My Sweet Bella

  

"A true friend is never truly gone. Their spirit

lives on in the memories of those who loved them."

Author Unknown

My Sweet Bella was put to sleep two years ago today.  She was rescued from the local shelter one day after her surrender.  Feisty, independent, and scared this underfed Redbone Coonhound with long droopy ears stole my heart.  

The Shelter reported her to be 4 years old, but the vet said she was younger based on her muscles and teeth.  After a handful of one on one training, both she and I knew we'd be forever friends. She was funny in her unique antics and protective of me.  She'd stay in my bed at night until I fell asleep and then she'd run to guard the front door.  

Bella went every where with me, including several trips to Tennessee.  She might have been eleven years old when she was put down.  I curled up on the floor by her side, petting her and thanking her for her loyal friendship as she slipped away.   Even though we said 'good-bye' her presence continues to be felt in my heart and mind.

Substance Named Soul

"How can you know what you are capable of

if you don't embrace the unknown?"

Esmeralda Santiago

The temperature reached the lower 70's so I settled into my rocking chair on the back porch.  It was healing to feel the sun shining down upon my face and my mind comforted by watching the delicate clouds forming in the blue sky.

While listening to the birds, a gentle breeze seemed to blow all of my thoughts away.  This experience was everything like spiritual input encouraged.  Just be still.  Just be without definition, attachment, or chasing rainbows.

Change is etched into every circumstance and nothing lasts forever, but there is a suspended space where one can project his or her story, personality, and life circumstances without involvement.  To sense being a presence within the suit of a human being, one comes to know the invisible substance named soul.

Seeking Victory No More

"We may pass violets looking for roses.

We may pass contentment looking for victory."

Bernard Williams

Violets thicken in the soil, spreading up against the Lilly of the Valley.  The fragrances combined have been with me since childhood.  The Violet is not a symbol for me nor was it celebrated like a Rose.  It simply instills the sense of childhood.

On numerous occasions, I have attempted to grow Violets, but always failed. I could say the same about certain relationships, knowing I tried too hard, and gave too much, rotting roots deep down in the soil.  Although growth was attempted in the bright rays of light, somehow darkness shriveled any growth or delight.

Today on the window sill, I have violets thriving in different colors.  Perhaps I have discovered the perfect light or maybe the roots have discovered fertile soil.  I now live in deep contentment, seeking victory no more.

Withered Library Card

"Who doesn't love a library?  It is a place you can go

in any town and discover the world."

Pat MacEnulty

Some say that the three most important documents are a birth certificate, passport, and library card.  I have had a library card since the early days of elementary school.  Even though my gypsy blood has  required a birth certificate and passport, I have mostly treasured my library card.

The library has been a safe place, demanding focus on authors, and selecting books one has not yet read. Contrary to some beliefs, the library is an exciting place one anticipates visiting.  There is no such thing as dashing in or out, as serious lengths of time are a chosen gift.

Now, libraries are closed and my library card has withered. The library habit has finally been broken, but my love for books remains.  I want to touch the hardback cover, feel the paper as I turn the pages, and use my aging bookmarks.  The good news, of course, is no one has taken my comfy chair and quilt nor have they removed the fireplace! It is a good thing I tend to be a hermit.

 

Reflection of Desire

 

"Emotional pain cannot kill you, 

but running from it can."

Vironika Tugaleva

The political chaos has finally settled down and many feel a tremendous relief ...  in their communities, communications and emotional stability.  Thank goodness we are no longer distracted by the drama with those out going and those coming in invited and not so invited.  

With the slates clean, we can experience our own sense of control. We can go back to avoiding the collective debris gathered over the unspent holidays. A New Year awaits us, but we continue to house concerns of what will unfold. 

We can erase the desire for running away, by holding our lovely selves in place.  Be still.  What is in this very moment that is a true reflection of our desire? Within the 24 hours of a day, what portion is sectioned off for creating a foundation to stand present and accountable? We need to balance the emotional and the physical as we turn to face the new.

Which Way the Wind Blows

 

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but

I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Jimmy Dean

Funny how one can welcome a breeze to be company on a walk, but the wind can blow us totally off course.  It is helpful to have a destination in mind, but unless the wind is at our back, we can be way laid.  And when we are escorted off course, challenges and opportunities begin.

It is often stated that turning points in our lives come not at the celebrated times, but during the difficult dark times.  One can imagine that our true lessons can only be initially perceived in the darkness narrowing our view.

