The Longest Distance

The Longest Distance in the World Is From the Head to the Heart.

Michael J. Formica

Enlightened Living 

As human beings, we can have very analytical minds and very huge hearts, but the distance between can be well into infinity.  Somewhere in the process of development, the feelings of the heart were deemed as being weaker (and more associated with the female population) while mental capabilities were sighted as being stronger (and more associated with the male population).  As with many other things, both abilities when in balance create a wonderful human being.

There is a saying about going with our  'gut' feelings before they reach our head and we talk ourselves out of them.  Some decisions are made with the heart whereas some are made with the head, but perhaps the best is the decision tempered by both knowledge and heart.  Some will even equate mental equations with business and impact from the heart as creative, still that strength verses soft.    I personally believe that it takes great strength to be creative and analytical processing can be too extreme without compassion from the heart.  Too much analytical strength can squelch most anything or anyone instead of teaching and encouraging.  Too much creativity without the support of analytical support can aimlessly float away.

When we base our decisions with the consideration of both the head and the heart, we are fully living a compassionate life.  We don't have to actually change a well thought out decision, but we may be better off presenting our decisions from the heart.  The head and the heart are powerful contributors for guidance.  We may 'think' we need to take the job with more money, but our 'heart' may be yearning for the more diversity in the lesser paying job.  If there is a meeting between the mind and the heart, a better serving decision can be made.

There is quite a distance between the heart and the head.  The distance is filled with a lot of 'shoulds', self-imposed expectations, or career driven goals based on childhood or family directives.  There may be miles of debris between these two points, but if we persevere and navigate through these obstacles, we can finally know what are mind and heart can create together. 

If we entwine our hearts desire with our analytical perspectives we can create opportunities to fulfill our life purpose.  We don't have to live in isolation like monks, or travel to foreign countries as missionaries or be the poorest family on the block.  If we generate an excellent income, we have the choice to share our wealth with others in need. 

Humility is not to be confused with poverty any more than aid is directly exclusive to foreign countries.  I am aware of a large family who jointly agreed to eat simple meals all week without eating in restaurants or carry out foods, to save money for one week.  At the end of the week they pooled their monies from the grocery store budget, pockets, and spare change.  Then they anonymously donated it to a local family in need. 

If we get out of our own way, we can find a shortcut directly from our heart to our brain.  We can creatively and thoughtfully provide help for others as well as for ourselves.  If our personal finances are tight, we can offer our time even if it is just an hour per week.  We can help shoulder the burdens of life as a community of acceptance and compassion.  We can design our lives with heartfelt energy and creative dimensions to finally close the distance between the heart and the head.

As in the Mind, So it is in the Body

.

In order to create health daily, long before illness ensues we need to pay attention to the subtle signals from our bodies about what feels good and what doesn’t. Foggy thinking, dizziness, heart palpitations, acne, headaches, and back, stomach, and pelvic pain are a few of the common but subtle symptoms that often signal that it is time for us to let go of what we don’t want in life and start using our own power to improve things.

Christiane Northrup

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom 

This morning, I was reading a long time favorite author, Christiane Northrup.  She is a medical doctor who is very progressive in her approach to women and their health.  She has authored several books, and recently did an interview with Joan Borysenko, another admired doctor and author.  I find it comforting to read and hear these women discuss health issues, updating approaches to our health that have nothing to do with medicine itself, but the power our body holds and what we can do with it.

As women, we can realize when things are going right or wrong by our 'gut' or intuitive responses.  We all have them, but we don't always listen to them or follow up with appropriate action.  When we are feeling impacted by negativity, it is a clear sign that we are not taking the right approach or we are not headed in the correct direction or we are overlooking key signals.  Upon ignoring such promptings, we then develop a headache or nausea or anxiety.  These symptoms will fade away if we take a moment to pay attention to what are body is trying to tell us.

To keep our energy flowing, we must be paying attention to recognize the alert from our body.  When we are aware of a negative emotion, and accept it, we try to understand what is going on within us that caused this.  We try to identify what happened to cause our energy to stop freely flowing.  Is the situation coming up in our mind welcomed or is it something we want to get out of?  It is important to declare to ourselves what it is we truly want, honestly.  In this way we are making our desires very clear.  When our intentions are perfectly clear we feel more powerful and our creative energy moves back into a balanced flow.  We can acknowledge we do have power and we do have the right to choice.  The situation is always enhanced by feeling Divine Spirit supporting us in a positive direction.

The universal law of attraction allows us to attract people or situations to reflect our own thoughts and belief system.  If we are connected to a positive energy flow, we will attract positive people and pleasant learning experiences.  If we are being negative, negativity will be reflected back to us by those who surround us. 

When we embrace a higher being, and love ourselves, we will find a loving community.  We will attract like minded people and discover creative options as to how we can live our lives.  Our bodies will be healthier and our spirits will soar!

To Keep The Mind and Heart Integrated



"When the Mind and the Heart are congruent with each other, living in this sense of integration is actually very easy to do. This does not mean that there are no challenges; it simply means that the suffering is optional."               

 ~ Dr. Michael Lennox

My dear friend Nancy was filling my head this morning with all sorts of inspiring articles.  I am always amazed at how much information she has at her fingertips.  She is very knowledgeable about random websites with incredible information.  ( NanYoga-AlongthePath@blogspot.com)  So instead of being bogged down by this rainy morning, I feel very integrated and safe to be me.

