Sweet and Tart

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind. 

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Today is a lovely day by the water.  The lull of the waves, the peace of the gentle breeze, and the sun shining upon my face settle me into my lazy chair.  My toes dig deeply into the warmth of the sand while my eyes gently close in reverie.

It is then that I see you, my friend.  You are sitting on your porch waiting, just waiting for me to pass by.  We happily embrace and eagerly I sink into the waiting chair.  You have made lemonade for us, sweet and tart, just like life can sometimes be.

We sit and chat, laughing at the really big things and crying over some of the little niggling things.  We gently clasp hands, exchanging the 'knowing' that we each share, that our friendship will always endure, and that we will be connected forever more.

Time has passed oh too quickly and it is time I am back on my way.  We hug yet again, promising soon, so soon we will be together again to open our hearts, to share life's burdens, and to chase the darkness away. 

The seagull calls to me and I gently open my eyes.  The tide has rolled in and the waves are inches from my edge.  The sun is now resting behind a cloud, and the breeze blows my day dream away. 

A Friend Indeed

 

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.  The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward.  When we are listened to, it creates us, make us unfold and expand.

 

Shel Silverstein

 

 

Attending a spiritual gathering, I found myself racing through the parking lot.  On my way,  I noticed a license plate that I was certain I had seen in my neighborhood.  I walk most every day, taking in the birds, flower beds, trees, homes and license plates on cars.

 

Upon entering the building, I started asking several of my friends about who owned the car with this particular license plate.  As soon as the woman was pointed out to me, I knew we had never met. 

 

After the gathering, I approached this woman and introduced myself.  Our brief exchange was enough to determine that we had an instant connection.  We ended up car pooling a few times, then coffee, and then lunch meetings.  We discovered we had numerous friends in common and quickly became friends.

 

A few years have passed now and this woman easily has become a 'sister of my heart'.  Although she would sometimes say I am the teacher, she needs to remember that the teacher frequently becomes the student.  I have learned about her compassion, resilience, and desire to extend loving kindness to others.  She does not really realize how she is frequently pulled into situations where she becomes an angel in disguise.  She is more than willing to allow Spirit to use her in helping others above and beyond the expected. 

 

Life continues to challenge her, but optimistic she remains.  She is mindful to replenish her spirit so she can continue to generously give to unsuspecting souls.  Opportunities present themselves to her regularly allowing others to share their story as she is a wonderful listener.  She offers compassion without any trace of judgment or expectation in return.

 

Her friendship has been a gift to me and I treasure her presence in my life.  Our special relationship continues to expand and unfold as we lovingly open our hearts and souls.

 

 

 

 

Avoiding the Void ...

Through silence,

solitary practice,

and simple living,

we begin to

fill the empty

reservoir.

David A. Cooper

It is part of the human experience to feel a void inside.  I have read that the void first comes to our attention when we begin to separate from the idenity of our parents, realizing that we are not just an extention of them.  So if we are not them, exactly who are we?  We begin to explore many avenues ... sports, creative expression ... vying for attention in various ways.

We are all very unique even though we have so many similarities.  We attempt to meet our needs differently, and not always successfully.  Over time, we stuff our void with endless activities appropriate and unappropriate ... all a part of the learning curve.  We wear different hats, slip into other people's shoes, and search outside of our selves ... if only we could fill the void.

The void can be called a yearning or loneliness.  It can be called depression or anxiety.  Although not a human form, it sometimes sleeps only to come roaring awake demanding to be fed.  The last place we think to look for solution is deeply inside.

Once we begin the journey within, we create an awareness that helps us tune in to the light and dark residing inside.  We seem to start out carrying a small candle, but our light grows along the way enabling us to see more and more of who we are and who we are meant to be.  Sometimes it takes a blow torch to reach into the darkest parts of our selves, but the rewards of forgiveness and letting go of the past lightens our weary soul.

There is a little book quite old by now entitled, "THE HOUND OF HEAVEN".  The story reflects how we run from our true connections with the Divine.  We search for meaning in all of the unfulfilled places before we finally surrender to who we are spiritually.  We cannot avoid the void forever.

