"When the Mind and the Heart are congruent with each other, living in this sense of integration is actually very easy to do. This does not mean that there are no challenges; it simply means that the suffering is optional."
~ Dr. Michael Lennox
My dear friend Nancy was filling my head this morning with all sorts of inspiring articles. I am always amazed at how much information she has at her fingertips. She is very knowledgeable about random websites with incredible information. ( NanYoga-AlongthePath@blogspot.com) So instead of being bogged down by this rainy morning, I feel very integrated and safe to be me.
Life is filled with challenges. Some we eagerly embrace and succeed while others may bring us to our knees. What is an issue for one person may not be for the next. Change and conflict are entwined throughout our days and many dark nights, all of which are unavoidable. We cannot eliminate the challenges in our life, but we can control the emotions we invest into any situation.
Eckhart Tolle has written and lectured numerous times about controlling the pain created by our emotions. This is based on our ability to embrace our challenge without becoming stuck in heavy emotions. He encourages to keep our eyes on the task and move through the fear without taking on unnecessary pain. We get to choose how long and how deeply we want to continue suffering.
This is not to say that we can avoid pain completely, but it does say that we can minimize the depth of a situation by our emotional response. When we honestly address our emotions they do not become repressed or deeply complex. We will feel pain and sorrow, rejuvenating our spirits at our own time and place, but we will not become overwhelmed and reside in our sorrow.
If a friend hurts my feelings, I can respond to myself by thinking, "Wow. They must be having a really bad day," or "She was really rude to me and I am not going to talk to her." By personalizing the situation, by taking on responsibility for my friend, I get enmeshed in additional emotion. I may even choose to gossip and tell another friend about what happened, making things even more complex. In our minds, a small incident can become totally out of proportion. So if I originally just gave my friend the benefit of the doubt that she was having a bad day, I could move forward easily without wasting my energy flopping around in self-pity.
I realize the example above is not critical, but it is nevertheless an example of two ways of reacting to any given situation. Another option would have been to stop our friend and say,
"Hey, you just really hurt my feelings." This is a means of clearing up the situation immediately. Generally, we will find that our friend misspoke and had no intention of hurting our feelings.
There are life challenges more severe like hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, and illness. These things cannot so easily be dealt with, but we still have the choice of where we want to put our focus. We can mourn our loss, but we still choose a response. We can choose to fall into fear paralysed or we can begin to make a positive plan out of what little we may have remaining. Our personal energy is a force and is best used when maintained in one healthy direction rather than fragmented into emotional concerns.
Although I have not mastered this entirely, I do have numerous opportunities to keep my heart and mind integrated in an attempt to move through bumps along the way. I don't always immediately remember to keep my self congruent, but I am getting better at catching my emotional behavior before it wanders into the depths of depression or fear.
The best setting for me is reflected in the picture above. I don't want to travel on a super highway, I want to stay in the middle of the less traveled road. I want to have nature on either side of me with the beautiful heavens above. I desire to hear birds singing and follow my path until I come to a stream with rocks to sit upon. As night falls, I will place a full moon in the sky and sprinkle tiny stars for all to see. There will be a circle of fire gathering sisters and friends,
a safe place for stories and me.
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