 

Life is filled with challenges.  Some we eagerly embrace and succeed while others may bring us to our knees.  What is an issue for one person may not be for the next.  Change and conflict are entwined throughout our days and many dark nights, all of which are unavoidable.  We cannot eliminate the challenges in our life, but we can control the emotions we invest into any situation. 

 

Eckhart Tolle has written and lectured numerous times about controlling the pain created by our emotions.  This is based on our ability to embrace our challenge without becoming stuck in heavy emotions.  He encourages to keep our eyes on the task and move through the fear without taking on unnecessary pain.  We get to choose how long and how deeply we want to continue suffering. 

 

This is not to say that we can avoid pain completely, but it does say that we can minimize the depth of a situation by our emotional response.  When we honestly address our emotions they do not become repressed or deeply complex.  We will feel pain and sorrow, rejuvenating our spirits at our own time and place, but we will not become overwhelmed and reside in our sorrow.

 

If a friend hurts my feelings, I can respond to myself by thinking, "Wow.  They must be having a really bad day," or "She was really rude to me and I am not going to talk to her."  By personalizing the situation, by taking on responsibility for my friend, I get enmeshed in additional emotion.  I may even choose to gossip and tell another friend about what happened, making things even more complex.  In our minds, a small incident can become totally out of proportion.  So if I originally just gave my friend the benefit of the doubt that she was having a bad day, I could move forward easily without wasting my energy flopping around in self-pity. 

 

I realize the example above is not critical, but it is nevertheless an example of two ways of reacting to any given situation.  Another option would have been to stop our friend and say,

"Hey, you just really hurt my feelings."  This is a means of clearing up the situation immediately.  Generally, we will find that our friend misspoke and had no intention of hurting our feelings.

 

There are life challenges more severe like hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, and illness.  These things cannot so easily be dealt with, but we still have the choice of where we want to put our focus.  We can mourn our loss, but we still choose a response.  We can choose to fall into fear paralysed or we can begin to make a positive plan out of what little we may have remaining.  Our personal energy is a force and is best used when maintained in one healthy direction rather than fragmented into emotional concerns. 

 

Although I have not mastered this entirely,  I do have numerous opportunities to keep my heart and mind integrated in an attempt to move through bumps along the way.  I don't always immediately remember to keep my self congruent, but I am getting better at catching my emotional behavior before it wanders into the depths of depression or fear. 

 

The best setting for me is reflected in the picture above.  I don't want to travel on a super highway,  I want to stay in the middle of the less traveled road.  I want to have nature on either side of me with the beautiful heavens above.  I desire to hear birds singing and follow my path until I come to a stream with rocks to sit upon.  As night falls, I will place a full moon in the sky and sprinkle tiny stars for all to see.   There will be a circle of fire gathering sisters and friends,

a safe place for stories and me.

 

 

 

 

Under Construction

Today, I salute myself as a work in progress,

recognizing both the long road traveled

and the road still ahead.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS 

Life can be so conflicted, moving in and out of positive and negative cycles.  One day we may feel indestructible and all knowing.   Within days or even over night we may feel as though we have been depleted with nothing to offer anyone.   On one occasion we may feel beautiful and radiant followed by several occasions where we feel fat and ugly.  The under current of life can churn our emotions into thick and heavy thoughts distorting our view or it can float us merrily down a stream.  Our life suits, indeed, must be designed accordingly. 

Planning ahead does not support us in life as much as our ability to be in the moment, to be present to others, and to be able to go where we are called.  We can have the best intentions, but life often times pulls us into opposite directions, onto other paths, and into unexpected arenas.  If we can truly accept our gifts and talents and remain in physical and spiritual alignment, we can gracefully face any day or any situation. 

There was a summer I went on a sabbatical.  I sat on my front porch reading, napping, and writing.  One night I sat in the porch swing and watched the full moon travel across the star filled sky.  Yes, it took hours.  I felt a total sense of completion and contentment. 

The next day I had lunch with friends.  They intentionally questioned me about what I was doing and what I had accomplished.  As they drilled me with questions, I anxiously realized I could not account for my time.  There was nothing I could produce or label as proof that I had  kept myself profitably busy.    My self-esteem quickly liquidated and slid away.  I truly felt unworthy having nothing physical to show for my time well spent.

When I returned home, I settled into the front porch swing.  I pulled out my journal and not only read but listened with my heart to my words.  I felt myself filling back up with peace and calm.  I was expanding in ways that could not be expressed in dollars and cents nor degrees and certificates.  I was mentally following a spiritual path, leading me to self-discovery and to my authentic self.

From that point forward, whenever someone asked me what I had been doing, I simply told them, "I am under construction!"  I wouldn't necessarily bother to try to explain, as I felt confident with my reply.  I was proud of my new additions and deep inside knew rejuvenating my inner dwelling was going to take quite some time.

You Can't Hide ...

“One thing you can't hide -

is when you're crippled inside.”

                                                                    John Lennon



We have a tendency to hide when things go wrong.   A coping skill is to withdraw, to hide until we can be better balanced.  We can wear masks and even costumes to distract those surrounding us, as we fear the real 'self' might be discovered. 