The best mind set might be to know where one has come from and to have an idea of a destined arrival, but the most important information is that which is right before us.  Right here and right now, there is this parcel of knowledge and it is the only truly helpful guide. Compiling layers of wisdom as we proceed in this very moment, might just keep the wind to our back.

Word Finally Hits The Street ...

 

"Have no fear of perfection:

you'll never reach it."

Marie Curie

In Sunday school, one learns about God's perfect children..  For awhile, our ego upholds this idea that the world is joyfully amused by us.  Then a few missteps are taken, and we imagine the wrath of God.  Parents emphasis on bad things we do, sinks us deeper into the desire to hide the self.

I guess it was a blessing that I knew from the get-go that I was imperfect.  There were never praises nor encouragement so it wasn't difficult to accept my imperfection.  Teachers or peers carried on the habit of pointing out the negative not the positive.

The word has finally hit the street that no one, indeed, is perfect.  Our imperfections are what leads us into the role of a human being.  The challenge is to use what we have in creative and satisfying ways ... ways that make us proud to be just as we are.

Displaying Behaviors

"Perhaps, I should just worry about my own

behavior and le other be who they are."

Louise Penny

Author, Louise Penny wrote a series of mysteries unfolding in Quebec and a quaint neighboring village.  With my love for Quebec, she is easily one of my favorite authors.  It is her characters, however, that have maintained my attention.

In the little village of Louise Penny's imagination, she has created diverse characters who somehow band together.  Each character represents differing qualities, opinions, and physical aspects, but remain intwined. They easily become personal friends in spite of faulty aspects of being a human being.

These novels reflect the damage of hard times passing, diversity, and speculation, but this group of friends consistently respect, observe, and learn from each other.  They are filled with simple, yet poignant situations that instill me to always try to do better, be better, and see the best in others. 

Inspector Gamache Book Series  

1. Still Life (#1), 2005
2. A Fatal Grace aka Dead Cold (#2), 2006
3. The Cruelest Month (#3), 2007
4. A Rule Against Murder (#4), 2008
5. The Brutal Telling (#5), 2009
6. Bury Your Dead (#6), 2010
7. The Hangman (#6.5) 2010 (novella)
8. A Trick of the Light (#7), 2011
9. The Beautiful Mystery (#8), 2012
10. How the Light Gets In (#9), 2013
11. The Long Way Home (#10), 2014
12. The Nature of the Beast (#11), 2015
13. A Great Reckoning (#12), 2016
14. Glass Houses (#13), 2017
15. Kingdom of the Blind (#14), 2018
16. A Better Man (#15), 2019
17. All the Devils Are Here (#16), 2020

Once Loved

"Embrace uncertainty.  Some of the most 

beautiful chapters in our lives will 

not have a title until much later."

Bob Goff

'Nothing is etched in stone', or so the saying goes; and my mind automatically sees a cemetery with words engraved on tombstones weathered by time.  The grave marker may tumble and years may take a toll, but there tends to be a portion remaining, marking the life that passed.

And so it is with losses of the heart.  In spite of promises made or vows recited, time tends to abrasively wear down oaths made in stone.  Forgive and forget may eventually soothe the heart, but a tell tale slip of memory resides.

As we evolve through the chapters of our lives, sections aught to remain untitled, as our perspectives change over time.  With passing years, accuracy for detailed words may not be as potent as the sense of presence remembered of one once loved. 

 

The Positive Found in Nothingness ...

 

"Alone, I often fall down into nothingness.  

I push my foot stealthily lest I should fall off 

the edge of the world into nothingness."

Virginia Woolf

When time stops and creates a lag, the space is usually felt as emptiness.  The pause between life and more life can be a lonely time.  We sit quietly, appreciative of our last challenge being put to rest, and we give great thought of what lies hidden waiting in the next expanse of time.

This pause often is deemed as a negative.  We feel disconnected and our ego roars for recognition and yet we long to rest.  Perhaps we feel untethered as we are not presently attached to a challenge or an outcome.  We are suspended between two solid blocks of time in our lives.

Recently, it has come to attention that this pause of nothingness is actually an opportunity for insight, guidance and creativity.  Instead of feeling lonely, we can turn our awareness inside and quietly be mindful of what surfaces.  Be still, the connection will come. One really needs to try.

The Breath

"Energy work is priceless.  It makes every day

extraordinary and transforms the mundane to the holy."

