Articulating with the Soul

"Writing is a friend whose shoulder we can cry on.  Writing is a confidant who listens and lets us sort things out.  Writing is a comrade, marching with us through the steep days of sorrow and despair.  Writing is our weather and also how we change our weather.  Writing is our landscape and how we view the landscape that we have." 

Julia Cameron
THE RIGHT TO WRITE


Writing is creative and liberating.  It does not matter if we use a computer or a fancy journal.  The intent is to self-express and as the hand moves across the page or the fingers move on the computer keys, our ego is distracted while our emotional make up creates previously undisclosed wisdom upon the page. 

We can sketch or draw on our private spaces and grammar is never circled by a red inked pen.  There is no right or wrong as we have free license to do nothing but experiment and explore.  When all is said and done, the writing can be burned or kept on a shelf to be savored on another day. 

When I do not remain disciplined in my writing, I feel as though my insides get all jammed up.  It doesn't matter if I share my feelings with my friends or mentors or sisters of my heart, I am not complete until my words flow onto the page. 

Just as an athlete refers to the 'zone', I can refer to the flow.  As my hand glides across the page I unknowingly release attitudes and perceptions that are often a surprise to me.  There seems to be a cadence that comes, a rhythm or a flow, where things just stream upon the page and later I will wonder from where they have come.  The written words will resonate, and I know I have been in touch with my soul.  I have communicated with my higher self  for awareness, clarity and courage.  Indeed, Divine Spirit has been articulating with my soul.

Simply a Title in the File

"Each has his past shut in him

like the leaves of a book

known to him by his heart

and his friends can only read the title."

Virginia Wolf

The basic need for a human being is to be listened to and to be heard; and to be embraced and loved.  Each of us desires a sense of home, either a mental or physical place where we can be at rest from the challenges and stresses of our life.  We need a space where we can just 'be' without limitations or judgements.  We need room to breathe.

It is sometimes wise to hold our cards close to our chests, but to build trusted relationships we  need to run the risk of disclosure.  We can choose a therapist, minister, mentor, or a friend who has proven themselves to be trustworthy. 

It is a sad statistic that  documents many people disclose their worst fears or traumatic experiences to total strangers as they hope to never face them again.  This may offer  temporary relief, but it does not guarantee loving kindness as a response.  If the stranger is not compassionate, we run the risk of further rejection and shame.

I am blessed by healthy friendships with some being labeled Sisters of My Heart.  They have repeatedly provided me with a safe place to reflect who I am, who I have been, and who I hope to be.  They have frequently cheered me on, walked with me, and been prepared to carry me as needed.  It is not so much whether or not they understand or agree with me.  The salvation comes from the generous acceptance and unconditional love. 

Each of us are like a book and over the years, our pages get ripped, stained or torn.  Our life lessons tug at our binding and chapters are highlighted or underscored.  Some paragraphs may be blacked out or comments might be scribbled in the side margins.  It is up to each of us as the author of our tales to decide if we want to be an open book or simply a random title in the files.

Traveling with Soul

"We live in succession, in division, in parts, in particles.

Meantime within man is the soul of the whole;

the wise silence;

the universal beauty,

to which every part and particle is equally related:

The Eternal ONE.

Emerson

We cannot escape misfortune, but we can choose  to discern the lesson learned and  beauty never tarnished unless we are looking through faulty perceptions.  When we continuously embrace the positive in our daily lives, we can be more prepared to balance the negative. 

If we journey through life alone, we will still learn, but perhaps we would learn more deeply through exchanges with others along the way.  We see our selves reflected in another, and we need to see our selves as clearly as we can.

The best companion we can have is our soul.  Our soul will guide us, but we must embrace and nourish it through recognition, gratitude, and appreciation.  If we are not in touch with our spirit within, we are not yet ready to fully embrace and accept the world as one. 

If  we do not honor others, the disrespect will return upon the self.  If we honor others, but not our selves, the disrespect will erode our joy.  If we recognize our own soul and the souls of others, indeed our evolution to wholeness will increase. 

When we see Divine Spirit dwelling in the souls of others, we will not lift a hand except in kindness.  When we discover unique gifts and talents in others, we can easily support their endeavors as our personal uniqueness will not be threatened.  Together we can build a foundation, each person contributing and each person receiving.  The foundation will be so solid we will  all be supported in our union with the Divine.


Thoughts inspired by: 
THINGS I WANT MY DAUGHTERS TO KNOW by Alexandra Stoddard





Waiting to be Perceived

 

 

 

 

 

 

 "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit

who reveals himself in the slightest details

we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

 

Albert Einstein

 

 

 

 

This morning I have been looking at everything in the yard, discerning Divine Spirit in each lovely creation in nature:  dancing butterflies, birds of all hues, deeply rooted old trees, blades of grass, flowers thriving, squirrels having anxiety attacks, bunnies nibbling, chipmunks dashing, and bees of course buzzing.

 

As my mind wanders, I recall a scene in a book I was reading last night entitled, THE WITCH DOCTOR'S WIFE by Tamar Myers.  The scene was a cave hidden behind a waterfall where a 7 foot man was hiding in the depth of Africa.  In the present moment, my focus fell upon the waterfall ... hearing the power and strength of the water itself;  seeing blue, white and silver flashes streaming through the water; feeling the mist soak upon my face; and tasting this pure water on my thirsting lips.   On my back I could feel the cold air coming from the cave, and the earth pulsing under my sit bone.  I could hear the sun beckoning me to dry myself on the ledge of the cave, but I remained in the glory of Divine Spirit surrounding me. 

