Saturday, September 22, 2012

Once Called Home





The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.  I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody.  I just wanted to slip out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.

Elizabeth Gilbert
Eat, Pray, Love


A month ago, I sat on my daughter's back patio.  There were so many memories of this dwelling place, but now she was moving on to create a new space to call home.  New opportunities were waiting, and life always continues on.

From the lovely windows in her back den, I had watched snow fall, spring flowers bloom, wisteria stretch its arms over the picket fence, and fall leaves gently float to the outer back yard.  I watched her Golden Retriever blend into the fall background, and then come prancing when I called her name, "Hannah".  The Tuxedo cat, Trudy, was always lingering by the windows observing Hannah's every move. 

As I sat for the last time on this patio, I recalled happy times here of celebration with gathered friends; birthday party bubbles and sparklers for when my girl turned 30; hours of leisure reading and endless notes in a journal;  and worried times when the future was shifting and changing for both of us. 

While rocking in my white wicker rocker, I knew that life always continues whether we are ready or not.  Decisions that seem so resolute untangle into a free fall and the only firm grasp is faith in Spirit.

My gaze moved upwards towards the sky and I noticed the yellow finch flying near to say good-bye.  It seemed to make my farewell complete.






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