Best Gift of the Season

"To really listen you come to the exchange

from a viewpoint of curiosity,

not judgment."

Sharon Salzburg

Story tellers become quite vocal during the holidays and our listening skills begin to decline as well as our patience.  We may have heard the lengthy joke every year and the history a relative spins is filled with errors.  We have options.  We can excuse ourselves from the table, we can zone out into our 'to do' list or we can allow our tempers to begin to simmer.  Protesting arguments build within ourselves.

Passive listening is reigning in personal opinion and pre-established conclusions.  (Active listening is participatory, joining into the conversation and contributing or extending.) Especially with elders or little ones, passive listening is an important tool.  We disengage from ourselves and play the role of an audience member.  No reply is necessary, no problem solving and definitely no judgment.  

Most people simply want to be heard.  They long to tell a story that nurtures his or her personal emotions.  It is an opportunity to relive a glorious reunion or a tragic ending.  When we open our hearts, curiosity leads us into learning.  We might hear the information in a new way that allows us a glimpse of a person's life. By freely expressing repressed or stored feelings an individual can experience a gift of healing.  Our gesture of honest listening may be the best gift of the season.