 

Wherever we are in this moment, embrace the Divine Spirit waiting to be noticed in all things.  This Universal Love is present for all of us to experience with our 'frail and feeble mind.'  Even if we are in the midst of poverty or emotional upheaval what small spec is reflecting the light to encourage us and to connect with us.  No matter 'where' we are ... physically, emotionally, or spiritually ...  Divine Spirit is within and surrounding us, waiting to  be perceived.

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flip the Switch!

 

 

 

 

"There is something in us

That has nothing to do with night and day,

Diamonds which come from no earthly mine.

 

Rumi

 

 

 

 

Whether it is through meditation or the practice of yoga, one can restore a gentleness leading to our original state of bliss.  Some find this place of quiet through contemplation or a walk in the woods.    There is an elder restrained to a wheel chair, but she smiles and says she is out in nature every day through the power of visualization.  She states she explores caves, ancient grounds, and old manuscripts upon will.  She floats on waves in the ocean and flies on the wings of great birds. "When we place our intention on where we want to be, our hearts and minds will surely follow," she encourages.

 

Bliss arrives in all shapes and sizes.  For some it may be classical music while for others it may be the smell of paint on an artist's brush.  It may be the velvet touch of a petal falling into a gardener's hand or the site of a bright star gently streaking across the deep black sky.

 

If we dare our hearts to be open, bliss will gently surround us with fragrances, beauty, melody, and the sense of being weightless.  It is not that we do not know how to do this; but rather,  we do not remember to turn off our mind. Flip the switch and return to bliss!

 

 

 

Holding the Answer

 

 

 

 

"My little mind is conflicted about what to do.

And even after I have decided in peace,

my little mind

now is confused about the outcome."

 

Hugh Prather

SPIRITUAL NOTES to MYSELF     

 

 

 

 

If there were one word to describe my childhood, it would be confused.  Nothing appeared to be consistent and what was my truth definitely was not in alignment with the family.  The family seemed to be able to display an image that did not resonate within in me.  Their were so many conflicting scenarios, I began to doubt my own truth.  I was to honor and obey my parents as they were representing God, so Sunday School proclaimed.  If this were true, how could I not accept their word over mine?  Thus, confused. 

 

A few weeks ago, I was grappling with a very important decision.  This decision would impact me greatly, so it had to be well thought out.  My decision once made, would not necessarily be understood by others and knowing I would be going against the status quo, I felt confused.  I felt those old feelings of second guessing my self, my inner wisdom being questioned, even though I knew it was what I wanted. 

 

Then I remembered my confusion had been caused when I was a child, incapable of discerning family dysfunctions.  I now had choice and could trust my choices.  Being open to other suggestions is beneficial, but in the end, I must choose.  I felt great relief upon making my decision.

 

Believing in my abilities, honoring my inner feelings, I announced my final answer to those directly involved.  I felt a personal freedom and an inner power of mastering my life.  This didn't last for long, as worry set in.  What if I was wrong?  I began to worry my new sense of power down to the nubbins.  Once again I found myself to be confused. 

 

My eyes scanned my bookshelves, searching for a book to escape into, to end this ever repeating pattern of childhood insecurity about truth.  Selecting a favorite old friend, I settled in to read.  Amazed, right before me was a story addressing how people  changed their lives simply by taking action.  Choices awaiting us might not be the best, but they are there waiting to pull us out of victim hood.  Making choice is the required action for change.  Ah, validation.

 

As the hours passed, my courage to support my decision returned.  I tried to be gentle accepting that once again I had looked outside of my lovely self rather than trusting my gut.  I was still seeking approval for what was best for me, when I knowingly held the answer in my heart. 

 

Seeking knowledge from others assists us in making our lives run smoothly.  Additional information assists us in deciphering our intentions. The entire time, however, there is a small voice patiently waiting for us to hear and to believe in our own truths. 

 

It takes hard work to excavate old structures, and one must remain constantly aware that we give up too easily. Deep inside under piles of fear and old debris, our authentic voice is waiting to be uncovered.  We have value no matter what the past holds, and we are worthy no matter what we have left undone.  We need to pick up our shovels and begin to dig discovering the inner beauty of our selves. The answers await in your heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 





 

 

Find A Path, Any Path

 

 

 

 

"People take different roads

seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they're not on your road

doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

 

H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

My friend Nancy, (yoga instructor extraordinaire), loaned me a book entitled, FLIPSIDE: A Tourists Guide on How to Navigate the Afterlife, by Richard Martini.  It is an interesting read and he references Michael Newton quite frequently.  Michael Newton is author of JOURNEY OF SOULS and DESTINY OF SOULS, both offering nourishing food for thought.

In addition to ancient and traditional religions, there are many holistic paths to choose from  offering everything from solitary life to international movements.  There are many resources to explore and it would be my hope that all peoples educate themselves and then choose the road they desire to travel.  Get on a path and follow it as a personal quest.  Discover the connectedness between our inner self and the Divine.  Become aware of the light shinning within enabling us to see our gifts and talents.  Understand that we personally impact whoever we come in contact with daily, monthly, or yearly.  Our energy field ripples out into our community whether we go outside or not.  Your actions and energy impact all living things .

