Assumptions Hide Reality

"We are all humiliated by the sudden discovery of a fact

which has existed very comfortably and perhaps been

staring at us in private while we have been making up

our world entirely without it."

George Eliot

My father as a detective in a big city, observed everyone around him.  He expected the same from me.  If a man came by the house to see him when he was at work, he would drill me ... What did he look like ... How tall was he ... What was he wearing ... How did he act or talk?  With the desire to please my father, I became an excellent reporter.  

As I grew older, I carried this behavior to a greater extent.  Like my father, I purposely faced the door when seated at a restaurant or gathering.  I made notice of others surrounding me capturing details.  If someone left, I knew it.  If someone arrived, I could describe them.

Perfecting my driving skills included being aware of cars behind me, automobiles that passed by me, and unusual activity anywhere around me.  Perhaps this sounds paranoid, but it is a skill that has  kept me safe, enhanced my perception of life occurring, and an enhanced perception of behaviors.  The inquisitions by my father made me aware of how often we assume facts to complete our expectations.

Offerings of All Things

"Discovery consists of looking at the same thing

as everyone else and thinking something different."

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

We have a tendency to dull our senses and begin to see everything as ordinary.  We feel  others are seeing what we are seeing.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  Experiment with this challenge by your lovely self or engage a family member or circle of friends.

Challenge:  Select an object.  (It can be a flower, rock, book, picture, etc... )  It is not necessary for it to have any special meaning.  Hold the object or set it near by and look at it.  Gently begin to see defining marks never noticed before.  Set it to the side and do not look at it again until considerable time has passed.

Once again look at this same object.  What is different?  What had not been noticed before?  Has it increased in value or lessened?  If when held, does it change in any way?  This exercise is enhanced if notes are jotted down at each viewing to receive the full benefit of change.  (In a group, observe the object once, write a description down, then share the findings. It is amazing how answers will differ.)
Slow down and notice the offerings of all things.

The Long Path Followed

"We all spend much of our lives answering the questions of others,

and moving in whatever direction they point.   But the more you

conceive of your own questions, the more you'll be making decisions

about where you want to go next."

Dan Milllman and Sierra Prasada 

Great wisdom comes from Masters and wise old souls, but the script written upon our heart directs us to a most definite direction.  Research is invaluable, but following the heart will guide us on our intended journey.

There are times we second guess ourselves and one can almost hear the angels exclaim, "Oh no!  She's turning left! She's turning the long way."  No harm nor foul, just an indication the journey is not following the expected path.

Taking the long way around is not necessarily bad.  It means it will obviously take longer, increase our experiences and supply the danger of wandering too far off the intended path.  Going the long way is like doing things more difficult than intended, but I can testify the experiences have painted a glorious landscape.

Embrace the Forthcoming New!

"Not being impressed by anyone or anything is

one of the surest paths to a life of mediocrity."

Wayne Gerard Trotman

If we look for the gift in the people we meet, we leave little room for criticism and judgment.  To gaze into the eyes and listen carefully to the spoken word, we move closer to the unveiling unique spirits.  Authenticity recognized by simply being present, enables the other to thrive.

There is a cycle in nature of release, rest, and unfold.  Like the caterpillar, we need to shed our protective covering and boldly expand our wings.  The trees release their leaves to hibernate, awakening after winter to sprout new growth.  As human beings, we are much the same.

This season of spring invites us to discard, clean, and refurbish both physically and emotionally.  It is an opportunity to find a better mind set, project, or friend.  To embrace the new, one must clear a path to welcome newness in.  Shed the winter cloaks and open the heart to embrace the forthcoming new!

Stand Before the Rain

"Here in your heart, deep in your soul, 

resides the universe's collective wisdom,

waiting for expression through your life's experience."

Robbie Vorhaus

Congested by dogma, politics, acts of violence and closed minds, I stand before the rain knowing it will cleanse me.  I feel resistance even though the healing drops of water splash before me.  I am wound so tightly, and yet, I feel hesitancy to take any action ... paralyzed.

The wind begins to blow throwing a few drops of rain upon my face and I am reminded of innocence and the freedom in flying.  I take steps forward doused in the rain.  The negativity runs down my body, across my feet and down into the earth.