It all begins with cleansing the void and then proceeding gently gathering qualities true to our nature.  By being in the present moment, growing comfortable in the stillness, and remaining mindful we finally fill our void with self-love, self-respect, self-forgiveness and engagement with the Divine.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

 There is in every true woman's heart

a spark of heavenly fire,

which lies dormant

in the broad daylight of prosperity;

but which kindles up, and beams and blazes

in the dark hour of adversity.

Washington Irving

THE SKETCH BOOK, 1820

My thoughts grow conflicted when I ponder words of judgment like good, bad, and ugly.  I have known people who have portrayed themselves as good, but who have fallen far from the mark.  I have never really thought of people as being bad, but have known those displaying very demented behaviors.  And as for ugly, isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?

There have been some things I once considered good for me, but now with science's advanced research I realize they are bad for me.   There are some actions I once thought were bad, like not attending church, but I definitely no longer hold that to the extreme.  There are objects that I once found to be ugly, but they have grown on me as my tastes have changed.

The basic nature of man is goodness, but through bad choices, he can appear to be ugly.  With so many varying factors, how in the world can I align my thoughts and make a decision!  Perhaps this is the point.  In many cases I will never know the truth of the matter and so I will never be able to decide.  More to the point, perhaps one never needs to decide on matters he or she knows nothing about.

So I don't sit in judgment.  I listen and watch, and I may assess and process, but I do not become rigid in my conclusions.  To form rigid judgments is just being opinionated.  It is good to have an opinion if you can leave your mind open for other consideration.  Many people have used the saying, "The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open!"

Do not misunderstand.  I do have passions of the heart, mind, and soul.  I will hold my tongue respecting others right to voice until I am disrespected my self.  Then my spiritual light ignites and hardily beams and blazes.  I will say my truth with clarity and dignity holding an open heart with compassion for others ... hopefully tempering the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Taking Pause ...

When we find our rhythm of compassion we have come home, we are in a state of grace.  We are in tune with a great universal cadence where a rich inner life is exquisitely balanced with a passionate engagement with the world.   Gail Straub


The basic definition for the word compassion is 'the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others and the active desire to alleviate it'.   As in all situations, we must have balance or be well grounded before we can truly help others.  If we become what is termed a 'bleeding heart' we may become stuck in the misery and misfortune of others.  We can easily become an enabler.  So we begin with having strong boundaries and a sense of realistic expectations. 

We need awareness or the ability to pay attention to the events and situations surrounding us or in a broader sense, other countries or cultures.  If we have a sympathetic consciousness we are easily motivated to create change for the good. 

Compassion is an interconnection or element of humanism.  It is a component of love and reflected in the GOLDEN RULE:  Do Unto Others What You Would Have Them Do To You.  The act of compassion can be as narrow or as broad as we want to make it.

Compassion is emotional in nature reflecting our depth or vigour or passion.  It can be triggered by music, art, nature, animals, people or life itself.  We experience compassion in different ways at differing times by either expanding or contracting our feelings.

In reading about compassion, we may have brought personal experience to mind.  Perhaps we recalled random acts of kindness or a particular passion for a cause.  I wonder, however, if we even once considered compassion in relationship to our inner selves.

We need to be as compassionate on the inside just as much as on the outside.  To do this, we must become still in the moment asking our selves what is going on inside of us.  Are we in despair and repair or joyful and peaceful?  Are we focusing on the blessings in life?  Is our body riddled with stress and fatigue?  Do we feel connected to a greater source, the world around us, family, or close friends?  Are we loving and forgiving with our selves?

Taking pause, we can allow awareness of our own well being.  If we offer compassion to our selves, we will more appropriately extend it to others.  Can we engage with our selves as generously as we interact with others? 

Try it, you'll like it!

Thorn on the Rose

But he who dares not grasp the thorn

Should never crave the rose.

Anne Bronte

Gathered with like minded friends, conversation turned to the ability to predict the future, to sense illness, or to commune with spirits.   We have all experienced times when we wished we knew what awaited us around the corner or what was causing our discomfort or what information a spirit might impart.  Ah, to have the ability to know what is unseen!