The most important aspect is not agreeing, but respecting the beliefs of others.  God loves everything created so who are we to judge?  We have free will and we need to use it.  Divine is in each and every one of us and cheers us all forward.  Certainly the Great Divine Spirit sighs when we fail to reach our best potential, but immediately support offers new opportunities for us to begin again.

VIRGINIA'S VOICE is about Articulating Silence, Exploring Inner Landscapes and Deciphering Dreams with the desire to challenge and support any readers.  If the reader is not in agreement with me, that is good as it indicates the reader is thinking!  If the reader is in agreement with me, that is good that kindred spirits can connect. 

Those who believe differently are still traveling a spiritual path.  We are all headed to the same place, just traveling different routes.  Allow faith to come alive with adventure.  Find a path, any path, and explore. Get on the path to sacred and personal discovery!

Harmonious Efforts

"Father God creates, protects, teaches, and empowers us.  Mother God is the cosmic nurturer: she feeds us, cares for us, and holds us in her arms.  Let's not argue over petty issues.  God is both male and female, Father and Mother.  And so are we.  Beyond our gender, we are all just light. We are one with God, with each other and ourselves."  

Marianne Williamson

A WOMAN'S WORTH


Eastern culture teaches us we individually contain both masculine and feminine aspects.  The masculine is described as being aggressive, assertive, analytical, and reaching out.   The feminine is described as being creative, nurturing, insightful and welcoming.  Each of us hold these qualities and strive to keep them balanced.  Perhaps as a woman, we may be assertive at work, but more reserved in our personal relationships.  As a man, we may approach life analytically, but more creative in hobbies.  Some women are very masculine or extremely feminine while there are men who are very feminine or exceptionally masculine.  The mix is endless.

In early stages of my life, I had the tendency to be more masculine in my approach to life.  I felt the need to be protective, assertive, and reaching out or seeking.  Even though I have always been creative, my masculine traits outweighed my feminine.  In the last few stages of my life, my tendencies have reversed.  I have become introverted, reflective and welcoming to diversity.  I enjoy being more feminine than in the past through clothing or jewelry choices, using a more gentle understanding while being with others or more wildly creative in common day explorations.  I still maintain the ability to flip over to masculine discipline when required.

The key to living a balanced life is to be in touch with how we respond to a given situation.  If we know our honest feelings, we will know how we can best react.  We can switch back and forth between masculine and feminine presentation within years, months, days or minutes.  We are healthier if we can be flexible and not rigid in any one reaction, as life is nothing but change, repeatedly calling for varied responses.  We flow through life more easily when we remain conscious of our choices.

When we are game playing or parroting what we believe other people want to hear, we move further and further out of balance.  We create distance between our heart and mind; devalue our opinions; and weaken the connection with authenticity.  Inch by inch we give our personal power away. 

Life is a process causing us to face challenges regularly as it is the way of the human experience.  If we entertain the possibility that we are all one, we are all God's children, or we are all one light of the Divine, we can embrace personal growth, community development, and world peace in harmonious efforts. 

Deciding to Begin

 

 

"I laugh when I think of how many hours I have spent in my life weaving storylines that never came true until, like weeds, they covered my heart.  It is as if the light, in infinite patience, won't force itself into our hearts.  No, it seems to wait and wait for us to open, content to fill whatever small space we can clear in ourselves." 

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING




Everyone has their own reality, their own interpretation of truth.  When I view my life, my daily existence, and my immediate place in time, I like to remind my self that my view is my story.  Every one of us has our edited story or our personal view. 

If my life story is gnarled with unhappy experiences that have gone unresolved, than chances are very high that I hold the same perception of my current existence and even in my immediate exchanges.  If I had been treated unfairly, then I may perceive my world as being unfair as well as the actions of others.  Our behavioral patterns are deeply ingrained and play out repeatedly, enforcing the original thought pattern.

Therapy, counseling or mentoring can assist us in releasing or healing issues of our past.  The bottom line, however, is loving our beautiful self, and disowning all hurtful judgements of others.  We must believe in our own authentic gifts and talents;  recall our original state of love; and embrace from deep within all parts of our selves.

As we begin to unravel incidents from our past, as though we were weeding a garden, the positive aspects of our nature can stretch and bloom.  Our roots will be healthier as we nurture our self-appraisal with kind words and praise for jobs well done.  The sun can then begin to reach our hearts, warm our souls, and bring awareness of the beauty surrounding us.  It begins with our inner self , only if we are willing. We must decide to begin. 

 

Three Times

"If you truly want to be understood,

you need to say everything  three times,

in three different ways.

Once for each ear ...

and once for the heart.

Paula Underwood Spencer

 

When sharing wisdom or fleeting insight, my long time mentor tells me  "We have the right to speak our truth once.  Then let it go."  If the listener does not absorb what I have said, then it is not their truth or they are not open to the insight.  I have the right to speak my truth, to share what I know, but I honor my self be speaking only once.

It is quite another story, however, when I am speaking to myself.  Initially, I listen to how this information sounds to me.  Does it resonate, stir discomfort in my belly or have no significance whatsoever.  Then I will usually journal this morsel of information to expand upon it, to see how it fits with other ideas or beliefs.  Often times I will forget the snippet of insight, until I am harvesting my journals, reading it once again.  By this time, the third time, the wisdom is either locked in or disregarded.