Sometimes we think we are masters of disguise when in reality, the people we have chosen to surround us may not really care.  They may notice we are somewhat altered, but if they indeed are not kindred spirits, they may ignore us anyway.  Most the time when we think we are playing our best performance, people who truly care see right through it.

We must choose our friends wisely, finding a balance and harmony.  When we depart from a friend we are thankful for the time just shared.  We do not feel drained or depleted.  We know our friend will openly listen to us without overreacting or passing the information on to others. 

We feel better about our selves when we realize everyone has something they feel they need to hide.  We all have negative factors we need to overcome or improve upon.  There are times when we feel a part of our self is ugly or distorted, but it may be a total illusion of our own personal judgment.  We learn to embrace other peoples imperfection, faster than our own.  

When some of us were children, we were told we were sinners and would always be sinners ... quite a burden for a child to carry.  So years of learning need to unfold to alleviate false impressions of shame or guilt.  In order to be whole, we must not hide.

We are all just a bunch of frogs

wanting to be loved

warts and all!

Edge of the World

I think that half of us feel fraudulant in our lives anyway.  There's that strange connection of not really knowing what we're doing sometimes, or why it matters.  It's our existential crisis.

Carrie Brownstein  

A few days ago, I purchased a note card from  Tree of Life Artworks.  These artists primarily use scrimshaw as their medium, and I have several pieces of their artistic work.  I came across their first attempt at note cards.  There were four patterns, but I was immediately drawn to a card with a tree, the moon and stars.  I was not certain as to why it jumped out at me, but the inscription at the bottom read:  "Somewhere near the edge of the world, Trees drip with stars." 

In contemplation, I brought the image of the note card to the front of my mind.  There were numerous thick and distorted roots reaching into rich black soil.  As I imagined them moving down into the earth, my understanding expanded.  Human beings need a root system, not just one root designated for faith.  Self-esteem and worthiness also form strength to keep us upright and strong.  Friends, teachers and mentors become part of our healthy roots as well.  Exercise and appropriate eating establish additional roots.  Multiple roots spiraling into Mother Earth are conduits for energy, both giving and receiving. 

Mentally focusing on the note card once again, my vision moved up the tree.  I examined the gnarly bark, the loss of limbs, and even some decay.  The root system was so vibrant, however, I could see the energy floating in  the tree.  The tree displayed the twists and turns of many life times, enduring unexpected changes.  There is a need to be aware of issues, but not to use energy in personalizing them.  Use energy to resolve them, no matter where they originated or in which life time. 

Breathing deeply, my eyes followed the tree limbs reaching up towards the sky.  The tips of the branches were extending themselves pulling energy from the heavens.  The energy sped down the trunk of the tree and became enmeshed with the energy coming up  from the earth, bringing balance and harmony.  I clearly embraced the strength of this tree as it was a vessel between the earth and the sky.  If I am deeply rooted into Mother Nature and if I reach up into the wisdom floating in the clouds, how tall I will stand in this energy flow.

In the background is the moon giving great meaning to me.  It has been a listening companion for me throughout the years.  I find the presence of the moon to be calming, and it initiates hope, acceptance, and inspiration.  It also offers the Lunar Cycle still observed by many to this day.

At last glance, I view the trees dripping with stars.  Stars remind me of the magic in life we seem to overlook as we grow older.   When we are in balance with what is above and that which is below, we are strong  enough to open our senses to the magic in life.  We once again become vulnerable and creative to wish upon a star.   

All I am and all I am meant to be has been reflected in this contemplation.  I have visited my most favorite things:  the tree, the moon, and the stars  ...  somewhere near the edge of the world.

Best Friend

“I want to love you without clutching,

appreciate you without judging,

join you without invading,

 invite you without demanding,

leave you without guilt,

criticize you without blaming,

and help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you,

then we can truly meet and enrich each other.”

Virginia Satir 

Relationships are sometimes considered to be the most challenging lessons in life, and also the most rewarding.  We learn through our relationships and all such unions require attention, respect, and honesty.  For whatever reason, we expect partnerships to be easy.  So easy we are tempted to veer from appreciation and gratitude for the gift it brings.

While attending a workshop, the audience was asked to list all of the good qualities a friend needed to have in order to be a favorite.  I remember having no trouble whatsoever with this list.  Qualities and characteristics flew out of my brain and straight out of my pen.  The list grew longer and longer as I wrote just as fast I could.  "Time is up," the instructor announced.  I gazed through my mighty list, proud of my expectations.

The instructor then asked us to neatly fold the paper, and so we did.  Then she told us to hand deliver this masterpiece to our very selves, taking note of our reaction.  I unfolded my paper and immediately thought, "No way," as I pondered the lengthy list.  I was overwhelmed by my righteous expectations.  I then began to consider what I would be willing to give in return.  This too surprised me as my reaction was quite miserly. 

Our matches may have been made in heaven, but I wonder if we were programed with additional resilience, determination, and endless patience.  I would guess not.  No matter how good a relationship may be, there is always room for improvement.  The bottom line, I believe,  is the ability and the degree to which a person can trust. 

Loving a person isn't enough unless we are able to do all of what Virginia Satir suggests.  We will easily become undermined if we love, but do not experience a balance of give and take.  Once resentment grows and we do not use our voice, our feelings are repressed coiling into anger.  If we do not face our anxiety our dreams can turn into nightmares.  Unfortunately, what we repress is not forgotten by the body.  The emotions we hold inside begin to cause our body to be 'dis-eased'.  When we are struggling both mentally and physically, our spirit easily becomes broken.