What we don't always consider, however, is the thorn on the rose.  Although it would be entertaining from time to time to tap into a source for answers, it is not so entertaining to be flooded with unwelcome information about others.  

Imagine, if you had the ability to 'see' or 'hear' or 'know' what others did not, a grave responsibility befalls you.  To experience the fears or depression another person carries is not so pleasant.  To be aware of an illness that is not yet diagnosed is a terrible burden.  The prick of the thorn may be stronger than the fragrance of the flower.

There are those who are truly gifted with abilities to see more deeply than others.  They must carry a protective aura around them, however, to ward off being overwhelmed by information.  In time, these individuals learn to block unwelcome information and are able to access it only upon will.  Integrity and responsibility balanced with detachment and discernment can be an on going challenge.

A rose is a lovely gift, fragrant and vibrant.   Although cherished by many, it is wise to be mindful of the prick of the thorn.

Cultivate a Sense of Worthiness

The appearance of things change according to the emotions,

and thus we see magic and beauty in them,

while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.

Kahlil Gibran

Lebanese Poet and Philosopher

We are all resilient creatures entitled to a life of abundance, creative expression, and good health.  Born into this physical world, we bring unique gifts and talents to be used in carving our imprint upon our own life and the lives of others. 

We are not meant to be the same nor are we meant to be ruthlessly competitive.  In the truest sense of living, we are meant to compliment, encourage and inspire each other.  At times, we are also called to challenge, but never conquer.  Sometimes we are the teacher and often times, the teacher becomes the student.

If the only person we can truly change is our self, we must continue to go within, discovering our connection with Divine Spirit.  Through prayer, meditation or contemplation, we tap into wisdom, insight, and inspiration which encourages personal empowerment ... not a physical power over others, but the essence and the importance of the spiritual abilities we each possess. 

If we do not cultivate a sense of worthiness, we will never be able to make the change we most want to see.  We will continue to have a yearning and a sense of unfulfillment no matter what material accomplishments we achieve. 

By achieving the sense of self-worth, we can slow down and become aware of the beauty we each behold.  Instead of being threatened, we can celebrate the differences between us.  If we open our hearts with compassion, attempt to understand differences between us, and join our efforts towards common goals, our world will be a source of comfort.  Love becomes the bond holding us together.

Remember to use Tools

Tell me, and I'll forget.

Show me, and I may not remember.

Involve me, and I'll understand.

Native American Saying

There are so many tools in life.  As we grow up we learn acceptable behavior and unfortunately, we are not taught how to handle the emotions that we stuff down inside of our selves.  Rules of the Road, tools of the trade, Robert's Rules of Order, and life skills, but seldom do we learn how to navigate through our emotional landscapes.

In some ways, life itself teaches us how to cope and we also meet mentors along the way.  Perhaps through reading or creative expression or spiritual practice we also learn how to process our experiences.

As life draws on, we have gathered several tools to help us in daily living and in challenge or crisis.  The trick, however, is to remember to call forth our tools.  We need to be conscious of the necessity to apply what we know rather than collapse into old behaviors that no longer serve us.

We are not responsible for other people's behaviors.  If someone chooses to scream and yell at us, it is his or her choice to react in such a manner.  We do not have to condone inappropriate behavior.

If we have erred in our work or responsibilities, we have made a mistake not become a failure.  Apologize and sincerely respond with intention for correction.  When the intensity of the moment has passed, we must use our voice by calmly stating we expect to be treated professionally.

When loved ones have had a bad day they are entitled to feel whatever they feel, but are not entitled to come home and take it out on us.  Making healthy statements can help both individuals involved, such as: "I can see that you are very upset.  Why don't you take a few minutes to sort your feelings out, and then we can talk when you are not so upset." 

Encourage the person to journal, take a walk or run, wash the day off in the shower or take some alone time in the garden or listen to favorite music.  If you can objectively listen to your loved one without being pulled into the drama, then it is fine to be a sounding board.  If, however, you find your self cowering with hurt feelings, better boundaries need to be created.