Information may retain the exact same content and yet we may hear it in different ways at other times.  Much depends upon our frame of mind or our immediate environment.  It makes a difference if we are relaxed with our heart open or stressed already on overload.  So it is beneficial to take our time with information rather than dismissing immediately. 

A sister of my heart will frequently respond with, "I don't know.  I have to sit with this for awhile."  It reminds me of being a young parent of four with demands for immediate answers.  I framed my response to be:  "If you want an answer right this minute, it is no.  If you want to give me a little time to think about it, the answer still may be no, but it could be yes!" 

As I speak these words, I know many will say, "Time?  I don't have time!"  But in honesty, you do have the time, you just choose to not use it to benefit yourself in personal ways.  If a child becomes sick, he or she is whisked away to the doctor.  If mom is sick, she will carry on for days ignoring her health as she has other things to do.  If mom doesn't keep herself healthy, nurtured, and respected, everyone surrounding her will suffer in varying ways.  It is important to remember we are role modeling to others how to care for themselves.  It is false thinking to believe we need to be 'stoic'.

We have the right of choice.  We can choose to change our minds.  We can have a different response the second time we run information through our mind, and reach out by saying, "You no, I declined first time around, but I sure would like to help if it is still needed."  Of course, the opposite is equally true.  Even though we thoughtlessly committed, we can apologize and withdraw. 

Decisions are important, even small ones.  Spontaneity is one thing, but taking time to really touch the heart of the matter works wonders.  It strengthens our decision making, it preserves our integrity, and things just unfold a little  more smoothly. 

 

A Reflection of Integrity



"People don't always mean what they want you to think they mean," his grandfather told him.  "If you listen hard enough, your ears will begin to see things.  And one day you will be able to listen to someone and see their real meaning hidden underneath their words.  And sometimes you will even find those meanings sitting right on top of their words, as bold as ever, because a lot of people won't know that your ears can see the truth."

Sidney Poitier

MONATARO CAINE



It is with great pleasure to read THE MEASURE OF A MAN written by Sidney Poitier.  It is a reflection of his life and everything I had sensed about him seems to be playing out.  I respect him and admire him for his journey has been filled with struggles.  If we are a live, we face struggles, but it is in  how we choose to  handle them that becomes of interest to me.

As a young child, Mr. Poitier learned to read body language as many on the small island either spoke very little or  would not speak at all.  To navigate through his young years, he depended upon his own senses to understand the intentions of others.  He grew up with freedom to explore the sparsely populated island of poverty, and was deeply loved by his family.  Never seeing a mirror or even a store window, he had no idea of what he looked like, so he held a strong image of himself dependent upon his ability to handle life.  His very early years were filled with confidence, acceptance of self and others, and integrity.

I will not focus on the struggles of Mr. Poitier's life as he moved to larger islands and communities.   I will place great emphasis on his belief in himself and his determination to retain integrity.  His early years of development were saturated with a strong sense of self and honoring others.

As his life unfolds, he is offered parts to be played reflecting a lesser man.   As attractive as the offer may have been, Mr. Poitier chooses the roles he plays very carefully.  He will not play the role of someone to be presented as a lesser man.  He desires to project images that are positive and not scenes that were offensive to his character.  He wanted his characters to reflect a sense of morals. 

I find this most interesting, as I have always wondered about the suicides or over-doses of seemingly successful artists who play villains or undesirables.  I have read about actors living in the chosen role prior to rehearsals, and never breaking character in between filming, in the attempt to become most like the character being played.  So if we ingratiate these characteristics, over laying our own, dressing and embodying said personality, is one not in some sense really impacting their own persona?

Sidney Poitier is a human being so of course he has a negative side just like everyone else, but it seems that he has done well in embracing and balancing the good with the bad.  His conduct as a man with integrity has led him to a variety of adventures, nominations, awards and diplomatic representation. 

Simply put, I admire this man and always have.  Ever since high school, I have had the sense that at his core, he was a man of integrity.  He has not had an easy journey, but he has followed his instincts and maintained self-respect in spite of the world surrounding him.

Collective Consensus and Public Investment

"Safety and security don't just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear."

Nelson Mandela

former president of South Africa 

Growing up in a large city, I never really felt scared except for on specific occasions when something criminal triggered my sense of safety.  I walked eight blocks to and from elementary school, I road the city bus, I took the subway downtown, and rode my bike to various parks and even to the lake miles away from home.  While growing up, the theory seemed to be if a child stayed out of the 'bad' neighborhoods, and chose friends carefully, there would be no reason for harm.  Now remember my father was a city detective so I was well aware of the hideous crimes occurring in the city.  Crimes being committed within the homes were never mentioned like domestic violence or child abuse of any kind.

I have always worked with children.  I started out babysitting while still in grade school.  I worked with pre-school and Head Start Programs, Child Care Agencies, and brought four of my own into this world.  The backdrop of a child growing up had changed tremendously.  There were issues of alcohol, drugs, violence and the fracturing of family structures. Even in small communities, fear became much more prevalent. 

The awareness of other countries and instant reporting of nation wide crisis floods our televisions, radios, and newspapers.  The computer allows access to an entire world never before at our finger tips.  It is good that the world grows smaller through education, but the downside is violence is embedded  as well, to say nothing of the easy access to young and old alike.