The most important relationship is the one we have with our very own selves.  So when we read once again the above writing of Virginia Satir and apply it to the relationship we have with our self, how do we fare?  Do we honor our selves as respectfully as we honor others?  Will our personal actions enhance us or harm us?  We must be our own best friend.

Somewhere In The Stars

"There was a star riding through clouds one night,

and I said to the star,

'Consume me'."

Virginia Woolf

                                                                       THE WAVE   

The very first object of wonderment we may experience as a child is a star in the sky.  An awareness of a star is reinforced by the nursery rhyme "Star Light, Star Bright, First Star I see tonight" or the song, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."   We can probably remember staring at the dark night sky making a wish upon a star, throughout all stages of life.

A dark cloudless night emphasizes the twinkle in a star and shows how each one is dancing to its own rhythm.  Although stars mesmerized me throughout my childhood and teen years, I did not see a falling star until I was a senior in high school.  I was spell bound by the sight of light free falling to the earth.  My feet were firmly planted on the earth, my heart beat was racing, and in awe, I was speechless.  I captured this magic moment in my mind never to be forgotten.

Stars were always symbols to me, but I am not so certain why they were so alluring.  They seemed to be waiting for me as a connection to the  the heavens above.  Some people found an unearthly connection with angels, but for me, it was always the stars.

When my youngest son was healing from the death of his favorite uncle, I found him awake in his bed staring out at the stars.  I snuggled under the covers with him, sliding my arm around his shoulders and pulled him towards me.  We just sat together staring out the window without a word, just the comfort of silence.  Then right before I untangled my self from him, he mumbled in a sleepy voice, "Mom, I know the stars have meaning for me and the meaning  is important, but I am afraid I am starting to forget."  I have always wondered if the stars didn't have special meaning, but as many things fade in time, I believe we simply forget the magic always present in our world.

There is much to be read about the possibilities of the stars above.  Some say they are a portal to other worlds and other beings having energy of their own.  I must admit I have given deep thought to the existence of our brightly shining lights above. 

One night I found myself outside in the country, looking up at the stars and singling one out in particular.  I remember thinking, "If I could beam myself up to you right now, I could stay for a long time and when I returned to earth, my absence would have been just a blink of an eye."  I continued to stare at this singled out star, wishing to somehow beam my self up, when the star suddenly began to fall from the sky directly towards me.  I stood frozen in place watching the star spiral to the ground in a great flash.  I knew it would not hit me and I was not afraid even though I seemed to be directly in its path.  When it grew closer to the ground, I ran into the house and out the opposite door in time to watch it pass over my head and hit the earth several miles away.

Stars continue to ignite my imagination and I meditate with them more, not less.  Like others who have traveled to this earth, I have forgotten the star's original meaning, but it remains an unknown symbol to me.  I find it easy to commune with these sparklers in the sky, and as a star child, I know some day I will return to my home somewhere in the stars.

Holding a Grudge

"Perception is created and twisted

so quickly."

Louis C. K. 

 

 

My father's parents individually came to America from Sweden.  They met in Springfield, Illinois, and later moved to Chicago, Illinois, to marry and raise a family.  My father resided in Chicago for most of his life.  When my paternal grandparents passed, we found in their basement a very old upright piano made out of mahogany wood.  With a little 'spit and polish' it shined into a beautiful keep sake.  My older sister began piano lessons in her early grade school years, continuing well into high school.  Many years later, when my daughter was in second grade, we brought the old antique piano to our home.  She began lessons immediately and played well into high school. 

It was no surprise when numerous years passed,  my granddaughter then kindergarten age, took special interest in playing the piano.  She loved my daughter and watched her play the piano numerous times. One day, my granddaughter opened the piano bench and rifled through the sheet music as though she were searching for a particular piece.  She finally withdrew one, and gently placed it right where it belonged and lovingly opened the sheets.  She delicately placed her fingers upon the piano keys and began to play, turning pages as she went.  This beautiful child had never had any lessons and when she played it was very obvious she had not had any instruction whatsoever.

In spite of her inability to play, she never hammered upon the keys or disrespected the piano in any way.  She would routinely choose her music from the bench, and then spend indefinite time gently playing random keys and timely turning pages.  The family quickly learned the child would be offended if we laughed or teased, so she was always left to her odyssey.   She continued doing this for years.

When my daughter married, she requested to have the piano in her home.  I knew it would always go to her, but how would I explain the removal to my granddaughter?  It had to be done.  So the next time my granddaughter visited, I explained to her the piano was going to go to its rightful owner, my daughter. 

Shock registered on her face as she sat on the piano bench absorbing this devastating news.  I watched her desperately searching for a response.  Finally she turned her big blue eyes towards me and asked, "Ummmm, could we just give her the bench?"

My granddaughter is many years wiser now and she would be horribly embarrassed by being named in this story; however, it is one of my favorites.   My daughter still plays the old piano and I do believe my granddaughter still holds a grudge!

Setting Intentions

Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.

Isolation is what you crave when

you neglect the first.