Thankful for the mystery of the appearing sun, I feel the warm sun beams comforting my body, mind, and spirit.  My body feels weightless and an eagerness pours from my heart to truly live uncensored.  With my eyes freshly cleansed,  I see the light of others drawing me forward to live in a compassionate existence with love for everyone.

Beyond Mediocrity

"Without self-discipline, potentials are useless, and

mediocrity becomes the plaque of life."

Clement Ogedegbe

Creativity is within each of us and there are many options and tools to express it.  Our individual imagination may be strong in math, science, art, invention or any other original way of expressing our inner visions.  As we actualize our dreams, we will discover the best tool to use.

The level of our ability does not enter the equation.  The emphasis is on how we use our particular skill.  It is to bring ourselves pleasure, to help expand and enhance our life.  If we minimize our talents, our life will contain a mediocre sense of identity. 

Investing time in our skill will heighten our self awareness which brings us a certain joy or element of fun.  Practice itself is not a struggle nor does it  have  the expectation of greatness.  As we hone our individual skill, we begin to feel more comfortable in our earth suit and repeatedly delve to discover more within.

Creativity:  Growing Grapes, Planting Vegetables, Map Making, Wallpaper Design, Architecture, Inventions, Organizational Planners, Caterers, Basket Making; Quilting; Lectures; Exhibits; Chefs; Clothing, Home or Car Design; and the list is endless...

Inscribed Story

"We always fall in love with a story,

not a name or a body, but what is 

inscribed in the man."

Susana Fortes

All you need is a pencil and some paper and scheduled time to not be interrupted.  Sit silently for a few minutes to clear your mind of the day's tasks, family obligations or career expectations,   This time is carved out just for you.

You then take mental steps backwards from your life.  The screen becomes so wide you find it easier to watch the child grow up without personally being engaged.  Stick to the facts.  You may want to use an outline such as:

STORY OF MY LIFE

I.  Infant

     Birth place

     People present

      Where you lived

      Other family members

      Overtone of this time

II. Childhood

     Playmates

     Family members

      Perception of safety

     Family rituals

     Overtone of this time 

...etc...

The purpose is for you to be objective and record the structure of the family.  After the outline which can continue through adulthood, you can slow down and expand upon each entry.  Look for patterns, things you were never really aware of which influenced family dynamics.  You can choose to write a story with these gathered facts from a personal and emotional point of view or from an observer's view noting the dynamics.   You have permission to create additional information or to adjust traumatic experiences.  You can tell your story with humor or symbols.  It is your story so let's get going!

Nurturing with Nature

"The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun,

heart with nature.  To nurture a garden is to feed not just 

on the body, but the soul."

Alfred Austin

There is something therapeutic about gardening.  Digging into the rich soil, our hands join in some unspoken union.  The connection with the dirt tends to make us feel more alive while the sun warms our crown.

Then there is the joy of deciding what to plant and where.  Some gardeners lean towards a highly structured and organized planting that will take over life from spring to fall.  Then there are the gardeners spreading vibrant colors hoping to attract humming birds and butterflies.  Truly, this is the heart of the matter ... nurturing with nature.

With this activity comes a shifting of the soul.  We feel more positive with the hope of planting new things.  We anticipate watching the tiny buds push up in search of light.  Thriving, with appropriate tender care, manifestation of life unfolds before our eyes as our souls soar.

When The Shadow Hovers ...

"Feed yourself with the food of wisdom.

Wisdom is recognized by joy and peace.

When you allow your ways to be light, you go high.

When your path supports heaviness, it weighs you down.

Raphael Zernoff

Heaviness has been shadowing me.  Early morning reading and writing did not bring new light and if anything, darkness began to fall.  It is important to not let this shadow get ahead of me, so I faced the sun and inhaled deep breaths of bliss and exhaled buckets of dim.

I have been floundering, dragging this heaviness with me, not able to shake free.  I sat down hoping meditation would flush emotions to the surface, to understand what has been bothering me.  I was able to unearth the wound creating this despair.  It was the obituary in this morning's paper of a friend from long ago.

I do not fear death as I believe in the realms or heavens poets discuss.  In my heart, I feel that those have passed will be in spirit when I, too, pass.  This is my core belief system, but apparently my human emotions have not caught up with this spiritual level of thinking.  I am feeling the loss of a friend, no matter how long apart we have been.  I can still hear laughter, serious conversations, and  the spin we put on things.  I will honor this relationship that has come to an end with a small candle, glass of wine, and lovely words to return joy and bliss.  