Just the other day, a mother was pushing a grocery cart with a young toddler in the seat and an older girl standing right next to the mother.  A man approached the cart while the mother was facing the groceries on the shelf.  He swiftly lifted the little one out of the cart and walked away.  The other child was frozen in place.  So it is no wonder  well meaning people approaching little ones in stores or parks receive a startled look of "stranger danger" as it spreads across the face of the child.

There are wonderful young people out there living responsible lives.  Many of them deserve a lot more credit than what they receive.  It is difficult for some elders to see through the tattoos and purple hair or even the style of clothing, but once you see inside of these young ones, there is so much value.   I feel thankful for the next generation, but I do give thought to how they will overcome the challenges in their lives without losing their affection, loyalty, passion, and compassion. 

I am not a doomsday kind of gal, but I won't bury my head in the sand either.  It is vital for us to extend a sense of safety and protection to those around us.  We need to invest our time, our listening skills, and acceptance of diversity for a better tomorrow.

Magical Pockets of Time

“Time can do all sorts of things. It’s almost like a magician. It can turn autumn into spring and babies into children, seeds into flowers and tadpoles into frogs, caterpillars into cocoons, and cocoons into butterflies. And life into death. There’s nothing that time can’t do. Except run backwards. That’s its trouble really, it can only go one way.”

Alex Shearer
THE STOLEN


Our lives begin with passed down lullabies with verses of old.   In the lap of an elder we hear ancient stories beginning with "Once Upon A Time...".   The years follow with "Time to get up sleepyhead," or "Come on now, time for bed!" The days of regulation stream far ahead. 

We observe children playing alone outdoors with great animation caught in some magical illusion ignoring all time and space.  We hear others reporting, "Time just stood still."   In crisis we hear people say, "I just need a minute," knowing full well our  lives will never regain original cadence.

There are pockets in time waiting for us, if we would just be willing to duck out of our restraints.  These pockets are deep and comfortable and need to be visited often.  Children know of the magic held within the pockets of time.   They savor each and every moment, reluctantly returning to the regime of time upon hearing their mother's voice calling, "Come home!"

The expansion and contraction of time is amazing.  When we are engaged in a task we dislike, we seem to be trapped forever; whereas, when we are engaged in something pleasing, the time can pass far too quickly.  When we are mesmerized by the aspects of a new creative adventure, we can forget about time all together, exclaiming, "Where did the time go?"  Passing of Time, In Time, At the End of Time, Another Time, There is No Time, and Being Lost in Time, as you see the phrases are endless.

There are individuals who have a favorite time of day.  For some it is the first breath of the day communing with the Divine while others choose the sun setting, feeling the presence of Allah.  Still others find peace and calm watching the moon gently pass across the sky.  And then there are those who can relax only upon connecting with the mattress of their bed at day's end.   All of these passings can be magical pockets of time.

Although I can be an highly organized individual, I much prefer to be a procrastinator with time.  I enjoy the sense of being boundless by just experiencing the moment.  I resent others who try to dictate my time.  I do my best to carry all of the elements of time within my elaborate pocket.  I want to sprinkle my minutes as I see fit, and savor the ones still lingering in the creases of the fabric lining my pocket.  I will not squander even one wink of time unless I get caught in the twinkling of the Divine.

The Book of Matthew, My Son

“Never judge someone
By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it's covered;
For inside those tattered pages,
There's a lot to be discovered”

Stephen Cosgrove     

My youngest son in many ways is very diverse and yet quite simple.  He has been a point of interest to me since his birth 36 years ago when he began to unfold before my watchful eyes.  He was sweet in nature and tormented by his two older brothers who were several  years apart.  He learned early to blame the older boys for any misfortune from the acts of his own hands, and felt the earth tremble when his sister was born.  

My youngest son was easily found in the garden digging carrots well before breakfast had been served.  He loved to quietly fish and to be outside in the sun.    Even in the winter with darkness closing in, he would be scaling the snow drifts and wandering in the light of the moon.  The security of his life was deeply shaken when his animated uncle passed after a lengthy battle with cancer.  Death was beyond his understanding and he feared being snatched from his own simple life.  He disclosed he was 'beginning to forget the meaning of stars'.

From his paternal grandmother, he learned the love of flowers and to watch most anything grow.  He seemed to have ten green thumbs which enabled life to prolifically grow.  One of his teacher's told me she could only capture his attention after fall until the arrival of spring.  Then he was gone again, his spirit wandering to other places and things.  His favorite teacher built upon his love for the outdoors and gentle nature.  She filled his plate with morsels of history from which he could explore his favorite things.  He loved to carve from old dead trees and deeply revered the living nature of things.

My son did not excel in school nor was he particularly interested in sports although he did his best to participate.  As his personality began to form, it seemed to be characteristic of Native American lore.  He loved to go barefoot and grew his hair long.  He would rarely miss the setting of the sun and even played a drum.  In college he connected with authors who taught him how to live off of the land and he visited caves with his mind speculating and sensing life times long passed.  He was growing into a man who could easily be happy to live off of the land.

He invested time with his brothers and they remained close, but his time with his sister seemed to mean the most.   With her, he would play with dolls, let her paint his nails with polish, and become her not so invisible guardian in later years of school.  He had an innocence about life that frustrated him as his world was far from peaceful and frequently touched by strife.

