"When I was talking to a teenager today, I asked, 'What makes you most angry with grown ups?' Without hesitation she answered, 'I hate it when my parents say, Don't talk back!' I hate it when they yell at me before I can tell my side of the story. I think I should have a chance to explain things, even when I am wrong."
Women and Stress
Jean Lush with Pam Vredevelt
All of us would probably readily agree about feeling angry when we are disallowed to share our perception. Whether it is a parent, a superior or a boss, it feels very uncomfortable to be squelched. When we take on some one else' anger, we begin to personalize the exchange rather than realizing we are the recipient of anger which is not ours. Feeling attacked, we try to respond in anger.
This works both ways so it is important to listen to another person's opinion whether we agree or disagree. It is a way of honoring a person or showing respect. We are not really responsible to respond at all. Ekhart Tolle would say we could simply reply, "ahh ... " and we would have it all covered.
Often times, just letting the other person vent without interruption leads them to a complete circle where they can become aware of the inappropriateness of their rant. They can then apologize and even share what is truly at the core.
A very successful tactic in resolving issues is asking a person lower in rank or lesser of age what they think of a situation. The gap between is often filled by creative 'out of the box' thinking. Responses may be more original or authentic than our tried and true diplomacy.
Everyone wants to be heard, as well as understood. Even when results end in disagreement, it does the spirit good to know that we have at least been heard. We all have one mouth, and two ears ....
interesting
All of us would probably readily agree about feeling angry when we are disallowed to share our perception. Whether it is a parent, a superior or a boss, it feels very uncomfortable to be squelched. When we take on some one else' anger, we begin to personalize the exchange rather than realizing we are the recipient of anger which is not ours. Feeling attacked, we try to respond in anger.
This works both ways so it is important to listen to another person's opinion whether we agree or disagree. It is a way of honoring a person or showing respect. We are not really responsible to respond at all. Ekhart Tolle would say we could simply reply, "ahh ... " and we would have it all covered.
Often times, just letting the other person vent without interruption leads them to a complete circle where they can become aware of the inappropriateness of their rant. They can then apologize and even share what is truly at the core.
A very successful tactic in resolving issues is asking a person lower in rank or lesser of age what they think of a situation. The gap between is often filled by creative 'out of the box' thinking. Responses may be more original or authentic than our tried and true diplomacy.
Everyone wants to be heard, as well as understood. Even when results end in disagreement, it does the spirit good to know that we have at least been heard. We all have one mouth, and two ears ....
interesting
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