Silvia Hartmann

Diversity needs to follow the words energy work as the realm is huge.  Not only are there numerous techniques for this work, but individual approaches under each title.  We are all capable of sharing energy like mothers calming a child by touch or a rocking motion of a swing or chair.  Our awareness of the energy surrounding us depends upon personal response and touch.

I was not seeking energy work, it kind of bumped into me.  I was immediately drawn to know more about it and traveled every week to pursue it.  My first degrees were completed in the early 1990's, but I have accumulated to the point of excess differing ways to share or extend light energy. It isn't necessarily easy to identify an energy worker, but they are gently painted across a vast canvas touching every aspect of life.  

During this stretch of isolation, energy work has kept my mind, body, and spirit healthy and happy.  I can visualize family and loved ones, covering them with light or I can send light energy out into nature to nurture the trees and birds alike. It can be simple ... sit still and slowly breathe in and out which regulates breathing which is personal energy.

Open to Clarity

"The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince

your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie."

Shannon L. Alder

The discontent eroding our projected security takes a toll.  First we acknowledge the unrest and then admit  the need for change.  As we release the old and prepare to leap into the unknown, fear encourages ego to create blockages.

We have the choice to either play into the drama side stepping progress or we can breathe in calm until peace comes to us through the connection with higher spirits, angels or guides.  Our brain drops memory of pain into our heart, and instead of clutching it, simply acknowledge it ... then let it go.

The road to clarity becomes open with knowledge, beckoning us to higher ground.  We must get out of our own way, step around hovering shadows and clear space for new growth.  If we stand in the present moment with an open heart, we unearth our truths, connect dots of positive affirmation, and begin once again to uplift who we are and what we know.

The Positive Opportunity Within Loneliness

"There's just something obvious about emptiness,

even when you try to convince yourself otherwise."

Sarah Dessen

When we find our lovely selves feeling lonely, it is a sign for opportunity.  The pause in our mind creating a sense of emptiness is a trigger to allow inspiration and creativity to rise to the surface.  To change our perception of isolation from something negative to a an opportunity of positive, action triggers a momentum.

When memories and pain are at bay, and a pause in our thinking presents itself,  we can look within and link our bits of wisdom together to build a new foundation.  The expired padding no longer protecting us falls away uncovering new material for upward strides in understanding.

In seclusion, we begin to the hear the voices of guardians assuring us we are not alone.  We can hear whispers of being loved deeply 'just as we are' in every given moment.  We initiate a new conversation regarding our authentic path, advancing our body, mind and spirits.

Crusader Filled with Peace, Love, and Hope

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr

Martin Luther King, Jr, invoked strength in his speeches and writings, and also expressed a calling to love and be loved.   He was a man to be respected and honored, not feared.  He  believed there was darkness as well as light and sadly aware of hate pushing upon boundaries of peace.

Martin Luther King, Jr, faced fierce winds with a non-faltering stance of non-violence.  The more pronounced he became as a leader,  the growth of opposers deepened.  And is this not true of crusaders proceeding him ... crusaders filled with peace, love, and hope attracting unacceptable violence.

Martin Luther King, Jr, paid a price for presenting himself as humble and respectable.  His endless love enabled him to forgive, but never to give up.  He set an example for multiple generations and equal genders.  He was an admirable human being carrying his light into the thickening darkness.

Unless We Blow It!

"Isn't it funny how we make rational excuses

for being out of alignment?"

Alaric Hutchinson

Our creativity shines when we master the ability to react to pain or suffering with the castings of ego.  We can make excuses, blame others, sink deeper and it is all by choice.  If I can remain positive with myself in spite of the virus, the isolation, and challenges of life, a level of peace can be maintained.

Our journey is not meant to reflect a roller coaster ride, but rather a flowing line of moving forward whether we are faced with pleasure or pain.  The idea is to calm our ego from taking on extremes in either directions.  Remain centered, enjoying or learning from the moment while understanding there is another moment approaching.

We continuously let ourselves off the hook of responsibility by creating drama that only intensifies the immediate situation.  It is like adding fuel to the fire.  If we can imagine a candle with a steady flame, this is what we can reflect.  Yes, a breeze will pass through and the flame will waver, but seldom will it go entirely out ... unless we blow it!

Union with Fellow Human Beings

"What one does is what counts.

Not what one had the intentions of doing."

Pablo Picasso

Numerous times, I have tried to plant pansies and failed.  In Nashville, one sees Pansies quite often around mailboxes or discreetly placed areas in public parking areas.  As it is winter, the blooming flowers catch me off guard and uplift my spirits.