This son of mine, so very dear, finally fell into a profession following his brother.  He was successful and traveled far away from home, and he began to gently sand off the rough edges allowing himself to find his own home.  Oh how I loved this boy now man.  Financially secure, but losing his gentle spirit to the expected ways of the world, he again returned home and searched for a life that would support his love for the earth and nature.  He finally found his way to balance what was important to his livelihood and gentle nature.

 When his son was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he easily replied, "To be like my dad and help people."  As a father of two, he greatly excels. Besides his accomplishments and leadership at work, he still finds time to garden.  His woodworking on pause will some day return, but he did make the highchair and crib for his children.  His little girl is the beat of his heart.

My son has tattered pages from a life force both strong and mild.  He isn't an easy book to read, but his idiosyncrasies are really quite detailed.  Pages are watermarked, edges are burned, but the book of my Matthew reflects a good man striving for his authentic life.  He is his own person, both light and dark, but I could not possibly love him any more from this place deep in my heart.

The True Home

In the cave of the heart, the true I

Radiates alone with a subtle light:

The one essence shining forth without defect ~

Blissful consciousness of Being.

Oleg Mogilever

(trans Nadhia Sutara)

Inquiry into the "I'

For many years, my focus was on "Who am I?" while discovering what part I was playing in the greater theater of the Universe.  My attempt to identify myself with worldly labels left me empty lacking a sense of passion.  Upon realizing all I was seeking resided within me, satisfied my yearnings and allowed me time to explore my gifts and how I was to use them.

The other day a friend remarked about the difference between helping and serving and it is a point worth sharing.  When you help someone, there is occasion to become an enabler or to become a barrier to a lesson the person needs to experience.  In serving, a person is assisting and empowering the other person.  The individual is led to a higher understanding, actualizing personal growth.  It is no longer about 'me' anymore, but it is about how Divine Spirit can best use me to serve others.

Instead of using my energy to be seeking from outside of myself, I sit filled with bliss just being connected to the radiant inner light of my soul.  This is the true home.  This stillness is the source of comfort and hope.  The whispers of the soul create vivid images of inspiration and flight.  There is no better place to be. 

Quest for Unseen Riches

 Eckhart teaches us that the full scope of life’s richness is ours to enjoy

when we learn to relate to the world from awareness

rather than only through conceptual thought.

Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle encourages us to discover the enjoyment of being and to create  appreciation for the extraordinary in the ordinary.  As we expand our awareness, taking in the larger picture around us, we can zero in on exceptional aspects within our lives.  It is in the slowing down, in taking the time and being observant that we embrace the sense of a full life.  Whether we are exploring the stars at night, a field of wheat or the backs of our hands, we will develop an insight that grows deeper than one would think possible at first glance.

When is the last time we looked at our lovely selves in a mirror?  No, not glancing, but truly pausing to deliberately take the image of ourselves seriously.  When we stand before our most favorite object whether child, framed art or a well manicured lawn, and look with new eyes, new vision, as though for the very first time, we fall in awe all over again.

Our entire lives we are asked what we think.  It is to our advantage when we learn to still the mind and relate to our life through all of the senses and beyond.  We do not have to travel to the moon to make discoveries as we are surrounded by unnoticed magic.

Life is a sacred mystery meant to be deeply experienced and enjoyed.  It is not meant to be difficult and painful all of the time.  We all have our challenges, but they can be balanced by full discovery of the goodness otherwise surrounding us. 

Stop thinking, and observe what the earth is showing to us.  Be silent and hear earth's natural song.  Taste the varying degrees of loveliness in the shade, moon light and water fall.  Feel the moisture in the grass upon bare feet or the veined structure within a leaf gently held between our fingers. 

If we are not successful in our quest for the richness of life, spend some time with a child.  The child has not yet forgotten the bountiful magic surrounding us all.  The young are still in tune with with all things seen and unseen.  Their thinking embraces all possibilities, not yet trained to think small.

Speak Up Buttercup!

 

Anger is almost always a sign, Virginia, that you've been quiet for too long. Speak up, buttercup -      The Universe www.tut.com

   


There are many theories about  behavioral patterns centered around anger.  Anger is an emotion our culture has allowed men to express while teaching women to repress.  The evolution of women, however, has been encouraging all women to use their voice.  The voice can express anger through song, poetry, creative endeavors, and by sharing with mentors or trusted friends.
Anger is an emotion everyone experiences.  It doesn't mean we are right or wrong.  It is an emotion to feel and express.  We find that anger itself is not inappropriate, but the behaviors we choose to display this emotion, must be carefully selected. 

If we ignore our anger, it builds within us.  If we continue to hoard anger it impacts our body, mind, and soul.  Anger can be like poison, eating away at us, devouring our good parts.  We are not anger.  Anger is an emotion we experience as human beings.

If we do not let anger out a little at a time, like releasing air from an inflated balloon, the slightest amount of anger will blow up our stockpile.  We will loose control and act in a way we would never be proud of.  We must learn healthy ways of working with anger.

To be angry, does not necessarily mean loud voices and ultimatums.  Sometimes a quiet soft voice expressing how you feel, without accusing or shaming an other, can be quite powerful.  We have the right to say what we think, even if we are wrong. 

When we use our voice speaking from deep within our heart, Divine Spirit assists us in maintaining our focus to be able to present in a positive way.  If we are deeply angry, writing out our words, expressing them non-stop on paper, can harm no one.  Burn the paper when we feel completely empty of this emotion.