What's Getting Under My Skin

"Things are not as easily understood nor as expressible

as people usually would like us to believe.  Most happenings

are beyond expression; they exist where a word has never intruded."

Rainer Maria Rilke

Bombarded by negative political commercials, overwhelmed by presidential activity coverage, and emotionally stressed by the judgments thrown at high school students determined to be safe in school, I keep retreating into hibernation.  A trusted sister of my heart pointed out that I was not grounding myself.  She also reminded me to name what was triggering me and explore how each of these areas apply to me personally.  Of course she was right.  

POLITICAL COMMERCIALS:  The ad is not being used to advertise the person's ability.  Instead, it is being used to bash the opponent.  I have a low threshold for criticism rather than positive encouragement.  PRESIDENTIAL COVERAGE:  It would seem this position reflects my opinion of authority.  Focus tends to be 'look how important I am,' rather than 'let's work together'.  HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS are articulating with intelligence.  People want youth to be accountable, but not be smarter than the adults.

When I align my body, mind, and spirit, it is not difficult to stay strong and in the moment; otherwise, I am racing from fear to my hermit's cave.  All of the above scenarios symbolically remind me of old wounds.  If I read inspiration, write or articulate, and stretch my body, it is easier to remember my worthiness.   When I stand in my own power, I can calm my inner child and remind her we are the adults  making our own decisions; choosing those we respect and admire;  and articulating silence to release that which has been repressed.

Self Discovery Leads to A New You!

"I believe that true identity is found ... in creative activity

springing from within.  It is found, paradoxically, when 

one loses oneself.  Woman can best refind herself in some

kind of creative activity of her own."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

You can research any subject, position yourself in classes or work as an assistant to an established mentor; but, until you begin to practice solo, you will not evolve.  You can use the work of others as a template to be redefined by your own creativity; otherwise, it is clearly plagiarism.

Barriers preventing you from moving forward are low self-esteem, fear of criticism, minimizing authentic gifts, and stepping out of our comfort zone.  If the idea of beginning is too overwhelming, engage a friend to begin with you.  Paint, draw, sew, or invent with a kindred spirit which assists both of you in motivation and determination.

Adjust expectation and use flexible deadlines, staying in the moment and allowing the project to unfold.  The process itself is to be enjoyed, not pushed through.  Creative activity is an opportunity for you to release unrecognized abilities within.  There is no need to become a master, as each experience may lead you to another.  Live fully expressing who you are within.

Creative Impulses

"The human spirit lives on creativity

and dies in conformity and routine."

Vilayat Inayat Khan

We grow complacent unintentionally.  It just happens that we get stuck in routine.  If we do not have any fresh sense of input, we stay the same.  People fear change but kindled passion is about expanding.  Creativity strengthens who we are ... the parts that make us thrive.

Being creative is similar to throwing a window open to let in a fresh spring breeze.  Breaking from routine can be refreshing like a rain shower.  It is an awakening to deep parts of our lovely selves wanting to burst forth to be fully participating in life itself.

We are creative when we change the furniture around; get a hair cut; select seed packets; or whip up a new dessert.  It does not take an artist to bring color and pattern into our world.  Start seeing objects through expanded vision and welcome the incidental handiwork.  Admire the carpenter's particular design, the vase of flowers at the diner and the bright colors swirling in the neighbor's dress.  Wake up!  Breathe life in deeply nudging creative impulses.

The World Becomes An Orchestra

  "Sometimes an artist's first invention is herself,"

    Stephanie Vaughn

In the first part of life we are free to exercise our wild imaginations.  Then we step into the line of conformity with efforts to become just like everyone else.  Eventually, we realize we have to express our lovely self in our very own way.

As multi faceted human beings, imprints are made by grandma's cooking or mom's quilting or the gardener living next door.  There is no need to sterilize what has touched our hearts, but we indeed are called to accent our authentic sense of self.  

Once we organize our individual parts, we designate a way to infiltrate life with our personal touch.  Whether it is music, art, or kindness, we are asked to be accountable in sharing the unique quality with others.  We learn from each other and as we combine all peoples gifts and talents, the world becomes an orchestra!