Wayne Cordeiro

Leading on Empty

In mid December, I was mildly aware of a need to withdraw.  Considering my self to be an extroverted/hermit, I was not necessarily concerned.  My desire to be alone continued to grow well into the next year.  I continued to feel a deep need to be isolated.  The thought of being alone truly resonated with me, and yet a part of me questioned why I was having this behavior.  My concern about what I was deliberately doing grew, but I honored my decision to remain in isolation.

I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, and maintained my writing and reading, otherwise isolated.  Then one day some words jumped off the page as I quietly read:  "Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.  Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first."  These words by Wayne Cordeiro struck a nerve deep down within me.

As I looked back through my journal, I found my original longing for a deeper soul connection.  Instead of seeking solitude to soul search, I chose isolation which I seemed to crave.   Even though my sense of connection stretched quite thin, I remained rigid in pursuit of what I thought I needed. 

While in isolation, I was not feeding my soul.  I was not shoring my self up, but rather disintegrating.  Although well intended, my actions took me in the opposite direction from where I originally wanted to be.  Isolation felt  cold and lonely,  with waves of separation.  Instead of growing closer to all that is, I was falling down the rabbit hole.

Solitude really is different from isolation.  Isolation is being cut off from everything as all healthy systems shut down.  Solitude is deliberately selected with the purpose of opening up to learn more.  Listen to both of these words ... isolation and solitude ... as even their pronunciations indicate the cold in one and  comfort in the other.

Once I realized the error with my intention, I quickly set out to revamp my actions.  I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, maintaining my reading and writing while carving out time for solitude.  Within this solitude, I opened my heart with the intention to deeply grow. 

Leaving isolation behind, I reached out to sisters of my heart for  insight to later be explored during my solitude.  Being still by my self during this designated time generated inspiration and understanding.  In this time of solitude, I was able to stretch and grow ... my original yearning.

We must be careful when setting intentions as the Universe truly desires to meet our requests.  I had set my sails for isolation and that is exactly what I had received.  Even while I had been sensing I was not entirely on target, I had kept my sails billowing in the wind.  I had remained determined and rigid.   Had I simply allowed my intention to bend, I could have gone with the flow instead of against it.

In solitude, I  now sit amongst the stars and nap by the sun, while refining my soul.  Another lesson learned ... at least this time around!

Crossing Bridges

"After having been applauded

for busy-ness and productivity,

there is guilt about stillness."

Gay Luce 

 We cross many bridges during our lives (from child to adult, student to teacher, single to wife, wife to mother, mother to grandmother, novice to master, business to retirement) as we transition from one phase to another.  Some do cross gracefully whereas others may go kicking and screaming.   It would be accurate to say whether we welcome crossing the bridge or not, and adjustment is always a part of the transition. 

As in many situations, a forthcoming transition can create anxiety.  Even though we may be eager to move forward the transition is taking us out of our comfort zone into the unknown.  We may grow concerned of losing power or position in the world.  We may no longer be recognized by a certain label we have been displaying for years.  Especially when the work role is removed, we grow concerned about usefulness.

Many of us have been trained to see our selves as what we do for a living, and when we disengage we have a sense of uselessness.  In retirement, many will throw themselves into activities without discretion in order to fill in the empty blanks.  When faced with unexpected quiet or stillness, we need to take our time in learning how to embrace just 'being'.

When we do not learn to let go of fear and to embrace the unknown, we create a very rigid life style for our selves.  We do not experience any variance in our lives as we stick to our script.  So when we retire or physical ailments curtail our busy-ness, we are at a loss as to what to do.  Self-image or ego can become damaged by the sudden void which seemingly offers nothing for us to do.

The need to create a purpose surfaces.  Some fill it with extensive travel, volunteering, hobbies or avocations which become just as rigid as the earlier life style.  Underneath this need to be constant movement, we find the fear of dealing with our feelings.  We stay active disallowing our true nature to surface.  We will go to great depths to avoid what we have repressed.  For many, the act of being still is riddled with anxiety.

For those who are curious about this pause in time,  they find themselves exploring their fears.  They discover prejudices, misconceptions, or our culture's need for materialism.  When we begin to shed the many layers neatly stacked one upon the other, we can discard what we no longer need and feel freedom.  Whether on sabbatical or permanently leaving employment, many experience a huge relief.

It is in this stillness we learn to channel our energies into new aspects of life bringing deeper meaning to this physical experience.  We shift our thoughts to the earth, to the next generation, to compassion, and to meditation or prayer.  When we sit in the stillness we begin to experience our authentic self and a voice gently encourages us to be of service to our inner self and the outer world.  Our identity is no longer found in a career definition, but in our true nature as role model, gardener, painter, volunteer, writer or mother of a heartfelt cause. 

There is work to be done, yes; but the heart felt application comes only after one becomes comfortable in being still.  It is in this very stillness that direction is received, leading us to our highest nature.  By just 'being', we begin to resonate with the rhythms of the Universe, inspiring us to be empathetic human beings.  We then bring our love for life as service to our fellow human beings, to the world, and to all that breathes. 

If we pay attention to the stillness now, we can navigate life in a more meaningful way.  Do not wait for this understanding to come until we are crossing the last bridge of our life.

Some Sort of Symbol

If you truly hold a stone,

you can feel the mountain

it came from.

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

When I was a little girl, I was always collecting stones.  There were never any two alike.  In the summer, I especially liked to hold a stone in my hand and feel the energy stored from the sun.  I   had an old cigar box to keep my treasures safe. 

