These Were My Desires

 

"Unfulfilled desires are dangerous forces."

Sarah Tarleton Colvin

 

 

Self discovery is an ancient quest and also a never ending one.  Granted, it is sometimes interrupted by life or deliberate diversions, but when we once again turn our selves inwards, the authentic self is waiting to be explored.

 

As my mind drifted back in time this beautiful spring day, I recalled the attitude of my parents when they sent my older sister off t college.  There were thorough discussions about what she wanted to study and how to orchestrate four years of curriculum. 

 

Then my mind wandered back to when I was accepted at the college of my choice.  My parents as well as friends of theirs made comments about my going to college, meeting my perspective husband and discontinuing my education.  They wagered on my time in college as being a one or at the most two year stint.   Their were no conversations about what to study or what to do with my education after four years.  Expectations of me were very slim.

 

I did graduate from college with a double major in psychology and sociology.  I used this education in a very significant career as well as honing parenting skills.  My achievements were far greater than what was expected of me.  I felt good about earning my degree.

 

I cannot help but wonder however, how my life would have unfolded had I listened to my peers and kept my agenda narrowly focused.  I can see through hind sight how badly my self-esteem would have suffered had I not received the proper training for a specific field.  I would not have been able to secure a position such as I did where I could daily help children, women, and individuals to the extent that I was then able.  I would not have been able to secure an acceptable income for my own children.

 

The key of course is doing what you love.  I followed my heart and absorbed everything available to me as I was curious and always wanted to learn just a little bit more.  In honesty, I was driven to understand myself just as much as I yearned to untangle the lives of others.  These were my desires.