Musical Spiritual Expression

"My music is the spiritual expression of what I am ...

my faith, my knowledge, my being.  When you begin

to see the possibilities of music, you desire to do 

something really good for people, to help humanity

free itself from its hangups ... 

I want to speak to their souls."

John Coltrane

The awareness of music and how it impacts us personally has been a curiosity to me.  In my career, I noticed how much faster preschoolers played when the music was tuned up loud with a high tempo. Then I would lower the volume of the music, choosing a softer rhythm which slowed the little ones down.

The same was noticed within the homes I served.  Clients would have the music so loud a person couldn't think ... and I believe that was the point.  Hyper activity was chosen over slowing down to face reality. In private counseling sessions I would play what is called elevator music which created a sense of security and calm.

I can only imagine the thrill of playing a musical instrument and wish I could experience the ability to actually write music.  I am thankful for those who are gifted and share talents with us.  Thanks to YOUTUBE there are plenty of guided meditations and music for solitude in nocturnal preparation.  My choice of music reflects who I am and it assists me to stay in tune with my soul.

Factual Reporting on St Patrick's Day

"Raise the glass on March 17 

and share the luck of the Irish."

Country Living

March 17 is the celebration of St. Patrick's death, not his birth.  Those with Irish heritage will attend parades and perhaps drink green beer.  Actually, St. Patrick was not Irish nor were his parents. He was a slave kidnapped by the Irish Raiders when he was 16,  escaping when he was 22.  He fled to England where he spent 12 years studying to be closer to God, then eventually returned to Ireland.  Although the shamrock is a symbol for good luck, St Patrick used it to teach  The Holy Trinity:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

According to legend, St Patrick drove snakes out of Ireland even though Ireland did not have any snakes.  Some say the snakes were a symbol for pagan beliefs.  The color green is associated with St Patrick even though  he always wore blue.  Originally, the harp was the symbol for Ireland, not the shamrock and ornate decorations were consistently blue.

There are a  multitude of Irish in the United States even though earlier they were severely persecuted upon reaching the land.  Politicians of that time were against Catholic Irishmen.  Reading through this information, makes one wonder if factual reporting ever existed and if politicians have dominated rather than represent the desires of the people... ever.

***Saint Patrick was a Saint and deserves recognition, but why not base it on fact and not fiction.

Origin of Kindness

"The Buddha of Compassion has a thousand eyes 

that see the pain in all corners of the universe to

extend his help."

Sogyal Rinpoche

The dictionary defines the verb help as:"to make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering one's services or resources."   As the sludge of darkness seemingly spreads across the world, I wonder when someone will step in and save us from this craziness.  The error in this thinking is expecting someone else to do the clean up, make waves, or instigate change.

The true question is what can I personally do?  Immediately I excuse myself as I do not have billions of dollars nor the power to dictate to anyone.  So once again I step back feeling helpless.  Then I remember that help is any degree of assistance aimed at any level of need.

As I may not be able to impact World Trade, I can help at the local soup kitchen, donate unused clothes to shelters, knit scarves, and donate to the food pantry.  Standing wherfe I am right now, there are numerous actions I can take and all kindness impacts the world no matter of the origin.

Not At Risk

"No man has the right to dictate what the other men should perceive,

create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves,

their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit."

Ansel Adams

When a person speaks to us, our listening field should be clear and open to new arrivals of thought, theory or concept.  Our focus is on the arrival of information regardless of our own private preferences.  To listen does not commitment to confirmation nor denial.  We are simply offering an open space for a person to be genuine.  

We are being lesser than if our mind is preparing a response before the new information is even offered. As one speaks, we are not obliged to contradict nor confirm.  Adjust the mind like opening a window for fresh air.  Dismiss preconceived opinions and stand in the space of being a listener, not orator.  

We all want to be heard.  It is important to hear our thoughts take shape into words.  We are not necessarily sharing for acceptance nor judgment.  Our intention is to speak our truth in the present moment.  We have the ability to change after speaking as this is the flexibility in learning. The one who excels understands his or her core values and is not at risk by listening to others.

Incentives of Mother Nature

"A garden is a grand teacher.

It teaches patience and careful watchfulness;

it teaches industry and thrift;

above all it teaches entire trust."