People who respond to us poorly are usually doing so based on situations that have nothing to do with us.  Sometimes just kindly acknowledging the frustration can clear the air.  For example, if we are in a restaurant and the wait staff is acting like it is our fault they have to be working, a comment can be made ... "Sounds like you are really having a bad day!"  If said with sincerity, the person will usually respond with an apology and shift into a more appropriate mode of service.  If we call some one and he or she answers very gruffly, common sense tells us to politely offer, "You sound like you are really busy.  Why don't I call back later?"  Often times, this brings attention to the rude exchange and the person becomes willing to help right there and then.

It serves no purpose to respond in a negative way, as this just adds to the building energy.  Respond in kindness but do not become the 'dumping ground' for some one else's anger.  Listening to a friend is different, but some times even with a friend we must use the tools we know.  "Sounds like you really have a problem.  Let me know how it comes out."

Being a sounding board is quite different from being some one's punching bag.  We must create strong boundaries while having compassion.  If we don't respect our selves, why should any one else?

We are all capable of being rude or inappropriate given the right or wrong circumstances.  As soon as we realize we have acted poorly, it is very important for all involved to apologize as soon as you can.  Send a quick e-mail, text, card or phone call.  We don't have to grovel, but if we don't make the gesture of kindness, a space begins to grow between the involved parties. 

If we cannot return to the situation for whatever reason, we can remember what we are capable of and endeavor to not do so again.  If we remember our own behaviors, it is helpful in understanding the actions of others.  People are frequently reflections of our selves.

Holding Light

We are each gifted in a unique and important way.

It is our privilege and our adventure

to discover our own special light.

Evelyn Dunbar

It is my desire to not only work in the light but to be light itself.  As an energy worker, I work with light on a daily basis.  For me, light is filled with Divine Spirit and energy.  We are all made of energy so working with light is enhancing energy that already exists.

I believe in Oneness, we are all one in the same.  What I do to you, impacts my self.  What you extend to me, returns to you. I strive to respect energy found in all things living or not.  If you do not understand this theory, pick up a rock that has been sitting in the sun.  Feel the warmth and the energy spread into the palm of your hand.  The rock holds energy.  Sit in the presence of a full moon and as you gaze upon it, you will feel the moon's energy.

I hold light in my body in a meditative state.  I send light to other people, bathe them in light, and hold them in light.  Any light I send out into the world helps to create more light.  Yes, there is darkness, but light can be brought into the darkness.  

I try to be a person who walks around discovering the light in others.  We all have different energy levels and frequencies.  To experience energy in others can be very powerful.  I easily sense both positive and negative energies.  It is quite similar to knowing if someone is in a good mood or bad mood ... you sense it.  Our energy puts out a vibration that impacts everything surrounding us. 

Light or energy is a form of Spirit and extending it non-verbally to others can be compared to offering a blessing, like "Peace be with you".   I am not going to be found wandering around the grocery store muttering blessings to others, but I certainly will be sending light silently to most everyone I encounter. 

This is how I experience light, but how do you experience it?  Is it a goodness you express through acts of kindness?  Does your light take the form of prayer?  Maybe you offer services that brings light into others lives.  But you do have a light.  Some may call it 'the light of Christ' or 'a spark of the Divine' or 'a golden heart'.  Have you discovered your own personal light?

Isn't it time that you did?

Breathe Three Times

We tend to think of meditation in only one way.

But life itself is a meditation.

Raul Julia

Meditation can take on many forms.  It can be experienced through music, candle light, silence, prayer, forms of creative expression, walking, gardening, etc ...   The path of meditation leads into inner wisdom, calm, and insight.  It silences the chatter of the conscious mind and allows an awareness of divine presence within each of us.

Whatever helps us to be centered in stillness, deepens the relationship with self and shuts out the chaos of life.  It offers
us a reprieve, a gentle place to rest our body, mind, and spirit.

Meditiation is free, does not require special aids or specific religious belief systems.  It becomes enhanced through patience and practice.  Let go of all pre-conceived ideas and create a meditation routine best fitted for personal relaxation.  Just take a deep breath, breathing in light and exhale, breathing out stress.  Do this slowly three times and then begin a meditation in whatever form decided upon.  Inner illumination will lead to soul's discovery!