My cigar box is long gone, but my habit of collecting stones continues.  I have some from Maui, Sedona, Key West, and Boulder Junction.  Some are from farms, fields, oceans, rivers, and neighborhood walks.  The stones are all different shades of color and a variety of shapes. 

My one time favorite I discovered on the ground at a market in a small village in Mexico.  It was shaped exactly like a heart.  There is a huge boulder in Wisconsin that I sat on during the summers.  I would read, watch my children play, and day dream.  When I still had the statue of Hebe in the yard, I would come home and place my new rocks around her feet.   Enjoying a feminine vortex near a river bed, I was overwhelmed to come around a bend and see thousands of rocks piled singularly one upon another, reaching towards the sky.  I was even more surprised years later  to discover the very same scene along the ocean.

I believe stones must be some sort of symbol for me.   Perhaps I feel the energy within them and the shared energy grounds me to this earth.  I associate them with medicine wheels or sweat lodges I have helped to build.  I have used stones to form energy grids or to experience them as a hot rock massage.  I can hold river rocks and hear the water flowing. 

For whatever reason, I respect rocks just as much as flowers or birds.  Before I have ever removed a stone from its nesting place, I always ask permission to carry it away and thank the earth for its gift.  The earth does not belong to us, we belong to it.  And as temporary residents, we need to care for it in a more respectful and honorable way.

In the Silence

Silence is a fence around wisdom

German Proverb 

Silence can be found in isolation, but it can also be maintained in the presence of  chaos.  If we can quiet our mind and grow to be comfortable in the mental stillness, we can be any where or be present in any space.  We discover our teachers often times keep still when we are searching for answers.  We are aware of the knowledge the mentor retains, and yet they may remain silent when we long to hear answers.  Perhaps it is in the silence that our answers will appear.    The mentor knows we hold our answers within our own heart and spirit.

It can be good to hold our wisdom to our selves, being silent in the presence of another.  Our silence allows space for the other's inquisitive mind to explore and to put discoveries into a language.  The fence around our wisdom allows us the pleasure of not experiencing pressure to always have the appropriate answer.    We can sit in silence, content in just knowing what we hold to be true.

We can carry our silence with us, hearing the purity of the abundant sounds of nature.  In our silence, we can focus on deep breathing, experiencing subtle oneness.  When all is quiet within, we experience the lofty sense of just 'being' and not doing.  In this silence we will find our Divine in the midst of peace and calm.

Journey, Not A Destination

Nothing is taken from you
without something better
replacing it.

Sanders G. Laurie
Melvin J. Tucker
CENTERING

It seems that many people are going through a transition right now whether physical, mental or spiritual.  In order to embrace the forthcoming change, we need to make room.  This means getting rid of the old in preparation for the new.   We have behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that have seized to sustain us.  Perhaps we harbor grudges or criticisms from earlier on taking up space and weighing us down.

If we have a glass of spoiled milk, we do not pour fresh milk into the soured milk.  We throw away the old milk, clean the glass, and pour fresh milk into the glass.  The same is true with our selves.  When we release, we are letting go of things no longer serving us.  When we detach from negative emotion or dependence on  material things, we in a sense cleanse our selves so we can welcome new insight or abundance. 

Results are not always immediate.  The timing is not our own, so it may take awhile for us to notice that a shift has been made.  In hindsight, we see more clearly how things slid into place.  There are times, however, if we are alert, we can experience an 'ah-ha' moment when inspiration, insight, and wisdom overwhelm us all at once.

Measuring progress is a difficult task.  It is best to not be attached to the outcome, but to enjoy the process as it unfolds.    If we daily pay attention, we will realize how goodness arrives in very subtle ways.   In the words of Steven Tyler, "Life is a journey, not a destination."

Fruitless Race

Today, I resolve not to change myself,

but to accept myself.

Today, I seek not to repress my nature,

but express it.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS



We spend years trying to be like others, wearing the right clothes, landing the right job or joining the right organization.  All of this energy could be better invested in discovering our own authenticity.   Our fingerprints are unique just as our personality traits are  individually blended.  We are original and we must strive to fully become who we were meant to be.

Some where along the growth and development process, we finally give up the fruitless race of trying to be some one else.  We begin to focus on our own strengths and explore how they can be used to serve others in making the world a better place.

Even when we become successful in our own endeavors, we still do not  necessarily celebrate our unique abilities.  At the grocery store the other day, a woman caught her cart in a large produce wagon.  I noticed her struggling, so I walked over and said, "Here, let me help."  She immediately began apologizing for being so stupid, for not being more careful ... the tirade went on.   When the cart was finally dislodged, she gave me a huge smile and exclaimed, "You are the kindest person."  I immediately replied, "Not any kinder than you." She then immediately fell back into her tirade of berating herself.  Such a pity she was so uncomfortable with any compliment or any positive reflection of her very  lovely self.  I spoke with her a few more minutes.  I watched her almost cower as she talked and appeared to almost cringe with any kind word.  She avoided eye contact and seemed extremely awkward.  I could not help but wonder what part of life had beaten her so down. 

Some of us do not need enemies as we mentally badger our selves in spite of our goodness.  We minimize our accomplishments and become excruciatingly harsh if we miss just a step or two.  Our ego can be mean and cruel inside of our heads, leaving us devastated and depleted. 

