The Listener and The Speaker

"The most important thing in communication is hearing

what isn't being said.  The art of reading between the lines

is a life long quest of the wise."

Shannon L. Adler

Conversations can be like playing dodge ball.  You kick a subject or a ball over to the other person, and in return they kick an entirely different subject or ball back to you.  This of course is a distraction from your train of thought and the other person's attempt to control the conversation.

Well intentioned, we ask a person how they are doing and they reply with information about a new car they just saw.  This is a coping skill to maintain a wall between what they are experiencing internally or emotionally and avoiding personal information.

When we are aware of these superficial conversations, we usually can sense the emotional level of the speaker regardless of the words not being spoken.  To protect themselves, eye contact is deliberately avoided, arms are crossed over the chest,  and endless questions will be volleyed in your direction so attention will be taken off of them.  All of this informs the listener to back off as the speaker is not yet prepared to face whatever is going on.  Respect this and hold them in prayer or light.