Gertrude Jekyll

In conversation with an expectant father, he excitedly shared, "I can hardly wait for the baby to unfold.  To discover what gifts he or she brings into this world!"  The children of today would be infinitely different if they were raised with this encouraging and supportive attitude.  Like a dedicated gardener,  perhaps.

Labor, the tight passage through the soil with the gardener calling the new creation to push!  Breaking ground, the sprout turns into a stalk as the gardener consistently checks the soil and protects the newbies from inclement weather.  There is no mantra of the necessity to be multi colored or short or tall or a climbing vine.  The gardener watches with glee.

The gardener longs for all plants to be healthy, carefully adding to the soil or pruning when necessary.  The day to day dedication and patient longing with bursts of love encourages the flowers, plants, and bushes to thrive.  The added bonus is to take notice of who becomes attracted: magnificent butterflies,  or amazing hummingbirds.  Parents would do well to follow the incentives of Mother Nature. 

The Diversity of Definition

 

Homonyms: words which have the same spelling 

and pronunciation, but have different meanings.

Crane: That bird is a crane.

They had to use a crane to lift the object.

She had to crane her neck to see the movie.

grammar.yourdictionary.com

The English language is challenging to understand as it uses words that sound the same, but are different in meaning, as well as, words pronounced the same but spelled differently.  It is recommended to make sure we understand what is being asked of us.  

Words often used in place of each other often do not have the same implication, such as:  God; Religion; Christian; Universe; and Spiritual. Each of these words may be similar, but have aspects distinctively different.  

In meaningful conversations, it is best to ask the specific meaning of words within the question.  If someone asks if you are a christian, one might ask what is the person's definition of christian.  We cannot assume it will be aligned with our own.  In order to maintain a conversation with integrity, it is important to understand the diversity of definitions . 

A Sense of Relief

 

"Unexpressed emotions will never die.  

They are buried alive and will come

forth later in uglier ways."

Sigmund Freud

Attention is required for each of our multi-faceted parts as they are vastly different and require individual nurturing and assistance.  We have a tendency to down play or minimize our weaker elements and focus our energy on our obvious strengths.  

We are constantly told to forget the past or to not dwell in the past; but as an infection, a cankerous emotional sore, although avoided, continues to fester.  It may build until it can no longer be contained and explode in a totally inappropriate setting.  When repressed, an emotional wound can impair body, mind, and spirit.  

If we grab a journal or a paint brush, we can ask ourselves what am I feeling?  Through pen or brush, we can portray what is buried beneath our kindheartedness without digging into the actual past.  Stick with what is being felt and be curious as to what would make this area be healthier.  We don't have to relive the past in order to experience a sense of relief.  

Silently Drawn

"Let yourself be silently drawn

by the stronger pull

of what you really love."

Rumi

All of us have obligations and hold ourselves accountable to family, friends, and career; but, what about towards our personal space?  Do we intentionally make room for individual creative time and do we maintain it?  We are masters of shifting boundaries to accommodate others, but sadly, not so much with ourselves.

To carve out time for our passion, we must be intentional and follow through.  The attention we give to ourselves allows us to be a better parent, friend or employee.  If we do not respect the privacy and creativity we owe to ourselves, we will eventually become overloaded or depleted which leads to damage to our body, such as illness.

Physically, if we take care of our lovely self, we remain healthier.  Emotionally, if we acknowledge rather than repress or avoid what is bothering us, we are mentally stronger.  Spiritually, (whatever that means for you), we feel a connection throughout our days and remain aligned.  Body, mind and spirit, really so simple for the rewards they bring!

Riddled with Joy

"I open myself to receive 

the abundance of the universe."

Patricia Bass

As we begin to realize the depth of the universe, we are no longer singularly fixed on money as the  ultimate sign of success.  We remain determined to succeed, but as we move forward an appreciation for segments of nature or fellow man catches our attention.

Passion is good for the soul and dedication propels us forward, but life ceases to be about money.  We develop a different rhythm which allows us to notice gifts with a keener eye.  Acknowledging the beauty in nature and mankind expands us and builds a bond or connection.