The point being, we may have intentions that do not come to life, but we can still appreciate the intention by discovering it successfully displayed by someone else.  If we have a desire, but do not have the means or gifts or talents to bring it into our life, we can take a step farther and find it from a different viewpoint.

Whether we have intentions to build exceptional structures or prove a scientific theory, we have hidden emotions within us tied to the intentions.  If we do not follow through or fail, we can release or activate this interest by observing the successful outcomes of others.  When we recognize the talent in some one other than our lovely selves, we can continue to feel a level of passion in union with fellow human beings. 

 

This is the Person ...

"Stick with the wrong person long enough and

they'll convince you that your flowers are weeds."

Kierra C.T. Banks

Give me a person with integrity any day, especially if they have an in depth wonderment about life.  If he or she is a truth teller, even better, for it takes courage to not reinvent our struggles or hide our scars. As the billionaire may have financial dynamics and altered facial structure, the common man digs deeply for honesty and values the lessons from loss.

It is the sad person who walks this earth oblivious of the impact made upon others whether for better or worse.  One who does not hold the self accountable will lack the reflection of respect.  It is the person who gives so much when they have so little that light the stars in our dark.

Indeed, it is the wise person who observes significant radiance in both the dandelion and the rose; the sun and the moon; and the living as well as the dead.   He who sees the presence of a soul through  the windows of the eyes will listen attentively with very little advice.  This is the person who will be a presence shinning light in the direction we must go.

 

Keep Going

 

"Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation

to defend yourself or make excuses."

Brian Tracy

Catch the lovely self prior to complaining, as so many others face challenges we cannot really begin to understand.  Do not even begin to explain, as everyone is distracted by their personal worries and difficulties. It is not necessary to even try to defend the self, as no one is truly present nor appropriately listening.   No need for excuses as everything, and I mean everything is blamed on Covid or politics.

Keep going, I tell myself, as the days slowly fade away and I unintentionally slide backwards in my thoughts, acts, and deeds.  Stretch the body to keep a sense of comfortable movement.  Harvest favorite books taking space on the shelf.  If there isn't enough effort for creative activities, at least try to make a collage.  

Push forward, gaining traction beneath the feet to face every day challenges.  Freshen up the heart with starbursts and hugs.  Rekindle any drop of passion, building upon the light needed to see beyond any darkness.  Keep going, as surely goodness waits, straight ahead.

PUSH

"Don't wait for your ship to come in,

swim out to it."

Cathy Hopkins

It is a well known fact that one cannot sit on their laurels, waiting for miracles, dreams, and opportunities to arrive.  It is understood that one must utilize movement to activate change and we need to accompany the change for new outcomes.

I get it. I really do; but, in the current situation of our country, pebbles have become rocks, and definitions have become boulders.  There are not physical boundaries preventing action, but we are stuck with restrained boundaries within our mental debris.

We must be in the stage of labor where one must PUSH for new life to be born.  PUSH, not in the physical definition, but PUSH fresh air to rekindle our passion and drive.  We are all a segment of the new life which requires all of us to gently prepare for what is coming.  We are all capable of configuring how we can join in on the PUSH!

Flight into the Unknown

""...now open your mind by closing your eyes

see the unseen world within you which lies."

Munia Khan

Recently, a friend of mine and her daughter went on an adventure to the "Garden of the Gods" in Southern Illinois.  It is in this very park one realizes the state of Illinois is not entirely flat.  The visitor of this area is overwhelmed by the unforgettable views of varying rock formations, breathtaking landscapes and creatures living in this habitat.  

If we never venture outside of ourselves, we will only be participating in immediate surroundings.  It is when we are bold enough to step outside of the unknown through travel that we expand and become wowed!

This is true of our inside spirit as well.  If we only sit in prayer, never expanding to meditation we will remain limited.  It is when we experience frequencies in energy or visions that our soul begins to soar.  We experience the opportunity to take flight into the unknown.

Images within Images

"I think I can hear the unseen moon."

Alexandra Oliva

Either in seventh or eighth grade, I realized I had been staring at a door frame that contained numerous images in the wooden grain.  I wasn't surprised by the discovery, but I was stricken by how many years I had been doing this, without paying attention.

It wouldn't matter if I were looking at tile on the floor, graphic drapes or rain pooling into puddles, individual shapes would stand out.  Eventually, I began to wonder how much I was absorbing unconsciously and to what degree it was affecting me.