Freedom in Chasing Bubbles

Resolve and thou art free.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Bubbles are very freeing!  I have always loved the simplicity and magical quality of bubbles.  I not only loved them as a child, I was delighted to fall in love with them again with my children and once more with my grandchildren.

Years ago when I worked down town a card shop had a bubble machine pointing out onto the sidewalk.  I could hardly wait until lunch time when I could walk back and forth feeling the bubbles pop on my face and clothing.  I begged my co-workers to go with me to enjoy this stress releasing activity.  They grew so tired of my manipulations, they bought me my very own bubble machine for my birthday.

At the time, I was living in a condo with a very small but secluded courtyard.  I could hardly wait for the weekend to set up my bubble machine and leisurely read on my porch swing.  It was so calming to watch the bubbles float while the colors glistened in the sun. On windy days, I could hear people walking by commenting about the bubbles, wondering where they were coming from.  I could hear them laugh as the bubbles danced their way. 

When my daughter turned 30 years old, I brought my bubble machine to her party and individual bubbles for each guest.  As we shared memories and blew our own bubbles in the candle light, the evening took on a magical glow.

When my grandson turned five years old, I gifted him with his very own bubble machine.  Oh what fun we had!  Running and chasing bubbles flying in the air. 

There is freedom in chasing bubbles and this simple act sets our spirits free.  Freedom is the natural way of living too soon forgotten, left behind in childhood. 

The next time you are feeling out of sorts, grab a bottle of bubbles and head for the out doors.  Then blow your worries away! 

  

No Trespassing ...

Unasked advice is a trespass

on sacred privacy.

Author Unknown

Years ago, I had a friend who was a career focused single mother.  She would rush home from a full day of high stressed work and into the demands of self-imposed elevated parenting expectations.  In order to allow her self some personal space as she transitioned from her professional life into her personal arena, she would enter the home through the garage door grabbing a base ball hat for her head.  The family knew that no one could ask or demand anything from their mother until she removed the base ball hat.  Amazingly, it worked.

We all lead very busy lives, usually trying to meet the demands of both work and family.  Even in retirement we are often called to be care givers to our extended family members.  It is difficult to say no to requests when we are just trying to preserve some personal breathing space. 

Perhaps we all need post-a-notes or stickers stating "No Trespassing".  We could apply them either to our private journals or our hats.  It would be a physical warning for others to respect our personal space.  For those who are creative, they could embroider or paint little signs to hang on the door knobs to the rooms considered sacred space. 

In our fast paced society, we all need a time out. Unfortunately, as adults, we don't have elders sending us to our rooms or to sit quietly in a corner reading a book.  Sometimes our alone time is when we fall exhausted into bed long after our bedtime. 

We are really talking about healthy boundaries. We cannot fault others when we fail to protect our time and space.  By setting an example, our children or grandchildren will learn the importance to give self permission to be nurtured or alone.  If we develop a strong sense of self, we will not only establish 'No Trespassing' in our personal arena, but in our
professional or social lives as well.

Moving Forward

He who knows others is learned;

He who knows himself is wise.

~Lao-tzu

Tao te Ching

The time is quickly approaching for me to travel on a spiritual quest to North Carolina.  Last year my intention was to 'align my stars' while safely crossing the bridge to the other side.  The time spent traveling to and from this women's retreat was simply magical.  Being in the presence of heightened energy allowed one to travel in time or simply stand still.  I believe I experienced both.

"Why, if I had such a deep experience of self-discovery last year, am I feeling resistance to attend this year," is my on going question.  I am faced with my own rigid behaviors and false limitations.  I am discouraged by the appearance of ruffles and bows rather than seeing the simplicity of what could be.

Turning to contemplation, I used a favorite book for guidance.  While reading the well worn pages, I came across a paragraph encouraging me to travel with like minded people.  The writing reminded me that when energy is gathered we not only stimulate our selves, but also awaken the spiritual impulses of the earth.

Thinking of the bigger picture, perhaps it is not important for me to actually 'know' why I am attending.  Maybe I am not attending for a personal intention, but simply need to be present in the gathered energy. 

I am willing to trust there is a reason for my attendance even though it is currently hidden from me.  I can feel Spirit nudging me to move forward, so forward I will go.