Whether it is in the face of a beaming child or the wisdom of an elder, sparks ignite within us honing  our respect and honor for self and others.  If money is the obsession at the end of the tunnel without pause, we do not have the awareness of the richness surrounding us.  Fullness arrives from living with appreciation.  Notice the birds, a frown changing into a smile, a stranger reaching out to help another stranger or a dedicated time for silence at the end of the day.  The day becomes riddled with joy.

The Promise of Spring

"Imagination is everything.

It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

Albert Einstein

With thoughts of spring approaching, my heart and mind begin to awaken and rejuvenate. I visualize how the deck will look adorned in colorful flowers with a depth of variety.  I will position myself in the hammock gazing up to the sky watching the buds pop out on the branches of the trees while the flowers begin their voyage out of the darkness of the soil.  

Hibernation provides gifts which I truly need, however, I now yearn for warmer spring weather.  The tiny drops of  rain begin to clear the path leading from my cave.  The light draws me into  an active life style as  I tend to have more energy.

My creativity soars as I write on the front porch glider observing neighbors.  Little creatures begin to scamper around and play.  The heaviness of winter slowly lifts and spring makes its debut.  I believe all of my creative thoughts are propelled into the future making my visions come true.  

The End of the Line

"I like trains.  I like their rhythm, and I like the freedom of being suspended

between two places, all anxieties of purpose taken care of; for this moment

I know where I a going."

Anna Funder

Trains have always been an adventure to me, whether at kiddie land; to and from college; the subway; or traveling home from California.  The railroad escorts passengers with access to move forward or backward within the connected cars.     The tracks guide the train to a destination with passengers having differing intentions.

The rocking motion of the train allows my body to relax and feel safe.  Although there are strangers around me, I feel a sense of privacy in my seat.  Sitting next to the window, my head rarely turns away as I watch life spin by.  I become mesmerized by the views which releases my mind to take flight into other realms. Yes, I love riding the rails.

The train symbolizes life housing numerous kindred spirits.   I board at one station while another wayfarer  joins later.  Lessons are exhibited in each car and how I master them determines my movement from car to car.  There is no concept of climbing up the ladder, just a jostling of movement back and forth to bring us to awareness. We are equals transported by a train, but we seek  individual life purpose.  These days, I can be found riding in the open air of the caboose mastering joy until I  reach the end of the line.   

Live Centered

"When we 'live centered' we live intentionally,

and feel more in control of what we do and why!

... we take back control and accomplish things important to us!"

Lisa Eskra Summers

Live Centered

The word align is very symbolic for me.  Alignment allows balance in what I do, creating peace and joy in my life.  If I do not remain aligned, I become off balance and wander off course.  The wandering can be a beneficial trip, but too often I am not aware of my own departure.

I recently came across a website by Lisa Eskra Summers entitled LIVE CENTERED.    Lisa Eskra Summers is a NASM certified personal trainer, an ACE Fitness Nutrition Specialist, and a Life Style Coach.  Her passion is based on balancing fitness, nutrition and life change.  She works with her client to 'feel better in body, mind, and spirit.'

There are a variety of ways to accomplish a balanced life, but it requires intention, awareness, and balance.  If we feel the least bit off kilter, why not make minor adjustments in our lifestyle through personal research or guided by the expertise of others?  (Yoga; Therapy; On Line Class; Gathering of Supportive Women; Fitness; Creative Endeavors; Art)We are worth the investment and those around us will prosper through our better balanced living.

***Lisa Eskra Summers
      Live Centered   (Website)

The Art of Remaining Strong

“For in every adult there dwells the child that was,

and in every child there lies the adult that will be."

John Connolly

The Book of Lost Things

The child adapted to her alcoholic family.  She was gregarious around people, frequently over looking her own needs just to please others.  Growing up to be educated and creative, this child - woman singled out an alcoholic as her husband.

The adult adapted again to the alcoholism in her household and presented as a long time suffering woman, but a selfless wife and mother.  She gave beyond a healthy boundary, forgetting her own gifts and talents.  Late in life, her husband became a recovering alcoholic and received endless praise.  The wife, no longer receiving attention as the victim,  grew highly resentful against the positive attention her husband now received.

The bottom line in all relationships is the art of keeping self strong through personal development.  With self-discovery and appreciation, we can then turn to our partner with great strength. The woman both as a child and a woman never honed in on her strengths, thus depending upon negative attention through victim hood.  When we nurture and remain aware of our needs, we will no longer be dependent upon meeting the emotional needs of others, allowing our lovely selves to thrive!

