The Incidental Moments

"There seemed to be some heavenly support beneath his shoulder blades that lifted his feet from the ground in ecstatic suspension, as if he secretly enjoyed the ability to fly but was walking as a compromise to convention." Zelda Fitzgerald Wife of American short story writer Fr. Scott Fitzgerald People we come in contact with every day can become the backdrop to our life.  Any individual can just fade into our surroundings and we grow accustomed to their presence.  It is a different experience, however, when we take notice of each and every person we pass. Everyone appreciates recognition or any sign of appreciation for the seemingly small part they play in the grand scheme of life.  Any acknowledgement affirms their place especially when it is extended with kindness. We often think of ourselves as invisible, feeling that no one notices our coming or our goings, but this is rarely true.  It is more likely that people have noticed, but neglected to express their thanksgiving or gratitude.  When we recognize any person in our life, we create magic within the incidental moment. There is a small coffee shop I haunt quite often.   Different people work the counter, manage or stock the bakery cases.  One day there was an incidental moment I decided to acknowledge the kindheartedness of one of the employees in front of two customers.  I impulsively offered comments about this young man who was always so thoughtful and caring.  The customers beamed, the young man beamed, and then they explained.  The two customers just happened to be his visiting parents.  Proud all around.  An incidental moment became magical as we all laughed and introduced ourselves.  From that day forward, this young man always exchanged pleasantries adding light hearted humor to my otherwise ordinary day. As life is filled with change, this young man has moved on.  The likelihood of seeing him again is not very great.  So I am thankful I had let him know how much I appreciated his workmanship as well as his friendliness.   Often, we think of doing this after the fact, after the person has moved along and it is too late to be gracious.  We grocery shop every Wednesday morning at the same store.  In doing so we become familiar with the workers and the environment feels more personal.  We take incidental moments and bring life into them through slight recognition or gratitude.  One day I said to the butcher who had so patiently helped us, "I am so glad you were here today! Thank you for helping us."  He looked at me like ... what's the catch ... but after a moment, he broke into a smile and gave us a hearty thanks.  He is now always friendly and shares suggestions or small jokes.   In this same grocery store, there is a man who bags groceries.  He always looks so serious and unfriendly.  One day however, I started talking to him and his entire face became animated.  We look for him every visit as he contibutes very original exchanges.  In these  incidental moments with him, the warmth of his eyes flood my heart with a magical buzz. When we think of strangers we pass every day ... walking down the street, on the buss, in our building, or sitting beside us at meetings ... we come to realize they are only strangers as we have not used a silent nod or a small smile for acknowledgement.  Any simple recognition helps to turn incidental moments into a kinder world.