When we become aware of the critic demeaning us, we need to turn the 'voice' off.  It is vitally important for us to be gentle and respectful with our selves.  If we do not treat our selves well, then why should any one else?  We must set an example of honoring our skills and respecting our unique place in this very large world.  There is a place of honor for everyone; really, there is plenty of room. 

 

Fly

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

― Rumi,

Essential Rumi 

 

 

 

After numerous lessons from life, we realize the need for balance whether it is with sleep, food, exercise, work or relationship.  We understand the phrases about not appreciating light without darkness or joy without sorrow or fortune without misfortune.  Over and over again we begin the walk across the tightrope hoping to use impeccable footing, and not fall, intending to create perfect balance. 

Time passes and we develop a sense of when we are tipping the scales without conscious focus.  We just know what we need and what we need to shed.  It is as simple as breathing in and out if we but discipline our behaviors.

When we have tentatively mastered balance, we seem to experience the momentum changing.  Life seems to slow down and we grow impatient, and then without any indication, life will also speed up leaving no time for real time.  There can be somewhat of a whiplash effect.

So back on the tightrope, we have secured in our memory every step to perfection, but then the rope begins to contract and then expand.  We find our selves desperately struggling to adjust our gait to adapt to these uncertainties.

And is this not what life is ... a series of uncertainties?  Intention and deliberate organization will not hold strong against the winds of change.  We must be adjustable when faced with the unpredictable and flexible with the illusion of certainty.  Finding comfort when we are confined by time and peaceful when we are expanded in creation is necessary for experience with balance.

It is when we gather acceptance and compassion into our heart that we finally become authentic and discover true appreciation and gratitude.  The unnecessary has been discarded through trial and error and we create anew with resilience.  It is through this labor of contraction and expansion we learn to spread our wings and fly.

Spring Flowers

The gift of the universe is upon each

who seek its presence/presents.

Ron Rathbun

THE WAY IS WITHIN

This morning, we bought flowers ... lots of flowers!  I get to choose the plants for the shaded front porch and Russ expertly chooses flowers for the containers in front of our home and in the back on the deck.  I felt like a child in a toy store, wandering up and down aisles of flowers knowing I could not have them all, but only just a few. 

Once we were home, we made an area for potting all of our newly purchased treasures.  We have many decorative clay pots and then numerous containers of varied colors.  It felt so good to be using my creative spirit in arranging the plants in the appropriate planters.  Then I rotated them several times before I found the perfect arrangement for on the front porch. 

I marveled at the beauty of my flowers.  The front porch was filled with vibrant colors, each plant having a particular charm of its own.  I was very much aware of the presence of this new energy as I breathed in the mild fragrances.   

The back patio and deck are filled with colors and my enthusiasm for the presents of spring soars.  I feel so alive again as I am connected to all of nature and  creatures both great and small.  It is good to be here, witnessing these gifts of the universe.  May the blessings be ...

Experience the Freedom

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water.

Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup,

you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle,

you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot.

Now water can flow or it can crash.

Be water, my friend.

Bruce Lee

(November 27, 1940 ~ July 20, 1973) 

 

Finally, I feel the limitations of a winter hibernation falling away.  The warmer weather generates hope and instills the prospect of new growth.  I find my self breathing again, deep breaths.  I want to welcome the sunshine into the depths of my soul, thawing all that has been frozen.

My legs are once again finding their stride while I watch the landscapes unfold with my eyes.  The grass is a vibrant and healing green and the lovely flowers yearn to be seen.  The trees as they flower magically release scents of honeysuckle and crab apple.   The little creatures skitter to and fro while the song  birds are perched both high and low. 

I strive to cast off  the sadness of winter  as the sun floods my heart with joy and gladness.  I am once again thankful for this life and grateful for all kindness being extended in this world.  I am ready to embrace opportunities coming my way and to meet life's challenges in the most positive and gentle way.

Whether I dig in the dirt or master an art, inspiration stimulates life anew.  Creativity triggers the natural rhythm of life  and calls me to stand aside, out of my very own way.  I can now experience the freedom  to be limitless, formless and shapeless in the presence of Spring. 

Small Acts

“Do your little bit of good where you are;

it's those little bits of good put together

that overwhelm the world.”

Desmond Tutu

We can spend an entire year or years planning one huge charity event which is quite generous, but what about random acts of kindness?  What can we do today in this moment rather than waiting years for results?

While going to a gathering the other day, I noticed a lame duck struggling across the street.  I immediately looked in the rear view mirror and no one was behind me, so I stopped.  The on coming car also noticed the duck limping across the busy street.  She stopped as well.  

The poor duck was frightened for sure as he kept changing directions.  He would go one way across the street, but then turn and come back.  I noticed cars lining up behind me and realized there were just as many forming a long line behind the car across from me.  Back and forth the duck went.

I was beginning to feel pressure to proceed, but it was so obvious the injured duck truly was not safe.  I noticed, however, that no one was honking their horn or yelling.  Everyone was being really quite patient.  I began to mentally converse with this animal, to gently encourage it to get out of the street.   I felt certain others were sending prayers or using the brief stillness for deep breaths or regrouping of priorities.  I was really pleased with the goodness of all involved.

As the duck finally waddled away, the driver of the on coming car waved at me and offered  a big smile.  I returned the gestures.  We had shared a simple moment of kindness allowing our selves to feel good. 