Sometimes we do not express our emotions for fear of hurting someone else's feelings, never realizing we are hurting our selves more by not speaking out.  Speaking our truth in an honest, non-confrontational way, can bring us joy and a sense of personal power.   We speak our truth for sharing regardless of what others may think or feel.  We have the right
to use our voice and once we extract our anger, our words become a symphony. 

Moving Forward

"He could hear human hearts breaking.  Tonight, he could hear soundless screams of a nameless brigade trying to find its way out of a concrete jungle of unrealized dreams."

Sidney Poitier

MONTARO CAINE



When in high school, I viewed the movie, LILIES OF THE FIELD, and I experienced  great admiration for Sidney Poitier.  Somewhere in there was another movie entitled, A PATCH OF BLUE, followed by TO SIR, WITH LOVE; IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT;  and GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER.  Sidney Poitier is a well established actor,  film director, author and diplomat.  He is a spiritual man I greatly admire.

I have just read Mr. Poitier's novel, MONTARO CAINE.  The story itself was not what held my attention, but rather the depth of meaning behind the story.  The characters from the beginning moved with a momentum leading to qualities that today's world needs to adhere to.  The quality of his writing had a simple richness to it with the his ability to utilize well chosen words.   

In this time in our world, right now, we are all being called to goodness, to stand up for what is right for all peoples.  We are being nudged to realize we are temporary visitors of our planet and we are being unacceptable guests.  We are individually being called to know our heart, to share in the care of the earth, and to speak our truths.  When we trust and embrace kindness, the Universe provides.

If we truly listen to the nightmares, the doubts, the shaming and guilt residing within, we can experience self-forgiveness and personal healing.  When we throw off the misguided choices of our past, there is new room cleanly created to rekindle our passion and discover new beginnings of hope.

Words of surrender and submission  go against my grain, but I feel ascended by the thought of embracing Divine Spirit surrounding me in all things.  I have faith to step through the fear of darkness and onto the path of light where we can all move forward together.

Feeding Each Other

"It's how we grow and heal, again and again, by holding and being held.

In my own life, I have been held and dropped, have hurt and soothed others,

enough to accept, at last, that the reasons of the heart are leaves in wind.

Stand up tall and everything will nest in you."

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

We unknowingly bring balance to each other while interact with each other.  On days we are not feeling necessarily kind, someone will display kindness towards us, lifting our personal attitude to a higher level.  We may be in a bad mood but upon running into friends and having heartfelt conversation, we easily forget our troubles and become elevated to a higher place in our thinking.  It happens all of the time.  Seldom are we down in the dumps at the same time our partner or best friend might be.  We take turns holding and being held.  This is why we have arms, to give and to receive. 

There is an old story about a man who had just witnessed a near death experience.  He said his guide asked him if he wanted to see what hell was like, and he agreed.  Together they walked into a great room and the moaning was so atrocious the visitor cupped his hands over his ears to block out the horror of the sound.   He looked around the room which was lined with tables filled with fruits, vegetables, flavorful drinks, and anything and everything the heart could possibly desire.  He forced himself to look at the groaning people, who were emaciated in spite of all of the food.  The visiting man realized the arms of these people were extremely long and stiff, and there was no way they could bend them to feed themselves.  They were definitely in the pain of hell.

His guide next asked if he would like to view heaven, and, yes, of course he would.  Together they stepped into a room filled with people laughing and hugging.  He noticed the room was lined with food exactly like hell's.  The arms of these people in heaven were built exactly like those in hell, having long and unbend able arms.  It did not take him long to realize the difference.  Those enjoying heaven were not able to feed themselves either, but they had learned to joyfully feed each other.

Let us strive to make a nest of our heart, where others are welcomed and are nurtured in their time of need.  We can stand tall as the trees letting others gently float like leaves to receive what we have to share.  And when the wind blows and our branches lean, we too will find a nest where we will be welcomed and fed. 

The Rambling Train of Continuity

I don't ever remember them telling us or teaching us that the only way we could be more successful is if other people were less successful. They never inculcated the belief that somehow, in order for us to climb the ladder, other people have to come down from the ladder.

 

Marco Rubio

The Proverbial Ladder of Success has always been interesting  in terms of watching from a distance.  Some people scamper right up the ladder to the top, knocking others off along the way, while others cling to one rung until forced to reach for the next.  It is an easy observation that no one really stays at the top of this ladder indefinitely.  There are plenty of others following behind the person at the top and they seem to be eager to bump the risen from the highest perch.

Whether author, politician, clergy, or medical, the person clamoring to the top experiences a very short rush with success, before being knocked off from the top.  It isn't a very graceful fall back to the bottom.  This ladder is a structure of competition breeding deceptions with the best man not always succeeding.

Not liking this concept of the ladder of success, envision a rambling train of continuity.  We are all aboard this train and we visit different cars.  As equals, we move from one  train car to another, sometimes enjoying the power of being in the engine while during other moments casually taking in the view of the caboose.  One train car is not better than the other, simply different, offering various samples of life.  We are neither higher nor lower.  There is equality on the train.

When we ride the train we encourage others to follow their heart's desire exploring many levels of life honestly and openly.  As equal passengers we realize we have a choice of how and where we want to succeed.  The push to the top is non-existent, as riding in each car of the train fills us with a sense of accomplishment.  There is time to share  compassion and to embrace the loveliness of each other.  Together we form a complete vessel moving forward.

