you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect.

You just have to care."

Mandy Hale

Two young brothers had too much time on their hands, so they bundled up in layers of clothing and headed outside into the snow.  After an hour of snow ball fights and basic horsing around, they grabbed two shovels from the garage and headed down the street.  They randomly chose homes and proceeded to shovel driveways.  

At one residence, a woman yelled at them to go away as she knew 'what they were up to' and she wasn't going to pay them!  In spite of her abrasive words, they quickly finished their task and left.  In another area of the neighborhood, a family came across the street to assist them.  Afterwards, the helpful neighbors invited them in for cookies and hot chocolate.  An elderly woman, apparently living alone without family near, cried to be receiving their services free.  She also sweetly talked them into hanging a wreath on her door.  

The intention of these young men was to burn off some excess energy.  They did not have a plan nor did they donate large amounts of money.  And yet, they touched the lives of others.  The strangers were a combination of rudeness, generosity, and engagement.  

When we create an attitude of caring, we offer an opportunity which can be embraced or rejected by others.  We put our best foot forward and observe where it may lead without expectation or reward.  What the world gives us in return builds our sense of worthiness.  As recipients, our world becomes filled with loving kindness.

Light Leading the Way

"We all desire to find our tribe,

a community of those that feel

comfortable to us

and nurture our journey."

Madisyn Taylor

Daily Om

Throughout the holidays, we come in contact with new acquaintances and interact with extended circles of friends.  The art of conversation can be intimidating for many, especially when we are not in our comfort zone.  

There is nothing quite as comforting as being in the presence of those we trust, respect, and honor. They reciprocate the very same back to us.  Joy can fill our hearts just being with those who accept our weaknesses and our strengths.  Like minded spirits who encourage, support, and tolerate our challenges are often the light leading the way, and we in turn lead them as well.

Those whom we hold dear, see beyond our masks, fears, and imperfections.  They truly listen to what we are saying or not saying and are capable of warming our very soul.  We are embraced without hesitation or restraint.

During the month of December, we need to reach out to our soul sisters prior to becoming emotionally depleted.  The gesture is to remind us we are not alone.  When we  extend ourselves, we strengthen the relationship and become more patient, loving, and kind.

As the holiday pace increases, single out time for restoration.  Connect in small ways to maintain a sense of peace.  We are not walking our path alone.  We are on a journey together.

Contagious Actions

""If you gather up all the parts of yourself, 

and love them, 

that love becomes contagious."

Panache Desai

When we transition from striving to be 'enough' to remembering we are well supplied, we can settle into being fully ourselves.  It would be wonderful if we all could make a huge world changing event during our life time, but 'how we are' in this world is of grand importance.  Panache Desai shares, "If you are at peace with yourself, you are already making a difference."  Supporting world peace or volunteering in our community are excellent efforts, but we must first "take responsibility and stock of our own path of consciousness."

The gift of our peaceful selves can be a profound contribution.  When we are in alignment with ourselves, we carry positive energy that vibrates out into  the external world.  We are being the change we want to see.  Our peaceful energy joins the collective energy impacting us all.  Our collective energy will gain momentum and assist the world in shifting from fear to love.

Pause ... Think ... Speak

"Let your mind be like a tightly woven net

to catch emotions and feelings that come,

and investigate them before you react."

Ajahn Chah

As the winds escort us towards winter, thoughts of the holidays stir our memories.  If we are repressing old anger or resentment, we may retaliate to loved ones around us with unjust cause.  Unexamined emotions can create havoc for ourselves and those surrounding us.  

If we can slow ourselves down, we can create a space for investigation just prior to response.  Think before we speak is great advice.  Are our responses aligned with our immediate situation or are we on automatic pilot from the past?  

When we experience a friend or foe poking at us with an emotional stick, the created space prior to response gives us the option of responding in the manner that most suits us.  We will refrain from an immediate response like a child, and we will not invest energy into a negative conversation.  The majority of the time, the person coming towards us aggressively has issues all of his or her own and have nothing to do with us.  

We can choose to be a mirror to ourselves and to others.  Look into our mirror and ask, "Is this my issue?"  If it is, take the time to  minimize raw feedback.  If it is not our issue, we can mirror back to the person being aggressive.  "Seems like you are having a really rough day," or "This doesn't seem to be the best time," and allow the other person his or her own space to sort through emotions.  

A new holiday jingle: Pause ... Think ... Speak  

Silence Leads Inside

"When you become aware of silence,

immediately there is that state of inner

alertness.  You are present.  You have

stepped out of thousands of years of

collective human conditioning.

Eckhart Tolle

Eastern cultures have been mastering silence through a variety of practices for centuries.  In very early stages of life, the mind is trained to be still through daily applications.  Throughout life, individuals have developed the ability to go within at will.

Western cultures are striving to perfect road ways to silence.  An appreciation has been developed for the connection experienced by going within instead of always seeking guidance from the outside world.  To create a personal practice of meditation, one becomes empowered.  In the stillness, wisdom appears through the silence of body, mind, and spirit.  