I continued to notice just the smallest signs of kindness as I continued on.  In the midst of the long line of cars, one person stopped to let a car from the side street slip into line.  At the next traffic light, a driver slowed allowing a car to turn in front of him rather than race through the light. 

These are all such small acts requiring only a moment in time.  To be respectful to others even when we have the right of way or  to wave or to smile or to nod are all small gestures that have the potential of brightening some one else's day.  We may not receive any large reward, but we may be setting a good example for someone else who will pass it on. 

When we extend small acts of kindness throughout our day we are creating a sense of community.  The results make us feel good inside, others are touched, and our perception of the world changes.

Mothers and Children

"Our initial connection to life comes solely through the mother.  She is the one who provides assurance of survival --- or not.  She is the one who transmits and confers our most basic right to be loved and to give love --- or not. 

Mother could only love, approve of, and appreciate me to the degree that she could love, approve of, and appreciate herself.  She was not capable of that because  she did not love the feminine part or herself."

Deborah King

TRUTH HEALS

We are not always loved in the manner in which we would like.  Sometimes we have to embrace how love is offered to us, as long as it is healthy.  Hopefully we will understand in time, the lack of love is not a judgment of our selves, but the inability  of the giver.   Not all of us have had inspirational female role models and not all of us have had children of our own.  The mother - child relationship, however, can be duplicated in a number of healthy ways.

In some instances, a grandmother or favorite aunt may step in offering unconditional love.  There may be a teacher who takes a special interest in us and encourages us in a personal way.  As we grow older, we become more aware of accomplished women who can inspire us.  Role models are prolific ... professors, doctors, authors, poets, painters, actresses, dancers, and singers.  In researching such role models, we learn most people have had enormous struggles to get where they have finally arrived --- or not.

"I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.”  This is a quote from Anne Lamott.  It is a misconception to believe only mothers can love their children.  Anyone can love a child, and love them deeply.  There are teachers, mentors, and professionals who love children with a passion to instill self-worth, healing and personal integrity. 

If you have not had a child of your own, you can do more with your energy than trying to fill this void.  There are so many children in our neighborhoods, schools, and families needing attention.  Volunteers are needed in schools, hospitals, and non-profit organizations like Big Sister Programs.  These kinds of relationships can fill our hearts if we allow it to happen --- or not.

So on this Mother's Day, I honor all of you who have given so generously from your heart.  It doesn't matter if you have been a grandmother, aunt, teacher, volunteer, professional or neighborhood mom, I honor the graciousness of your kind deeds.  I also honor all of the children who allowed themselves to heal through the experience of love.

Endless gratitude for compassionate love shared with children no matter their religion, color, or creed.  Equally, deep appreciation is extended to the children who have loved back in return by embracing an elder of any means.  Today we can celebrate the love for each other and the healing compassion unfolding in our hearts.

Closest Ally

“A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.”

Victoria Secunda



Today is my daughter's birthday.  She was born on Mother's Day and has been an everlasting gift of joy, hope, and courage.    She was welcomed into the world by numerous family members, but especially embraced by her three brothers.  Her brothers educated her well in holding her own against the male gender.  They carried her everywhere when she was young and protected her ferociously when older.  They foolishly encouraged her to talk and she has since  mastered articulation to a science.

After three boys, I was not as certain as to how a girl child was to be raised.  Then it became so obvious ... lead with my heart.  My daughter and I learned together, faced challenges, and accepted each other.  We spent endless hours quietly reading, going for lengthy walks and funny bike rides.  We could sit for hours on a porch swing discussing everything or nothing.  Just to be present with each other has been nurturing and a blessing.

Together we have journeyed to Wisconsin, New Jersey, Wichita, Dallas, San Diego, Seattle, San Fransisco, and New York.  As I age, I can feel our relationship shifting.  It is as though the tables are turning as she begins to gently assist me.  She has been my nurturer, safe haven, and support.  We have both given and received, knowing that our hearts will be linked forever.

My daughter's intelligence, drive, and persistence have awarded her exceptional skills to help families, children and individuals in addition to being a professor.  In her own way, she helps to heal the next generation while strengthening the bonds of feminine freedom. 

 

Sibling Birthdays

To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. - Clara Ortega

This is not a very good picture, but it is one of my favorites.  My second son was born on May 10th and my daughter, the youngest of four, was born on May 11th.  Born in different years, there are nine years between them. 

As time passes, nothing warms my heart more than seeing my children together and thoroughly enjoying each other.  To listen to these two releasing age old secrets and  constant teasing makes me very happy.  They share a bond that hopefully will never be broken.

In Astrology, they are Tarus which means they are resourceful and productive which both of their successful careers reflect.  They are both dependable, persistent and determined.  They have  been excellent teachers to me and I would not be who I am today without either one of them.

This son was the most difficult to raise out of three boys.  He was extremely hyper and reveled in tormenting his three sibs while appearing to be quiet to strangers.  He could be the most endearing child one moment and driving you crazy the next.  The bond between us has never been about time and place, but rather a sense of having been connected all of our yesterdays and every tomorrow.

This handsome young man is married to a beautiful and intelligent woman.  Together they have two amazing children who will surely make this world a better place.  I am deeply proud of the man he has made of himself  in spite of life's challenges.