Daphne Du Maurier, author of numerous books, wrote about a gentleman who walked numerous miles, and every time he crossed over the rail road tracks, he entered a different world.  He remained the same in thoughts, but his life was totally different on the other side.  When he walked back, he returned to what he thought of as normal.  It makes me wonder how many times we unknowingly cross over a boundary into a different world, but just never remember it when we return.

Create A Life

"I am creating my life the way

I want it to be."

Shakti Gawain

We may feel like a victim at times, as though life happens to us; but, we have choices even though they are not necessarily easy.  It takes gumption to say,  "No, no more of this."  It is difficult to release what we know for what is unknown.  We endure depths of pain before we are extracted into a new scenario.  

When we step back from what we have engulfed, we begin to see options.  They may not be wonderful, but in time they may lead to the best life ever.  It is taking the steps forward, projecting our thoughts in a new way, that we begin to create anew.

If one is not inspired by life, a different choice can be made, but it will cost us .... our comfort zone.  It sounds crazy, but no matter how miserable we happen to be, it is what we know and it holds us in place.  When we take a new initiative in our life, we are no longer the victim.  We feel empowered and drawn forward to create the way we want our life to be. 

 

Sense of Worthiness

"Sometimes the only way to ever find yourself

is to get completely lost..

Kellie Elmore

When we can identify what is in our heart's desire, we can rekindle the flame until we safely burn brightly.  At this pivotal stage, we appraise where we can do our best as we are using our skills and knowledge.  If we are simply seekers in life, we may follow the incorrect paths until our sense of being is completely lost.

What we are taught is the exact opposite.  We are groomed to learn trades or knowledge that will meet what our community, state or world needs.  In doing this, we bury our natural abilities and lower our sense of worthiness.

If we can truly know our inner strengths or what we do that brings us joy, we can carry ourselves out into the world, learning where we might best fit.  We are always growing in one respect or another, but it is far more beneficial to enhance the opportunity with our skills rather than redesigning our nature to fit a need. When our work and desires are aligned, we have the authentic experience of celebrating the true meaning of life.

Time Table

 

"Accept yourself, love yourself and keep moving forward."

Roy T Bennett

From birth, we begin to perform for others, to please them in hopes of securing safety, physical needs, and being loved.  For years, this pattern prevails as authenticity sinks deeper into hiding places within our being.  Somewhere along the way, we are teased by thoughts of duality.  We pour effort into being one person on the inner and one on the outside.

There is a time table for each one of us to follow.  How far we get propelled depends upon how closely we listen to what resonates in our hearts.  Eventually, we care less about the outer world and become more curious about our inner spirit.

After many challenges, we nurture our sense of self.  We begin to make different choices to support our desires rather than the expectations of others.  Our lessons fine tune us and supply us with tools to perpetuate our movement forward.  In this process, we learn to respect, honor, and love our core being. we choose to go with the flow offering our best to the world.

Never Ending Relationship

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Mitch Albom

Death has taken friends away as well as my beloved pet, Bella.  We cannot replace these special ones, so we can choose to celebrate them in their absence.  We can continue to talk to our pets, even though they are really not there.  We are blessed if we can still feel their presence.  The same is true with loved ones.  We can recall their sense of self and what it meant to us.

When we relive memories, we can rediscover the joy or sadness that bound friendship so tightly.  We can laugh out loud or shed a tear while being thankful for having had the opportunity of knowing them.  Simply call to mind their face or laughter or create a symbol for what you shared.

Nothing will ever replace a true friend, but honoring them will keep them alive in this world.  We can share his or her story in our journal or speak respectfully of them in conversation.  When a human being crosses over, they still exist, just in another form.  In some way, their spirit stays alive for as long as we remember them. And so it is...

In the Absence of Friends

"When someone loves you, the way they talk

about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable."

Jess C. Scott

When we hear the voice of a loved one, our bodies relax and we are soothed by the familiarity of the tone of their speech. When we experience this connection, the boundaries tend to fall away from us and our guards are let down.

When we do not hear the voices of loved ones and we are surrounded by silence, it is more difficult to keep our self concept crisp and colorful.  When our friends are not mirroring our image back towards us and we are not nurtured by other's kind remarks, we begin to waffle.

There is nothing more comfortable than the presence of a dear friend.  There is no pressure to project who we are and what we believe in.  We are already accepted, loved, and sincerely appreciated.  We embrace questions as we realize it is just for updating our preferences or what we have learned since last together.  In the absence of friends, we can place our hand over our heart and whisper to our absent friend ... "I love you and miss you, be well."

