Haunting Sense

"If you're not haunted by something,

as by a dream, a vision, or a memory,

which are involuntary,

you're not interested or even involved."

Jack Kerouac

Book of Sketches

There are dirty dishes in the sink waiting to be washed and laundry wrinkling in the dryer.  The vacuum sits in the middle of the hallway as I search for the dust cloth and spray.  While my body moves in automatic animation, my mind becomes alert to some element of distraction.  

Confused, I tell myself to stay on task, but with each movement, there is an atmosphere building around me filled with emotion.  As I work, I listen for noises, but hear nothing.  I stop what I am doing and check the locks on the doors.  I laugh out loud at the extent I go to simply postpone my chores.

As I continue to deal with housework, I grow even more aware of tension growing within me.  Intuition kicks into high gear as I try to identify what I am exactly sensing.  Then I realize it is not what, but whom?  There is a presence, but one that is not fearful.

It does not take me long to recognize his energy, even though he has passed over numerous years ago.  I do not have to physically see him to know he is with me.  I don't catch a whiff of his old cologne nor do I hear his amazing voice, but,  I do feel his big brown eyes scanning over me.  

In confusion, I stop what I am doing.  My heightened senses strain to gather every sound and noise, but it is clear, at least to me, he is not in  human form.  He is simply visiting my heart and mind, this old companion of mine and he means me no harm.  Just those sad brown eyes searching all over me to be assured I am okay.  

Quietly inside my heart, I thank him for all of the joy he brought to my family, all of the fun and laughter.  I ask his forgiveness for any pain I had caused him deliberately or innocently.  My eyes fill with tears as I slowly realize his presence is once again gone.