Setting Intentions

Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.

Isolation is what you crave when

you neglect the first.

Wayne Cordeiro

Leading on Empty

In mid December, I was mildly aware of a need to withdraw.  Considering my self to be an extroverted/hermit, I was not necessarily concerned.  My desire to be alone continued to grow well into the next year.  I continued to feel a deep need to be isolated.  The thought of being alone truly resonated with me, and yet a part of me questioned why I was having this behavior.  My concern about what I was deliberately doing grew, but I honored my decision to remain in isolation.

I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, and maintained my writing and reading, otherwise isolated.  Then one day some words jumped off the page as I quietly read:  "Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul.  Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first."  These words by Wayne Cordeiro struck a nerve deep down within me.

As I looked back through my journal, I found my original longing for a deeper soul connection.  Instead of seeking solitude to soul search, I chose isolation which I seemed to crave.   Even though my sense of connection stretched quite thin, I remained rigid in pursuit of what I thought I needed. 

While in isolation, I was not feeding my soul.  I was not shoring my self up, but rather disintegrating.  Although well intended, my actions took me in the opposite direction from where I originally wanted to be.  Isolation felt  cold and lonely,  with waves of separation.  Instead of growing closer to all that is, I was falling down the rabbit hole.

Solitude really is different from isolation.  Isolation is being cut off from everything as all healthy systems shut down.  Solitude is deliberately selected with the purpose of opening up to learn more.  Listen to both of these words ... isolation and solitude ... as even their pronunciations indicate the cold in one and  comfort in the other.

Once I realized the error with my intention, I quickly set out to revamp my actions.  I continued with my weekly groups, meetings, and chosen commitments, maintaining my reading and writing while carving out time for solitude.  Within this solitude, I opened my heart with the intention to deeply grow. 

Leaving isolation behind, I reached out to sisters of my heart for  insight to later be explored during my solitude.  Being still by my self during this designated time generated inspiration and understanding.  In this time of solitude, I was able to stretch and grow ... my original yearning.

We must be careful when setting intentions as the Universe truly desires to meet our requests.  I had set my sails for isolation and that is exactly what I had received.  Even while I had been sensing I was not entirely on target, I had kept my sails billowing in the wind.  I had remained determined and rigid.   Had I simply allowed my intention to bend, I could have gone with the flow instead of against it.

In solitude, I  now sit amongst the stars and nap by the sun, while refining my soul.  Another lesson learned ... at least this time around!