Remaining Awake

 

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy

conscience: this is the ideal life."

Mark Twain

Remember in grade school when Wednesday finally arrived, and the count down to Friday began.  Remember in high school when plans for the weekend were always priority?  In college, the definition of time stretched into different meanings.

In retirement, time really appears as an illusion.  Not writing dated materials or securing meetings on a calendar, it is easy to forget what day it is let alone the week. Time stretches, elongates, and shrivels like a dandelion prepared to die.  It is so elastic one learns to just ride the waves and let go of any sense of contol.

Now with the COVID, life couldn't be any slower or we would just stop in place.  It is in this slower version of living that one becomes attached to the birds at the feeder, ice lingering on a branch, or the elegance of the sun dipping down into the edge of the earth. It is in this space of nothingness that so much can be seen. There really are teachers surrounding us if we remain awake.

Just Out of Sight

 

"Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star."

Josh Groban

Lofty can be the mind, supporting an imagination to fill in the gaps of loss, distance, and closure. There are no limits to what one can do once a spin is placed upon the ordinary.  Whether we are missing our best of friends, favorite pub or hiking trail in nature, we can create a sense of joy to soften the sadness of this distancing. 

Our bodies miss the sense of touch as well as the lack of random fragrances or quirky coincidences that once made us laugh out loud.  Materialistically, there is less surrounding us to delight in, but this definitely does not mean we live in a void.  

Look up! Can the stars distract us or the animated shapes of floating clouds?  How about the peace one feels as the birds eat at the feeder?  Each time my four year old grandson tells me he loves me, I put my hand over my heart and smile.  He boldly laughs saying, "I just made your heart smile!" Let life be that easy! Embrace the simple elegance modestly hanging just outside of sight.

Discover the Pocket of Peace

"Always try to keep a patch 

of sky above your life."

Marcel Proust

Every one benefits from having a safe place.  It can be located in the mind, the heart or in sleep.  Wrapped in a favorite blanket with a special tea can bring more calm than one hoped for.  The warm soak in a tub of soothing salts can readjust the mood.  A friend stands on the bare ground with naked feet to reconnect. 

Since childhood, my safe place has been the sky.  Whether I'd be in trouble, out of sorts or just lonely, I would lie down on my back in the grass and seek solace in the sky.  This space above us is constantly changing, but it is infinitely dependable and easily available.

We need to discover one solid thing for lifting the spirit.  Whether it is a great grandmother's ring or a favorite piece of music, our level of joy can be instant.  A deep breath outdoors or a favorite meditation one can easily drop into, just choose something.  Look around and discover a pocket of peace just waiting to be found.

 

Kindness in the Midst of Chaos

 

"The inner life of any great thing will be

incomprehensible to me until I develop

and deepen an inner life of my own."

Parker J. Palmer

Early mentors shared visions with me that were challenging to foresee, and yet I wanted  to believe in dreams of peace, joy, and love.  After I found kindred spirits, however, I was able to share and experience on a deeper level.  Years later, I kindled my inner light which still reflects darkness; but, I am better prepared to stay in the moment and just observe.

When I glance through my old journals, it is obvious how I gravitated towards goals that only postponed my greater understanding.  I am amused at the multitude of roadblocks set up before me, gently guiding me back onto my path.  As for my patient teachers, I remain deeply grateful.

In these later years, my foundation is secured with my passion for Reiki.  It is a tool allowing me to send love, light, and energy out into the world, into individual hearts, and as comfort to those close to me.  It is so non-invasive with no time component and no return address.  It enables me to feel kind, extend kindness, and hold me in a sacred space in the midst of chaos.

Future Not Guaranteed

 

"Live this day as though it were your last.

The past is over and gone.

The future is not guaranteed."

Wayne Dyer

With uncertainty, we face a new year.  Unlike other years, one cannot be driven to be physically out in the world arranging new routines.  Many of us will be standing in place, curtailed by regulations to preserve our health.

We can write, draw or envision how to be strong in the forthcoming unknown.  We can use time to strengthen our abilities or resources.  We, unselfishly, can be our New Year's project.  We can explore ways of improving relationships with the self and others and still remaining in the present.

We are the present in this time and space.  We are called to fully disclose both pain and joy stored in our vaults of memory.  It is time to knowingly discard heaviness which keeps us unbalanced.  To be centered, there is a need of being in the here and now.  Focus on the good that has come into life and change the story of angst.  Each of us houses a sacredness as we have been made by God.