The fall from the top of the ladder is never graceful.  It is impacted by shame, guilt, and often times stories of dishonesty lacking any resemblance to truth.  The person falling becomes judged and ridiculed perhaps never again to show their face.

The atmosphere on the rambling train is one of affirmative movement, visiting a train compartment up ahead or retracing steps back to an earlier authentic experience.  The people riding the train ultimately learn balance and harmony.  There are sleeping compartments, club cars, and sometimes a higher glass dome for those wanting a higher view. 

Get off the ladder and come aboard!  The journey through life is much safer and more scenic than clinging to the rungs of a ladder.  Besides, it is always fun to see who will get to blow the train whistle, especially when zipping through a long tunnel.

The Act of Grounding

"Accidents are the body's mechanism

for getting our attention.

Whether it is a car accident, sports injury,

or we trip headlong into a wall,

it is an indication that we are not really in our bodies,

that something has taken our focus away.

Accidents slam us back into reality, sometimes literally.

It's the way our bodies and the universe say,

"Hey, pay attention! You're important!"

Deborah King

TRUTH HEALS

Accidents of any kind are a sign that we are not paying attention.  Maybe we are day dreaming, struggling with emotion, or simply tired, but we are not focused.  We are going too fast and need to be slowed down, or we are to distracted and need to be alert.  We are not in the present moment navigating the life present before us.  

The word 'grounding' used here is a term referring to connecting with the earth, feeling its energy, while pulling down energy from the Divine.  By balancing these energies in our bodies, we feel connected to all things.  Some people feel calm or peace while others experience Divine presence.  No matter what we experience through grounding, there is a means of feeling whole. 

There are many other forms of 'grounding':  some people stand on the ground barefooted;  others stand in a shower letting water comfort and cleanse; and  there are those who meditate or pray.  The form a person uses is not as important as actually taking a few minutes to ground ourselves.

So this is fine for in the morning, but what about in the midst of a crazy day?  Even if we are stalled at a stop light, we can momentarily close our eyes and visualize the act of grounding in our minds, seeing it like a photo or video.  This of course is a short version, a blink of an eye thing, but the results can be just as powerful. 

It is good to ground our selves any time, but bedtime is important as grounding energetically pulls us back together, releasing fear or apprehension.  If we crawl into bed and realize too late that we have forgotten to ground our selves, no problem.  In bed, we can ground our selves through visualization from head to toe, toe to head, until we feel relaxed and ready for a good night's sleep. 

When we are grounded in our bodies, we are far more alert and less likely to misunderstand conversations, get stuck in emotion, or be distracted from the beauty of the life surrounding us.  Grounding can take as long or as short as time allows.  Just make the gesture and notice how much more present we are in our day!

Making Connections

"For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport:  a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

Deborah Tannen


The most important conversation we will ever need to have is with our selves.  If it is honest communication, we will make the important connections in our lives avoiding limitations, barriers, and diversions.  This conversation can be made through contemplation, meditation, and most importantly through the writing of our own hand.

There is something to be said for putting pencil to paper, ignoring grammar, and just allowing words to flow.  We can be amazed at the information we receive that would be otherwise hidden or buried beneath years of experiences. 

In Julia Cameron's book, THE RIGHT TO WRITE she discusses working with a man for four years.  She found him to be distant and unapproachable.  She felt it must have been his up bringing and left it at that.  Then one day in particular, she was tired  of the lack of connection between them as it stunted her creative expression.  She went home and immediately started dumping out all of her feelings onto paper.  As she expressed her feelings, she was surprised when she wrote down this man reminded her of her snow white Arabian horse.  As she drew comparisons between the attitude of the horse and the attitude of her co-worker, she realized they both played a game of control.  "The inevitable dynamic here," Julia wrote, "is about power ~~~
power manifested and maintained through withholding."  She realized that she would never be creative in an atmosphere of hide and seek with power, so she quit her job.

The important thing here is through writing, Julia Cameron was able to make a connection she might not have made otherwise.  It is through our written word we become intimately connected with our hurt feelings, wounds, and pain.  We find the triggers that set us off and make the connection of why it happens.  We find our selves connecting our present with buried incidents in our past.  Understanding our selves does not always mean taking action such as resigning from a position.  It does allow a direct connection to what is happening between our body, mind, and spirit.  Writing allows us to keep our experiences private, to recall unhappy occasions without having to experience personal shame in front of others, and to be able to control just how long we want to spend on the subject.  When we feel we have reached an understanding, we can tear the paper up or burn it, never to be shared if so chosen.

There are some of us who do not have confidants or people we feel safe exploring our personal lives.  Sometimes we just need to hear our selves think without causing consequences.  Writing is a perfect tool to connect self with self.  We can sincerely listen to what we say and then read what is written.  There are times when what we have written does not match what we were thinking.  In exploring our inner thoughts through the safe practice of writing, we can feel our selves shifting.  Either we are moving closer to a decision or we are understanding the underlying problem. 

Here is a challenge for making connections.  Just for this week, keep a journal randomly writing down whatever comes to mind.  Be consistent and honest.  At the end of the week, find a quiet space and read each page of the  journal from beginning to end.  Notice what we have left out or what we included not knowing it had been bothering us.  As we read through the pages, we can discover a theme displayed in different scenarios.  There is so much to learn from our very selves if we just by making connections!