A connection is made through contemplation that can be categorized as sacred or inspiring.  Silence is a key ingredient.  Idle chatter falls away; negative tapes stop playing; distractions decrease; and one begins to meet the true inner self.

In the present moment, surrounded by silence, an individual begins to feel authentic love, respect, and honor.  The connection with all things increases, while separateness and isolation melt away.  Even depression can be lifted by discovering the wonder of silence.  Follow the beating of the heart until safety is discovered inside.

Decisions Under Pressure

"No matter what befalls you,

your freedom of choice is yours ~

even if the only choices open to you

involve nothing more 

than riding out the storm."

Madisyn Taylor

Daily Om

As a reaction to conflict, we can pitch a tantrum like a child; ignore reality like a teenager; or explore options like an adult.  We always have options, even though they might not be stellar.  Once we make a decision, we experience a sense of freedom.  With decision making, we are tapping our internal power rather than external.  Connecting with our heart and feelings, we are responding in an authentic way, not a knee-jerk reaction.  

When we exercise our freedom of choice, we are less likely to feel trapped.  The act of deciding escorts us from victim mode to action which is empowering.  Even if the choice  is to wait a little longer before a final decision, we have established room for a well thought out plan.  Doing nothing, can be a decision in itself.

When we are confronted with an either or situation, and neither option is in our favor, we can pause and ask, "Do I really want to invest my energy in this?"  In life, we are often backed against a wall, forcing us to change course rather than endure.  Demands can be opportunities to reassess a relationship, career, or opportunity.

It is important to consult our inner self asking: what do I truly want;  how will I arrange my priorities; does my hard work benefit myself, others, or both; and where do I really want to be?  We have no business making decisions when we are not in touch with our realistic personal desires.  If we are under great pressure, forced to make a decision that is not clear to us, we need  a time out.  The decision we make under pressure, may not be in our best interest.  When we take a few steps away, we begin to see the situation through a different lens, perhaps seeing the bigger picture,  which will help us with a better suited choice.

The Power of Choice

We have the power, each of us, not only to change our own lives and bring them into harmony with the ten thousand things, but also to nourish others, to heal this planet.  The harmony, nourishment, and healing are within the capabilities of the same science and technology that have created the destruction.  We can do it! John Daido Loori Teachings of the Earth We build a campfire or turn on our fireplace expecting it to impact our personal space.  We know the fire will extend warmth, produce dancing colors, and let our vision blur into comfort.  This same fire could burn down a forest or create extreme damage to a family and it's dwelling.  It is all about choice. Our scientists and inventors have discovered immense power, and they too can use it for providing a better environment or for mass destruction.  There is choice. The same seems to be true for medicine.  Certain ingredients can offer healing to the body while others damage our organs.  Even in healing our bodies, the corrective medicine can create addiction.  Full details may not been be released to us. The majority of us impact the world by making the best choices to nourish our bodies and respect our communities.  The acts of keeping our selves healthy and treating our neighborhoods with respect, ultimately add to the equation of peace and calm to one and all.  Little positive choices begin the ripple of love to ourselves and out into the greater world.

Chagrined, Repelled, or Offended

Dave Lieberman 

As this  season continues, we find our selves discerning whether or not to express holiday greetings.  We don't want to offend and yet we want to share our good wishes.  Our communities are quite diverse and it is not easy to remember if someone is Jewish, Christian, Non-Christian, Religious or Non-Religious.  We can find ourselves intimidated by co-workers or friends who actually complain about verbal exchanges during the holidays.  

The chart above helped me to decide how to handle the verbal holiday situation.  I am going to express my good wishes as that is how I am.  I will reflect my authenticity.  If the receiver is chagrined, repelled, or offended, then that is truly their problem as it is not my intention.  The recipient who chooses to be appalled, needs to learn how to play nicely with others.  Demonstrate a little self-respect and respect for others.  Present in an honorable way, by just nodding the head or releasing clenched lips into a smile! Thank you!

Without Recognition or Expense

"In the garden of gentle sanity

May you be bombarded by coconuts 

of wakefulness."

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

There is a temptation to withdraw during the holiday season.  Too much traffic, food, and crowds, all altering moods.  Not enough money or too much money become primary issues   The conflict of being authentically human tends to escalate during this time of year.

It does not matter what religion a person is or what God is being worshipped.  The bottom line is our  personal connectedness to the Divine and how we react accordingly.  Instead of being consumed by long lists of gifts,  a present can be given to a member of the human race.  Each day loving kindness can fall from our lips or be given in assistance to those unknown.  We touch the lives of others without recognition and without monetary expense or gain.

In the days ahead, let us try to remember to be angels present upon this earth.  Extend a needed hand, whisper good will, and send loving thoughts to those walking across our paths.  It will cost us nothing, but it will build our sense of connection to each other.  Maybe the season will once again be filled with nothing but love!