Seeking The Good

"When you put the other person's welfare foremost every day, no matter how strong the opposing tide inside, you discover after a while that you can love a little more today than you did yesterday."  Eknath Easwaran 

Unkind years of experience may encourage our desire to never be hurt again. We strengthen our armor, hide behind barriers, and keep our cards close to our chests.   This approach may lower our risk of exposure, but ultimately, it blocks out reward along with challenge.

After numerous experiences of having our heart wounded, indeed, we do need to set boundaries. When we block ourselves completely out, however, we may be successful in decreasing elements of pain, but we are also preventing joy.  The pain we will continue to experience will be caused by isolation, the lack of human compassion, and support.

When we are being challenged in relationship, we monitor a person's behavior: words carelessly spoken, selfish action, and evidence of human flaws.  This of course adds to our resentment and it distances us farther.  We do not take into consideration, the person we are monitoring may well be aware of our actions and is simply reacting in his or her own fear.

We gain more ground if we extend understanding to the person we judge.  There is no need to tolerate abuse of any kind, but when we  can feel compassion for a person, our love deepens.  The other person may feel more secure by a response of love, and therefore, change his or her behavior as well.  

If we use our energy through the eyes of love rather than squinting through the eyes of selective choice, we can remain a loving person.  Our personal action of responding with love increases our ability to remain balanced rather than sucked down into drama.  

Our hearts continue to crack open, yes, but we also become stronger once we overcome our resistance to withdraw.  With healthy boundaries, we can navigate through life seeking the good in people with love growing deeper with each and every passing day.