Purpose and Connection

"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and 

ability within you, than you see in yourself, and 

helps bring it out of you."

Bob Proctor

The ability to see the essence of an individual, draws our attention to experience his or her unique quality.  It is an odd feeling to realize the person has no idea of this nugget of pure authenticity.  It becomes a joy to share a path with someone as they process elements of themselves never seen.

There is much to be deciphered from the spirit residing within all peoples.  If we choose to share, to risk vulnerability, and to step past fear, a joined relationship takes long strides into the calling of the spirit.  Self-awareness expands our ability to become less judgmental and more highly aware of positive qualities, of our own and others.

Together, in a healthy process of self-discovery, both mentor and student receive insights as fodder for extended speculation.  The mentor does not create images, he or she fans the passion of the student which is unique.  Trusting and traveling together, both mentor and student excel in learning of life purpose and connection.

Circle of Learning

"I am not a teacher, but an awakener."

Robert Frost

Life experience provides a child to learn from an adult (mentor, guide, teacher or elder). The child grows up realizing the impact the adult made upon his or her essence, and it seems there is no way to 'pay back' the teacher.  This is two fold, however, as 1.) The teacher already received the gift of learning from the relationship with the student and 2.) The student who received heightened insight can 'pass it on' now as the mentor.

What the mentor is projecting is a reflection of what is seen in the student.  The intention is to highlight the strengths through encouragement and embrace difficulty as challenges not mistakes nor failures.  Frequently, as the teacher and student respectfully share this process, both are learning from it.

This is not to minimize the respect one has for either student nor teacher.  In later times, to reach out and acknowledge the gift of discovering authenticity with someone is frequently valuable.  It either completes the circle with restorative memories for both or primes the circle for future forward motion.  

Good To Be Me!

"We numb our minds and heart 

so one need not be broken and

the other need not be bothered."

Peggy Haymes

How much pain does a heart endure while moving through the process called life?  What amount of humiliation does the ego ignore in order to remain inflated? At what point do we become despondent over feeling nothing, nothing at all?

The song THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE by Alicia Keyes is pivotal for a woman who has had enough, who is ready to disperse with disillusion, and gather personal skills, authentic talents, and accountability for one's life.  They lyrics to this song will gently blow on dying dreams until passion is licking with flame.

Wake up to the sound of an inner voice calling to guide the spirit into fullness.  No longer hide the heart as it needs to be open.  The heart is to be open, not numb, to embrace every inch of our being. Let our words ring out, "It is so good to be me!"

Forgiveness Is Not Condoning

"Forgiveness wipes the slate clean,

so that other things can come in."

Louise Hay

Giving in to forgiveness may feel as though we are accepting the inappropriate actions of others.  We resist forgiveness as though we are punishing the person, when in reality, we are hurting our selves.  We have no control over the other.   

To forgive someone, we  can visualize cutting a tangle of thread attached to the memory.  We can just snip the connection and watch it unravel.  We reclaim our energy to be used in more positive areas. 

As long as we are detaining the situation in our emotional attic,  it is taking up space and continues to have power.  Time and energy is still being funneled to that predicament consciously or unconsciously.  Forgive and let go of the memory, making room for something new and joyful to replace it! Forgiveness is for ourselves as much as for the offender. 

Feeling Better For It

"Resolve to be tender with the young,

compassionate with the aged,

sympathetic with the striving,

and tolerant of the weak and the wrong.

Sometime in life

you will have been all of these."

Lloyd Shearer

There are certain things that appear easy to us, but seem to be difficult to others.  We cannot comprehend why a particular person is having such a challenging time with a minor situation.  When we master a task, we unfortunately forget it was once a struggle. 

We can be so focused, we may not have time for a child or patience with an elder; and lack tolerance for the mistakes of others.  We tend to not relate unless we are personally in the immediate situation.  We catch a glimpse of a person's weakness, follow up with judgment, and conveniently not recollect being in the same situation ourselves at a different point in life.

The best intention is to give a smile to all peoples.  We don't have to accept or acknowledge troubles or mishaps nor do we have to be pulled into the drama.  A simple smile carries a great deal of depth with it.  We send the gesture and the recipient receives it, each feeling better for it.