 

Walking

 My grandmother started walking five miles a day

when she was sixty.  She's ninety-three today

and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

This quote by Ellen DeGeneres reminds me of my self.  I walk three to four miles per day and often times wonder where I would be if I just kept walking.  It is not about running away or not wanting to return home.  It is in regard to the connection I feel in nature.

As a child, trees were my most favorite things.  Leaning against an old tree was where I would sit ... thinking ... breathing ... suspended from every day life.  Looking through the swaying branches, I would watch lofty white clouds floating in the sky.  My collection of rocks were held in my small dirty hands or safely tucked away in my frequently torn pockets.  When I tired of sitting, I would wander aimlessly just breathing in everything around me.

Walking allows my brain to be distracted from fast thinking or problem solving.  The physical motion of my body magically releases stress I have accumulated throughout the day.  Fragrances from neighborhood flower gardens relax my body, mind, and spirit.  I find my self opening to a level of clarity not usually available to me.

Walking is the only activity that alters all of my senses at one time in this specific way.  It is no wonder I experience withdrawal during the winter months when I can no longer leisurely loiter in reverie.

I can only hope that I will be healthy enough to continue my walks if I reach the age of ninety-three.  And as forgetful as I already am, who knows where my future walking will take me!

Swing Open the Gate ...

 Your only obligation in any lifetime

is to be true to yourself.

Richard Bach

We cannot be true to our most inner self if we do not explore our strengths, weaknesses, and insights.  Unfortunately our strengths are displayed rather nicely as children only to be ridiculed by others instead of encouraged and supported.  In the end, we can find our selves living parents dreams instead of dreams of our own.  The good news, however, is it is never to late to pursue our heart's desire.

Not only is it important to honor our talents and gifts, it is also very healthy to have an outlet where we can totally lose our selves.  When we invest in something we love doing, stress reduces, blood presssure drops, and mental attitudes improve. 

To be involved in an activity that brings us joy, we feel liberated which creates higher self regard.  Being creative in our own personal way heightens our life experiences directly and indirectly. 

We must take time to fan the fires of our passion.  We must give our selves permission to be involved in activities that allow us to be truly aligned with body, mind, and spirit. 

Step off the beaten path, swing open the gate and follow  intuition to where we need to be led.  Something wonderful is waiting ... if we would just stop and listen. 

Opportunities ...

I am a promise.

I am a possibility.

I am a great big bundle of potentiality.

~ Children's song

There was a story I read some years ago about a man having a vision with a spiritual guide.  The guide asked if the man wanted to see the mistakes he had made in his life.  "No," the man declined, "I am all too aware of the errors of my ways."  So instead, the spirit guide showed the man opportunities he had missed during his adult life. 

I believe there are possibilities galore for all of us.  Some we don't recognize as opportunities while others we ignore.  We may be tempted by situations, but for whatever reason, we simply do not follow through.

Once I was invited by a physician to move to a Native American Indian Reservation with her family.  She had longed to serve this population and finally the arrangements had been made.  I was offered a position to counsel and share energy work on the reservation.  Loving Native American Culture, I was tempted to accept, but I declined. 

On another occasion, I was made an offer from people in Champaign, Illinois, to move to Prescott, Arizona.  A new community of like minded individuals was being developed where I could create a new way of living.  I decided not to accept.

Of course I wonder how my life would have unfolded in these different scenarios, but in many ways, I think we grow into our selves no matter where we are living.  The location or community may alter the experience, but I believe the needed lesson will be learned either way.

With hindsight, I think of the many times my spiritual guides must shake their heads and say, "She didn't get that either!"  So back to the drawing board they go, thinking of other ways they could attract my attention.  When I still don't respond to needed opportunities, I sometimes hear a calling or get a kick in the pants!  I believe Spirit nudges me in the direction I need to go. 

African Saying ...

  

" THOSE WHO LOVE YOU

ARE NOT FOOLED BY MISTAKES

YOU HAVE MADE

OR DARK IMAGES

YOU HOLD ABOUT YOURSELF.

THEY REMEMBER YOUR BEAUTY

WHEN YOU FEEL UGLY;

YOUR WHOLENESS

WHEN YOU ARE BROKEN;

YOUR INNOCENCE

WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY;

AND YOUR PURPOSE

WHEN YOU ARE CONFUSED."

