Constant Pruning

"It was like any relationship ... it took constant pruning,

and dedication, and vigilance, and if neither party wanted

to make the effort, why wouldn't it wither?"

Hanya Yanagihara

If we experience estrangement with family or friends, we feel an element of shame or guilt.  We may have concern that we will be judged by others and we apply critical judgment to our lovely selves.  Estrangements can occur over a long period of time, just drifting away by life changes.  Other estrangements can be abrupt and accompanied by emotional anguish.

If time has been the greater divider, there is the possibility of sending a card with a simple message just to reach out.  It doesn't have to be lengthy or apologetic.  The card offers the opportunity for reconnection.  By taking this action, we have moved heavy thoughts out of our bodies.

Family relationships tend to run far deeper generating great pain for years.  There is a heaviness within as we believe either we were at fault or falsely accused.  We may feel shame for the distance that has grown unsurmountable.  If this is the case, we must find a release to accept reality.  We can share our hidden darkness with a trusted friend; engage in counseling;  or find a special way to give the situation a respectful ending. One can float flowers on a small pond; write a heart felt letter never intended to be mailed; meditate in nature or a chapel sending sincere prayers for the healing of the situation.  Allow this gesture to remove the darkness and put an ending to repetitious negative thoughts  Let this be the final good bye.