Into My Bones

"When you can smile at fear, there's a shift;

what you usually try to escape from

becomes a vehicle for awakening."

Pema Chodron

November has arrived with full movement of harvest.  Plants have shed their flowers, and the beautiful leaves are in departure from the trees.  Fall is my most favorite season, but this year, I am not drawn to the gathering of the harvest as much as the completion of the season.

As the brilliant colors fade from our landscapes, the cold winds dance in the fields as winter draws near.  Our day of light ends earlier and night falls upon us prematurely.  Time used once for walking, running errands or just being outdoors turns into darkness recoiling us into the warmth of our home.  

Autumn has brought a sense of melancholy to me in spite of its brilliant decor.  It has been challenging for me to shake this chilling sadness.  It is not fear, but more of a foreboding that I am unable to put into words.  I have held steadfast, and do not feel as though I am facing fear.  I anticipate some shift presently unknown, but my patience, indeed, is growing thin.  

Pumpkins have been taken from their vines; colorful birds have flown south; and trees are almost bare.  All around me, things seem to be ending, reflecting a need to let go.  Just how does one let go of  this loneliness that seeps into my bones?