(African saying)

Hopefully, we will all experience unconditional love as described in this old African saying.  Whether it is offered by a family member, a friend, or a mentor, this type of emotional support can personally impact life in a highly profound way.

When we have loved ones surrounding us, we can see a reflection of our selves in them as like attracts like.  If we admire a quality a person has, we usually have the same quality or the desire to develop that quality more in our selves. 

It is important to allow chosen friends or companions to grow close to us so during difficult times they can remind us of our strengths and gifts.  They can encourage us to continue to move forward as we often have had to do in the past.  We are given reminders of our past mastering of events.  Their very presence reminds us that we are not truly alone.

In kind, we must endeavor to return the favor to others.  By acknowledging the challenges of others, we can stand present in their lives and reflect their strengths back to them. 

In life, there are times when it is just too easy to lose our way or to forget the beauty of our souls.  Let us be a reflection to each other as a reminder of  the goodness residing within us all.

Recognizing Worthiness in Each Other

Our stresses, anxieties, pains and problems

arise because we do not see

the world, others, or even ourselves

as worthy of love.

Prem Prakash

Yesterday, our neighbor did a very kind deed for us.  He happened to see something that got overlooked, so he took it upon himself to correct it before we even knew things had gone awry.  He reacted as a good neighbor, knowing we would have done the same if the situation were reversed.

What interested me, however, was the difference between responses to this neighborly gesture.  I immediately was touched by the unnecessary but deeply appreciated action, whereas my 'significant other' politely gave thanks, but focused more on how he should have noticed it himself.  The good deed somehow ended up as a sign of his own neglect.

Throughout the evening, my mind just kept looking at this situation wondering why two people would react so differently.  Why would some one choose to criticize himself rather than be thankful for some one else's actions?

The answer eventually surfaced and I readily recognized it as it was an area I have worked on all of my life ... worthiness.  There were many yesterdays that I resented help from others, thinking I should be able to meet my own needs.  I disliked if someone unasked assisted me as I believed they viewed me as being incapable of completing the task on my own.

As the years passed, I learned a great deal about myself and others.  I started to recognize my strengths and gifts, as well as the strengths and gifts of others.  Life no longer was a competition and the only one I needed to compare myself to, was me.  I began to honor my accomplishments and respect the outcomes of my challenges.  Self-worth eventually surfaced and changed my out look of the world surrounding me.

It is far easier to embrace kind gestures of neighbors, strangers, or cultures when we are comfortable in our own skin.  The immediate reaction is no longer to look within to find fault, but to look out wards at the kindness of another with a thankful heart.  With recognition of the good actions of others, we allow them to feel respected and we grow closer together.

By graciously receiving the help of an other, we begin to feel hope in each other and in the world.  Instead of focusing on weaknesses we can focus on strengths finding a place for every one to live side by side in harmony.

The next time you feel ungrateful or defensive about a person's kind gesture, examine what those feelings are really about.  Look inside and determine what it is about you that is triggering this reaction. 

Mother's Day ...

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters

of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you,

but not from you,

And though they are with you yet

they belong not to you.

You may give them your love,

but not your thoughts,

for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies,

but not their souls,

for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit,

not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

Kahlil Gibran

 On Children 
                                                                         

As a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same.  I wanted to be a 'mom'.  I wanted to be a really good mom.  When I graduated from college, I still wanted to be a 'mom' and not an ordinary one either.

I chose to bring four children into this world.  At the time, I had no idea what challenges these babies would bring nor how many decisions I would have to be make, but I certainly did not anticipate the extent their lives would have upon mine. 

I once read an article quoting an adoptive father upon receiving his first child.  The quote was, "I can hardly wait to watch this child unfold, to discover the magnificence of this life."  It was refreshing to read about a parent who was not designing the path of the child. 

My three boys were nothing alike and yet there were so many similarities.  What I learned with my first son certainly didn't help me with my second or third son.  Each child needed differing rules, individual guidance, and unique experiences.  Then my fourth child was a girl surprising us all.  We each gave her a part of our self which she blended into her

own creative spirit.

I raised my children to be independent, desiring to nurture strengths and strengthen weaknesses.  It was vitally important

to me that they established and maintained a sense of belonging to each other no matter what life brought forth on any given day.

As my children evolved into their own individual spirits, they taught me trust, faith, and the deepest sense of love I had ever experienced.  They certainly became aware of my short comings, personal challenges, and determination to become more fully 'me'.  There were difficult times for all of us, and the consequences shaped us into who we are today.

Being a mother has been the most important role I have had in my life time.  I know in my heart I did my best and acknowledge that often my best was not enough.  Motherhood grew me emotionally and spiritually, the teacher becoming the student.  I will always be grateful for having the privilege of bringing these four special souls into the physical and I honor the individual paths they have followed.

May the blessings be ...

This is My Day

The spiritual teacher

only points the way;

we must do

our own traveling.

Buddha

Most every day, I walk 3 to 4 miles.  It would be impressive to say I do it for the exercise, but that would be an untruth.  I walk to be connected to nature and to feel the energy from all that surrounds me.  The vibrancy of flowers enriches my spirit and the swaying of the beautiful trees empowers me. 

This particular morning it is raining and very humid.  The humidity feels oppressive like it is weighing me down.  I feel almost claustrophobic.  I retreat from the porch with my coffee and try to settle in with a daily inspiration.

The daily inspiration explains to me that I will always have friends, guides, and loved ones, but I must not expect to be rescued by anyone.  Although this is not new news to me, I some how allow it to make me feel lonely. 

I next turn to incoming e-mail and find myself directed to a video explaining awareness and how we must stand back and be a witness to our physical life.   As an observer, we notice a distance or a separation between our spiritual self and our physical self.  This, too, I know, but on this rainy morning, I am not looking to highlight my separatness. 

On my second cup of coffee pondering what I have learned (no one is coming to rescue me and I am separate), I find my self wondering if it is too late to crawl back into bed.  This might have been a consideration had I not already neatly made the bed a few hours ago. 

Picking up my journal, I find my self expressing resistance, avoidance, and some levels of resentment.  As I write, I am hoping that whatever it is that is bothering me will jump right out of my pen.  And in some ways, this happens.

Buddha says, "We must do our own traveling," and I know this in my heart to be true.  No one can make this journey for me.  It is a hands on, experiential assignment that I have some how signed up for and I know I will see it through.

This is my day and I can make of it whatever I want.  I get to choose to be lonely or to shift into a different perception that will bring peace and contentment.  Hmmm ... which will I choose?

A Remarkable Woman Named Rose

REMARKABLE WOMAN

There is that law of life, 

so cruel 

and so just ~ 

that one must grow, 

or else pay more 

for remaining the same.

Norman Mailer

THE DEER PARK

On Mother's Day thirty-two years ago, I gave birth to my fourth child.  As the mother of three boys, I was expecting another little boy, but instead I received the overwhelming present of a baby girl.  This may have been the first time she surprised me, but definitely not the last.

I gave her life and watched this Rose unfold. Driven by a thirst so strong and an intuitive understanding of life, she reached accomplishments before her time. She used sunbeams to gain access to her stars and still shines brightly in my eyes.


This child is a grown woman now with today being her birthday.  She remains to be a present and a presence in my life.  I nurtured her as a little seedling, protected her as a tightly closed bud, and set her free to stand strong against the storms of life.  With her roots strongly stretched into rich soil, she has withstood the challenges of life, learning to bend with the winds. 

While walking through the garden of life, we both have heard the calling to never stay the same.  Nature beckons us to be authentically bright and beautiful and to treat others just the same.  In the years to follow, she gave life back to me and sheltered me when in need. She has nurtured me and encouraged me to allow my light to shine.

My beautiful Rose is a remarkable woman ... fragrant, delicate, vibrant and strong.  Gathering her mastered gifts, she showers them upon others with a compassionate and encouraging heart.   Her dedication to friends and her commitment to serving others is a reflection of her soaring spirit.


This flowering Mother's Day gift has been inspiring in every way. Acknowledging the sense of her eternal presence, she will reside in the depths of my heart forever.